David Pinski

“ Simeon, son of Rabbi Ismael, alone was silent. He was certain that he would be the chosen one, for thus had Rabbi Mayer spoken with his glance, and such was the will of God. And again, because Simeon, in addition to his great beauty, possessed the other qualities necessary to win Beruriah. For he felt that he was also the most unhappy. Who, indeed, could be more unhappy than he, whom God had been so unkind as to deprive of what should have been his, afterwards revealing to him what he had lost and filling his heart with hopelessness and grief? ”

“ You are young, Zerubbabel, and surely you know the power of beauty. Say, is it not the surest way? The king’s heart can be purchased for us with beauty, and Esther must do it. Is not Esther my uncle’s daughter? Was she not to me even as my own child? Is she not the flesh and blood of all of us? And yet we told her to risk her life and go unbidden to the king; and should her beauty not win the king and should she as a consequence be put to death, then we will choose still another Jewish daughter,—one even more beautiful. ”

“ Once a Roman matron had beheld him, and it seemed to her as if Adonis, the Greek god of strength and youth [Pg 18] and beauty, had turned Jew and given himself up to the study of the fathomless Torah. And she called him “the Adonis who turned Jew.” He was tall, slender and agile; the hair of his head and of his small beard was reddish; his eyes were of a colour that changed with the time of day and the temper of his moods, and none could withstand his glance. Out of piety he would shut his eyes on passing a woman, lest unholy thoughts be born in a Jewish daughter’s bosom. ”

“ Terrified, again she shrieked, “But, Zerubbabel!” She brought her white, shuddering hands to her cheeks and her glance was that of a frightened, stupefied dove.
Zerubbabel spoke with a quivering voice: “I love you, and my love is as strong as death. At night upon my couch I will call your name and my heart will languish with yearning. I will gash my body with the nails of my fingers and my eyes will burn under hot tears. But not you can be Zerubbabel’s wife,—not you the mother of his children. You will never see me again, Sheshana!”
Sheshana’s bosom heaved convulsively ”

“ You will succeed in approaching Beruriah’s heart only through compassion. I need only relate to her, with tears in my voice and suffering in my eyes, how the words ‘father, mother’ were never uttered by my lips because my father died before I was born, and my mother died giving birth to me,—how I do not even know who brought me up, because I passed from hand to hand, one stumbling across me on the threshold of his home, another coming upon me before his door, in the darkness of black night. ”

“ Now for the first time do we conceive what we possess in you; now for the first time do we know your worth. That which lay veiled in darkness has been illuminated by a glorious light. Boundless treasures that have lain buried have been brought forth for the use of all. We have all grown richer through you, and future generations will enjoy that wealth. As from a spring of life humanity will imbibe its power from you, its consolation. ‘See,’ they will say, ‘how Beruriah mastered her enormous grief, her double bereavement. ”

“ He was weeping over the last few weeks, over the wretched life he had been leading, and his subdued crying was filled with deep lamentation, filled with regret and repentance, yet his eyes did not turn from the great beauty and glory around him. It seemed to him that now, for the first time, he grasped that which all his life he had not known. He who creates such a wealth of beauty and splendour cannot be merely austere and harsh. And in his dejection he was consoled by the hope that God was good, merciful and loving. ”

“ He was dressed ready for his departure, staff in hand and wallet across his shoulder. But not the proud, handsome Simeon stood before her; not the Adonis who had turned Jew. He was wan, thin, bent; his face sallow, his eyes sunken, feverish and red; his beard unkempt; his head-covering awry. Adonis had forgotten to be beautiful. Adonis had become infirm and old. Adonis bore in his heart a fatal wound.
Beruriah straightened up in all her pride, in all her beauty, and looked at him ruthlessly, haughtily, wishing to pass him by. ”

“ He embraced her firmly, as if to shield her so that none might take her away; his voice was hard. “I know a huge cliff, high above a deep abyss. Upon that cliff would Zerubbabel climb, and up there would he cry out his infinite grief. And the rock would crumble to dust from his cries and would disappear into the abyss with Zerubbabel.”
Now Sheshana felt a tremor in all her limbs; her countenance blanched and her lips could scarcely move. “Forgive me, dear, for having spoken thus.” And Zerubbabel clasped her to him with all the strength of his passion; his eyes burned ”

“ But despite everything, Athaliah’s image did not disappear. She stood before him in all her beauty, with her radiant eyes, and that glance which penetrated into his bones and his very brain. He looked at her with ire and scorn; he even spat in disgust. All this was of no avail to banish the vision.
He lay calm, free of thoughts, and pretending to see nothing. His scorn of the feminine form knew no bounds. Soon, however, he arose and lighted a candle. The light must surely banish the evil vision. ”

“ In all the world not one soul [Pg 26] could be found who would adopt me as a son; they saw in me an evil visitation and only fear of God and His commandments held them back from putting me to death. And thus I grew up in hunger, necessity, and misery, without caresses, without a kiss, without a kind word, without a tender glance, without the slightest token of love, yet with a burning desire for affection and endearments. And I tell you that if Beruriah does not burst into flames of sinful lust out of compassion for me, then is her virtue indeed beyond uncertainty. ”

“ And there was a young Jewish maiden in Shushan, and she was called Sheshana, and more than aught else Zerubbabel loved her. She was his comfort and his joy,—his solace in dark moments and his rest after hard labour. Small she was, and tender, with white face and black tresses. Her whole soul was revealed in the dark eyes under the black silken strands of her lashes; a soul that was loveliness itself. Her laughter was clear and sparkling, and caressed [Pg 133] the ears of her hearers, like silks from Damascus. ”

“ In order to gain Beruriah, one need not be the handsomest, the wiliest or the strongest, but the most learned. For if our fellow-student is right in all he says as to the wisest and the wiliest then must he surely recognise that not even masculine strength will touch Beruriah’s soul. For she will tell herself, ‘An untamed bull is stronger; and what man is more powerful than a lion? Shall I then languish with desire for the wild bull, the lion, and the elephant?’ But the most learned of us will know how to call forth her admiration, and will win her heart through his skill in holy lore. ”

“ And the calm, deep sea received into its bosom all the light of heaven and earth and redoubled their splendour.
Johanan lay and gazed without taking into account what he saw, but he was inundated with the surrounding splendour. And suddenly his lips began to murmur, “Bless the Lord, O my soul. O Lord, my God, Thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty. Who coverest Thyself with light as with a garment; who stretchest out the heavens like a curtain.”
Thus he murmured and his spirit was not with him. He did not know what issued from his lips. ”

“ I Blessed with all the virtues was Beruriah, wife of the noted Master, Rabbi Mayer. It was at the time that God’s heart was filled with pity for the Jewish people, which had just lost its independence and its freedom, and from under His heavenly throne He summoned her soul, and sent her down to earth. “Go, and rejoice the hearts of the wretched and exiled. Go, and bring gladness to the sad and mournful. Let him that beholds you know that life is worth the living, and understand that he has an Almighty Lord who can create glory, and let him praise and bless my Name.” ”

“ I am all-powerful; you know that. Your life is in my hands, and the life of your sweetheart, [Pg 121] and the life of all those near and dear to you.”
Athaliah now regained her voice. “No! No!” she shrieked. “Kill me! Slay me alone!”
“You shall belong to me. I do not wish your death. I desire you in your living beauty. I am very wealthy,—the richest of all our people. I will clothe you in gold and silver, and bedeck you with precious stones. Ask what you wish and it shall be granted. Why do you fear me so? I am old in years, but strong in body, and I wish to enjoy that strength. ”

“ Shall he not come and say, ‘What is the ground for your suspicion, and how have I called forth your misgivings?’ And shall he not say, ‘You are a wicked comrade, else should you have raised no doubts against me, since there is no foundation for them.’ Shall I not tell you all that you are evil minds, unworthy of sitting before me, since your own thoughts are base and you yourselves are a toy in the hands of seduction? Wherefore you doubt, too, the purity of my wife Beruriah? ”

“ Men—to send a woman’s body before them! Sheshana, I have no words to express how contemptible that is! Do you feel it, Sheshana? Do you not feel as if you had been soiled, debased, spat upon? Sheshana, see how my muscles stiffen,—do you see my strength? I feel that my arms are giant wings ready to bear my people across every abyss and peril. Why do they fear to take up arms? Victory or Death, but no purchasing our security! Men who hide behind a woman have no sense of honour, and shall my whole people consist of such men? Shall Zerubbabel’s people [Pg 166] lack a sense of honour? ”

“ You are beautiful, Sheshana, and there is none under the sun to equal you. You are the fairest of all Judea’s daughters and in vain will they seek among other tribes for another like you. A glance from you is the sweetest of sensations, and a kiss from your lips is eternity. Your body is like the breath of a sweet flower ”

“ Nor has the slightest suspicion assailed me as to the purity of her heart. But your evil venom has corroded my being, and the stench of your words has grown foul thoughts within me. Now I tell myself, ‘The apple is wondrous fair, but who can say what passes in its heart?’ This have you wrought with the poison of your doubts: that Rabbi Mayer should feel uncertainty as to the virtue of Beruriah, his wife. Shall I not drive you from me with rods and curses? But no. I have determined otherwise. What does one do to learn whether the beautiful apple be sound at the core? He cuts it open. ”

“ Your mighty arms are my armies, and I am secure beneath their protection. I desire no other kingdom, and the whole world without you would be too small and too forlorn. My beloved, my only one, my fortress and my sun, protect your Sheshana, guard well your queen!”
More tightly than ever she pressed Zerubbabel [Pg 137] to her, and his voice quivered with agitation, and yet it spoke of his great strength.
“Zerubbabel is with you, and woe unto him that dares stretch out his arm toward you, even though it be the king himself. But speak to me, Sheshana, speak to me, my glorious maiden. ”

“ He went to Athaliah, the beloved of Jason, son of Meshulem.
She looked at him in surprise and fright. The High Priest in her home!
“I have come for your love,” he said.
She screamed and recoiled from him with hand upraised to defend herself.
“I am handsome and strong and capable of inspiring a woman’s passion. You yourself said so, and I have come for your love.”
She tried to flee but firmly he barred her way.
“I have had nothing of all my life. Nothing of my beauty and strength. Your own Jason said so. ”

“ In the manner of women both beauties did their best to heighten their charms and increase the power of their attraction. They freshened themselves in the bath; the enchanting odour of their youthful bodies they rendered more intoxicating than ever with rare perfumes; they arrayed themselves seductively like brides on the wedding night. And they came to Rabbi Akiba in radiant half-nakedness, with an inviting smile upon their cherry lips, with the fire of passion and voluptuousness in their sparkling eyes. ”

“ Drabkin was a handsome fellow. Of medium build, broad-shouldered, a fair, round face framed in a little blonde beard; a medium-sized mouth with thin, blood-red lips, above which lay a thick moustache, a well-carved nose, a high, broad forehead and a round head covered with long, thick, dark brown hair. His dark grey eyes sparkled continuously. Young girls would fall in love with him at first sight. But he paid no attention to girls. He knew very few of them and had little to do with them. He was always absorbed in his “exploiters”; he was not even aware of Chashke’s loving glances. ”

“ He saw the abyss. Slowly and gradually it dawned upon him that he lay upon the brink of a high precipice. How had he come hither? Who had brought him? Slowly and leisurely he looked over the edge. If he should fall in.... Then he understood. This was his death-sentence. He had been condemned to death and the hands of his judges were to remain clean. His blood boiled. He wished to arise at once, but he was not strong enough. He rolled his head about, thumped the earth with his fists, gnashed his teeth. ”

“ She was seized with a deep yearning for her departed children; her heart went out to them; she stretched forth her hands to them, and pressed her hands to her bosom, shaking her head; the tears came fast as she whispered fond endearments and mother-words.
She saw them before her, just as they looked in the final days before their sudden death. Playful, laughing, bright. She felt their presence so plainly that she looked around for them. No. They were not there. They were dead. They lay in the distant graveyard, deep in the cold earth, encased in boards. Strewn with earth. ”

“ Zerubbabel replied bitterly: “Woe unto the people to whom it is preached that self-defence is madness, and greater woe still unto the people among whom such preachment finds ready ears. Such a people is a heap of dead bones, from which all signs of life have fled.”
Mordecai interrupted him with a calm, self-confident voice. “Who says that self-defence is madness? Am I not, then, for self-defence? Do I desire, then, that we exterminate ourselves before the enemy attacks us? ”

“ But Zerubbabel, when he learned of Haman’s decree, neither rent his garments nor covered his head with ashes. His locks spread even more spiritedly over his neck and his eyes blazed with a wild wrath. His hands rolled up into iron fists and he fluttered them in the air like the wings of an eagle. He raised his voice, and it was like the voice of thunder.
“Oh, they shall regret it! The Jewish [Pg 143] people is to them a shattered heap, easy to destroy and to annihilate, a mob without rights, to whom each may do as he pleases. But they will learn that it is not as they have imagined. ”

“ In order to win Beruriah one need be neither the handsomest nor the most subtle, but the strongest. For what is the beauty of our most beautiful against her beauty? And what is the guile of our most subtle against her subtlety? Our handsomest will quail before her, asking, ‘Why am I so ugly?’—And our cleverest will confront her like a helpless simpleton. ”

“ Heavens, how stern and pious a Jew this Rabbi Akiba was! Scarcely his peer to be found in all Judea.
He devoted all his days and all his nights to the Holy Law, studying it himself and expounding it to others. The number of his disciples was a veritable army, and whoever heard the Torah from his lips felt that he drank from the very source of life.
Not only did he teach the Torah’s word, but also how to live its very spirit, how to purge oneself of gaiety; for laughter, play and mirth all led to sin. ”