Richard Doyle

“ Some in Groups stand a gossiping, some looking out of Windows down on the People in the Street as they go by, mighty agreeable to such as are well off, and would give me very much Pleasure. Others with their Backs to the Fire, and one methought a Country Squire striding in front of the Grate, with his Hands behind him under his Coat Tails warming himself and looking abroad over his Neckcloth, as though upon his Parish, and as if he were Monarch of all he surveyed; mighty dignified and droll. ”

“ Be he alive or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread."
"Say you so, my friend?" said Jack; "you are a clever miller indeed!"
"Art thou," cried the Giant, "the villain who killed my kinsmen? Then I will tear thee with my teeth, and grind thy bones to powder."
"You must catch me first," said Jack; and throwing off his invisible coat, he put on his shoes of swiftness, and began to run; the Giant following him like a walking castle, making the earth shake at every step.
Jack led him round and round the walls of the castle, that the company might see the monster ”

“ AS WE LAY OUT IN OUR GONDOLA UPON THE PERFECTLY CALM WATERS, BY THE ARMENIAN CONVENT, AND WATCHED THE SUN SLOWLY GOING DOWN BEHIND THE DISTANT TOWERS AND SPIRES OF THE ‘CITY OF THE SEA’—ONE MASS OF GOLD SPREADING ALL OVER THE WEST! ”

“ We eating and drinking with great Delight till late in the Afternoon, but at last broke up, the Multitude saluting us each as we stepped into the Street, and the Policeman and Beadle that were guarding the Door in great State, touching their Hats. A grand Marriage Breakfast do give a brave Treat to the Mob, in Show, and to the Company in Eating and Drinking, and is great Fun to all but those most concerned. But to think what a Fuss is made about most Marriages, and how little Reason for it is shown by most People's married Life. ”

“ His eyes flashed like flames of ire, his face was grim, and his cheeks seemed like two flitches of bacon; the bristles of his beard were as thick rods of iron wire; and his locks of hair hung down like curling snakes. ”

“ HOW HAPPY HE LOOKS! HE DISLIKES THE HUM OF MEN, AND SITS ALL DAY SHUT UP IN HIS CARRIAGE READING THE LITERATURE OF HIS COUNTRY. HOW RUDE OF THOSE GERMANS TO BE LAUGHING AND JOKING SO NEAR HIS LORDSHIP! ”

“ The Champagne flowing, we soon merrier, especially an old Uncle of Dick's who began to make Jokes, which did trouble the Bride and Bride-Groom. But they presently with much Crying and Kissing, and Shaking of Hands, away in a Coach-and-Four, amid the Cheering of the Crowd in the Street and the Boys shouting to behold the fine Equipage; and Servants and old Women looking on from the opposite Windows. ”

“ Above all, I lament the hard fate of a duke’s daughter, whom they seized as she was walking in her father’s garden, and brought hither through the air in a chariot drawn by two fiery dragons, and turned her into the shape of a deer. ”

“ The moment she came on the Stage, the Audience, Lords, Ladies, and all, upon their Legs, shouting, cheering, waving Hats and Handkerchiefs, and clapping of Hands in white Kid Gloves. But at last they silent, and let the Nightingale sing: and for certain she is a wonderful Singer. It did amaze me to hear how easy and sweetly she do trill and warble the most difficult Passages: and I perceive she hath a rare Ability of Voice. But what did no less astonish me was her Acting, it being as good as her singing; for she did seem to forget herself in her Part, instead of her Part in herself ”

“ But every one to his Taste; and they who delight in the trivial Style of Musique to theirs, as I to mine, not doubting that the English, that have but just begun to be sensible to Musique at all, will be awake to the nobler Sort of it by-and-by. And, at any Rate, an Evening of insipid Musique and weak Tea is better than sitting toping and guzzling after Dinner. ”

“ After a long day's journey, when night drew on, the Prince was anxious to secure a lodging, but they had no means to hire one, for both the prince and Jack had spent all their money; but Jack said,—
"Never mind, master, we shall do well enough, for I have an uncle who lives within two miles of this place; he is a huge and monstrous Giant, with three heads; he’ll fight five hundred men in armour, and make them flee before him." ”

“ AND THERE WERE BRITISH LADIES WHOM I CAN’T DESCRIBE, BECAUSE THEY WORE THOSE “UGLY” THINGS WHICH PREVENT THEM BEING SEEN; INTELLIGENT YOUNG AMERICANS ON THEIR WAY ALL OVER THE WORLD; NUNS, WITH THEIR QUIET, HAPPY FACES ”

“ If some old philosopher, for instance Socrates, exchanging robes for modern clothes, lest he should be followed by the boys and taken up by the police, could revisit this earth, walk our streets, see our sights, behold the scenes of our political and social life, and, contemplating this bustling age through the medium of his own quiet mind, set down his observations respecting us and our usages, he would write a work, no doubt, very interesting to her Majesty's subjects. ”

“ When he had said this, he locked Jack up in the room, while he went to fetch another Giant, who lived in the same wood, to enjoy a dinner off poor Jack.
While he was away, Jack heard dreadful shrieks, and groans, and cries, from many parts of the castle; and soon after he heard a mournful voice repeat these lines:
"Haste, valiant Stranger, haste away,
Lest you become the Giant’s prey.
On his return he’ll bring another
Still more savage than his brother;—
A horrid, cruel monster, who,
Before he kills, will torture you. ”

“ Then what Sport to observe the fat Coachmen, in their Wigs, something like Bishops', sitting on their Boxes, and the Footmen behind with their parti-coloured Liveries of drab and green, and red and yellow Plush, and gold-laced Hats, Shoulderknots and Cockades, bearing their Canes, and their Noses to the Sky, holding their Heads as high as Peacocks for Pride in their Frippery and plump Calves! ”

“ The Younger Men mostly mighty Polite, they, and especially one with a fine slim Figure and hooked Nose, with constrained Postures, making Obeisance as they serve the Girls with Beer and Wine, whereof they as well as the Men mostly drink their Whack, and pretty to see how one most elegant Damsel seem falling into a happy Dream and how with her Hair flowing all adown she droop her Eyelids, muzzy. ”

“ They soon arrived at the dwelling of the beautiful lady, who was under the power of a wicked Magician. She received the Prince with fair words, and made a noble feast for him; when it was ended, she arose, and wiping her mouth with a fine handkerchief, said, "My Lord, you must shew me this handkerchief to-morrow, or lose your head." ”

“ Methinks such Bantering is strange of a Peer, and one that hath been Lord Chancellor and used to sit on the Woolsack, or anywhere else but the Box of an Omnibus. But strange, how sober a Speech in summing up the Evidence my Lord did make after all; and no Doubt he can be reasonable and quiet when he pleases. Save a few words from Lord Campbell, not a Syllable spoke but my Lord Brougham; wherefore methinks he must have been thoroughly happy, having had nigh all the Talk to himself. ”

“ Up betimes, it being scarcely Light, to Smithfield, to see the Cattle Market, which I do think a great Disgrace to the City, being so nasty, filthy, and dangerous a Place in the very Heart of London. I did observe the Manner of driving the Beasts together, used by the Drovers, which did disgust me. To force the Oxen into their Places, they have stout Cudgels, pointed with iron Goads or Prods, wherewith they thrust the Creatures in the flesh of their Hind Quarters, or with the Cudgel belabour them on the Hock. ”

“ And so plunging his sword into the Giant’s body,m the monster gave a loud groan and yielded up his life; while the noble Knight and his Lady were joyful at their deliverance. They heartily thanked Jack for what he had done, and invited him to their house to refresh himself. ”

“ The Varlets, as they went, repeating Doggrel Verses, bidding to remember the Day, and asking whomsoever they met for Money for a Bonfire to burn their Guy, and did beg of me; but I would not fling my Money into the Fire. But Lack to think of the Delight I do take in Guy Fawkes, because of his ridiculous Figure, and recollecting how I loved to play with Fireworks on this Day when a Boy; though I know what a Libel is the Holyday on the Roman Catholiques, and the good Reason, though the Doggrel say to the contrary, why Gunpowder Treason should be forgot. ”

“ When he saw that they were both quite black in the face, and had not the least strength left, he drew his sword, and slid down the ropes; he then killed the Giants, and thus saved himself from the cruel death they meant to put him to. ”

“ I do hear Widdicombe is now an old Man, but his Cherry Cheeks, and black Hair and Eyebrows, make him look young, and his Waistcoat padded well out on the Chest takes from his Paunch, and though no Doubt he be made up, he make himself up mighty clever. All this while the Orchestra, mostly of Brass, trumpeting and banging away the most suitable Music to the Performance I think that ever could be played except the Tongs and Bones. ”

“ The Members of the Skating Club, with their Booth by the Ice mighty select, yet do as it were perform for the Amusement of the British Publique. Pretty to see them cut out Figures of 8, and in a Sort dance Quadrilles upon the Ice, which I very much wish I could do myself, but cannot skate at all, and never could, but whenever I tried to always tumbled down, generally a Squat, which hurt me. Upon the Ice all sorts of People high and low, great and little, old and young, Women and Children, indeed a Multitude of the British Publique altogether. ”

“ But good Lack! to think how, in these Days, Execution is Everything in Musique, and Composition little or Nothing: for almost no Account is made of the Master, and a preposterous Value put upon the Player, or artiste, as the Frenchified Phrase now is! After the Concerto, some Polkas and Waltzes, which did better please me; for they were a lively Jingle certainly, and not quite unmeaning. Strange, to find how rare a Thing good Musique is in Company ”

“ This is how we treat Art in this Country, and with Paintings presented to the Nation buried in a Vault, but sorry Encouragement is given to Genius; and no Wonder that Artists do Pictures for Furniture to sell to the great and small Vulgar, and so produce the Kind of Works that make up the greater Part of the Exhibition. ”

“ Good Lack! to see what Numbers of Ragamuffins everywhere with their Hats awry, Noses bleeding, or Eyes blacked, staggering under huge Placard Boards, whereon, in great Letters, "Callow and Agriculture," or, "Vote for Fairport and Commerce!" The Windows and Balconies full of Ladies, some pretty, to whom in my Wife's Absence I did kiss my Hand. But [60] to think of the Ladies wearing the Colours of the Candidates, Blue and Yellow, but only for an Excuse to deck themselves out with Ribbons! ”

“ Russell marching up one of the side Galleries, and taking the Measure of the House through his Eye-Glass: a sharp delicate little Man, with a mild Voice, but do carry himself stately. Methought his Observations amused him, for he smirked a little, and looked as if he knew the Customers he had to deal with. But to see him and the Home Secretary and the Chancellor of the Exchequer trying to persuade the Irish Members not to press their ridiculous Motions to a Division, wheedling and coaxing them, as smiling and civil as Haberdashers! ”

“ With this Noise of continual Tearing, and the Squeaking of Tin Trumpets, and blowing of Whistles, and half-a-dozen different Bands playing as many Tunes, is altogether made a most discordant Musique; and the Showmen bellowing to the Spectators to walk up, do increase the Babel. Strange to see the Lads and Lasses, heaved up and down, over and under, in the Swings, and to think what Pleasure they can take in such a Motion, which methinks a Physician might prescribe in Lieu of a Sea Voyage. ”

“ Methinks they do seem brought up to think too much of their Outsides, and to look on Display and Show as the Business of their Lives, which is a silly Schooling. I did mark some of their Mothers, old enough to know better, bedizened like the young Beauties, but looking sour and glum, and plainly ill at ease in their Pride and Vanity. ”

“ Sent my Vest to the Tailor's to be let out in the Back, and my Wife and every Body say I grow too stout, which do put me in mighty Pain lest I should lose my Shape; wherefore I have resolved to take a long Walk daily, for Exercise, to bring down my Fat. So begin this Day, and set out to walk to Barn-Elms, by the way of Hammersmith, on a brave melting Afternoon. I did muse at the Carriages and Omnibuses that passed me, crowded both inside and on the Roof, and the People upon them whooping and blowing Horns, as the British Public always do when they ride to see any Sport. ”