Amelia E. Barr

“ So Elizabeth went to sleep full of pleasant hopes and aims. It had always been her intention to pay every penny that Antony Hallam owed; and she felt a strange sense of delight and freedom in the knowledge that the duty had begun. Fortunately, she had in this sense of performed duty all the reward she asked or expected, for if it had not satisfied her, she would have surely been grieved and disappointed with the way the information was generally received. No one is ever surprised at a bad action, but a good one makes human nature at once look for a bad motive for it. ”

“ Richard is too much astonished at his own happiness to speak of it to-night. But when one loves, one understands naturally. It has made me very happy. Why, Elizabeth, you are weeping!”
“I am strangely sorrowful, Phyllis. A shadow which I cannot account for chills me. You know that I am neither imaginative nor sentimental; but I am weeping to-night for grief which I apprehend, but which does not exist.”
“Why do that? The ills that never come are just the ills that give us the sorest and most useless sorrow. They are not provided for—no grace is promised for them.” ”

“ The New Orleans Greys and a company of young Southern gentlemen from Mobile had just sailed. Every man’s heart was on fire for this young republic of Texas. Her shield was scarcely one month old, and yet it had been bathed in the blood of a thousand martyrs for freedom, and riddled with the bullets of an alien foe.
John caught fire as spirit catches fire. His blood boiled as he listened, his fingers were handling his weapons. He must see Phyllis and go. That little band of eight hundred Americans gathered round Sam Houston, and defying Santa Anna to enslave them, filled his mind. ”

“ Her eyes were red with weeping, but she said, “Father and Richard have shaken hands, Phyllis; there is to be no ill-will about the disappointment.”
“I am very glad. But is it to be a disappointment—to you, I mean, Elizabeth?”
“I fear so; I must stand by father’s side as regards Hallam. I can wait and love on. But I will not bind Richard. He is free.”
“I am quite sure he is not free. Richard will never be free while there remains a hope of eventually winning you.”
“He says that nothing but my marriage to some other person shall make him lose hope; but men say these things and forget.” ”

“ The first enthusiasms are gone, there is a little weariness in joy, the heart begins to turn to those fundamental affections and those homely ties which are the main reliance of life. It seemed to Phyllis that, for the first time, she was homesick. The low, white, rambling wooden house, spreading itself under moss-covered trees, began to grow very fair in her memory. The mocking-birds were calling her across the sea. She remembered the tangles of the yellow jasmine, the merry darkies chatting and singing and laughing, and her soul turned westward with an indescribable longing. ”

“ They lift their hands and bless God in the night Whilst we are sleeping: Those to whom the King Has measured out a cup of sorrow, sweet With his dear love; yet very hard to drink, Are waking in his temple; and the eyes That cannot sleep for sorrow or for pain Are lifted up to heaven, and sweet low songs Broken by patient tears, arise to God. “The priests must serve Each in his course, and we must stand in turn Awake with sorrow in the temple dim, To bless the Lord by night. We will not fear When we are called at midnight by some stroke Of sudden pain, to rise and minister Before the Lord. ”

“ The voyage across the ocean was delightful; she found young hearts to counsel, and aged ones to change experiences with. Every one desired to talk to her, and counted it a favor to sit or to walk by her side. So beautiful is true piety; so lovely is the soul that comes into daily life fresh from the presence of the Deity.
She had left Texas in May; she arrived at Hallam in June. And how beautiful the dear old place was! But Martha had gone to her reward two years previously, and Elizabeth missed her. She had lived to be eighty-eight years old, and had not so much died as fallen asleep. ”

“ He will be sorry for it. If you care for me, ever so little, you will not fight about me. The shame would kill me. I don’t deserve it. I will never marry a man who drags my name into a quarrel. Richard, for our mother’s sake, be yourself. Brother, you ought to protect me! I appeal to you! For God’s sake, dear Richard, give me that pistol!”
“Phyllis,” said John, “I will go. I will not fight. Your desire is sufficient.”
“Coward! You shall fight me! I will call you coward wherever I meet you.” ”

“ And Richard was silent because he was trying to conquer his resentment at John finding satisfaction in the exquisite picture.
Perhaps few people understand how jealous a true brotherly love can be, How tenderly careful of a sister’s welfare, how watchful of all that pertains to her future happiness, how proud of her beauty and her goodness, how exacting of all pretenders to her favor. His ideal husband for Phyllis was not John Millard. He wondered what she could see to admire in the bronzed frontier soldier. ”

“ Perhaps it is in the want of pity that the real infernal of Satan consists; for whenever he sees us overwhelmed with sorrow, then he casts into our throbbing heart his fiercest weapons. Doubt, anguish, and prostration of hope, worse than death, assailed him. He tried to pray, but felt as if his cries were uttered to an inexorable silence.
As for Richard, he was so mentally stunned that it was not until he had been taken to Phyllis, and she had whispered, “I shall be better soon, Richard,” that a saving reaction could be induced. ”

“ People are very foolish who restrain spiritual confidences; no topic is so universally and permanently interesting as religious experience. Elizabeth felt its charm at once. She loved God, but loved him, as it were, afar off; she almost feared to speak to him. She had never dared to speak of him.
“Do you really think, Phyllis, that angels care about our earthly loves?”
“Yes, I do. Love is the rock upon which our lives are generally built or wrecked. Elizabeth, if I did not believe that the love of God embraced every worthy earthly love, I should be very miserable.” ”

“ To meet her lover, when that lover comes back from the battle-field with the light of victory on his brow, what women will not put on all her beautiful garments? Phyllis’s dark eyes held a wonderfully tender light, and the soft, rich pallor of her complexion took just the shadow of color from the dress of pale pink which fell in flowing lines to her small sandaled feet. A few white narcissus were at her belt and in her black hair, and a fairer picture of pure and graceful womanhood never gladdened a lover’s heart. ”

“ Saving life is often saving souls, John. Next time I go that way every man at Zavala’s ranche and every man in Granger’s camp will listen to me. I shall then have a greater danger than red men to tell them of. But they know both my rifle and my words are true, and when I say to them, ‘Boys, there’s hell and heaven right in your path, and your next step may plunge you into the fiery gulf, or open to you the golden gates,’ they’ll listen to me, and they’ll believe me. ”

“ People of self-contained natures weary even of happiness, if happiness makes a constant demand upon them. She loved Richard with the first love of her heart, she loved him very truly and fondly, but she was also very happy through the long summer days sitting alone, or with Phyllis, and sewing pure, loving thoughts into wonderful pieces of fine linen and cambric and embroidery. Sometimes Phyllis helped her, and they talked together in a sweet confidence of the lovers so dear to them, and made little plans for the future full of true unselfishness. ”

“ He compared its mediaeval strength, its long narrow lattices, its low rambling rooms, its Saxon simplicity, with the grand mansions of modern date in which he visited. It must be remembered that it is only recently old houses and old furniture and early English have become fashionable. Antony’s dream of a home was not of Hallam, but of a grander Eltham castle, whose rooms should be twice as large and lofty and splendid.
He would control men through their idol, gold; he would buy some old earldom, and have orders and honors thrust upon him. ”

“ It was soon evident that there would be little sympathy between Richard and Antony. Richard Fontaine was calm, dignified, reticent; never tempted to give his confidence to any one; and averse to receive the confidences of others; therefore, though he listened with polite attention to Antony’s aspirations and aims, they made very little impression upon him. Both he and Phyllis glided without effort into the life which must have been so new to them; and in less than a week, Hallam had settled happily down to its fresh conditions. But nothing had been just as Antony expected. ”

“ It was only a prosy old man who opposed the measure, on the ground that the State could not afford to protect such a far-outlying frontier.
“Perish the State that cannot protect her citizens!” cried a vehement voice from another seat, and, forthwith leaped to his feet Captain John Millard. Elizabeth had never seen him, but she knew, from Phyllis’s sudden silence, and the proud light in her face, who it was. He talked as he fought, with all his soul, a very Rupert in debate, as he was in battle. In three minutes all whispering had ceased; women listened with full eyes, men with glowing cheeks ”

“ This was how matters stood when John Millard heard and answered the call of Texas. And that night Phyllis learned one of love’s hardest lessons; she saw, with a pang of fear and amazement, that in a man’s heart love is not the passion which swallows up all the rest. Humanity, liberty, that strange sympathy which one brave man has for another, ruled John absolutely. ”

“ Many hard things were said of Antony Hallam; and men forgave more easily the reckless speculation which had robbed them, than the want of manly courage which had made him fly from the consequences of his wrongdoing. It was a bitter ordeal for a woman as proud as Elizabeth to face alone. But she resented most of all that debt of shame which had prevented her devoting the income of Hallam to the satisfaction of her brother’s creditors. ”

“ And to the happy bridal came John and Phyllis, and all their handsome sons and daughters, and never was there a more sweetly, solemn marriage-feast. For many wise thoughts had come to Elizabeth as her children grew up at her side, and one of them was a conviction that marriage is too sacred a thing to be entered into amid laughter and dancing and thoughtless feasting. ”

“ It is in the deserts we have met angels. A great trial is almost a necessity for a true Christian life; for faith needs a soil that has been deeply plowed. The seed cast upon the surface rarely finds the circumstances that are sufficient for its development. And blessed also are those souls to whom the “long watches” of sorrow are given! It is a great, soul that is capable of long-continued suffering, and that can bring to it day after day a heart at once submissive and energetic and all vibrating with hope.
Yet it may be fairly said that Elizabeth Hallam was now upon this plane. ”

“ Strike like men! The cause commends the blow!’”
“And I wish I had been there to strike, John; or, at least, to strengthen and succor those who did strike.”
“We had no drums, or fifes, or banners in our little army; none of the pomp of war; nothing that helps and stimulates; but the preacher was worth them all.”
“I can believe that. When we remember how many preachers bore arms in Cromwell’s camps, there isn’t much miracle in Marston Moor and Worcester fight. You were very fortunate to be in time for San Jacinto.”
“I was that. Fortune may do her worst, she cannot rob me of that honor.” ”

“ And another night, as I rode over the Maverick prairie, when it was knee-deep in grass and flowers, and the stars were gathering one by one with a holy air into the house of God, I could not restrain myself, and I sang aloud for joy! Then, suddenly, there seemed to be all around me a happy company, and my spiritual ears were opened, and I heard a melody beyond the voices of earth, and I was not ashamed in it of my little human note of praise. I tell you, death only sets us face to face with Him who is not very far from us at any time. ”

“ People are apt to suppose that in old countries and among the wealthy classes years come and go and leave few traces. The fact is that no family is precisely in the same circumstances after an interval of a year or two. Gold cannot bar the door against sorrow, and tapestry and eider-down have no covenant with change. Richard had not been many hours in Hallam when he felt the influence of unusual currents and the want of customary ones. The squire’s face no longer made a kind of sunshine in the big, low rooms and on the pleasant terraces. ”

“ They had a long conference, from which Antony came away pale and sick with emotion, leaving his sister sobbing on her couch. It is always a painful thing to witness grief from which we are shut out, and Phyllis was unhappy without being able to weep with her uncle and cousins. But it is one blessing of a refined household that sorrow must be put aside for the duties and courtesies of life. The dinner table was set, and the squire washed his face, and put on his evening suit, his long white vest and lace kerchief, and, without being conscious of it, was relieved by the change. ”