Agnes Giberne

“ When Dorothea first came to Craye, she liked Mervyn, and she knew that she could like him very much more. The potential had now become the positive. Dorothea not only liked him very much more, but she felt that for her, he stood alone as the man who was unlike all other men. This means something far beyond mere liking; yet for Dolly's sake Dorothea strove hard to hide what she felt, to treat him as a mere acquaintance. ”

“ What are you thinking of?" exclaimed the dismayed Margot. "Fancy Dolly's position, if it came to Edred's ears. Dear old Issy, don't you see—you only have to let things alone? If ever you had had a love affair yourself—"
"Which happily I never had!" asserted Isabel, as if congratulating herself on escape from an epidemic.
"No, I know; but if you had, you would understand. Issy dear, do pray make up your mind not to breathe a word to anybody. Things will settle themselves one way or another. All we have to do is not to interfere. ”

“ Stirring was manifestly uneasy, counting herself in some sort responsible. She looked upon this motherless young lady as a charge upon her conscience,—otherwise, as one of the many burdens in her life. Mrs. Stirring was a person who professed to carry a great many burdens. She always had been, and always would be, laden with cares; not so much because she had really more cares than other people, as because she had less pluck and endurance for the bearing of them. Where Dorothea would have looked up and smiled, Mrs. Stirring looked down and sighed. ”

“ Dorothea said in her soft, quiet voice.
"The kindness was all the other way, my dear Miss Tracy. I assure you, I have been telling my friends about it,—telling them they must welcome you as a heroine. I can never thank you enough, but I shall never forget! We must always be friends. Now you will let me introduce you. Of course introductions are not the fashion; but sometimes, you know—" apologised Mrs. Effingham, who never could resist naming everybody to everybody. "And we are all friends here, or, at least, I am sure we shall be. This is Miss Henniker, a very old friend of mine. ”

“ She would have to go back to her solitude and friendlessness. She could almost have echoed the words of Dolly Erskine, written not long before: "It does seem sometimes as if life were made up of disappointments."
Almost—not quite. Dorothea Tracy, with far less of outward brightness in her life than Dorothea Erskine, was far more disposed to look upon what brightness she had, and to turn her back upon the shadows. Also she had a more real and vivid belief in the Overshadowing Love which arranged every step of the path she had to tread,—even the disappointing steps. ”

“ The angelic message of "Peace and good-will" had been to all of them alike.
"If only I could do something for somebody—not live for myself alone," was the next thought.
Then just across the aisle she saw a little old lady in mourning, distressfully fumbling for something which she could not find. Dorothea's quick glance detected a pair of glasses lying on the floor. In a moment she had stepped out of her place, picked up the glasses, and given them to their owner.
"Thanks," came in a whisper of relief, with a very sweet smile. ”

“ Edred said, with a rather melancholy smile. "We have got into an odd personal talk, Miss Tracy. I don't often indulge in remarks about myself; but since we are on the subject, I do not mind saying that I am conscious of a certain want. Too grave a manner is taken for moodiness by some people, and perhaps it repels them, when a little more of sunshine—a manner mere like Mervyn's—would attract."
Dorothea had never liked Edred so well, even while she began to fear that she had spoken too freely. ”

“ The manner of life which might suit the tastes of a retired veteran was not precisely fitted for a young girl. This as yet did not cause the Colonel concern; if indeed it occurred to him. He expected to go on as he had done hitherto, with merely the little addition of a silent and useful daughter. He expected Dorothea to conform unquestionably to his will.
She had come "home," as she called it—or rather, as she had called it beforehand—full of young hopes and dreams. At eighteen, one is apt to see future life through rosy spectacles. ”

“ Dorothea walked after her into the bedroom, and waited.
Isabel carefully closed the door, and then fidgeted to the fireplace.
"Dolly seems so depressed just now, doesn't she! Has she not seemed so to you?"
"Yes; I wish she did not. But perhaps in a few days she will be better."
"She is getting over the fall. It is not only that now: at least, I believe not. I am speaking privately—I mean I shouldn't like what I say repeated to anybody—but—but—" blundered Isabel, "you see, we seem to know you pretty well now. And you have seen a great deal of the Claughtons." ”

“ But I know Scotland, and I don't know Craye. I am more interested in Craye," said Dorothea. "You know I have seen your sister once, and your brother more than once. He is so like you."
"Mervyn! We are opposites."
"In character, are you? But not in face."
The frank simplicity of Dorothea's manner was taking effect. Mr. Claughton glanced up with more of attention than he had vouchsafed hitherto.
"Likeness is surely a matter of expression, at least, as much as of feature. However, one cannot be a judge of oneself." ”

“ Little conversation had passed between the elderly lady and the young girl; and each was conscious of disappointment.
"But we will meet again, my dear," Mrs. Effingham murmured, answering Dorothea's unspoken thought as they shook hands. "I don't quite know how long I may be absent, or whether I shall run up to town for a month in the spring. London never suits me for any length of time. But when I do return, I shall send for you. We will not forget one another meantime!" ”

“ Stirring knew how to cook—but I have such a sense of emptiness. I feel quite ill for want of food. It is a most distressing sensation."
"He means that he is getting hungry again," thought Dorothea. "That is a good thing."
But she knew that she must not venture to congratulate him.
"I dare say it will go off in a day or two, father," she suggested. "The doctor says you are really pulled down."
"Really pulled down!" The Colonel quite forgot to speak in a piping voice. "That man is a perfect ignoramus. He knows no more than an old woman. I have about as much strength as an infant." ”

“ He piqued himself upon his intimate acquaintance with household details. He needed neither advice nor help. Dorothea was a mere adjunct in his existence thus far, less important than the said fish, less necessary than the said vegetables. She felt like a stranded boat, cast upon a mudbank, out of reach of the tide of life which surged and roared around. This, in a London street, where cabs and hansoms dashed past, where the sound of the great human Babel never ceased.
* * * * * *
Christmas morning dawned. ”

“ Forget what I said just now," and his voice showed agitation. "Forget everything, except that she—that no one in the world can ever be to me what Dolly is."
"I thought so," murmured Dorothea. "But why—?"
"Why do I not seek her? What is the use? Cannot you see for yourself. Have I a grain of hope to work upon?"
Dorothea could not say that he had. She could only say,—"If I were a man, I would not give in so easily."
"If you were a man, I suppose you would do as a man does," he observed drily. "I don't know what has made me say so much to you, Miss Tracy. ”

“ I never had an idea before how easily one can slip and slide into a sort of small slavery to one's body, if once one relaxes guard! You won't believe it, perhaps, but I was getting quite lazy—always lounging about in easy-chairs, and lying in bed too late in the morning, and indulging myself in story reading when I ought to have been doing some other thing, and fancying myself tired when I only wanted rousing, and even getting fanciful and fussy about food—which you know was an old trouble, but I really did think I had quite got over it. ”

“ Men don't like to be outdone by a girl. But it was not your fault."
"No."
"And the old lady was not hurt?"
"No."
"She was infinitely grateful," said Mervyn. "Em and I called upon her one day, and found her in a state of gush. Miss Tracy was there also; so we had an opportunity to inspect the heroine."
"Did she bear her honours meekly?" asked Dolly, in an odd constrained voice.
"She didn't seem aware of their existence. Em acted the icicle as usual, and Miss Tracy studied her—rather amused, I thought. She has a piquant way of looking at one through her glasses; unlike the rest of the world. ”

“ It really is delightful all round," declared Isabel to Margot, dallying in her room late that night. "I always knew the Claughtons would be charmed. Emmeline is hard to please, but she really does take to Dorothea. And as for Colonel Tracy, I believe he wants nothing more than to get her off his hands."
"Now, Issy!"
"You know what I mean. He is an odd man, and he can't help it, I suppose. But I am sure Dolly and Dorothea look the picture of happiness. I believe Dorothea will be the making of Mervyn. He is a nice fellow, though Emmeline underrates him to such an extent. ”

“ Whatever pain might be involved to herself in the resolution, she was utterly determined not to stand in the way of Dolly's happiness. If Dolly cared for Mervyn Claughton, the less Dorothea had to do with him, the better. She was not without a certain consciousness of power over him; and a young man hovering between two girls is often easily swayed by a touch either way. ”

“ Stirring was injured.
"Dear me! No! My Minnie don't go to Church without she's dressed suitable. I couldn't get her ready under twenty minutes. She's in her oldest frock, and not a tucker to it; and I wouldn't have her go without—not for nothing. And them curls do take a lot of time. Not as I grudge it, if it's a duty."
"A duty! But what do curls and tuckers matter?" cried Dorothea. "What does it matter how she is dressed, if only she is there? We don't go to Church to show off our best dresses. At least, I hope not. Let me have Minnie as she is, only with her hair smooth. ”

“ If Issy—dear dull Issy!—had begun to notice, surely other people must have begun too; and if that were so, she must have shown too plainly something of what she felt. So it was quite time to put people off the scent. That anybody should think she cared particularly for Edred, when Edred had shown no signs of caring particularly for her, was too dreadful! Dolly had come to the Park this afternoon, with a resolute determination to meet Edred and behave towards him exactly as she would meet and behave towards the merest acquaintance. ”

“ Quite a gratification."
"But imprudent of Margot," chimed in Mrs. Claughton. "I heard this morning how unwell you were. How do you do, Dolly. Margot is looking very pale. I wonder Isabel allowed her to venture."
"Isabel isn't a household tyrant," said Dolly.
"Margot ought to be old enough to judge for herself, you mean. But some people never are old enough. Some people never learn prudence. I am afraid Margot is one of them. Emmeline—imagine Margot coming to-day." ”