Catherine Marsh

“ The day before yesterday, when I was in the trenches, I seated myself on a gun-carriage, and read with great comfort the first of Ephesians. My thoughts dwelt chiefly on those few cheering words, 'accepted in the Beloved.' Oh, what a healing balm there is here for a weary, heavy-laden sinner! How I long to have my heart ever alive to the soul-wants of my fellow-sinners, and to be unceasing in my exertions to win them to Jesus through the mighty power of the Holy Spirit! I am much better, but have not got back my strength. ”

“ O, my beloved sister, how I love to hear you speak about Christ: and what comfort, what cause for abundant gratitude to our heavenly Father, ought each of us to find in the cheering belief that we are knit together in the blood-bought bonds of the Saviour's love; that our hearts, wayward, changeable, naturally evil (as they ever will be here) , have been made the temples of the Holy Ghost; that they have been renewed by his blessed influence, and that the work of sanctification is now going on within them, making us meet for the inheritance which our dear Redeemer has purchased for us! ”

“ I have once more returned to the routine of a soldier's life. But do not suppose because I say this, or from anything I have lately said, that I am beginning to 'show the white feather,' and that, finding a soldier's cross too irksome, I would change it for one less weighty. Never! The Lord God has called me to eternal life in the army, and as a soldier I will die! Had I loved Jesus when I was seventeen, or rather had the love of Jesus been then made known to my soul, I certainly should not have been a soldier; but as it is, death alone shall ever make me leave my colours. ”

“ Six months more, and Douglas Macgregor and Hedley Vicars had met again. "Lovely and pleasant in their lives, in their death they were not (long) divided."
Bright as the young survivor's Christian life had been before, it cleared into yet fuller lustre during those six months, ere his sun went down at noon. He regularly visited the hospitals, to read and pray with the sick and dying, and in every way sought to follow in the steps of that beloved friend, over whose grave he had wept with the strength of manly affection, and the tenderness of a woman's love. ”

“ Years have gone by since then, but I have been preserved by his grace and kept by his power from falling away, and thus dishonoring the Christian profession. I need scarcely tell you that I have never had cause to repent the transfer of my allegiance from the Destroyer to the Saviour of men. Surely, having been forgiven so much I ought to love much, and unite with others in making known the Redeemer's love to those who are ignorant and out of the way. And what a balm tor the weary and heavy laden, what a cure for the guilty is offered alike to all in the Gospel of Christ! ”

“ Oh! darling mother, how precious I find the Saviour to be to me in these perilous times — with what trust and confidence can I place myself, both for time and eternity, beneath the shelter of His cross! How the knowledge of the love of Christ (that He bled for us) nerves the heart to bear patiently, if not willingly, all the trials and troubles which God may send us, and which we are sure to meet with, sooner or later, in this world of tears; but what comfort religion brings to the soul in leading us to forget the sorrows of the present in the bright contemplation of a future world ”

“ I generally retire to my summer-house to read when I feel serious; there I have no interruption from any one, and can sit for hours, with nothing to engage my senses but the wide expanse of the distant ocean, the sweet scent of heliotrope and geranium, the voice of the tiny humming-bird, or the rustling breeze in the lofty and quivering bamboos. Even the purring of my little kittens is pleasant to me at such a time. What fitter season for prayer than when one is surrounded by the gifts of the All-powerful Creator. But, oh! dear mother, I wish I felt more what I write. ”

“ Heard a very good sermon from 'Whosoever shall be ashamed of me and my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed when He shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels.' Oh, does not this but too truly apply to me? Am I not often afraid of confessing Christ before men? O Jesus, make me to care less for the opinion of man, and more, far more, of what Thou thinkest. ”

“ Let us both remember that we can do no good thing of ourselves, for it is the Lord alone who worketh in us both to will and do of his good pleasure. Let us not trust in our own righteousness, which is but as 'filthy rags,' but let us trust entirely in the merits and blood of our blessed Saviour. I never can sufficiently show my gratitude to God, who has shown such long-suffering forbearance towards me — who has spared me through so many scenes of sin and folly. ”

“ I took the service for the officer whose turn it was to command the funeral party, and said a few words to the soldiers who were standing around the graves, and asked them to join in prayer with me. I heard the voices of many, broken by their sobs. Not one of these fine fellows would hesitate to face a cannon's mouth or mount the deadly breach, yet they shrink from the fearful ravages of this unseen foe. Will you all pray for my regiment? Pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon them. Few are as yet prepared to die. ”

“ God grant, dear friend, your love for Christ and devotion to his service may be blessed, not only in winning fresh jewels for the Saviour's crown, but in imparting stronger faith and more earnest zeal in the hearts of those who have been already visited by the Holy Ghost, and melted by the Redeemer's 'agony and bloody sweat, and by his cross and passion.' I can never repay you for that onward and steadier progress which I feel that you have been instrumental, through the grace of God, in imparting to my Christian course. ”

“ TO LADY RAYLEIGH.
"There is much in the signs of the times to make us believe that the Redeemer's advent is near. It may be we shall not taste of death, but be caught up to meet the Lord in the air. Beloved sister, let us live in hourly expectation of that solemn yet joyful event. Let us judge of our own state by the happiness the thought gives us, and not rest satisfied until the language of our hearts shall be, 'Even so, come, Lord Jesus.'
"I cannot tell you how much happiness I find in the society of our dearest mother. ”

“ I do not wish to be thought better than I am, but rather desire to be looked upon as but a young soldier in Christ. When I bring to remembrance the years I have spent in sin, when I gloried in being the ringleader in every species of dissipation and folly, the thought has struck me that it were presumptuous in me now to rank myself amongst the followers of the Lamb. But in doing so, I would only conceal my unworthiness in the spotless robe of my Redeemer's perfect righteousness. ”

“ When I look back on my past life, nearly six and twenty years, I see nothing but an accumulation of transgression and sin. Oh, my soul, let me remember with disgust and horror that for nearly five and twenty years I was a willing servant of Satan. What aggravates my wickedness is, that it has been all committed in spite of the advice and warnings of a truly Christian mother, and how often I have silenced the voice of conscience. But why dwell any more on a life which has been wasted? ”

“ January 12th, — I have just returned from a night in the trenches, having come off the sick list yesterday morning. Last Sunday I was unable to leave my tent, but I had a happy communion with Jesus in my solitude, and derived much pleasure from the fourteenth and fifteenth of St. John. How true is the peace of mind that cleaving to Christ brings to a man! There is nothing like it in this world. How could I be happy now, if I had not the assurance that I have a Saviour in heaven, whose precious blood was once shed for me, and who now ever liveth to make intercession for me? ”

“ I get great comfort from his letters, for they show that every believer is exposed to the same temptations and trials, in a greater or less degree, and that his life is one of continual warfare. Does not even St. Paul tell us that he had a constant conflict of conscience against inclination, of the desire to do right against the promptings of evil? I feel with Newton how poor, and weak, and simple I am, but that Jesus is wise, and strong, and abounding in grace. He has given me a desire to trust my all in his hands, and he will not disappoint the expectation which He has himself raised. ”

“ There is scarcely a man in the Regiment who would not have gladly laid down his life to save his; and we all feel sorrow when we think of our victory on the 22d of March, on account of his loss.
"I am sorry that I cannot express my thanks for your kind wishes and your handsome present, a book not much read by the humble classes of my persuasion; but your book I will read and study, so that I might become worthy to meet your beloved friend, and our no less beloved friend in glory. ”

“ All this time the Prayer meetings were continued in his tent at every opportunity, and wearied and worn out as he was after nights on picquet or in the trenches, frequently before he rested he was found in the hospital tent. "In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often," he became "in labours more abundant," and his work of love carried with it its own reward, even at the time, as we learn from his letter of the 15th of December, besides the blessed remembrance of the promise for the future, "Verily I say unto you, a cup of cold water given in my name shall in no wise lose its reward." ”

“ I look upon myself as a monument of God's goodness, in that He allowed me time for repentance, and gave me an instructor and guide — one who was not afraid to confess Christ crucified, and to preach faithfully the great truths of the Gospel. I would thank you, my dear Dr. Twining, from the bottom of my heart, for all the good advice and counsel you have ever so kindly given me. I can show my gratitude in one wav, and I know you will value it: I have not bent my knees before the throne of grace for many a month, without remembering you, nor shall you ever want my poor prayers. ”

“ Like the first disciples, of whom it is said that they, not seeing the Lord Jesus, yet rejoiced in Him "with joy unspeakable, and full of glory," Hedley Vicars, led by the same Spirit, seems at this time almost to have tasted the first draught of that fountain of the water of life, whose streams make glad the City of God. In the full strength of his youth, yet actually on the verge of another world, his last words came to us with a power beyond that of death-bed sayings. Such a tone of absolute satisfaction is seldom heard in this world of unsatisfied longings. ”

“ My heart is warmed with deepest feelings of gratitude and affection towards you, and never imagine that either time, or absence, or anything else will ever cause it to diminish: and what a blessing that the anchor of our love is firmly fixed beneath the cross of Christ, for such a friendship is sure and lasting, not merely held fast by the 'silver cord' of life, which may be snapped in a moment, but imbedded in the cleft of the rock for ever. ”

“ Morning and evening the dead-cart leaves the hospital for the grave-yard. It is all very sad and solemn, but 'there is a silver lining to the darkest cloud.' I believe that to many this dread visitation of the Almighty has taught a lesson which I trust and hope never will be forgotten. Alas! that so few have the comfort of religion, the knowledge of Jesus Christ! With some of my brother officers I have lately had most earnest conversations, and they have promised to come to my room that we may read the Bible together. ”

“ Four or five of my brother officers attend Dr Twining's Bible-class. One of them has, I trust, been truly converted. He was, like myself, about the last in the regiment one would ever have thought likely to become religious; but God's ways are not as our ways, or his thoughts as our thoughts. I trust his example may do much good. It is grievous to see how little regard men pay to the salvation of their never-dying souls. But I must ever remember that I was once like them, and worse; and that it is only through the grace of God that I am now different. ”

“ It is painful, often heartrending, to witness agony we cannot alleviate; to see the distorted face and hear the cry of anguish of friends and comrades. But it is sweet to be the bearer to them of glad tidings of joy and peace through the great Redeemer's atonement and love; and to see some of them gently falling asleep murmuring the life-restoring name of Jesus. I have seen these, and I cannot find words to tell the delight of hope which has then filled my breast. * * * The weather, which has been for three or four days fine and frosty, is now again damp and rainy ”

“ What I want is to persuade you that there is reality in religion, and that true happiness is to be found in it, and in it alone. Give your heart to Christ, my darling sister, and you will never repent your choice. Let us pray earnestly that we may be delivered from the power of sin, that our evil tempers may be mortified and subdued, and that we may more closely resemble our Redeemer. ”

“ With David I can say, 'My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee, in a dry and thirsty land where no water is.' But you have taught me not to be selfishly engrossed with my own spirit, but to seek to have my soul drawn out to the hungry, to seek diligently after wandering sheep; and the deeper one's anxiety the deeper one's interest and delight in the work. ”

“ After the morning meeting I went to read and pray with the sick in hospital, and to distribute your new supply of books and tracts (with those sent by the Miss Leycesters, for which thank them with my kindest regards) , and the blessed cards of prayer, for which the poor fellows are most eager. Oh! it is enough to make one's heart bleed to see, in one hospital after another, men dying without any kind friend or faithful minister to direct their hearts to the words of heavenly mercy, to point them to Jesus, and to refresh their souls by the water of life. ”

“ You know, my dear madam, that a certain degree of religion is considered by the world to be decorous and proper, but there is nothing so much dreaded as being 'righteous overmuch.' It is quite impossible for a Christian to comply with the maxims and customs of a world which 'Lieth in wickedness;' but my beloved friend was strengthened to bear a consistent testimony to the truth, to take up his cross and follow Jesus. ”

“ It rejoices my heart to hear that you enjoyed so much of the presence of the Lord Jesus. When sickness is thus blessed, how earnestly can we say with David, 'It is good for me to have been afflicted;' I love the Lord for having brought me closer to Himself. God grant that when you are restored to health you may never forget the love of that blessed Saviour who was with you in the long hours of pain and weariness, when no earthly friend could help you. ”

“ Very early in the morning of the day he left for London, he and his mother met for prayer. He knelt long by her side, pouring out his heart in pleading with God for her, that grace and strength might be given for every hour of need. Strengthened in spirit by that prayer, she was able, with his sisters, to accompany him as far as the station. The remembrance of his last embrace, his last look, his last blessing, enriches their hearts still, and makes the place of their parting seem almost holy ground. ”