Benjamin Webster

“ A Fletcher by any other name—I mean, any other rose is as sweet. Never mind. I don’t understand the language of flowers—no, all humbug—but this I know. There are men who resign themselves to the part you require them to act, madame. There are others who refuse to play second to any one, and who, when once they perceive their position ridiculous, cease to remonstrate, and respectfully offer to cancel the engagement. ”

“ She lived alone with her father, an old chorus-singer, who was always drunk, at least he was never sober—and consequently Martha was very unhappy. I proposed marriage to her, and she accepted. For three years I was the happiest of men. I was passionately fond of my wife. I had a daughter whom I adored. My happiness was too great to last. About this time a young man often came to me, and ordered a variety of clothes which he never wore. On one occasion I observed him speak to my wife in a manner I thought rather strange. I mentioned it to Martha, and she said I must be mad. ”

“ To win Constance from him would be no very difficult task. The day before yesterday I spoke to her, she was not at all coy, and when I took her hand in mine——it is true that this act of sensibility has borne its fruits. Till then her rehearsing was very so so. But since she imagined I was fascinated by her coquetry, she has not rehearsed at all. Love is evidently no [Pg 8] friend of mine. Once a man gets his legs entangled in the steel traps of a crinoline it’s all over with him. So I’ll pluck up resolution, and inform this popular lady that I will relieve her from the part. ”

“ For example, Holder enters saying “It’s me, sir” in the Webster and French editions, but says “It’s I, sir” in the Penn. Some of the changes attempted to make the language more acceptable to American sensibilities. For example, in the Webster and French editions, Fletcher enters saying, “The devil take the theatre, and all the actresses into the bargain!” In the Penn edition, he enters saying, “The mischief with the theatre, and all the actresses into the bargain!” ”

“ Jones. Of course, sir; of course. Then I’ll go myself, sir—in your name, sir, I’m sure to get it sir, as you write in the newspapers. [Pg 6] Only, sir, if you should want me, sir, you will please to recollect that I am obliged to go out.
Fle. Not one word of her part—not one, and the piece is to come out on Wednesday. It’s enough to drive one mad.
Jones. I have always said, sir, that you have never been done justice to, sir; yet you will persist in writing for these second-rate theatres. If I was you, sir, I would not write again till government built a legitimate theatre for scenery. ”

“ Fle. You are a very woman to your fingers’ ends.
Con. Beware of them. But come to business. It will be awkward rehearsing without Melfort, who plays the father.
Fle. I’ll send for him.
Con. Melfort stands upon his dignity. He’s a fettered lion. Send for him. You had better go for him yourself.
Fle. Where shall I find him?
Con. At the theatre until four.
Fle. (looking at his watch.) And it’s five minutes past.
Con. You have no time to lose.
Fle. It will not take five minutes to go to the theatre, and they allow ten for the variation of clocks. ”

“ Fletcher sent you this bunch of flowers.
Con. The race is not to the swift. You have discovered nothing. Fletcher did not send me those flowers.
Bel. I beg your pardon; this bouquet was purchased in Regent-street this morning at 10.45 A.M. The man who bought it was old, and dressed in a drab hat and black coat. They gave me an exact description of him, and I recognised him immediately—the copyist who is always at Fletcher’s elbow, and who is literally his right hand. ”

“ Hol. Yes, sir.
Fle. Capital! You shall embrace your daughter.
Hol. Indeed! How—when—where?
Fle. Here—now.
Hol. I shall embrace her—she will permit me to do so, and yet she shall not know?
Fle. She shall know nothing.
Enter CONSTANCE.
Con. Well! will Melfort come?
Fle. He has written to me to say he cannot.
Con. Then the rehearsal is a fiasco?
Fle. Decidedly, unless you rehearse without him.
Con. Will you rehearse the father?
Fle. No. I must see you; listen to you; if need be, prompt you.
Con. Who will do the father, then? (Seeing HOLDER.) You here still, sir? ”

“ And one day when you cut yourself with these shears, your blood flowed, you remember?
Con. Yes—
Hol. You cried—the man jumped from the table pale with fright, but when he saw it was nothing, he pretended to laugh, and beat the scissors very hard to console you—my child, my child—that man, do you remember him?
Con. My father. (She falls in his arms. They embrace and kiss each other with strong feeling.)
Hol. She said it right then! You heard. Said it finely, eh? [Pg 24] suiting the word to the action, the action to the word. She may keep the part now. ”

“ Here is your part, madame.
Bel. (to HOLDER) Do you know this bouquet?
Hol. The one I purchased this morning.
Bel. (to CONSTANCE) Proof positive!
Con. Well, if Mr. Fletcher did send the flowers, what then?
Hol. It was not Mr. Fletcher who commissioned me to purchase this bouquet.
Bel. Who then?
Hol. Eh! Who?
Bel. Yes—no humbug!
Hol. (confused and hesitating) Oh! it was—hum!
Con. (aside) Can Fletcher have divined?
Bel. (to HOLDER) Well—go on—Ah! Fletcher is not a man to put his light under a bushel. Fletcher is a man of imagination—a dramatic author—an original genius ”

“ In general, this transcription attempts to retain the formatting, punctuation, and spelling of the source text. Stage directions were punctuated three different ways: with parentheses without a period, with a period within the parentheses, and with a period immediately following the closing parenthesis. No attempt was made to make the punctuation of stage directions consistent.
The following changes were made to the text:
Title page: Inserted a period after “AND ALL BOOKSELLERS” for consistency. p. 8: Hol. Shall I take it home with me and finish it.—Changed the period to a question mark. p. ”