Catherine Marsh

“ January 12th, — I have just returned from a night in the trenches, having come off the sick list yesterday morning. Last Sunday I was unable to leave my tent, but I had a happy communion with Jesus in my solitude, and derived much pleasure from the fourteenth and fifteenth of St. John. How true is the peace of mind that cleaving to Christ brings to a man! There is nothing like it in this world. How could I be happy now, if I had not the assurance that I have a Saviour in heaven, whose precious blood was once shed for me, and who now ever liveth to make intercession for me? ”

“ After the morning meeting I went to read and pray with the sick in hospital, and to distribute your new supply of books and tracts (with those sent by the Miss Leycesters, for which thank them with my kindest regards) , and the blessed cards of prayer, for which the poor fellows are most eager. Oh! it is enough to make one's heart bleed to see, in one hospital after another, men dying without any kind friend or faithful minister to direct their hearts to the words of heavenly mercy, to point them to Jesus, and to refresh their souls by the water of life. ”

“ It is true that our feelings are variable. We have not always the same glorious views of Jesus, the same assurance of our sins having been washed out, and our person accepted, through the blood shed on the cross. But let us endeavour to seek for comfort in Christ, and in His precious promises. Viewing ourselves as vile and sinful, let us look to Jesus as our perfect holiness, and as our complete Deliverer from sin, and death, and hell. ”

“ I cannot but believe that many have died in peace and hope, for I have heard from the lips of several, in dying hours, that their only hope was through the mercy of Him who died on the cross. But it grieves me where I look around and see how few, very few, there are amongst the yet strong and healthy (who may, in a moment be numbered with the dead) who show any love for Jesus ”

“ Well was the day observed when it came. He kept it as a solemn fast before the Lord. Within that tent there was a Holy of holies, for the presence of God was there; and from conscious, though lowly fellowship with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, he came forth to refresh the souls of others, as one who by Divine hands is made a king and a priest unto his God. The man of prayer is a man of power. Other men take knowledge of him that he has been with Jesus: and a light from heaven shines into many a dark heart through one who is a living temple of the Holy Ghost. ”

“ In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.' I enjoy the presence of Jesus often now, and when He is near me I feel happy and peaceful. May He become more precious to our souls each day, and may our hearts be changed gradually more and more after His likeness. ”

“ Although I have often cause to grieve for my backwardness and slothfulness in the cause of Christ, yet my heart yearns over the souls of those who have not fled to the cleansing fountain of His blood for pardon and peace; and often, on rising from my knees, I have felt so powerfully drawn by the love of Christ that I have been almost on the point of going out through the camp to endeavour to impart to others the ground of my own peace and happiness. ”

“ The hospitals are still full, and many poor fellows die every week; but I trust we have seen the worst. The chaplain of our Division has gone to England invalided, and there is no one to take his place, so we have no service for sick or well: but I mean to ask the Colonel whether I may read in the hospital next Sunday. You will he glad, precious mother, when I tell you that, although there have been cloudy seasons for my soul, I have generally been enabled to rely on the faithfulness of Jesus; and I find such comfort in looking only to Him, and trusting in His intercession and atoning blood. ”

“ What a blessed thing it will be to serve Christ, with a heart wholly renewed and made like unto His, when sin can no more afflict us with its presence, or bow us down under its intolerable burden. But it is not always thus that my soul longs and prints for that great advent of my glorious and precious Saviour. ”

“ How uneasy you must have felt when you read in that interesting soldier's letter, that he hoped God would accept his own sufferings and the sufferings of his blessed Saviour in atonement for his sins, when the 'blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth from all sin.' God grant he may see that the way to join the blessed company who are arrayed with white robes and palms in their hands, is to wash his robes and make them white in the blood of the Lamb. ”

“ Nothing could be more favorable than the weather has been lately, and the roads are in capital condition. My love to your beloved father, and sister, and brother-in-law, to Mrs. M———, and to dearest Louie. I enclose a letter to my own L———. God bless you, my own most beloved mother-sister. How delighted I am you told me the day which is appointed for national prayer. We shall keep it in the camp, too, please God. Jesus is near, and very precious to my heart and soul. May He ever be to you also, my own second mother. Ever your most warmly attached son and brother,
"Hedley Vicars." ”

“ Thus shall we find peace, not in feeling ourselves to be good and holy, but in hourly acknowledging our wretchedness and casting our sins upon the Saviour, and receiving out of His fulness grace for grace. Strive, then, to cultivate a spirit of praise, my own darling Georgie; you have no idea how much happiness and cheerfulness it will bring you. God bless you and fill you with all joy and peace in believing. Ever your most tenderly attached and affectionate brother ”

“ God grant his most precious life may long be spared to us and to the Church of God. Tell him, with my best love that I have distributed amongst my brother officers his delightful 'Invitation to United Prayer for the Outpouring of the Holy Spirit.' And I trust that it may lead several to turn their thoughts and minds to the contemplation of those things that belong to their peace. Major Ingram is one of ray best friends, and a true Christian. I have known both him and his dear wife for many years. We have often prayed, and read, and held communion together. ”

“ Who knows how many precious lives may not he spared, and what great success granted, sooner or later, in answer to the prayers of this day; for if the 'effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,' how much more may an abundant answer be expected to the prayers of England, offered up as they have been this day by all the Lord's peple in the name of Jesus, and pleading his atoning blood and all-sufficient righteousness. ”

“ Shells in quick succession were shooting up into the air, with the bright glare of artillery reflected over the brow of the hills in our front, and the lurid flushes of musketry, as volley after volley chimed in, accompanied by the wild cheers of the combatants which we could plainly hear at intervals, even amidst the deafening roar. ”

“ But then, too often, when face to face with those whom I know I shall meet at the last great day, has my courage failed and my tongue been silent. May God forgive me for the many times I have thus acted the coward, and been ashamed of Jesus, my dearest Friend, and Saviour, and King."
"Late at night, February 16th. — The camp is hushed in sleep, and nothing is to be heard save the occasional booming of artillery and rattle of musketry, or the rumbling of ammunition-waggons on their way to the batteries from Balaklava. I own to being rather tired after the duties of the day ”

“ I find more and more every day how little I can depend upon the feelings of my own heart toward Him; but my constant comfort is, that Jesus Christ 'is the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever'
"We are still on the heights before Sebastopol, but there we seem to be at a stand-still. Every-day reports are rife that some thing great is intended; but the days pass by, and nothing is done. Meanwhile the men are suffering much, chiefly from the difficulty of procuring firewood, never plentiful, but now scarcely to be got at, on account of the snow ”

“ Everything I have yet seen is just what I wanted, even to the marmalade from darling little Clara, and Dick's and Charley's gifts. How kind of dear Edward to think of getting a fur-coat for me! I shall write to him as soon as it reaches me safe and sound. I told the men to whom they were chiefly indebted for them, and doubt not you will have the prayers of many grateful hearts offered up for you. I shall write to dearest Mary and Georgie by the next mail, to thank them for their share in the gifts. ”

“ I only hope they may be as ignorant of the range when we storm!
On our return, we learnt that a strong party from the Light Division is to be detained on duty to night, in the trenches, in addition to the usual guards. We have 300 men of the 97th out to-night; so we have only forty or fifty effective men left in camp. Three Captains, besides Subalterns of the 97th, are either on covering party or out-lying picquet. I have a night in bed, for my comfort.
"I have enjoyed this day very much. * * * We met twice in the tent for prayer; and in the evening I read and prayed with Ingram and Derman. ”

“ But although few are left, and those, worn and haggard, they look such noble, undaunted fellows."
TO HIS MOTHER.
"Camp before Sebastopol, March 5th, 1855.
"My own Darling Mother — I am on regimental duty to-day, and the trendies this evening. This is a lovely summer's day, but, then, to-morrow it may be snowing, for you have no idea how changeable the climate is here. I am, thank God, safe and well in "both body and soul. I never was in the enjoyment of better health rind the Lord continues to favour me with the sunshine of His presence, filling me with peace and joy in Jesus. ”

“ But I do and will hope that many who have gone to their last home from this dreary camp are now before the Lamb, clothed with white robes. It is so great a comfort to believe this—and why should it not be true? May not many a broken and contrite heart, drawn by a dying Saviour's love to make known its wants to Him, and to lean its hopes of pardon and eternal life on the blood of the cross, have received the answer of peace direct from the mercy-seat (where, thank God! Jesus ever pleads) —'Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.'
"I hear much of a chaplain at Balaklava—Mr. ”

“ It is, indeed, hard for one that has been so tried to submit without a murmur to the will of God, but if she could see the happiness of her child now, she would not wish to have it back again. That beloved infant has gone to join its father ”

“ Although I have seen many a noble soldier laid low for ever, and regiments reduced to less than half their numbers by sickness since the 20th of last November, I have no fear of the eventual result, by the help of God. ”

“ The French have a large army in the Crimea (80,000 or 90,000 men) , and more regiments arriving every week. And what with these and 12,000 British, we are well able to defeat any Russian army Menschikoff or any of his generals may bring into the field against us. As to taking Sebastopol, that will be an affair of several months. But the warm weather will soon be coming now, and then day and night duty in the trenches will be rather good fun than otherwise. ”

“ For myself, I don't much care about it (though, of course, one does a little!) , but I do feel for the sick, many of whom are now in nice wooden huts, and will have to revert to tents again, at any rate, until we get the former on the new ground upon which we are to encamp.
"After our usual tent services, I walked with Cay and Vandeleur towards the Victoria Redoubt. The Light Division formerly furnished a picquet here, but the French have it now. From the advanced work in front of the redoubt we got a capital view of Sebastopol, with its long line of frowning batteries. ”

“ Pray give her my Christian love. I hope her little girl is well.
"Yesterday was a peaceful, happy day to my soul. We had two meetings for prayer and Scripture-reading in my tent. Besides our own little company, we had two officers of the Artillery, Capt. Anderson and Capt. Vandeleur, and two of the Guards, Capt. Le Couteur and Dr. Cay! The church was rather too small to accommodate so many comfortably, but we managed very well, and had a blazing fire the whole time; there is luxury for you!
"The Guards are gone to Balaklava, now. Poor fellows, they are much reduced ”

“ This has been a delightful day. I took a short walk with one of my brother officers, to have a look from the height near which the Guards are encamped, rather to the right of us, at the Valley of the Tchernaya. Seldom have I seen a more beautiful view. ”

“ I have been very weak since my illness, and unable to write, otherwise you may be sure, dearest mother, I should not have kept silence so long. There is positively nothing stirring here. Strong firing is kept up at intervals ”