active approximately 1808 Tom Tit

“ Soon, the Birds, cock-a-hoop at the call of their betters,
To Court were invited by circular letters:
The Pigeon in waiting flew round, and display’d
“Queen Eagle sends Greeting—A Grand Masquerade.”
Of a grand Masquerade not a notion had they—
And Birds are as curious as Ladies, they say.
What impatience was felt to be ready and drest!
Not a bird, nor a birdling could sleep in her nest.
What fighting for Characters!—shifting of plumes!
How the Raven desponds, and the Peacock presumes!
[6] At length ’tis arriv’d—the grand, critical Night!
And by thousands they throng to the scene of delight. ”

“ Now, nestling amongst the thick plumes of his tail,
Now perch’d on his beak—like a sprat on a whale!
While with monstrous endearment, and dalliance uncouth,
Each caress is repaid by her camel-like Youth. ”

“ Who, when told that no ticket admitted a Mouse,—
Took huff as a bird, and flew out of the house.
The Flying-fish, too, shall come in for his share,
Who in haste from the ocean contriv’d to be there,
Just to make the Bird-fanciers puzzle and stare. ”

“ The Buzzard,—a mighty weak kind of a fowl,
Hit on no better method of seeming an Owl,
Than by catching a Mouse, and affecting to howl.
[8] The Butcher-bird, too, changing battle for love,
In the plumes of a Pigeon, made up to a dove:
He could manage the billing, though out in the cooing—
As well might a Kitten sham Cow ... and be mooing!
But his dove in a twinkling escap’d from his view,
And return’d, in the crest of a fierce Cockatoo:
Whilst ye, tiny Tits!—both the lark, and the mouse—
Drest your legs up in feathers, and call’d yourselves Grouse. ”

“ From a cunning conceit that the length of their toes
Would throw dust in the eyes of their natural foes.
“The chief reason,” said they, “why the favor we ask ye,
Is because, as we hear, little Count Borowlaski
Last night, for a Pigmy, was chas’d by a Crane,
But, by standing on tip-toe, escap’d being slain;
And it matters but little, since life is so sweet,
If we save it by slitting, or stretching, our feet.” ”

“ And, to shew that he carries more body than brains,—
When the glutton has din’d himself fat on the plains,
Too sick to be soaring, he’s kill’d for his pains.”
(Parrot.) “Make room for Miss Demoiselle!”
(Jay.) “Demoiselle!—pooh! pooh!—
’Tis no less than that very fine Lady the Hoopoo:
One row of crest-feathers might serve me or you;
But she’s never contented with fewer than two.—
[20] But see, just return’d from a voyage, the Pewit;
He’ll treat us, I fear, with a spice of his sea-wit:
No—he cuts us, I vow!—I conclude that with him
No birds are worth knowing but birds that can swim.” ”

“ Pray why does he strut so, and rise on his toes?
No creature his stars has less reason to thank:
When you’ve mentioned his neck, and his bill, and his shank,
There’s no more to be said—for his body’s a blank;
And yet this was the Tyrant commissioned to teaze up
The Frogs in their fancy for Kings—’tis in Æsop. ”

“ My nest against yours that yon bird’s the Calao.
[14] A bill!—no, a scythe, with its grindstone annex’d
With edges and saws of all colours perplex’d.
Whate’er be its use in the business of food,
’Tis a rare apparatus for drawing of blood!”
(Parrot.) “Look at yon pert Avoset—tall as a steeple!
How she turns up her saucy long nose at the people!
Then that filthified fish-eating gawky, the Auk,
That stands up like an Orator going to talk—
Yet it matters not much how she stands on her legs,—
But if I were a man, and lov’d spoon-meat—i’fegs ”

“ But tell me, Miss Pye, who is that whipper-snapper?”—
(Magpie.) “Who is it, Poll Parrot!—Not know the Didapper!
A good Diver I’m told; but he surely must fail
In his walking, (pray look?) who has legs at his tail!
He knows his weak side, it should seem, for he makes
A great fuss with his fishing in rivers and lakes.”
(Jay.) “What great stupid bird have we here?—Can it speak?”—
(Daw.) “The very same question just popp’d to my beak.” ”

“ With two spiders for claws, and a spur at each wing,
Now, shifting her spurs from her wings to her toes,
With a comb in her head, and cock-feathers for clothes,
Takes her oath she is game, and e’en fancy she crows! ”

“ Not forgetting two horns, growing out of his tail.”
(Daw.) “Fie, Mag! you grow scurrilous—feathers, not horns;
An antler disgraces—a feather adorns.—
But what hook-nose is here? pri’thee look at her placket,
Be-patch’d and be-speckled like Harlequin’s jacket,
Or, to judge by her marks,—though the notion is droll,—
She seems just coming out with the petite verole.”
(Jay.) “I’m told ’tis the Curlew—a stranger to me,
As I never change visits with Ladies at sea.—
But look at that Quizz, and be grave if you can;
’Tis the Cushew—with legs like the flesh of a man:
As to humps on the back ”

“ And what shall we think of the Nightingale’s folly,
Who, no longer “most musical, most melancholy,”
A green Domino wore, and kept screaming “poor Polly!”
Whilst Poll was like other pragmatical Youngsters,
Who, because they are talkers, must set up for songsters.
To face p. 8.
_______ Poll was like other pragmatical Youngsters,
Who, because they are talkers, must set up for Songsters.
[9] But look, if you love me, at Signor Flamingo,
Who, in spite of his person and outlandish lingo,
His spindles close up to his body is buckling,
To fit on in their stead the squab legs of a Duckling! ”

“ For, my dear, where d’ye think she deposits her stock?
Why, each stuck by itself on its needle of rock!”
(Daw.) “Do look at the Crane Balearic—what paces!—
Did Vestris or Parisot teach her the graces?
See the slip-shoulder’d thing, how she pokes as she goes,
With her back in the air, and her Bill at her toes!—
But what Fright have we here?”
“’Tis a Barbet, I’ve heard,”
(Magpie,) “Then I’m glad I’m no Barbet:—a beak with a beard!”—
(Jay.) “That’s the Bee-eater, is it not?”
“So they report.”
(Magpie) “Well!—his back’s long enough, if his legs are too short:
To face p. ”