Anita Loos

“ So Dorothy and I looked at two girls who seemed to be ploughing up all of the ground with only the aid of a cow and Dorothy said, “I think we girls have gone one step to far away from New York, because it begins to look to me as if the Central of Europe is no country for we girls.” So we both became quite worried. I mean I became quite depressed because if this is what Mr. Eisman thinks we American girls ought to learn I really think it is quite depressing. So I do not think we care to meet any gentlemen who have been born and raised in the Central of Europe. ”

“ But all the time I am going back to New York, I will have to try to make up my mind one way or another. Because we girls really can not help it, if we have ideals, and sometimes my mind seems to get to running on things that are romantic, and I seem to think that maybe there is some place in the world where there is a gentleman who knows how to look and act like Count Salm and who has got money besides. And when a girls mind gets to thinking about such a romantic thing, a girls mind really does not seem to know whether to marry Henry or not. ”

“ So Dorothy looked around and Dorothy said, if this is "kunst," the art center of the world is Union Hill New Jersey.
So then they started in to playing Kiki but it seems that it was not the same kind of a Kiki that we have in America, because it seemed to be all about a family of large size German people who seemed to keep getting in each others ways. I mean when a stage is completely full of 2 or 3 German people who are quite large size, they really cannot help it if they seem to get in each others ways. ”

“ Froyd asked me, what I seemed to dream about. So I told him that I never really dream about anything. I mean I use my brains so much in the day time that at night they do not seem to do anything else but rest. So Dr. Froyd was very very surprized at a girl who did not dream about anything. So then he asked me all about my life. I mean he is very very sympathetic, and he seems to know how to draw a girl out quite a lot. I mean I told him things that I really would not even put in my diary. So then he seemed very very intreeged at a girl who always seemed to do everything she wanted to do. ”

“ I mean when the smell of beer gets to be anteek it gets to smell quite a lot. But Mr. Spoffard seemed to think that the lobby of the Kunst theatre did not smell any worse than all of the other places in Munich. So then Dorothy spoke up and Dorothy said “You can say what you want about the Germans being full of ‘kunst,’ but what they are really full of is delicatessen.”
So then we went into the Kunst theater. But the Kunst theater does not seem to smell so good as the lobby of the Kunst theater. ”

“ So then I ordered luncheon and I thought some champagne would make her feel quite good for luncheon so I asked her if she liked champagne. So she really likes champagne very very much but Miss Chapman thinks it is not so nice for a person to drink liquor. But I told her that I was a Christian science, and all of we Christian science seem to believe that there can not really be any harm in anything, so how can there be any harm in a small size bottle of champagne? ”

“ Because Henry is the kind of a gentleman who gets on a girls nerves quite a lot and when a gentleman has nothing else to do but get on a girls nerves, there really seems to be a limit to almost everything. ”

“ And I did not even bother to learn any more French because I always seem to think it is better to leave French to those that can not do anything else but talk French. So finally Mr. Eisman seemed to lose quite a lot of interest in all of my shopping. ”

“ I mean it is quite unusual to see all of the gentlemen at Vienna stop work, to go to yowzer about one hour after they have all finished their luncheon, but time really does not seem to mean so much to Viennese gentlemen except time to get to the coffee house, which they all seem to know by instincts, or else they really do not seem to mind if they make a mistake and get there to early. Because Mr. Eisman says that when it is time to attend to the button profession, they really seem to lose all of their interest until Mr. ”