Mary L. Code

“ Estcourt was sitting with her work by the drawing-room fire, with Arthur by her side, much more quietly and gravely than was usual with him, he said suddenly:
“But, aunt, when are you going to answer that letter?”
“That is just the question I was asking myself, and the answer was, ‘Now.’ What shall I say, Arthur?”
“Well, don’t you think I had better go?”
“Yes, surely, dear. But how are you going to get there? You cannot travel by yourself.”
“Oh, aunt!” said Arthur, almost in an alarmed tone of voice, “I should hope I am old enough. ”

“ What, is she better then?” asked Arthur joyfully, and yet with a certain trembling at his heart, as he saw the expression on Anna’s face.
“Oh, no, Mr. Arthur,” she said, bursting into tears. “Poor, dear little darling, she can’t scarce breathe; its dreadful to hear her, and she such a sweet little pet. Oh, dear, dear, dear, and whatever will mistress do, and master?” ”

“ He was not crying, and there was almost a little wan smile on his face as he said it, making him look very different from the bright, joyous boy who generally threw his arms around her neck with an embrace, which was most emphatic as well as affectionate. He did not know how her heart was aching for him, and he knew still less of the pain his father felt, but could not show.
As Arthur sunk on his knees that night by the side of his little bed where the firelight was brightening and glowing, a deep sob came up from the very depths of his heart ”

“ Vivyan was able to answer, and then she said:
“When you are older, darling, you will find out that it is not always the people who talk and cry most, who feel things most; and that there is such a thing as saying ‘Thy will be done,’ and of not giving way to all our feelings for the sake of others.”
“Ah, yes; that is what I ought to do,” said Arthur with a deep sigh.
“Arthur, dear,” said Mrs. Vivyan presently, looking straight into the fire, and closing her hands very tightly, “don’t ever think I do not care or feel. ”

“ It was a very pleasant spot, so much so, that when Arthur threw himself down on the grass to rest, he said with a deep sigh, “Well, it might be worse; and Aunt Daisy is certainly very kind.”
“Yes, it might be worse,” he continued to himself; “and it is nice to think of by and by, when they come back. Suppose they were dead!” He shuddered at the thought. “I can quite fancy what mother will look like when she sees me again. No; I don’t believe I can, though. How will she feel, and how shall I feel? I suppose very different from what I do now; for I shall be really a man then. ”

“ Estcourt saw his faults, she saw his struggles too; and she noticed when he gave up, what was a great matter to a boy, such as he was; and she knew that this was not natural. She knew that it was God’s love that made Arthur glad; and often in her heart’s secret depths she would wish to be a child like him once more, that she might believe as simply; for thoughts and questions made her very unhappy at times, and the reasonings of her natural mind prevented her enjoying the promises that God gives. ”

“ But then his sorrow was sweetened by the knowledge that Edgar was not gone into a dim, unknown region; but had left this world to be with that gracious Saviour who loved him far more, and cared for him better than any earthly friend could, however willing; and then Arthur knew that by-and-by they would be together; and meanwhile he was under the same good Shepherd’s care, and just as safe as his little friend; for the Lord Jesus has promised that His sheep shall “never perish.” Is it not happy to be a lamb of that flock which has Jesus for its Shepherd? ”

“ Here you are with an aunt who is going to make ever so much of you, I can see; going to live in a most beautiful country, with a school near, where, of course, the boys will be pleasant companions if you are pleasant to them; a half-holiday every Saturday; a father and mother gone away for a little while, thinking of you all the day; and a letter from India—I won’t say how often. Ah, it was very different when you and I were young! Eh, Daisy?”
“No. I think I was very happy then,” said Mrs. Estcourt. “I am sure our grandfather and grandmother were just as good as any one could be.” ”

“ Arthur had not been left alone all these years for nothing. In his loneliness and sorrow he had been learning slowly, but surely, more and more to cast all his care on another, to confide in Him as a child in its father; he knew more of the rest of lying in those “everlasting arms,” and had proved what a refuge God is; and this was well worth all the sorrow through which he had learnt the lesson.
One morning in May, when Arthur came down to breakfast, he found on the table something that was always welcome to him—a letter from India. ”

“ I could not bear to have any old man or woman looking after me.”
“They need not be old, you know,” said his aunt. “Now, Arthur,” she added very decidedly, “there is no use saying anything more about it. If you go at all, I must know that some one is in the carriage with you. I need not tell them to take care of you, but I must know that some one will be there; and I know Mrs. Maitland is going to London to-morrow, so I shall find out what train she is going by.” Arthur made an impatient movement; he did not say any more, but a look was on his face that showed what he was feeling. ”

“ Vivyan, speaking gravely but kindly, “I tell you we would if we could; but you must be contented to believe that it cannot be.”
“But I am sure it would do me no harm, father; you don’t know how much heat I can bear. I believe I am better sometimes in hot weather. And oh! I don’t believe I could live in England by myself.”
He gave a very weary sigh, and leant his head heavily on his mother. Presently he felt a tear on his forehead, and he knew that she must be crying.
“My own darling little mamma,” said Arthur, “I love you with my whole heart. Oh, you don’t know how very much I love you!” ”

“ The house seemed very dark and gloomy after the cheerful sunlight, and it seemed to him as if there was no sound of any sort indoors, except now and then a faint noise from the servants’ regions far away; for even the canary-birds were silent, and the fat dog was sleeping its life away upon the hearth-rug. Indeed, Arthur [Pg 73] thought he could almost imagine, that the hairy creature and the soft hearth-rug were one and the same. There seemed to be nothing at all to do within doors, and he could not be out always. ”

“ Perhaps it was good for her to hear her child’s sobs; they seemed to enter into her heart and melt it, for it was icy in its mourning before.
“God has taken our little Mildred,” said Arthur’s father presently, in a very choked, quivering voice. “He has taken her to be very happy with Himself. He will take care of her for ever.” ”

“ People can’t always like the same things. I thought you liked cricket.”
“Oh, so I do! I should think I did just!” said Arthur emphatically; and he could not help thinking of how much more he liked it, than talking to such a disagreeable companion as Edgar was now. It needed another remembrance of the voice in his heart.
“Well, why don’t you play then? the others are playing.”
“Why, I thought you might like to go for a walk.”
Edgar pulled bits of bark off the tree, and threw them on the ground. Then he looked up in Arthur’s face with a half laugh. “Well, you are queer. ”

“ The lamp showed just enough for him to see, that inside the gateway a broad gravel walk led up to the house between thick laurel bushes; and soon the sound of the wheels grating over the gravel, told him that they were driving up the avenue, and would soon be there. His father began to collect their rugs and packages, and seemed to be very contented that they had arrived. As for Arthur himself he hardly knew what he felt; not particularly glad, certainly; for there was far too dreary and heavy a feeling at his heart just then, to leave room for much gladness ”

“ Arthur was wondering at the long silence, as he had written twice in answer to this letter. But many things had taken up his thoughts and his time, and the winter holidays had begun, before he had thought much of his absent friend.
“Aunt Daisy,” said Arthur one morning, about two days after he had seen his lesson books put away for the present, “I really wish I knew what has become of Edgar; I think it is the strangest thing that he never writes to me. People do not generally stop caring about their friends suddenly, do they?” ”

“ And then it struck Arthur, how very much more he had to be thankful for, than he had thought. He looked at Edgar’s sad life, and then he thought of how very much brighter his own was. But he knew enough of dreariness, to be able to enter into Edgar’s sadness.
“Well, Edgar, I’ll tell you what. When my father and mother come home, I will get them to ask you to come to Ashton Grange, and you may be quite sure the people there will want you. I know I shall. I think, although you are such a queer fellow, that I like you very much, and I am so sorry you are so unhappy.” ”

“ Perhaps little boys may be peculiar kinds of creatures, you know,” she said, smiling.
“I am sure, aunt,” said Arthur, looking aggrieved, “you think boys are much nicer than you did once. And, besides, Edgar and I are not little.”
“No, dear,” said his aunt, laughing and kissing him. “I do think they are very nice sometimes; and you are getting a great big fellow, whatever Edgar is.”
“I wish he would write to me,” said Arthur, pausing before he began his breakfast. ”

“ On the way, he asked, “Will you tell me how Edgar is?”
“Not very well, to-day; but just now he is asleep, I think. Were you and he great friends?”
“Yes,” said Arthur. “Are you his cousin?”
“One of his cousins. I dare say he told you there were ever so many.”
“Yes; I don’t think he knew how many,” said Arthur.
“No; I should think not,” said Maude, laughing. “I hardly do, sometimes. But I believe altogether we number ten.”
“Oh,” said Arthur, “what, ten brothers and sisters at home?”
“Oh, no; we are very seldom all at home together. ”

“ I always take my time, and I think I generally manage to come in all right in the end. I want some breakfast, please, when you are ready, Daisy. Good morning, my darling little boy,” and Mr. Vivyan put his arm very tightly round Arthur’s neck, and gave him such a kiss, as he had never remembered having had from him before. “Now, don’t cry, Arthur,” he said; for this loving embrace from his father was bringing the tears into his eyes again. ”

“ Maude sighed as she spoke. Perhaps she was wishing that she was the same herself, and that there was a peace in her heart which the Lord gives, “not as the world giveth.”
“Miss North,” said Arthur, “you did not mind your sister having taken me up stairs, did you?”
“Oh, dear, no. I dare say she knows quite as well as I do what is good for Edgar. She is a very sensible little woman.” ”

“ Arthur said, and he was half pleased and half afraid.
“Will that do?” he asked, after a long time had been spent, very carefully trying to write his best on the thin envelope.
“Why, Arthur, you are getting out of practice with your writing, I should think,” said his aunt. And she thought this might lead on to her proposal, about the school.
“No; I don’t write well, I know,” said Arthur; “but I try; and I heard some one once say, that it is not always the most stupid people who write the worst.”
Mrs. Estcourt laughed. ”

“ This was Edgar’s letter to Arthur:
“My dear Arthur,—My aunt is writing to your aunt, and my cousin Minnie is writing this for me. I am in bed, so I am not able. You see, Arthur, I am very ill, and the doctor says I shall not get better; but I am not afraid now, dear Arthur. Cousin Minnie is very nice. I like her so much; but she has to go away soon. Arthur, I hope you will be able to come. I have prayed that you may; and I think your aunt will let you, because, you see, I am going to die, most likely, and I want to see you again.
“Your affectionate friend,
“Edgar North.” ”

“ God is a refuge for us.”
Is it not a happy thing, when a heart is full and bursting—so full that it cannot contain—to know that there is One, whose name is Love, before whom that heart can be poured out? ”

“ So Edgar’s thoughts could not be told until the next day.
On the way down stairs, Arthur met Maude; and he began to wonder now whether she would like his having been all this time in Edgar’s room, and whether she would know. Perhaps his thoughts were in his face, for Maude smiled, and said:
“Oh, I know. You have been in Edgar’s room. Minnie told me all about it. What did you think of him?”
“I think he is very, very ill, Miss North.”
“Yes; poor child. It is easy to see he cannot live long. He is very peaceful though.” ”

“ It would not take nearly so long going as they do.”
“Poor mamma,” said Arthur, “I don’t believe the sea is good for her, after all; you see how ill she is.”
“Oh, yes! but she would very soon get over that; and then, depend upon it, the voyage will be very good indeed for her. Perhaps,” said Mrs. Estcourt softly, “that is the way with people in other things and ways.”
“I know what you mean, aunt,” said Arthur suddenly, “and I expect you are right.”
But his aunt heaved a very deep sigh, and said no more.
Mrs. Estcourt was very glad to see her little nephew busily occupied, for that day at least. ”

“ Arthur wondered whether this was what gave her face such a tired look.
[Pg 126] “Harold, I wish you would let Clara alone. Do take tea properly. Gerald, you know you would not do that if papa were here.” And Maude gave a sigh, as she saw her words had no effect.
“I do wish you would behave properly; what must Edgar’s friend think of you?”
“I dare say he thinks we are something like himself,” said Gerald, “don’t you?”
Arthur laughed, because he did not know what else to do. And then Maude gave a faint laugh.
“What’s the use of keeping on wishing, Maude?” said Arnold, rousing himself. ”

“ He visited every little hiding-place, to which he and his companion had given names of their own, and then he sat down on the top of a high mound near the house, where on one of his birthdays a flagstaff had been planted. The gay-coloured flag was floating in the breeze now, and Arthur wondered whether if any one else came to live at Ashton Grange they would take down the flagstaff; “at any rate,” he thought, “I will take down the flag. I think it is nicer that it should be folded up while we are all away. ”