Barry Pain

“ But I do think that in the special constabulary a little more regard might be paid to social status. I was required for certain hours of the night to guard a small square building connected with the waterworks. It was in a desperately lonely spot, fully a hundred yards from the main road and approached by a footpath across a desolate field. I make no complaint as to that. Unless a man has pretty good nerves he had better not become a special constable. But I do complain, and with good reason, that in this task I was associated with Hopley. ”

“ This was unfortunate for Hopley, as she hit him in the face with the flask. I think that I personally must have slipped on a banana-skin, or it may have been due to the sudden surprise at hearing Eliza's voice. Eliza said she was sorry about Hopley's nose, but that we really ought not to play silly jokes like that when on duty, because we might possibly frighten somebody.
The other night I was discussing with Hopley the possibility of my being made a sergeant.
"Not a chance," he said. "No absolute earthly, old sport." ”

“ This question of exposure to the weather is rather more serious than you seem to——"
"Oh, that kind of flask! Well, that's different. And do be more careful when you're uncrossing your legs. You as near as possible kicked the cat that time." ”