George Augustus Baker

“ Now, Nellie!—Flirtation's the leaven of life;
It lightens its doughy compactness.
Don't always—the world with deception is rife—
Construe what men say with exactness!
I pity the girl,
In society's whirl,
Who's troubled with matter-of-factness.
A pink is a beautiful flower in its way,
But rosebuds and violets are charming,
Men don't wear the same boutonniére every day.
Taste changes.—Flirtation alarming! ”

“ So you're going to give up flirtation, my dear,
And lead a life sober and quiet?
There, there, I don't doubt the intention's sincere.
But wait till occasion shall try it.—
Is Ramsay engaged?
Now, don't look enraged!
You like him, I know—don't deny it!
What! Give up flirtation? Change dimples for frowns
Why, Nell, what's the use? You're so pretty,
That your beauty all sense of your wickedness drowns
When, some time, in country or city,
Your fate comes at last. ”

“ So we dance and flirt in our listless style
While the waltzes dream in the drill-room arch,
What would we do if the order came,
Sudden and sharp—"Let the Seventh march!"
Why, we'd faint, of course; our cheeks would pale;
Our knees would tremble, our fears—but stay,
That order I think has come ere this
To those holiday troops in black and gray.
"What would we do!" We'd drown our drums
In a storm of cheers, and the drill-room floor
Would ring with rifles. ”

“ Her pastor kiss her, and call her "dear."
"Why, Maud!" "Why, Nelly!" those damsels cry;
But lo, what troubles that lady fair?
On Nelly's finger there meets her eye
The glow of a diamond solitaire,
And she thinks, as she sees the glittering ring,
"And so she's got him—the hateful thing!"
There sit they all 'neath the Christmas tree,
For Maud is determined that she wont go
The pastor is cross as a man can be,
And Nelly would like to pinch her so,
And they go on wreathing the text again—
It is "Peace on earth and good-will towards men." ”

“ Ah, dear, when memories, old and sweet,
Have fooled my reason thus, believe me,
Your eyes can only help the cheat,
Your smile more thoroughly deceive me.
I think it well that men, dear wife,
Are sometimes with such madness smitten,
Else little joy would be in life,
And little poetry be written.
PRO PATRIA ET GLORIA.
The lights blaze high in our brilliant rooms ”

“ When fairy musicians are playing the "Mabel,"
And waltzes each nerve in my brain!
On my coat's powdered chalk, not the dust of the diamond
That only last night sparkled there,
By the galop's wild whirl shower'd down on my shoulder
From turbulent tresses of hair.
In my ear is the clatter of chalk against blackboard,
Not music's voluptuous swell;
Alas! this is life,—so pass mortal pleasures,
And,—thank goodness, there goes the bell!
AN IDYL OF THE PERIOD. in two parts. part one.
"Come right in. How are you, Fred?
Find a chair, and get a light." ”

“ Pit-pat, click-clack, on the marble floor—
A lady fair doth that pastor see,
And he saith, "Oh, bother, it isn't she!"
A lady in seal-skin—eyes of blue,
And tangled tresses of snow-flecked gold—
She speaks, "Good gracious! can this be you,
Sitting alone in the dark and cold? ”

“ And there's Jenny Welles with Fred. Tracy—
She's engaged to him now—horrid thing!
Dear me! I'd keep on my glove sometimes,
If I did have a solitaire ring!
How can this girl next to me act so—
The way that she turns round and stares,
And then makes remarks about people;
She'd better be saying her prayers.
Oh dear, what a dreadful long sermon!
He must love to hear himself talk! ”

“ Dear! where is Marie?—how it rains!—
I don't care; he's real nice and handsome.
And his talk sounds as if he'd some brains.
I do wonder what is the reason,
That good men are all like Joe Price,
So poky, and stiff, and conceited,
And fast ones are always so nice.—
Just see how Joe acted last evening! ”

“ To light with happy faces
The dear old mother-home,
Be tender with our darlings,
Each merry maiden bears
Such love and longing with her—
Men's lives are wrapped in theirs.
THE "STAY-AT-HOME'S" PÆAN.
The evenings are damper and colder ”

“ Why men will deceive themselves.
'Saw him kiss me!'—Oh, you wretch;
Well, he begged so hard for one—
And I thought there'd no one know—
So I—let him, just for fun.
I know it really wasn't right
To trifle with his feelings, dear,
But men are such stuck-up things ”

“ Let's walk—see, they're forming a Lancers;
These square dances are such a bore.
My cloak—oh! I really don't need it—
Well, carry it,—so, in the folds—
I hate it, but Ma made me bring it;
She's frightened to death about colds.
This is rather cooler than dancing. ”

“ Don't do no harm at all:
There's one gal here—I tell yer,
She got an awful fall.
You know her—Ma'am'selle Ida—
She's Jimmy Barnet's wife,
The prettiest little woman
You ever see in your life.
They was lovers when they was young uns,
No more'n two hands high.
She nussed Jim through a fever once,
When the doctors swore he'd die.
I taught 'em both the motions;
She never know'd no fear,
And they've done the trapeze together
For more'n a couple o' year.
Last Summer we took on a Spaniard,
A mis'rable kind of cuss,
Spry feller—but awful tempered,
Always a-makin' a fuss. ”

“ Aged twelve,—that's the last flirtation.
What has become of the children, then?
How can an answer be given?
Folly filling each curly head,
Premature vices, childhood dead,
Blighted blossoms—can it be said
"Of such is the kingdom of heaven?"
CHINESE LANTERNS.
Through the windows on the park
Float the waltzes, weirdly sweet;
In the light, and in the dark,
Rings the chime of dancing feet.
Mid the branches, all a-row,
Fiery jewels gleam and glow;
Dreamingly we walk beneath,—
Ah, so slow!
All the air is full of love ”

“ Gad, how he must hate us, out there in the cold!—
We rode in a hack on the day of our marriage,
Number two forty-six—I was rolling in gold,
For I'd quite fifty dollars; and don't you remember
We drove down to Taylor's, a long cherished dream:
How grandly I ordered—just think, in December!—
Some cake, and two plates of vanilla ice-cream.
And how we enjoyed it! Your glance was the proudest
Among the proud beauties, your face the most fair ”

“ For people to get late to service,
Just to make a great show coming in.
Perhaps she is sick, and can't get here—
She said she'd a headache last night.
How mad she'll be after her fussing!
I declare, it would serve her just right.
Oh, you've got here at last, my dear, have you?
Well, I don't think you need be so proud
Of that bonnet, if Virot did make it,
It's horrid fast-looking and loud.
What a dress!—for a girl in her senses
To go on the street in light blue!—
And those coat-sleeves—they wore them last Summer—
Don't doubt, though, that she thinks they're new. ”

“ Tell the truth, I'm rather glad;
Looking at it every way,
One must own it isn't bad.
She's good-looking, rather rich,—
Mother left her quite a pile;
Dances, goes out everywhere;
Fine old family, real good style.
Then she's good, as girls go now,
Some idea of wrong and right,
Don't let every man she meets
Kiss her, on the self-same night.
We don't do affection much,
Nell and I are real good friends,
Call there often, sit and chat,
Take her 'round, and there it ends.
Spooning! Well, I tried it once—
Acted like an awful calf—
Said I really loved her. Gad! ”

“ And of course, it was quite a temptation
To run off with another man's wife.
At his age, you know—barely thirty—
So romantic, and makes such a noise
In one's club—why, one can't but excuse him,
Now can one, dear? Boys will be boys. ”

“ And dainty the kisses my love gave me.
"Dear love, are you recalling
The old days, too?" I said.
Her sweet eyes filled, and with tender grace
She turned and rested her blushing face
Against my shoulder; a sunbeam falling
Through the leaves above us crowned her head.
And so I held her, trusting
That none was by to see;
A sad mistake—for low, but clear,
This feminine comment reached my ear:
"Married for ages—it's just disgusting—
Such actions—and, Fred, they've got our tree!"
THE MOTHERS OF THE SIRENS.
The débutantes are in force to-night,
Sweet as their roses, pure as truth ”

“ All through, dear? Now, don't wipe your mouth with the doily!
They're really not careful at all with their wine;
It wasn't half warmed—the salad was oily—
And I don't think the duck was remarkably fine.
THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.
Oh! ”

“ Holloa! something's wrong with the children!
Those young ones do nothing but scream.
AN AFTERTHOUGHT.
Vine leaves rustled, moonbeams shone,
Summer breezes softly sighed;
You and I were all alone
In a kingdom fair and wide
You, a Queen, in all your pride,
I, a vassal, by your side.
Fairy voices in the leaves
Ceaselessly were whispering:
"'Tis the time to garner sheaves—
Let your heart its longing sing ”

“ So bright, why the light makes me wink!"
"Your eyes, dear, are"—"don't be a goose, Fred;
What do you suppose folks will think?"
Crash! Screech! "Och I'm kilt!"—"Fred, what is it?"
"Branch broken—small boy come to grief."
"Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo! I wants mine muzzer!"
"Look out there!" "Police!" "Hi, stop thief!"
"Well, father, I guess it's all over;
Just help Nelly down off the stool."
moral.
Sung:—"Mellican piecee fire bully!"
Ching:—"Mellican man piecee fool."
FISHING.
"Harry, where have you been all morning?" ”

“ Those are my feet, sir!"
"Oh, pa, lift me up, I can't see."
"Come down out o' that, yez young blackguards!
Div yez want to be killin' the tree?"
"Hooray! look at that?" "Aint it bully!"
"It's stuck!" "No, it aint." "There she goes!"
"I wish that you'd speak to this man, Fred,
He's standing all over my toes."
"Take down that umbrella in front there!"
"My! aint we afraid of our hat!" ”