Anonymous

“ If a boy be sent home, whose parents are in low circumstances, the usher is the man to accompany him: he is the properest person to inform the parents what progress the boy makes: and to send your footman would be making no distinction betwixt the children of the poor and the rich.
Sect. 7. If a beggar appears at the door, your usher is the man to send him away, both because he may be mistaken for the master of the house, and because he ought, whilst the boys are at play, to be always at the door. ”

“ The instruction of youth you must commit in a great measure to your ushers; it is for this purpose you employ them, (see article Usher.) But not to omit any thing material, which may concern you, take the following rules.
Sect. 1. If your principal boys ask too hard questions, make it a rule never to tell them; it would be excusing them from a necessary part of their duty. Tell them it is easy enough, and send them back; the more pains they take to acquire their learning, the longer they will retain it. ”

“ If a father gives you full power over his son's posteriors, be not afraid to use it, but make him the scape-goat of the school as often as convenient. In this, and many other rules, the reasons are too obvious to be particularly noticed. ”

“ The parents of these times seem duly sensible of the advantages of a good education, and are rather desirous of having their children instructed in the different branches of polite literature, and genteel deportment, than acquainted with the crabbed writers of antiquity, or the useless distinctions and discoveries of modern philosophical subtlety. ”

“ The most desirable method of procuring ushers is by advertisements. None will apply who are not in desperate circumstances, and these are your men. If they know little it is no great matter; they will be the more diligent: and should the children detect their ignorance, or the parents complain, you may easily dismiss them ”

“ In all kinds of Latin or Greek exercises it is best to mark the faults, and let the boys mend them, it puts them on enquiring into the exact meaning of the words they use, and will make them more careful of committing blunders. ”

“ Address and Behaviour before Parents.
Sect. 1. When a gentleman or lady pays you a visit, run out, the more slovenly the better; it will shew your attention to business, and a due sense of the honour they do you. It would be proper also that your wife hold the door open; your ushers be all ready to bow as they pass; and that your best looking boys be called into the parlour.
Sect. 2. If a parent unfortunately call to see a boy who has been just whipped, call the boy to you, and threaten, if he promises not to behave better, to tell his parents ”

“ If your number of boys or their allowances deserve not a fruit-woman's attendance, your wife may properly enough engage in the office; it will prevent the boys from being cheated, and be a proof of her humility. ”

“ Never ask the parents or friends of the boys to dine with you. You live upon the fragments left by the boys, and have nothing worth asking them to; it will be a proof of your frugality, and they will the more readily pay your demands. ”

“ Remember always to exercise your first severity on poor people's children, and day-scholars. The first floggings are a perpetual disgrace, and it is but reasonable that they should bear it, by whom you are least profited.
Sect. 2. Never punish the favourite of a family, if he have any younger brothers.
Sect. 3. Boys who bear flogging best are commonly those who most deserve it. If four be accused, therefore, he who bears flogging best is always in the fault. ”

“ If you are at any time desirous of enlarging your terms, expostulate plentifully on your intended improvements, and the large stipends your assistants require. Your expences are extremely great, and the business above measure fatiguing; you have been long accustomed to children, and are fond of seeing them about you ”

“ Let them always breakfast with the servants, or in some other equally humble manner; it will keep them at a due distance from you, and make them the more thankful for what little notice you may think proper to take of them. ”

“ When your ushers first come, you must endeavour to open their hearts by kind treatment. Make yourself acquainted with their circumstances; you may then more judiciously reduce them to trammels.
Sect. 4. It is not your interest that the ushers be too intimate one with another, or with the boys; they may communicate their respective observations; poison the minds of your boys with injurious reflections on your character ”

“ The butchers and bakers you must remember have been time immemorial the best academy-ticks.
Sect. 4. The worse your fresh joints are dressed the better for you; the boys will eat the less, and it is always the cook's fault.
Sect. 5. Whenever the boys find fault with the quality of your meat, appear at the head of your table, declare the extraordinary price you have given for it, and call your servants to witness that you sent for the best in the market. ”

“ Going to bed is a thing the boys dislike. This little respite, therefore, will please them mightily, and they will please the maids.
CHAP. IV.
RECREATION.
Sect. 1. The more holidays the better; it will give the boys an opportunity of feeding themselves at their own expence, and, by tasking them well, you will prevent the complaints of their parents. But the fewer holidays you promise before-hand the more prudent; it will prevent your usher from gadding abroad.
Sect. 2. Never give a holiday on the day appointed for the entertainment of your friend ”

“ They must be able to live upon scraps, and lie three in a bed. If you give them no wages it will oblige them to look sharp, and be upon good terms with the boys.
Sect. 2. It will always be your interest to have a quarrel between the maids and the ushers; it will prevent the latter from having more meat and drink than they are allowed.
Sect. 3. If your maids are taken from taverns or inns so much the better; they will bear with less reluctance the innocent freedoms of the boys.—Many other rules might be added on this head, but it is needless ”