Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey

“ Mr Bertrand smiled to himself as he stroked the girl’s soft hair. Small fear that he or anyone else would cease caring for lovely, lovable Lettice; but all the same, his smile was more sad than bright.
“I shall always love you, dear,” he said; “but, Lettice, try to think less of people’s love for you, and more of your own love for them. That is the secret of happiness! This constant craving to receive love is not far removed from selfishness, when you go down to the root of things. ”

“ The moment that she left her bedroom Hilary began to grumble, and she grumbled steadily the whole day long. Everything that Lettice had done during her absence was wrong; the servants were careless and inefficient; the drawing-room—Norah’s special charge—looked as if no one had touched it for a fortnight; the house was dingy and badly lighted, and each arrangement worse than the last. Lettice hated quarrelling so much that she was prepared to bear a good deal before getting angry, but quick-tempered Norah exploded into a burst of irritation before the afternoon was half over. ”

“ Hilary was one of the fortunate people who seemed to have been born tidy, and to have kept so ever since. The wind which played havoc with Norah’s locks never dared to take liberties with her glossy coils; the nails which tore holes in other people’s garments politely refrained from touching hers; and she could walk through the muddiest streets and come home without a speck upon boots or skirt.
Mr Rayner leant on his crutches and watched her active movements with the wistful glance which was so often seen upon his face. ”

“ When the night arrived, however, it was impossible to keep as calm as she would have liked, as she arrayed herself in her dainty new frock before dinner. Miss Carr’s choice had been eminently successful. A plain white satin dress with an overskirt of chiffon, which gave an effect of misty lightness, a wreath of snowdrops among the puffings at the neck, and long ends of ribbon hanging from the waist. Hilary looked very sweet and fresh as she walked into the drawing-room, with a flush of self-conscious pleasure on her cheeks, and her father gave a start of surprise as he saw her. ”

“ Could it be that they all felt the same, and were condemning her in their hearts as a stupid, consequential little girl, who had no importance whatever except in her own estimation? And—“a hindrance!” The word brought with it a throb of something deeper than wounded pride, for, with all her faults, Hilary was devoted to her father and her brothers and sisters, and the thought stung like a whip that they might not care for her—that the time could come when they might even wish for her absence! ”

“ Norah, speak! What are you thinking about?” He had to bend forward to hear the answer, for Norah’s lips were dry, and her throat parched as with thirst.
“Poor father!” she gasped; and Rex started at the sound with a stab of pain.
“Don’t! I can’t bear it. Norah, for pity’s sake don’t give in—don’t give up hope. Something will happen—it will—it must! We shall get out all right.”
“But if we can’t go forward, and if we can’t go back, and if no one can hear us call,” said Norah, still in the same slow, gasping accents, “I don’t see—how—we can. ... Rex! ”

“ Be brave! Remember I rely on your help!”
“Yes, father,” said Hilary tremblingly; and the next moment Mary entered the room, her rosy face awed and frightened, her ready tongue silenced by the seriousness of the situation.
That breakfast seemed like a hideous nightmare to Hilary. Every moment brought a fresh pang of recollection. In every direction in which her eyes glanced, they lighted upon some object which accentuated her misery—the long dress box, in which the bridesmaids’ finery lay ready for use; the pile of letters on the table; the hundred and one etceteras of preparation. ”

“ I do believe I could be one of the best players in the world if I had the chance. I feel it in me! It is aggravating to know that I make mistakes from want of proper lessons, but it is glorious to feel such power over an instrument as I do when I am properly worked up! I would not change places with any girl who is not musical!”
Lettice said nothing, but she lifted her eyes to the oval mirror which hung above the mantelpiece, and in her heart she thought, “And I am glad that I am so pretty. If one is pretty, everyone is polite and attentive; and I do like people to be kind, and make a fuss! ”

“ Mr Bertrand shrugged his shoulders and affected to be horrified at the idea of having to take out a grown-up daughter. “It makes a man feel so old,” he said, “and I know quite well I shall forget all about her when I begin talking to my old friends! However, I’ll do my best. See that the child has something decent to wear, like a good soul. I’m not so short of money now as in the days when you used to send hampers to my rooms in Oxford, and I should like her to look well. She is not a beauty like Lettice, but she is a nice-looking little girl in her way, isn’t she, Helen?” ”

“ Eleven o’clock? Thank you! Pray pardon any distress I may have caused you, and think of me as indulgently as you can.”
He left the room, and Miss Carr raised both hands to her head with a gesture of despair.
“He is all that he should be—humble, devoted, deferential—but oh, Lettice! my poor, dear child, what a mistake you have made! You would eat your heart out in a year’s time, married to a man whom you do not love; and you don’t love Arthur Newcome, I know you don’t—it is all vanity, and weakness, and imagination. Poor Austin, what a welcome for him! ”

“ Norah looked at him and saw a young fellow who looked much older and more formidable than he had done in his unconsciousness the night before, for his grey eyes had curious, dilating pupils, and a faint mark on the upper lip showed where the moustache of the future was to be. The stranger looked at Norah, and saw a tall, slim girl, with masses of dark hair falling down her back, heavily marked eyebrows, and a bright, sharply cut little face, which was very attractive, if it could not strictly be called pretty. ”

“ New Year’s Day.
“I wish something would happen!” sighed Norah.
“If it were something nice,” corrected Lettice. “Lots of things happen every day, but they are mostly disagreeable. Getting up, for instance, in the cold, dark mornings—and practising—and housework, and getting ready for stupid old classes—I don’t complain of having too little to do. I want to do less, and to be able to amuse myself more.”
“We want a change, that is the truth,” said Hilary, bending forward on her seat, and sending the poker into the heart of the fire with a vigorous shove. ”

“ I’ve come to apply for the place,” said Rex gravely; then suddenly picking up his skirts, displayed his trousered legs underneath, and executed a wild schottische round the hall.
Mary gave a shriek, put her hand to her heart, and sank down on the stairs, brushes and all, in a breathless heap. “Oh, Mr Rex, oh! I never in all my life! Oh, what a turn you gave me! Oh! oh! oh!” And she gasped and panted till Norah became alarmed, and went up to pat her on the shoulder.
“Don’t, Mary, don’t! Oh, Mary, I wish it was all fun. ”

“ Lettice was lying down upstairs, but all the rest of the household were gathered together, the visitors provided with chairs in honour of their position, Norah seated on the stairs, Raymond straddle-leg over the banister, Mr Bertrand and Geraldine lowly on buffets, while Hilary was perched on the top of a huge packing chest, enveloped in a pink “pinafore,” and looking all the prettier because her brown hair was ruffled a little out of its usual immaculate order.
“I wish we could have tea like this every day!” cried the Mouse, drawing a long breath of enjoyment. ”

“ I love every one of you—dearly—dearly! But you—” Mr Bertrand’s voice broke off with an uncontrollable tremble—“you know there are special reasons why you are dear to me, Lettice. When I look at you I seem to see your mother again as I met her first. Why do you ask such a question? You surely know that I love you, without being told?”
“But I like being told,” said Lettice plaintively. “I like people to say nice things, and to be loving and demonstrative. Hilary laughs at me if I am affectionate, and the boys tease. Sometimes I feel so lonely!” ”

“ London is a fascinating place. It is the centre of the world—it is the world; you will find many compensations.”
“I shall see a great deal of Mr Rayner. I’m sure she will choose me. It’s only fair. I’m the eldest, and she knows me best,” thought Hilary to herself.
“I should go to the Royal College of Music, learn from the best masters, and play at the concerts,” thought Norah. “I wonder if it would stop Edna’s lessons! I should feel mean if it did that, and I do enjoy going over every fortnight and having fun at the Manor!” ”

“ Norah spoke with all the greater emphasis because, for the moment, she had been guilty of an actual pang of envy of her beloved Lettice, for she regarded the “strange boy” as her special friend, by virtue of having been the first to make his acquaintance, and it was not agreeable to find her own claims to popularity brushed aside in this unceremonious fashion. “Lettice is a darling, and everyone likes her, because she is sweet-tempered, and never says unkind things to make other people miserable,” she added, not without the hope that Mr Rex would take the hint to himself. ”

“ Mr Bertrand looked at his two daughters—at Hilary, bright and natty, but with shadows under her eyes which spoke of the fatigue she would not acknowledge; then, with an anxious tenderness at Norah, whose unusual quietness for the last few days he understood better than she suspected.
“Really,” he said, “if all the world is going off pleasuring, I don’t see any reason why we should be left behind! What do you say, girls—shall we go off for a tour on our own account? I think we deserve a holiday after our hard work and a run on the Continent would do us all good. Helen, what do you say? ”

“ No, my dear, there is no need to blush. If you had a talent for music, like Norah, you would not think it necessary to be embarrassed every time it was mentioned, and beauty is a gift from God, just as much as anything else, and ought to be valued accordingly. It is a great power in the world—perhaps a greater power than anything else, and the people who possess it have much responsibility. You are a beautiful girl, Lettice; you will be a beautiful woman; everyone you meet will be attracted to you, and you will have an ‘Open Sesame’ into their hearts. ”

“ Her face was pale and serious; she looked older and more womanlike; but there was a steady light of happiness in her eyes which told its own tale.
“Well, Hilary,” he asked gravely, “and what is it to be?”
“There is no doubt about that, father! It is to be as he wants—now and always!”
“I thought as much. But you must realise what you are doing, dear. When most girls are married they look forward to having a strong man’s arm between them and the world; they expect to be shielded from trouble; but if you marry Rayner, this will not be your lot. ”

“ Lettice and Norah had a little conversation on the stairs as they went upstairs to change their dresses for dinner.
“It’s very nice for Hilary, this going up to London; but it doesn’t do us any good. When is something going to happen for us?”
“I suppose we shall have to wait for our turn,” sighed Lettice dolefully; but that very same evening an unexpected excitement took place in the quiet household, and though the Mouse’s prophecy was fulfilled, inasmuch as it could hardly be called an incident of a cheerful nature, it was yet fated to lead to great and far-reaching results. ”

“ In the morning they were busy with their household duties; but, as regular lessons had not begun, afternoon was a free time, and while Norah drew, Lettice carved, and Hilary occupied herself manufacturing fineries for the London visit, a brisk clatter of tongues was kept up, in which the invalid took his full part. The sound of five-finger exercises would come from the schoolroom overhead, but so soon as four o’clock struck, the Mouse would steal in, in her little white pinafore, and creep on to the corner of the sofa. ”

“ Norah held her left hand high in the air, and began checking off the fingers with ostentatious emphasis. “I resolve always to get up in the morning as soon as I am called, and without a single grumble; always to be amiable when annoyed; always to do what other people like, and what I dislike myself; always to be good-tempered with the boys, and smile upon them when they pull my hair and play tricks with my things; always be cheerful, contented, ladylike in deportment, and agreeable in manner. ”

“ Norah saw his eyes brighten, and the deep lines down his cheeks relax into a smile, and knew that her suggestion had met a kindly welcome, “Well, there’s no saying! If all the young people go away and leave us, we shall be bound to make a move in self-defence. You are off to London for the winter. It seems a year of changes—”
“Oh, it is, it is, and I am so miserable! Lettice—my own, dear Lettice—is going to be married, and she will never come back to live with us any more. I have been looking forward to London, just to be with her, and now it is further off than ever. It will never come!” ”

“ Dear me!” said Miss Carr, bestowing a hasty glance at Norah, and staring hard at Lettice over the edge of her cup. “I remember them all in long clothes, but I shall make a point of forgetting them soon if they go on growing up like this. There is a limit to everything—even to the memory of an old woman like myself. The boys are at school, I suppose? But the little one—my baby—Geraldine?” ”

“ Things have gone on smoothly and quietly while you were away—more smoothly than when you are at home, my dear, for though Lettice is not such a good manager, she has a sweet, amiable manner which makes the servants anxious to please her by doing their best. You are very young, Hilary, and you make the mistake of over-estimating your own importance, and of thinking you are necessary to the welfare of the household. You can easily make yourself so, if you wish, for you are a very clever housekeeper ”

“ The future seemed dreary indeed, with Rex abroad, Lettice appropriated by Arthur Newcome, and Edna at the other end of England. She had hard work not to cry outright, to the great distress of the Squire, who was the kindliest of men, despite his red face and stentorian voice.
“Ha, humph—humph! Sorry, I’m sure. Very sorry! Come, come, my dear, cheer up! Things may turn out better than we expect. I didn’t know you had a trouble of your own, or I would not have intruded mine. Shall we go up to the house? There, take my arm. What a great, big girl you are, to be sure!” ”

“ Mr Rex laughed, and gave the horse a flick with the whip, which sent him spinning round the corner at break-neck speed. Norah understood that he was proud of his driving, and wished to impress her with the fact that it was very unlike a schoolboy performance. She pressed her lips together to stifle an exclamation of dismay at his recklessness, and her silence pleased Rex, who liked to see “a girl with some courage,” so that presently he began to talk in quite a confidential strain. ”

“ Hilary handed the last cup to its owner, and opening the envelope, ran her eye rapidly down the sheet. The next moment a loud “Oh!” of amazement startled the hearers into eager curiosity.
“What is the matter?”
“Oh—oh! It can’t be true—it can’t! Lettice is engaged to be married!”
“Engaged!” A moment’s breathless silence was succeeded by a very babel of questioning.
“Engaged?” “Who to?” “When?” “Where.” “What does she say?” “Oh, read it aloud. Let us hear every word she says!”
But Hilary folded up the sheet with an air of determination. “Not yet. I’ll read it by-and-by; but first you must guess. ”

“ So Mr Rayner agreed with her in believing that Miss Carr’s choice was practically certain. The prospect of living in London grew more and more attractive as the various advantages suggested themselves, and she was roll of delicious anticipations.
“Oh, I will,” she said merrily. “I am glad that I did not know you before you were ill, because I see no difference now, and I can do it more easily. I think I am like the Mouse; I like you better for being different from other people. She spent a whole morning searching for twigs in the garden, and now all her dolls are supplied with crutches.” ”

“ A girlish figure, with a dark head set gracefully upon a slender neck, a dainty dress, all cloudy chiffon, satiny ribbons, and nodding snowdrops, and beneath—oh, good gracious!—beneath the soft frilled edgings, a pair of enormous, shapeless, scarlet worsted bed slippers! It would be difficult to say which was the more scarlet at that moment—the slippers themselves or Hilary’s cheeks. ”