“ She was nine years old, she was lissome and fair, And she wore emeralds in her hair. She could dance like a leaf, she could sing like a thrush, She was bold as the north wind, and sweet as a blush. Her father tanned, her mother span, “But Marjorie shall marry a gentleman,— Silks and satins, I’ll lay you a crown!”— So said the people in Banbury town. Such was Marjorie—and who should come To woo her but this Frodgedobbulum, A vulgar giant, who wore no gloves, And very pig-headed in his loves! ”
W. B. Rands
Biographical details
W. B. Rands published works such as Lilliput Lyrics. These writings evoke Seven, toot and Nine.
Quotes by W. B. Rands
“ I wish I was a drummer to beat a kettledrum, I wish I was a giant to say Fee-fo-fi-faw-fum; I wish I was a captain to go sailing in a ship; I wish I was a huntsman to crack a nice whip. I wish I was a horse to go sixty miles an hour; I wish I was the man that lives up in the lighthouse tower; I wish I was a sea-gull with two long wings; I wish I was a traveller to see all sorts of things. I wish I was a carpenter; I wish I was a lord; I wish I was a soldier, with a pistol and a sword; I wish I was the man that goes up high in a balloon ”
“ Did turn to a Doll’s House, fair and true; I saw with my eyes where the same did sit, And there was a rainbow over it. The people inside were setting the platters, The chairs and tables, and suchlike matters, And making the beds and getting the tea: But through a bow-window I saw the sea. Up came a damsel: “Sir,” she said, “Will you walk with me by my garden bed? Will you sit in my parlour by-and-by?” “I will sit in your parlour, my dear,” said I. “Will you hear my starling gossip?” ”
“ Three times three and nine times nine: These are only her usual clothes: Look, there’s a wardrobe! gracious knows It’s pretty enough, as far as it goes! So you see the way we dress the Doll: You might make her a shepherdess, the Doll, If you gave her a crook with a pastoral hook, With sheep, and a shed, and a shallow brook, And all that, out of the poetry-book. Chorus: Bless the Doll, you may press the Doll, But do not crumple and mess the Doll! This is the way we dress the Doll; If you had not seen, could you guess the Doll? ”
“ Seven bull-dogs barked in the hall; Seven wild cats did caterwaul! The giant said, with a smirk on his face, “My Marjorie, this is a pretty place; As Mrs. F. you will lead, with me, A happier life than in Banbury! Pour out my wine, and comb my hair, And put me to sleep in my easy chair; But, first, my boots I will kick away”— And Marjorie answered, “S’il vous plait!” Then the giant mused, “It befits my station To marry a lady of education; But who would have thought this Banbury wench Was so accomplished, and could speak French?{143}” Did you ever hear Frodgedobbulum snore? ”
“ IF the butterfly courted the bee, And the owl the porcupine; If churches were built in the sea, And three times one was nine; If the pony rode his master, If the buttercups ate the cows, If the cat had the dire disaster To be worried, sir, by the mouse;{317} If mamma, sir, sold the baby To a gipsy for half-a-crown; If a gentleman, sir, was a lady,— The world would be Upside-Down! ”
“ Seven swift sailing-ships white upon the sea; Seven bright weather-cocks shining in the sun; Seven slim race-horses ready for a run; Seven gold butterflies, flitting overhead; Seven red roses blowing in a garden bed; Seven white lilies, with honey bees inside them; Seven round rainbows with clouds to divide them; Seven pretty little girls with sugar on their lips; Seven witty little boys, whom everybody tips; Seven nice fathers, to call little maids joys; Seven nice mothers, to kiss the little boys ”
“ He went on stuttering fast and far; And what was the result? Why, now He speaks no better than a cow! He has been trying,—how absurd!— For several months to speak a word; His mouth works open like a door, His arm goes like a semaphore! He strives to say what he desires; His jaws jolt up like jaws on wires; But Reuben Rammer could not speak When last I saw him this day week! How awkward to be driven to use A pencil to express your views, Try to say, “Hallo, Johnny Brown!” ”
“ For a movable doll to be made too pretty. An old-fashioned doll, that is not like nature, Can never pass for a human creature; It is in a doll that moves her eyes That the danger of these misfortunes lies! ”
“ They fit with gongs alarum clocks That make your blood run chill; And they encourage crowing cocks Beneath his window-sill. In vain the gongs,—his eyes are shut— In vain the cocks do crow; Empty on him a water-butt, And he will say, “Hallo!” But only in a drowsy style, And in a second more He sleeps—and, oh! to see him smile! And, oh! to hear him snore! He seems to carry, all day long, Sleep in his very shape; And, though you may be brisk and strong, You often want to gape When Lumpy Loggerhead comes near, Whose bed is all his joy. ”
“ Then our Johnny made a spring Up to Kate, and held her tight, And kissed her twice, with all his might, Which stopped the magic swing; and Katy then Said, “Thank you, Jack!” and kissed him back again. VI Then the Children all said, “She spoils our play: We must really get Queen Mab away; She mustn’t bewitch our Toys too much. Who will speak to her? Does she talk Dutch? John knows Magic, and Greek, and such; No one than John can be cleverer— Perhaps he knows how to get rid of her!” ”
“ But all the wishing in the world is not a bit of use; That Little Boy this very day he stands in his own shoes; That Little Boy is still but little Master What-do-you-call, As much as if that Little Boy had never wished at all!{200} He eats his bread and butter, and he likes it very much ”
“ Seven nights running I dreamt it all plain; With bread and jam for supper I could dream it all again!{287} THE DREAM OF A BOY WHO LIVED AT NINE-ELMS NINE grenadiers, with bayonets in their guns; Nine bakers’ baskets, with hot cross-buns; Nine brown elephants, standing in a row; Nine new velocipedes, good ones to go; Nine knickerbocker suits, with buttons all complete; Nine pair of skates with straps for the feet;{288} Nine clever conjurors eating hot coals; Nine sturdy mountaineers leaping on their poles; Nine little drummer-boys beating on their drums ”
“ Could not put Frodgedobbulum down.{141} The tanner thought to stab him dead— “Somebody pricked me?” the giant said. The mother wept—“I do not care,” Said F.—“Why should I be wanting a fair?” He snatched up Marjorie, stroked his boot, And fled; with Banbury in pursuit! “What ho, my boots! put forth your power! Carry me sixty miles an hour!” In ditches and dykes, over stocks and stones, The Banbury people fell, with groans. Frodgedobbulum passed over river and tree, Gallopy-gallop, with Marjorie;— The people beneath her Marjorie sees Of the size of mites in an Oxford cheese! ”
“ Where things can happen, and clocks can strike, And none of the people are made alike;{74} Where Love wants this, and Pain wants that, And all our hearts want Tit for Tat In the jumbles we make with our heads and our hands, In a world that nobody understands, But with work, and hope, and the right to call Upon Him who sees it and knows us all. ”
“ Who are those that kiss your feet? Love looked up—I read her eyes— They were stars and they were skies. Clinging to her garment’s hem, Smiling as I looked at them, There were children scarred and halt, Children weeping for a fault;{42} Those who scarcely dared to raise Doubtful eyes to smiling Praise. Love looked round, and Praise and Pride Brought their glad ones to her side. “Yea, these too,” she said or sang, And the world with music rang.{43} TWO PICTURES I THERE was a little fellow Who lived across the sea, His hair was brown and yellow As any honey-bee. ”
“ It was all through the drone of a big bumble-bee, And a drum and a drummer-boy under a tree.”{186} LULLABY THE wind whistled loud at the window-pane— Go away, wind, and let me sleep! Ruffle the green grass billowy plain, Ruffle the billowy deep! “Hush-a-bye, hush! the wind is fled, The wind cannot ruffle the soft smooth bed,— Hush thee, darling, sleep!{187}” The ivy tapped at the window-pane,— Silence, ivy! and let me sleep! ”
“ For even a giant in love to make— Terrible in its consequences, Frightful to any man’s seven senses! Down came a thunderbolt, rumble and glare! Frodgedobbulum Castle blew up in the air! The giant, deprived of self-control, Was carried away to the very North Pole; For such was the magic rule. Poor F. Now sits on the peak of the Arctic cliff! The point is so sharp it makes him shrink; The northern streamers, they make him blink; One boot on, and one boot off, He shivers and shakes, and thinks, with a cough, “Safe in Banbury Marjorie dwells ”
“ I heard the midnight clocks all round, In distant falls and swells— I heard a little silver sound, The clink of elfin bells— But will my princess be unbound, If anybody tells?{182} AUTUMN SONG THE ash-berry clusters are darkly red; The leaves of the limes are almost shed; The passion-flower hangs out her yellow fruit; The sycamore puts on her brownest suit.{183} After a silence, the wind complains, Like a creature longing to burst its chains ”
“ All round the school-room, “Johnny is a king!”{255} XIII Now, then, let us tell a tale— Six travellers in a dale, Feeling weak about the knees, Resting under six elm-trees; Six robbers, after them, Draw their swords and say, “Ahem!” Then the travellers, who have not Any weapons with them got, Shake and shiver in their boots, And they play upon their flutes Then the robbers six remark To the travellers, “It is dark.{256}” “No,” say they, “it is not quite.— Every traveller strikes a light! ”
“ I must look away, I must shut my eyes!{133} THE FLOWERS WHEN Love arose in heart and deed, To wake the world to greater joy, “What can she give me now?” said Greed, Who thought to win some costly toy. He rose, he ran, he stooped, he clutched, And soon the flowers, that Love let fall, In Greed’s hot grasp were frayed and smutched, And Greed said, “Flowers! can this be all?{134}” He flung them down, and went his way, He cared no jot for thyme or rose; But boys and girls came out to play, And some took these, and some took those, Red, blue, and white, and green and gold ”
“ Tootle, tootle-too, with a twirl and a squeak; The wind, puff, puff, Was forty times enough, That he sent into the flute from his cheek, cheek, cheek, Tootle-too, tootle-too-ey! Then people to the lad Said, “This is very bad! Our ears they are splitting, with your toot, toot, toot; Is there no one within reach— What, no one!—who will teach Little Bute how to play upon the flute, flute, flute?” Tootle-too, tootle-too-ey!{286} THE DREAM OF A GIRL WHO LIVED AT SEVEN-OAKS SEVEN sweet singing birds up in a tree ”
“ Ding and Dong went out a-walking, Ding and Dong were gaily talking: “My eyes are strong, You know,” says Dong, “And once on a time I saw through a wall.” “And so did I,” says little Ding, “I also can do a wonderful thing.” ”
“ Till he has done what he thinks in his head.{204} What is it poor little Timothy thinks To do before he eats, or drinks, Or combs, or sleeps? Why, Timothy Tight Thinks in his head to turn black into white! He caught a crow, and he tried with that, He tried again with a great black cat, He tried again with dyes and inks; He keeps on trying to do what he thinks! ”
“ Of the driest reading,— Navigation, logarithm, All that kind of knowledge,— Ancient pedigrees go with ’em, From the Heralds’ College. When the poor girl has endured Six months of this drying, Winifred will come back cured, Let us hope, of crying. Then she will not day by day Make those mournful faces, And we shall not have to say, “Wring her pillow-cases.”{198} II There was a Little Boy, with two little eyes, And he had a little head that was just the proper size, And two little arms, and two little hands; On two little legs this Little Boy he stands. ”
“ The plug was strong, the pellets were hard.{157} I should like to shoot with a bow of yew, As the English at Agincourt used to do; The strings of a thousand bows went twang! And a thousand arrows whizzed and sang! On Hounslow Heath I should like to ride, With a great horse-pistol at my side: It is dark—hark! A robber, I know! Click! crick-crack! and away we go! I will shoot with a double-barrelled gun, Two bullets are better than only one ”
“ Twirl about, whirl about, shimmer and shine, O a rose-red sash had Columbine!{33} Then one of the folks who had set the tea In Doll’s House fashion, did climb my knee, And he said, “Would you like, sir, to take a trip With me? Have you seen my little ship?” ”
“ Not you! No more can we! Black, black, Breast and back; Teeth and eyes, Lips likewise; Just like a blot Tied in a knot! And oh, the land of the Blackaways, Where this King reigns, is a very black place.{265} The grass is black, and so are the trees, The chalk is black, and so are the geese; The milk, the eggs, the flour, and the cheese; The sheets and the shirts; for it all agrees!” Get you gone, Blackaway King, if you please! And dine off black bread, and flesh of black geese, Where the grass grows black on the Blackaway leas!{266} XVII What sort of bell is this? ”
“ Large eyes and well-set mouth, I admired very much, yes, I did; And I wished you back again To your dear native plain On the loose with a marmot or a kid; With your father, and a bag full of money, In a cottage all your own Pretty much got up of stone, And with flocks In the rocks At your call, and the maids, Blue-kirtled, in the shades, And a score of beehives very full of honey!{50}{51}THE COMING STORM THE tree-tops rustle, the tree-tops wave, They hustle, they bustle; and, down in a cave, The winds are murmuring, ready to rave. The skies are dimming ”
“ Johnny drew a picture, but Johnny couldn’t spell; What he wrote under it I’m ashamed to tell; All in large capitals Johnny wrote PECTURE, Stuck it up upon the wall, and said that he would lecture; What a funny lecture, though, Johnny will deliver; While, with aches at his mistakes, all the people shiver!{222} XIV Mind the cat, Find the cat, Who will be first behind the cat? The cat’s on the mat In a billycock hat, And that’s the way to find the cat.{223} XV Large eyes, little eyes, brown eyes, blue eyes, My doll has had an accident and wants a pair of new eyes ”
“ The Boot made answer, “Hah, hah! hoh, hoh! The road to Banbury town I know.”{144}VII The giant awoke in his easy chair, Saying, “Ho, little Marjorie, are you there? A stoup of wine, to be spiced the same!— Exquisite Marjorie, je vous aime!” Now where was Marjorie? Safe and sound In the Magic Boot she cleared the ground. Frodgedobbulum groaned—“I am bereft! The left boot’s gone, and the right is left!— The window’s open! ”
“ There’s a beautiful place in the walnut-tree; The bough is as firm as the solid rock; She brings out her broom at six o’clock.{191} THE LAVENDER BEDS THE garden was pleasant with old-fashioned flowers, The sunflowers and hollyhocks stood up like towers; There were dark turncap lilies and jessamine rare, And sweet thyme and marjoram scented the air.{192} The moon made the sun-dial tell the time wrong ”
“ There is always something to make one pause. And my dot of a daughter, she says, “Papa! I wish you would make me my own mamma! She is so happy, she is so nice! And then I would give you my three white mice!” Says I, “You’re a duck, a dear, a pearl!” But really my brain was inclined to whirl; “There is always something,” I thought; “but why? ”
