Arthur Wing Pinero

“ Allingham! I’m inclined to—to half-believe in you; you’ve an honest face and air—not that those things count for much; but understand me: if you bring, in any shape or form, further harm to her——!
John. [Indignantly.] What further harm can I bring to her? You find me here with my wife——!
Mrs. Cloys. Sir, you had a wife round the corner when you were engaged in destroying my niece’s reputation in Lennox Gardens! [Recovering her composure.] But enough of that. [Calmly, amiably.] We do understand one another, do we not?
John. [Shortly.] Oh, perfectly.
Mrs. Cloys. That’s right. ”

“ Fraser. Surely that, too, was “great fun” for a time?
Theophila. It might have been, if you had the smallest sense of humour, Alec; but one soon tires of laughing alone. No, there was never any fun in that kilt. It got on my nerves from the beginning—the solemn, stupid stateliness of it. Girls are subject to creeps and crawls; I grew at last to positively dread joining you in the hall of an evening, to be frightened at giving you my arm to go into dinner—the simple sound of the rustling of my skirt against that petticoat of yours made the chairs, everything, dance. ”

“ For months and months it has made a hell of my life, your jealousy. People have seen me walking about looking merry; but what sort of days and nights does a woman really spend with the Divorce Court looming before her? “Allingham versus Allingham, Fraser intervening!” that’s the air you’ve kept me dancing to since—goodness knows when the music first struck up! And now I’m to forgive you, offhand, because—you happen to have a jealous disposition!
Olive. [Falteringly.] You were sustained all the time by the knowledge that you were an innocent, persecuted woman ”

“ What’s the matter with the world that a woman has to lose her character and paint her face before she is entitled to tell a man her troubles, and hear his in return, across a dying fire, by lamplight, when the streets are still and a few words of sympathy and encouragement stir one like a sudden peal of bells——? ”

“ I admit, Locheen is all very well at a certain time of year. But to be stuck there when London’s full; when nobody but a poor relation, whose railway ticket you send with the invitation, will come and look you up! Oh, that summer you made me spend there just after we were married!
71Fraser. I was very happy that summer.
Theophila. You were in love. And then, the pipers! those pipers!
Fraser. Duncan and Hamish were supremely ridiculous to you, I remember.
Theophila. Not ridiculous, as you say it—great fun for a time; but four or five months of Duncan and Hamish and their pipes! ”

“ Jack.
John. What is it?
Elphick. [With an empty expression of face and voice.] Don’t do anything weak.
John. Get out! [Elphick disappears. John hurriedly glances round the room and arranges a displaced chair. Then he discovers that Elphick has left the banjo upon the settee, and he seizes it impatiently.] Oh—— [Going to the door of the library and drawing aside the portière.] Here! Peter! catch! [He throws the banjo into the room, and readjusts the portière. The instrument is heard to fall with a crash to the floor. He looks into the library, hastily.] I beg your pardon, old fellow. ”

“ Theophila. To do what?
Olive. To accept both Mr. Fraser’s help—and mine.
[Theophila partly rises, as if about to make some indignant response, but restrains herself.
251Theophila. I—I can only make the same reply to you, Mrs. Allingham, as I have just made to my husband—thank you, no.
Olive. You cannot right yourself in the eyes of people without Mr. Fraser’s assistance or mine. And especially mine! You couldn’t accomplish it thoroughly with his help alone; it would be impossible.
Theophila. Very well then, it’s impossible.
Olive. [To Fraser.] Mr. Fraser—— [Fraser advances a few steps.] ”

“ Fraser. I simply wish to get my sick wife away as speedily and as peacefully as possible, and then to forget this gentleman—and his cough. [Mrs. Cloys goes out at the window and disappears.] Justina; surely you—you—resent this new attitude of Mrs. Allingham’s? For months and months she is your sister’s bitter, determined enemy; then suddenly she is allowed to sit up all night, nursing her! ”

“ Cloys.] How do you do, Sir Fletcher? [Nodding to Claude.] How are you, Emptage?
Sir Fletcher Portwood. [With a wave of the hand towards Mrs. Cloys.] My sister, Mrs. Cloys.
John. Mrs. Cloys, Sir Fletcher; there have been some most unhappy differences between my wife and myself in the past, as you know too well. Unfortunately, she and I have not been the only sufferers from these differences; we have dragged others along with us. However, we met this evening, half an hour ago, and are—reconciled——
Sir Fletcher Portwood. ”

“ To and fro on the terrace, for a whole hour in the morning, those pipes! To and fro, up and down, all round the house, in the afternoon, those pipes! At dinner, from the trout to the banana, those pipes. ”

“ I refuse to be silenced. As Mrs. Fraser’s brother, I desire to say that I did not expect to be received to-night by the lady who has done her best—her utmost——
Sir Fletcher Portwood. Sssh! sssh!
Mrs. Cloys. Be quiet, Claude, please!
Olive. [Rising and going to John.] John, really——
John. [Hotly.] Look here, Emptage, you’re a boy—at any rate, a very young man——!
Claude. I am a truly unfortunate young man. A blight has been cast upon my name at the very outset of my career——
John. ”

“ Olive. What will they think?
John. [With a shrug of the shoulder.] They can scarcely know what to think.
Olive. [Walking to the mantelpiece.] What do you think yourself, of my humbling myself in this fashion? [Turning to him.] What do you——? [As she has crossed to the left of the room, he, still at a distance, has moved over to the right. Speaking with a catch in her breath.] Oh, don’t do that! I’m not poisonous, John. [He approaches stiffly and silently. She advances towards him plaintively.] John, I am quite worn out— [putting her hand to her bosom] —burnt out here. ”

“ Puh. Here’s to our friend, the judge——! [Drinking, nearly emptying her glass.] I hope his wife’s a cat who leads him a——! [Jumping up suddenly, her eyes dilating, holding her glass high in the air.] Happiness and prosperity to Mr. Fraser! [Loudly.] Mr. Fraser!
208John. Sssh! oh, hush!
Theophila. Fraser of Locheen! [She goes to the fireplace and flings the contents of her glass into the grate.] Ha! well, that’s throwing good stuff after poor, isn’t it? [She places her glass on the table; the cigarette box is open; she takes a cigarette.] The old sort?
John. [Quickly.] No, no——
Theophila. ”

“ John. Olive?
Olive. Ah—h—h—h, you’ll find plenty of pretty women at Aix——!
Quaife enters, showing in Mrs. Emptage and Claude. Quaife retires. Mrs. Emptage is in a bright and fashionable morning dress.
Mrs. Emptage. [To Olive.] Mrs. Allingham——! [To Claude.] Claude, keep by me. My legs are all of a tremble. Where is my daughter, Mrs. Fraser? Take me to her. I am very ill indeed; I fancy this affair has affected my heart——
John. ”

“ Theophila. To shake it off?
Fraser. It was awful in Court.
Theophila. [Partly to herself.] Awful.
79Fraser. As you say, her counsel twisted and turned everything about so. When he cross-examined you to-day, and made you say ... and then the judge ... the benefit of the doubt ... awful....
Theophila. [Under her breath.] I see.
Fraser. [Rising.] Yes—that we must go away and be, quietly, together. For the present, there’s something even more important than regaining the good opinion of others—there is ourselves. Will you come back to Lennox Gardens now, or shall I return for you by-and-bye? ”

“ Claude. Theophila’s brother! [Pointing into space.] The 15brother of Mrs. Fraser of Locheen! The brother of the witness in the box! Every eye upon me!
Mrs. Quinton Twelves. [Drily.] I see.
Claude. Oh, Kate, I’ve felt this business in more ways than one. It has been a terrible lesson to me.
Mrs. Quinton Twelves. [Smiling.] My poor Claudio!
Claude. [Not looking at her.] No, don’t pity me—despise me. Kitty, how easy it is for a fellow to imperil a woman’s reputation!
Mrs. Quinton Twelves. [Amused.] Yes, isn’t it?
Claude. We attach ourselves to a pretty married woman ”

“ Claude. It’s not a coin; it’s a ring.
Sir Fletcher Portwood. [Irritably.] What are you talking about, my boy? You always appear to be masticating some commonplace or other.
[Horton appears.
Horton. Beg pardon, Sir Fletcher. Mrs. Cloys wants to wish you good-day, Sir Fletcher. I wasn’t aware where you was, Sir Fletcher.
Claude. [Giving the letter to Horton.] Miss Justina.
[Horton withdraws.
85Sir Fletcher Portwood. [Rising.] I’d quite forgotten your aunt. Do, please, look unconcerned, Claude. Let her see that men can display courage and decision at such moments. ”

“ I wish you could have heard Sir John Clarkson’s opening speech for Theophila this morning. There was quite a murmur of approval when he sat down.
Justina. He let that wretch, Mrs. Jack Allingham, have it—eh? He did!
Mrs. Quinton Twelves. He said that a morbidly jealous wife is one of the saddest spectacles the world presents; but that when her jealousy leads her to attempt to blacken the reputation, the hitherto spotless reputation, of another woman—in this instance, a young lady more happily married than herself—then that jealous wife becomes a positive danger to society.
7Mrs. Emptage. ”

“ Emptage is reclining upon the settee, her eyes closed, a bottle of smelling-salts in her hand. Justina is pacing the room between the door and the window. Mrs. Emptage is a pretty, carefully-preserved woman with dyed hair and “touched-up” face: she is old enough to be the mother of a 2daughter of nine-and-twenty. Justina is of that age, good-looking, “smart,” and already somewhat passé. ”

“ Your fire’s all right to look at——! [She removes her cape from her shoulders and flings it away from her; he picks it up, and places it over the back of a chair.] Never mind that rag. Are you likely to be in Paris?
John. I—I’m not fond of Paris.
Theophila. [Jumping up, and speaking volubly, excitedly, boisterously.] Suppose that wire don’t find Emily, and she doesn’t meet me at the Nord to-morrow night. Ugh! cheerful! She may be dead, No, no; not Emily. Poor old Emily! Be sure you look me up if you should pass through. Rue Poissonnière, 18. You’re bound to be rambling soon. How lucky a man is! ”

“ Theophila. You know, there’s always a moment in the lives of a man and woman who are tied to each other when the man has a chance of making the woman really, really, his own property. It’s only a moment; if he let’s the chance slip, it’s gone—it never comes back. I fancy my husband had his chance to-day. If he had just put his hand on my shoulder this afternoon and said, “You fool, you don’t deserve it, for your stupidity, but I’ll try to save you——”; if he had said something, anything, of that kind to me, I think 195I could have gone down on my knees to him and—— [Coming to John excitedly.] ”

“ Theophila. Run away?
Fraser. Justina came to Lennox Gardens last night at about half-past six.
Theophila. It hadn’t struck you as at all likely——?
Fraser. No.
Theophila. Men don’t think on some points, I suppose. They hit; they never expect to see a bruise.
Fraser. The two days we passed in Court, Theophila, set me quite beside myself. ”

“ Cloys. Rubbish!
Sir Fletcher Portwood. I know my world, Harriet.
Justina. What was it that Olive said about that, ma?
39Mrs. Emptage. When the wife is older than the husband every fresh little line in her face becomes an acute pain to her, just as if it were cut into her flesh, and renewed daily, with a knife. ”

“ Pish! the world don’t matter a damn.
Olive. [Softly.] Ah, that’s delicious!
John. What is——?
Olive. I haven’t heard a man swear since I turned you out of Pont Street. [Dreamily, almost inaudibly, as she plays with a cigarette.] Damn! [He looks round 137at her; she is lost in thought; suddenly she crushes the cigarette, and flings it from her fiercely.] Ah! Theo Fraser smokes!
John. [Starting up in a rage.] Hah! hah!
[He goes out of the room.
Olive. [Following him a few steps, penitently.] Oh, John!—— [There is a knock at the upper door.] Yes?
[Quaife enters, with some cards on a salver.] ”

“ Mrs. Emptage. Here’s tea! Claude, help Justina with the tea-table. Tea is what Theo needs.
[She hurries out with Theophila’s bonnet and cape. Claude and Justina carry the tea-table and place it before the “cosy-corner.” Mrs. Cloys sits with her head bent. Horton places the tray upon the tea-table and withdraws. Justina sits in the “cosy-corner” and pours out tea.
54Sir Fletcher Portwood. [Bustling up to the tea-table.] Tea is what we all need. A most exciting day! I’ve often observed how welcome one’s tea is on a Derby Day——
Theophila. ”

“ At those moments old Duncan and his boy Hamish seemed to be blowing into the blood-vessels of my head. And during dinner even the table wouldn’t help me; I was weak, hysterical—I declare to goodness 73I could always see through the thickness of the board—see the two knees! [With a backward shake of the head] Ha!
Fraser. Well, Duncan and Hamish—poor fellows—and their pipes, and the objectionable kilt—those things need never trouble you again; at any rate, we can decide that.
Theophila. Oh, no, Alec, we will go up to Locheen in August——
Fraser. ”

“ Olive. Oh, please! I’ve been lectured by Mrs. Fraser, Oh, there are heaps of solitary women in the world; some people envy them. [He sits upon the settee.] Now that—now that—the chances of our coming together again have fallen through, I shall be off out of London at once. Where can one go to at this time of the year?
273John. [Abstractedly.] Eh? Er—it’s a bit early for most places.
Olive. I’m going to Aix in August.
John. [Looking up.] You are?
Olive. Oh! Why, did you think of——?
John. Yes. But it doesn’t matter.
Olive. Oh, I don’t want to interfere with your——
John. ”

“ Let nobody make a fuss; Alec hates a fuss!
Sir Fletcher Portwood. No fuss, but some one ought to play “See the Conquering 48Hero——!” Theo is so fond of a little fun—genuine fun!
[He seats himself at the piano and fingers out the air laboriously. Theophila and her husband enter. She is an elegantly-dressed, still girlish, woman of seven-and-twenty; he a good-looking, undemonstrative man of about five-and-thirty. Both are pale, weary-looking, and subdued. Fraser is gloved and frock-coated; Theophila is in her bonnet and cape.
Mrs. Emptage. [Her hands twitching.] Well, pet? ”

“ John. [Sternly.] Well?
Olive. Are you by yourself?
John. Yes. [After a pause.] Come in.
He draws back to allow her to pass him. After a short delay she enters, and, without looking at him, comes right into the room. He closes the window, but remains at that end of the room. Olive Allingham is a fashionably and richly dressed woman of a little over thirty years of age—pale, worn red-eyed, but still handsome. In manner she is alternately beseeching and gentle, angry and imperious. The twilight now gradually deepens into dusk.
116Olive. You have some men here?
John. Shafto and Peter Elphick. ”