Arthur Scott Bailey

“ Ebenezer told Mistah Mule. [33] “Farmer Green is going to drive us up to the doorway and load the sack into the wagon.”
“I’se willin’ to help pull the empty wagon across the yard,” said Mistah Mule. “But after Farmer Green loads that heavy sack into it, I aims to stay right where I is.”
“What!” cried Ebenezer. “Are you going to balk? Aren’t you going to help draw your own corn home to the barn?”
There was a very surly look in Mistah Mule’s left eye, which was nearest Ebenezer, as he answered, “I doesn’t crave to do any work, even for my own self.” ”

“ Finally the blacksmith untied Mistah Mule’s halter-strap. And soon Mistah Mule found himself lying upon the floor of the smithy.
Old dog Spot began to wag his tail and prance about Mistah Mule.
“Now what are you going to do?” he yelped. “You made all those threats. But the blacksmith is too smart for you. He’s got you where you can’t move.” ”

“ Ebenezer exclaimed.
“Not workin’ exactly!” said Mistah Mule. “You might say I been balkin’.”
[13] “What!” Ebenezer gasped. “Are you balky, sometimes?”
“I most gen’rally is,” said Mistah Mule. And then he gave his odd laugh, “Hee-haw! Hee-haw!”
“Let me give you a bit of advice,” said the old horse, looking very solemn. “Just forget all such tricks as balking and kicking. You’ve come to make your home among kind people. You’ll be well treated here. And you ought to behave politely. When Farmer Green asks you to work, I hope you’ll do your best.” ”

“ Bright and Broad, the oxen, were going to race against Mistah Mule in the back pasture.
It was going to be a slow race. And since Mistah Mule hadn’t the slightest idea what a slow race was, Bright and Broad started to explain. As usual, they both began to speak the same words, at the same time.
“The race,” they told Mistah Mule, “will be from the fence here to the big pine tree on the other side of the pasture. We two will keep together, just as we always do. We’ll all three start at once. [108] If you reach the pine tree first, you lose. If we reach it first, we lose.” ”

“ Farmer Green’s old horse, Ebenezer, stood in the barn and gazed none too pleasantly over the partition at his new neighbor in the next stall.
His neighbor, Mistah Mule, cocked one of his black ears at Ebenezer.
“Ole hoss,” he said with something like a grin, “I and you is goin’ to be hitched up together in the mornin’.”
This news almost took Ebenezer’s breath away.
“What!” he exclaimed. “Is Farmer Green going to work us in double harness? I—I can hardly believe it.”
[12] “That what he done told his boy,” Mistah Mule declared. “But don’t you go to worryin’ yourself ’bout work. ”

“ Mistah Mule brayed. “Do just as I tells you and you’ll make him run sure.”
Then Turkey Proudfoot gave a run and a leap and a flap of his wings, all of which carried him to the top of the fence and thence into the farmyard. He began to strut back and forth between the house and the barns, keeping a sharp eye upon the woodshed door.
In a little while Farmer Green appeared in the doorway, carrying a pail, and started to walk to the pigpens.
Turkey Proudfoot gave a loud gobble and rushed at him. There was no stick anywhere in sight which Farmer Green could snatch up. ”

“ I reckon this Farmer Green’ll learn to take a hint before long.”
Well, strange to say, that very day Mistah Mule shot a glance of triumph at [25] Ebenezer, because of something Farmer Green said to the hired man.
“I declare,” Farmer Green exclaimed, “I don’t see why this mule won’t eat his grain. There can’t be anything wrong with his teeth, for he chews his hay. The only reason I can think of is that he has always been fed something else; and he’s so stubborn he won’t eat what we give him.” ”

“ Ebenezer remarked to him.
“Just you wait, ole hoss, until he asks me to draw a load,” Mistah Mule answered. “I doesn’t mind pullin’ a empty wagon a little ways. I likes to stretch my legs once in a while. But I doesn’t aim to do any reg’lar work. I never has done any. Why should I now?”
On the whole, Ebenezer had little fault to find with Mistah Mule’s behavior on their drive. Farmer Green put no load into the wagon. He merely jogged Mistah Mule and Ebenezer around what everybody [21] in Pleasant Valley knew as the “Four-mile Square”; then drove them home. ”

“ Mistah Mule was in the back pasture. The only other farm folk there were Farmer Green’s oxen, Bright and Broad. They were a slow-going pair. They always took plenty of time for anything they did. They walked slowly, they lay down and got up slowly, they ate slowly, they thought slowly, they talked slowly. ”

“ Farmer Green remarked with a chuckle, “we can walk past this fellow’s stall without having to dodge his heels.”
Meanwhile Farmer Green’s son Johnnie had come in to watch what happened to [17] Mistah Mule. “Won’t he bite?” he asked his father.
“No!” said Farmer Green. “He’s too wise to wear out his teeth on anything except food.”
Johnnie Green then slipped in beside Ebenezer and gave him an apple. Out of the corner of his eye, Mistah Mule saw Ebenezer take the gift. And when Ebenezer began to munch the apple, Mistah Mule spoke. “I is waitin’ for a apple,” he remarked. ”

“ Master Meadow Mouse explained. “And how awful, if—when you were alone—you got to laughing and couldn’t stop!”
This remark so amused Mistah Mule that he couldn’t help laughing again. [72] And Master Meadow Mouse promptly tumbled right over backward. He was sadly frightened. But he soon pulled himself together.
“Do you suppose,” he asked, “I could learn to make that sound? It would be pleasant, when anybody chases you, to turn around quickly and hee-haw right in his face. It’s a fine way to frighten a person.”
“Keep a-tryin’ whenever you gits a chance,” Mistah Mule suggested. ”

“ I see your tail is very much like mine.’ Now you understand, don’t you?”
Mistah Mule scratched his head with one hind foot. Something still puzzled him.
“How that a-goin’ to tease her?” he asked. “’Pears to me it a-goin’ to please her.”
“You think so?” Mr. Crow retorted with a sly smile. “Well, perhaps you’re right. Try it, anyhow. And let me know what she says to you.”
Then Mr. Crow flew away towards the cornfield.
“Huh!” Mistah Mule grunted as he watched Mr. Crow growing smaller and smaller in the distance. “That ole rascal, he a-tryin’ to git me into trouble. ”

“ Turkey Proudfoot asked.
“I kin kick him plumb across the barn floor,” Mistah Mule chuckled. “Kin you do that?”
Turkey Proudfoot knew that he couldn’t. But he wouldn’t actually say so.
“I could make Farmer Green run,” he remarked, “if only he would fight fairly. But he won’t. He fights with a stick.”
“Sho!” Mistah Mule exclaimed. “Do he?” And then Mistah Mule hung his head in thought. Soon he raised it again, however. And to Turkey Proudfoot he began to say something in a low voice. Whatever it was, Turkey Proudfoot did not seem to think well of it. He kept gobbling protests and crying, “No! ”

“ And though the old horse Ebenezer told him again and again to stop, he paid not the slightest heed.
“You won’t be fed any sooner for making such a racket,” Ebenezer warned him.
“The longer they waits before they feeds me, the more noise I kin make,” Mistah Mule retorted. And Ebenezer had to admit that that seemed to be true.
Now, Mistah Mule always ate all his hay—and wanted another serving. But he [24] wouldn’t touch the grain that Farmer Green set before him in a box. At least, he wouldn’t eat it. ”

“ Farmer Green now untied this strange pair, turned them around, and backed the wagon up to the gristmill door. Then he dumped the sack of corn into the back of the wagon, sat down upon the seat, picked up the reins, and said, “Giddap!”
[34] “Now, don’t be silly!” said Ebenezer to his companion. “This load is nothing. We’ll have it in the barn before you know it.” And he started forward.
“I’se a person of my word,” Mistah Mule declared. ”

“ Mistah Mule cried. “’Tain’t every day it takes two men an’ a boy an’ a ole dog to shoe anybody in this smithy.”
Mistah Mule trotted briskly home with Johnnie Green and old dog Spot together in the wagon. He never balked once. He knew there ought to be a good dinner waiting for him in the barn ”

“ And how’s your cousin?”
“I’m quite well, thank you,” the Muley Cow replied. “But which cousin do you mean? You know, half the herd is related to me. I have first cousins, second [49] cousins, third cousins, fourth cousins——”
“Yes! ”