Rosa Nouchette Carey

“ A bond of sympathy seemed to unite her with all those who were in sorrow; so many were unhappy, so many had lost their nearest and dearest. Oh, how she longed to comfort them all!
Bessie was not one to speak of her feelings; the best of her life was out of sight. Only once she said to Christine, as they were walking home from church in the starlight:
“People are very proud when their relatives achieve any worldly honor or attain to any rank, yet no one seems to feel an added dignity when any dear one has finished his or her earthly conflict most gloriously, and has won a heavenly crown. ”

“ What I want to tell you is this—that you must not be so impatient; you waste all your strength in saying hard things about yourself, instead of fighting your faults. Why don’t you say to yourself, ‘I am a poor, weak little creature, but my Creator knows that too, and he bears with me. I cannot rid myself of my tiresome nature; it sticks to me like a Nessus shirt‘—you know the old mythological story, Hatty—‘but it is my cross, a horrid spiky one, so I will carry it as patiently as I can. ”

“ She is always thinking of other people; what she can do to lighten their burdens; and little things give her so much pleasure. She says the first violet she picks in the hedgerow, or the sight of a pair of thrushes building their nest in the acacia tree, makes her feel as happy as a child; ‘for in spring,’ she said once, ‘all the world is full of young life, and the buds are bursting into flowers, and they remind me that one day I shall be young and beautiful too.’”
“I think I should like to go and stay with Aunt Charlotte,” observed Hatty, “if you think she would care to have me.” ”

“ Lambert sighed, she could not conscientiously own that she was well. But when she was alone with her husband, she spoke to him about Bessie’s looks.
“She is not like the same girl,” she said sadly. “She feels darling Hatty’s loss more than the others. What does it matter about me, Herbert? A mother must think of her children before herself.”
“Perhaps so,” he replied rather dryly, “but it is my duty to think first of you, my dear Dora. We both love our children, and would willingly do our best for them. I am not blind to Bessie’s looks; but she is really strong, and her health will not suffer.” ”

“ Men like myself prefer to be at the heart of things—to live close to the centre of activity. London is the nucleus of England; not only the seat of government, but the focus of intellect, of art, of culture, of all that makes life worth living; and please do not put me down as a cockney, Miss Lambert, if I confess that I love these crowded streets. I am a lawyer, you know, and human nature is my study.”
“I quite understand you,” returned Bessie, with the bright intelligence that was natural to her. She was beginning to think Edna a fortunate girl. ”

“ Bessie was sitting at the window thinking of Hatty when Edna entered, looking like a young princess to her dazzled eyes. The old gown proved to be a delicate blue silk, and was trimmed in a costly fashion, and she wore at her throat a locket with a diamond star. As she came sweeping into the room, with her long train and fair coronet of hair, she looked so graceful and so handsome that Bessie uttered an admiring exclamation.
“Oh, don’t look at me!” observed Edna rather pettishly. “I have told Brandon I really must discard this gown; it is getting too bad even for quiet evenings.” ”

“ The journey seemed endless to Bessie, but she restrained her painful restlessness for Tom’s sake. Tom was very kind after his own fashion; he got her some tea at Paddington, and was very attentive to her comfort, and every now and then he gave utterance to a few remarks, bidding her keep up her heart like a brave little woman.
“‘While there is life there is hope,’ you know, Bessie,” he said. “I think my father takes too dark a view of the case; but then, you see, Hatty is his own child. I don’t believe she is as bad as all that; depend upon it, she will take a good turn yet.” ”

“ Do you sleep well, Bessie?”
“Yes, always; trouble never keeps me awake. I always think of Hatty when I lie down, and wonder what she is doing, and what the angels are teaching her, but I fall asleep in the middle of a thought, and it is morning before I wake.”
“Oh, you have a good conscience,” replied Edna bitterly; “you have no remorseful thoughts to goad you into wakefulness. If one could only have one’s life over again, Bessie? ”

“ And as for Neville, as I told you, we have not an idea in common. I think perfect agreement must be rather monotonous and deadening. I am sure if Neville were to say to me, ‘My dear Edna, you are always right, and I agree with you in everything,’ I should be ready to box his ears. It is much more amusing to quarrel half a dozen times a day, and make it up again. Oh, I do dearly love to provoke Neville; he looks so deliciously bored and grave.”
Bessie was at a loss how to answer this extraordinary statement, but Edna gave her no time to collect her ideas. ”

“ As Bessie was unpacking, she heard a faint scratching at her door, and on opening it found, to her great surprise, Mac, the deerhound, sitting on his haunches, with a very pleading look in his beautiful brown eyes.
“You may come in if you like, old fellow,” she said, wondering at his sudden friendship for a stranger; and, sure enough, the hound walked in and stretched himself under the writing-table, with his nose between his paws, quietly observant of every movement. ”

“ We can’t make ourselves good, Hatty; that lies in different hands. But why don’t you look on your unhappy nature as your appointed cross, and just bear with yourself as much as you expect others to bear with you? Why not exercise the same patience as you expect to be shown to you?”
“I hardly understand you, Bessie. I ought to hate myself for my ill-temper and selfishness, ought I not?” ”

“ You have not enjoyed yourself a bit. Bessie. I am so sorry!”
“Oh, never mind.” returned Bessie wearily, and then they had both been silent. Neither was in the mood to enjoy the delicious freshness of the evening; that clear shining after the rain that is so indescribable, the wet, gleaming hedges, the little sparkling pools, the vivid green of the meadows; for Edna was feeling the reaction after her excitement; and Bessie, tired out with conflicting feelings was thinking regretfully of her unsatisfactory conversation with Captain Broughton. ”

“ I wanted to save you an hour’s unpleasantness, but I see you prefer to make yourself miserable.”
“I think I do in the present instance,” returned Bessie quietly.
“Very well, have your own way; but if you take my advice, you will not waste your pity upon Edna. She is flinging away her happiness with her eyes open, just to gratify her temper. You see I can speak plainly, Miss Lambert, and call things by their right names. Just out of pride and self-will, she is bidding good-bye to one of the best fellows living, and all the time she knows that he is a good fellow. ”

“ Listen to me, mother, dear,” as Mrs. Lambert sighed and shook her head. “Miss Sefton has been here, so she knows we are not rich people, and she will not expect to see many smart dresses. I don’t want to pretend to be what I am not. We cannot afford to dress grandly, nor to have many new frocks, but I am sure we are just as happy without them.”
“Yes; but you never have stayed with rich people before, Bessie,” returned her mother sadly. “You do not know how shabby your old things will look beside other people’s silks and satins. ”

“ Of all things Hatty loved to be of use to any one. In another moment she had dried her eyes and set to work, her miserable little face grew cheerful, and Tom’s sneering speeches were forgotten.
“Why, I do believe that is Hatty laughing!” exclaimed Christine, as the dinner-bell sounded, and she passed the door with her mother. “It is splendid, the way Bessie manages Hatty. I wish some of us could learn the art, for all this wrangling with Tom is so tiresome.”
“Bessie never loses patience with her,” returned her mother; “never lets her feel that she is a trouble. ”

“ Sefton was most kind and considerate, only her graciousness seemed to crush me. She is very handsome, far handsomer than her daughter, slightly stout, but such a grand looking figure; Miss Sefton and I look like pygmies beside her; but there is one thing that strikes me about her—a sort of hardness when she is not speaking. I never saw a mouth closed so tightly; and then there is no rest in her face. I could not help thinking about father’s story as I looked at her; it is not the face of a happy woman. I can imagine that disappointment in her husband has hardened her. I admire her very much ”

“ Bessie’s words to Edna had been strangely prophetical—“Trouble may come to me one day;” it had come already, in its most crushing form. The bond of sisterhood is very strong; it has peculiar and precious privileges, apart from other relationships; a sort of twinship of sympathy unites many sisters who have grown up together. Their thoughts and interests are seldom apart. All their little pleasures, their minor griefs, youthful hopes, disappointments, are shared with each other. They move together through the opening years of their life. ”

“ But in her heart Bessie said: “It is all very well to preach patience, and I for one am always preaching it to Hatty, but it is not so easy to practice it. Mother and Christine are always praising me for being so good tempered; but if one feels strong and well, and has a healthy appetite and good digestion, it is very easy to keep from being cross; but in other ways I am not half so good as Hatty; she is the purest, humblest little soul breathing.”
In spite of late hours, Bessie was downstairs the next morning at her usual time; she always presided at the breakfast-table. ”

“ The Lord Jesus is always able and willing to help all who penitently and trustfully look to Him for pardon. There are no depths of human suffering deep enough to hide us from His tender sympathy and forgiving love.”
“Oh, but I am not religious, Bessie. I am not good, like you.”
“Please don’t talk so, Edna; it only pains me to hear you. Let me tell you how I think I should try to feel in your place. I would try to bear my trouble bravely, knowing that it had come through my own fault. If we do wrong, we must surely take our punishment. ”

“ I am young and strong enough to find life beautiful. Don’t be cowardly, Hatty; you want to drop behind in the march, before many a gray-haired old veteran. That is because you are weak and tired, and you fear the long journey; but you forget,” and here Bessie dropped her voice reverently, “that we don’t journey alone, any more than the children of Israel did in the wilderness. We also have our pillar of cloud to lead us by day, and our pillar of fire by night to give us light. ”

“ Bessie’s gravely disapproving look brought a mocking little smile to the other girl’s face; her quick comprehension evidently detected the rebuke, but she only answered flippantly:
“Mamma is too much used to my disobedience to give it a thought; she knows I will have my way in things, and she never minds; she is sensible enough to know grown-up girls generally have wills of their own.” ”

“ The old accept their sorrows more meekly; their reason comes to their aid. “Man is born to trouble,” they say, and the philosophy enables them to endure at least with some show of dignity.
“Yes, she is young; perhaps she may be consoled,” replied Mrs. Sefton, with another sigh; and then the carriage stopped. “Our rooms are on the first floor,” observed Mrs. Sefton, as they stood in the large, brilliantly lighted hall, and she conducted Bessie up the staircase and down a narrow corridor, and then into a long, well-furnished drawing-room, where they found Edna. ”

“ My little blessing, I think you were born to be a peacemaker. It was you who softened my mother’s heart; before you came in she was so hard, and said such bitter things, and then I lost my temper, and——”
“Do not go back to that,” she said quietly. “Your mother was taken by surprise. She said herself that she spoke hastily. Let us give her time. She cannot alter her nature all at once. You have been very patient a long time, Richard; be patient still for my sake.”
“There is nothing I would not do for your sake,” he replied; and Bessie was pleased to see him smile. ”

“ I know too little about the world to guess how a man acts under such circumstances; but if you care for him really—if indeed he stands so high in your estimation as a good man whom you have misunderstood and wronged, then, even if you lead your lives apart, you may still try to live nobly that he may think of you with respect. You may still let the influence of this trial guide you to a higher and better life. Would not this make things more bearable?”
Bessie’s words, spoken with intense earnestness, seemed to stir Edna’s mind, rousing it from its bitter apathy of hopeless remorse and grief ”

“ Nature holds a store of comfort for those who love and seek her—she has all sorts of balmy messages to give them; a thousand mellow influences steal upon the jaded consciousness; hope is written legibly in the blue sky, the clear air, the sunshine; every flower, every leaf is a token of love; the birds sing, and, in spite of ourselves, our hearts grow lighter. [309]
“It must have been my fancy,” thought Bessie; “I hope I am not growing self-conscious;” and then she gave a little start of surprise, for surely she knew that brown tweed coat, and there was Richard coming to meet her ”