Agnes Castle

“ Oh, Heaven have pity on us!"
"Where are you going?" cried Kitty, and shook her once more.
"I was going to Lord Verney to plead for my husband's life," said Lady Standish, and the tears streamed down her face like the storm-rain upon lily flowers.
"The Lord keep you," cried Mistress Bellairs with feelings too deep for anger; "I believe you are no better than an idiot!"
The most heroic resolves are often the work of a second! "Now go back home again, you silly thing," said Kitty. "'Tis I—yes, Lady Standish, you do not deserve it of me—but I will sacrifice myself! ”

“ What are you going to fight old Villiers about, I should like to know?"
"You do know," growled Sir Jasper, then he exploded. "You goad me, sir; do I want to fight Villiers? Is not this business the merest fooling; sheer waste of time when the real fellow—villain!—has eluded me?" His hold on the reins tightened, he laid on the whip, and the curricle swayed as the horses leaped and plunged.
"Really," said Lord Markham, "I wish I had come in a coach."
And: "Hold on," cried Stafford, "hold on, Jasper; we don't all want to leave our bones in this business." ”

“ And nodding at Kitty: "I know when I'm in good company," he pursued, "if you don't.—Sit down, man, there's punch brewing. Your vengeance will keep hot enough, ha, ha, but the punch won't."
"Glory be to God," cried O'Hara, staring at Sir Jasper as if he were a natural curiosity, "I've known many a madman, but I never knew one mad enough yet to run away from a punch-bowl!"
With lace ruffles neatly turned back from his deft hands, O'Hara began to peel the lemons.
"Do you," now said Captain Spicer with an ingratiating chirp. "Do you really care for quite so much peel in the bowl ... ahem?" ”

“ Nay—damn you!—I will give you a letter for my Lord Markham."
"Oh God! oh God!" cried poor Lady Standish, and felt her knees tremble, "what is this now? Another meeting! The Colonel! ... In God's name how comes he upon Colonel Villiers? Why, this is wholesale slaughter! This is insanity! This must be prevented!" She caught her head in her hands. "Sir Jasper's mad," she said. "What shall I do? What shall I do? They will kill him, and I shall have done it. Why now, if Kitty prevents the first duel, cannot I prevent the second? Oh, I am a false wife if I cannot save my husband. ”

“ Stafford, ma'am, that's a comely gentleman; not one bit of padding under his stockings, and an eye 'twould wheedle the very heart out of one's bosom! And, no doubt, if you ever thought of him, ma'am, you'd see that he paid off the little French milliner handsome. He's a very constant gentleman," said Miss Lydia, with a suspicion of spite.
"Pooh," cried the lady, and pushed her chair away from the fire, "what nonsense you do talk! And pray what thinks your wisdom of Mr. O'Hara?"
"Lud! ma'am," cried the guileless maiden, "that's the gentleman as was found behind Lady Standish's curtains." ”

“ Between them they wheeled his chair into the road and his screams and curses as he was lifted into the coach were terrible to hear.
"Lord, if he could but call out the gout!" cried Stafford. "Look at him, gentlemen! Ha, he has got his footman by the periwig! Oh, 'tis as good as a play, he is laying it on to the fellow like a Trojan! Why, the poor devil has escaped, but his wig is in the Colonel's hands. Ha, ha, he has sent it flying out of the coach! Off they go; what a voice the old boy has got, he is trumpeting like the elephant at the fair! Well, Jasper, what did I say? No duel to-day." ”

“ Come on, Sir Jasper, I'm yer man. Just pull the chairs out of the way, Tom, me dear boy."
"Now sir, now sir!" said Sir Jasper, and felt restored to himself again as steel clinked against steel. And he gripped the ground with his feet, and knew the joy of action.
"Well, what must be, must be," said Stafford philosophically, and sat across a chair; "and a good fight is a good fight all the world over! Ha! that was a lunge! O'Hara wields a pretty blade, but there is danger in Jasper's eye. I vow I won't have the Irish boy killed. Ha!" ”

“ Now, gentlemen, doubt is no longer possible, I have the proofs!"
"Come, come, Jasper, never be down-hearted," cried jovial Tom Stafford. "Come, sir, you have been too fond of the little dears in your day not to know what tender yielding creatures they are. 'Tis their nature man; and then, must they not follow the mode? Do you want to be the only husband in Bath whose wife is not in the fashion? Tut, tut, so long as you can measure a sword for it and let a little blood, why, 'tis all in the day's fun!"
"Swords?" gurgled Colonel Villiers. "No, no, pistols are the thing, boy. ”

“ I will settle as many scores as you like, Sir Jasper—so long as it is me sword and not me purse that pays them."
"Draw then, man, draw!" snarled Sir Jasper, dancing in his fury. He bared his silver-hilted sword and threw the scabbard in a corner.
"Heaven defend us!" cried Stafford, in vain endeavouring to come between the two.
"Sure, you must not contradict him," cried O'Hara, unbuckling his belt rapidly, and drawing likewise with a pretty flourish of shining blade. "'Tis the worst way in the world to deal with a cracked man. Sure, ye must soothe him and give in to him. ”

“ Do you mean, sir—am I to understand, Sir Jasper—? 'Tis monstrous." White dismay and crimson confusion chased each other across his candid brow. "Surely you do not mean me to understand that Lady Standish has any connection with this extraordinary scene?"
Sir Jasper's trembling hand was furiously uplifted, then blindly sought his sword hilt, and then dropped in impotent disgust at his side.
"My lord," said he, "Lady Standish is the pearl of womanhood, I would have you know it! There never breathed a female more virtuously attached to her husband and her duty—I would have you know it!" ”

“ Lord Markham was a person of indefinite appearance, indefinite age and indefinite manners. He wore an ill-fitting wig, but he had a high reputation as a man of honour. He sat beside Sir Jasper on the front seat, while on the back sat Tom Stafford; and the curricle sped cheerily along through the up-and-down Bath streets out into the country budding with green, down, down the hill, to Hammer's Fields by the winding Avon. Sir Jasper's face bespoke great dissatisfaction with life at large, and with his own existence in particular. Tom Stafford was beginning to feel slightly bored. ”

“ I'd never be that upset about Sir Jasper. Why, if your la'ship'll allow me to say so, all Bath knows how jealous he is of your la'ship; and, certain that shows a husband's affection."
"True," cried Julia, "that's true, girl!"
"And as for those who say, my lady, that some men are so artful that they put on a deal of jealousy to cover a deal of fickleness, I'd despise myself if I was to pay heed to such mean suspiciousness."
"My cloak!" cried Lady Standish. "Megrim, Susan!" She flew to the hall. "My cloak, let a post-chaise be ordered immediately!" ”

“ Stay; oh! women were sly devils! Lord Verney was a blind. This, this carrot Judas was the consoler! "There was a patch above the dimple at the corner of your lip. I dreamed I kissed it." Sir Jasper gave a sort of roar in his soul, which issued from his lips in a broken groan. The dimple and the patch! Ay, he had seen them! Only a few short hours ago he had thought to kiss that dimple with a husband's lordly pleasure, that dimple, set for another man!
"Blast them! blast them!" cried Sir Jasper and clenched his hands above his head. ”

“ Come, Julia, weep on my bosom. What is it now? Did he kiss you on the forehead instead of on the lips? Or did he say: 'Zounds, madam!' when you upset a dish of tea over his waistcoat? Or yet did he, could he, the monster!—nay it is not possible, yet men are so—could he have whispered that Lady Caroline looked—passable last night?"
Lady Standish rose to her feet, crumpled her kerchief in one small hand and faced her friend with tragic passion.
"It is useless to blind myself," she said. "Cease to gibe at me, pray, Mistress Bellairs; I must face the truth! My husband loves me no longer. Oh! ”

“ Sir Jasper Standish halted on the flags of the Royal Crescent in front of his own door and his face darkened. He took a pinch of snuff.
"Now! I shall find my lady in tears. What a strange world it is! The girl you woo is as merry as a May day: the wife you wed is like naught but early November. Equinoctial gales and water enough to drown the best spirits that ever were stilled. 'Tis a damp life," said Sir Jasper, "and a depressing." ”

“ Thou art not the man, Tom. Oh, Tom, oh, Tom, if I do not kill him I shall go mad!"
Stafford was weak with laughter, and tears rolled from his eyes as he gasped:
"Let us see, who can the Judas be? (Gad, this is the best joke I have known for years. Oh, Lord, the bald head of him! Oh, Jasper, 'tis cruel funny! Stab me, sir, if I have known a better laugh these ten years!) Nay, nay, I will help thee. Come, there's his Lordship the Bishop of Bath and Wells, he is red, I know, for I have seen him in the water. Gad, he was like a boiled lobster, hair and all. Could it be he, think you? ”

“ His full lips endeavoured to sneer, but rage distorted them to a grimace through which his white teeth shone forth ferociously.
"Come, come, we understand each other," said he; "will you walk with me? There is no time like the present and a couple of friends are easy to come by."
"'Tis vastly well," said Lord Verney with an attempt at dignity that betrayed the boy in every line of him. Then all at once colour flushed into his face again, and his rigid demeanour was broken up. "Come, devil take it all, Sir Jasper," said he, "and what is it about?"
Sir Jasper threw bloodshot eyes upwards. ”

“ For fire we have ice; for the red, biting capsicum, the green, cool cucumber; for joyous, foaming Sillery, the smallest ale; small ale—nay, toast and water!" cried Mistress Kitty, lashing herself to finer frenzy. "And if the mere sense of your security thus transforms the lover in you, what a pleasing prospect, indeed, lies before the wedded wife! No, thank you, sir," said the lady, and pushed the petrified O'Hara with an angry foot, "I have had one wintry, toast-and-water husband, and that shall be enough for my lifetime. ”

“ I fear damnation waits thee, for 'tis incurable. What! in God's name cannot a man lose a throw in the game of happiness and yet laugh? Cannot a husbandman detect a poacher on his land and yet laugh as he sets the gin? Why," cried Mr. Stafford, warming to his thesis, and clambering lightly out of the window to seat himself on the outer sill, "strike me ugly! shall not a gentleman be ever ready to meet his fate with a smile? I vow I've never yet seen Death's head grin at me, but I've given him the grin back—split me!"
"Hark—hark!" cried Sir Jasper, pricking his strained ear, "d'ye hear?" ”

“ Put up your money, Kitty; I'll not consent to be paid for carrying you off, except," said he, "by your sweet lips."
"Now listen, sir," she cried, lifting up her finger, "you're a poor man."
"I am that," said he.
"And I," said she, "am a rich woman."
"Oh!" cried he, "Kitty, my darling, and sure that's the last thing in the world I'd ever be thinking of now. When I laid my heart at your feet, my dear, 'twas for your own sweet sake, with never a thought of the lucre. What's money to me," said he, snapping his fingers, "not that, Kitty darling! I despise it. ”

“ Lady Standish lifted the hanging lace of her sleeve with one hand and examined it minutely.
"I would rather," she said, and her voice shook, "I would rather you did not question me, Sir Jasper." Then she flashed upon him in anger, swift and lovely, as he had never seen her flash before. "You go your own way free enough," she said. "These last three weeks you have not spent one evening in my company, and half your days are given to others of whom I know nothing, Oh, I am not complaining, sir! ”

“ Gad, Sir Jasper is a devil of a shot I hear, and of course, he, he! we all know the saying—the strength of a madman. But no sooner has he laid you, Harry, than I vow, upon my honour, I shall hold him at my sword's point. I will revenge thee, Harry, never fear of that. 'Twill be a mighty genteel story, and the world will ring with it. ”

“ But here Sir Jasper escaped from his friend's control. "I'll not stand it," cried he. "'Tis more than flesh and blood can endure. Give her up to me, sir. How dare you hold her?" He fell upon O'Hara in the rear and seized him, throttling, round the neck.
"I'll dare you in a minute, ye mad divil!" yelled O'Hara, in a fury no whit less violent than that of his assailant. Thus cried he, then choked.
In the scuffle they had reached the parlour.
"Oh, Jasper, Jasper, in the name of decency!" protested Stafford, vainly endeavouring to pluck the baronet from the Irishman's back. ”

“ Then there's Champagne for you: there's exhilaration in Champagne, 'tis the real tipple for a gentleman when he's alone—in a tête-à-tête—but 'tis not the wine for great company. Now, my dear friends," said O'Hara, stirring his new brew with the touch of a past master, "if you want to know a wine that combines the fire of the Madeira with the elegance of the Claret, the power and mellowness of the Port with the exhilaration of the Champagne—there's nothing in the world can compare to a fine screeching bowl of Brandy Punch!" ”