Carl Ewald

“ Finn sank back in his chair.
He was surprised and ashamed that he was not grieved with his father for saying that, nor with his mother, if it were true. He knew that he ought to rouse himself to protest or sympathy, but could not, because he understood it all so well.
But Cordt crossed the room with a firm stride:
“Heaven is not what Fru Adelheid thinks, nor where she seeks it,” he said. “Perhaps you will not understand me until you have lived longer in the world; but look here, Finn ... what I have seen of God in my life I have seen most in those who denied Him. ”

“ I had you, Finn ... had I anything else?... When I, then, became frightened for you, I plunged into my wonderful treasure and endowed you lavishly. I told you the legend of the old house and thought it would call you to arms, like the blast of the bugle over the camp. I revealed your father’s and your mother’s fate to you, that you might see how people fight for happiness. I sent you out into the world, where life is bigger and stronger than at home, so that life might make you into a man.... ”

“ The room is built high over the square. Its window is a door and leads to a balcony filled with red flowers. When the wind lashes them, their petals fly right over into the basin of the fountain and rock upon the water.
The room is long and deep.
Where the window is, the light streams in through the wide, stained-glass panes; but, inside, where the fireplace rises to the ceiling, it is always dark.
No one has ever seen the curtain drawn before the window. But, even if the sun could shine right into the room, it would never have seen a human being there. By day, the room is dead. ”

“ Then there awakes in my wife’s mind a longing for something which she does not possess. Her peace has turned into weariness and the love which her marriage offered into an empty custom. She resigns herself. And the silly words of every silly book sing in her ears. She knows that no love endures for ever ... that marriage is odious. Impatient sighs rise up in her soul, embitter her days and sadden her nights. Then she changes the gold of love for small coin and fritters it away, while [108] the lights shine forth and the music strikes up. ”

“ The dust had been removed from the figured-leather hangings, which shone with a new brightness. The oriental carpet spread over the floor like a lord returning from exile and once more taking possession of his estates.
And all the old glories had found their places again and stood as lawfully and [167] restfully as though it had never been otherwise. The spinet was there and the jar with the man writhing through thorns and the celestial globe whose stars shone and ran: all the furniture which the room’s different owners had set there in the course of time, each after his own taste and heart. ”

“ She felt that Cordt was stronger than she and hated him for it. She sought for a weapon to defend herself. She wished that Finn, who loved her, would lie down before her, as he so often used to do, with his cheek against her hand. And she knew that he was not thinking of it.
She felt so wretched and so lonely that she grew frightened and called upon her old longing for the red happiness ... if only it would come and take her, so that she might have something to set against him who had everything.... ”

“ When they had read one of these books, they lived in it for a time ... not in its action, among its characters, for there was no action and no characters, but in its music. They tuned their thoughts and words in its key.
Then they felt as if they had passed through some experience or as if they were travelling.
“The artist lives,” said Finn. “He makes the sky blue and grey for himself ... for himself and for us all. He wipes everything out with his hand and builds [194] it up again ... greater, ever greater. He is the master. He is God.”
One day, he asked Fru Adelheid to sing. ”

“ Cordt stopped in front of his son and nodded to him. Fru Adelheid kissed him on the forehead and her eyes beamed.
Hans looked at them, crimson with anger.
He thought of how Finn might have been drowned, or the child, or both of them. Then he remembered the scene in the woods, with the dying dog. He could not understand these people’s train of thought and he despised it. He looked at none of them and, with an effort, forced his voice to be calm, as he said:
“One has no right to behave like that. It is stupid.”
“Yes,” said Finn. ”

“ Each evening, when it grew dark, the oldest servant in the house lit the candles on the mantelpiece. Each morning, before any one was awake, he cleaned the room with his own hands and watered the red flowers on the balcony. When winter came, he strewed bread-crumbs for the sparrows that gathered on the baluster and twittered.
But the name of him that owned the house was Cordt. And his wife was Fru Adelheid. ”

“ Hans had taken the hand which he put out to him and stood ill at ease, without understanding. And Cordt sat down wearily and sat long without speaking further.
At last, he woke from his thoughts and looked at the young man, who could not interpret his glance, but was moved by it:
“I do not wish that you were my son,” he said. “I have a son and he is a good lad and I love him. He has not your strength of character, but then he does not need it. His path was smoothed and shaded from the day when he was born and grew up. But he can give you many things which you have not.” ”

“ She bears her children in pain. And the pain sears her cheek. The children have sucked her breast dry; her eyes are weary with the night-watches. The stranger who passes the house sees only the faded woman. But he who drank intoxication from her young eyes and kissed the strength of her bosom ... he does not see it. He has grown accustomed to that woman. She has quenched the longing of his youth and given him peaceful happiness instead. ”

“ Then he pushed his hair from his forehead and said, calmly:
“Try if you can understand me, Adelheid. When a woman marries and becomes a mother, she usually becomes quiet ... quieter, I mean. I mean that there are victories which she cannot win, triumphs which she cannot achieve ... which she does not trouble about. She does not trouble about them, Adelheid, because she has deepened her life ... because she has come so near to one man that the approach of other men is distasteful to her. ”

“ Cordt sat in one of the armchairs by the chimney, reading.
He was in evening clothes and held his crush-hat and his gloves on his knees. He turned the pages quickly. Every moment, he swept his thick hair from his forehead; every moment, he looked at Fru Adelheid, who was walking up and down the floor with her hands behind her back.
She was very tall and slender. Her face was as white as her white gown. Her mouth was very red, her eyes looked large and strange. She wore flowers in her hair and at her waist.
“You are not reading, Cordt,” she said; but she passed with her back to him. ”

“ But she sprang from her chair and stood before him with great, proud eyes:
“You ought to be, Cordt,” she said. “You ought to be. I am yours and I love you. You won me once: see to it that you know how to keep me. Fight for me, Cordt. I am young, I am pretty and the world is full of men.” ”

“ Then she went to the celestial globe and looked at it. She pressed the spring, so that the stars ran and shone. She looked with delight at the queer plaything and, when the clockwork stopped, set it in motion again.
She pulled out the old spinning-wheel and sat down beside it and set it going. The wheel whirred lustily in the silent room and its whirring put Fru Adelheid in a very cheerful mood. She wished the great-grandmother would come in at the door and praise her for being so industrious. ”

“ But she that loves none shall go weeping!
Fru Adelheid remained sitting with bowed head.
The song had broken her pride. She trembled over all her body and great tears fell upon her hands. She had conjured up spirits which she could not lay; she felt more powerless and small than she had ever felt before.
She began to think of Finn and looked round in alarm. But he could not see her and she wept silently. She laid her forehead against the spinet ... then her hand fell upon the keyboard and she started and rose from her seat. ”

“ He climbed high up the peaks upon which men cannot live ... the peaks whence they topple down one day or where they perish in the bright frost. For [292] there is no sound up there and no air, no day and no paths. Only light and always light.
But, when it happened that Cordt’s glance fell upon him, without his knowing it, the loneliness was suddenly extinguished in his soul. ”

“ Fru Adelheid rose from the floor and sat down in her chair and closed her eyes.
“The man who hit upon that excuse did a fine day’s work,” said Cordt. “He drove out of the world a great portion of men’s strength to live their lives.”
[80] He threw himself so violently into his chair that Fru Adelheid started. Then he sat long quiet and she was glad that he was silent.
“Why should one not be able to control one’s heart?” he said, at last. “Suppose I have a wife and child; and my wife is she whom I myself chose. Then, one day, I meet another woman, who rouses my desires. ”

“ Finn ... Finn, there are so many bells in the world besides those which summon us to church. Every man has his own, which are his and his only ... which he alone can hear, which call no one but him. There are men, opulent, charming men, for whom the bells ring wherever they set foot. They lead more powerful lives than we and prouder lives. They suffer us ... those of us who love them. But there is not in the world a man so small but that the bells call him. One has them in his work, Finn. ”

“ She told the story of the woman who used to sing when she was sad and who had brought the old spinet there; and her hands shook as she struck a chord and the slender, beautiful notes sounded through the room. Of the spinning-wheel, which had whirred merrily every evening for many a good year and which [171] stood as it was, with thread upon the spindle. Of the celestial globe, which had been the toy of the man whose intellect was obscured. ”

“ You are becoming like them.”
“No, Cordt.”
“Yes, you are like them. You are a woman and you are refined and therefore you dread the mire. But you belong to them. You and I are mortal enemies. If you were she whom my son had chosen for his wife, I should tremble for his happiness. And you had the happiness which you seek ... nay, the happiness that exists. You set the cup to your lips when you were young enough to stand wine and old enough to know that it was good.”
He pushed the hair from his forehead and looked round the room:
“There is nothing more to be said. ”

“ But the rout ran its course and it was late before the gate closed behind the last carriage.
[294] It fell heavily and harshly as though it were striking angrily at the guests’ heels. It grated its hinges long and shook its bolts as though it thought of never opening again, but of shutting out the world for ever from that old house, in which no light could drive away the increasing gloom, no joyous trumpets drown the hoarse voices that threatened in the corners. ”

“ Then he turned his face towards her:
“He does not live in his first eager longing for the trysting-hour, but confidently seeks his accustomed couch by her side. Custom has gently bound the two people into one family. Is that not beautiful, Adelheid? And good?”
[89] “Yes,” she said. “It is beautiful, as you tell it. But it is not youth.”
“Then what is youth, Adelheid?”
“Youth is not rest.”
“Then one should not marry before one is old,” said Cordt. “For marriage is rest. Deep, powerful, happy ... generating rest.”
“No more one should,” replied Fru Adelheid. ”

“ I want to be pretty and I want them to fall in love with me and I want to belong to you. I only care to be pretty if I am loved. Don’t look like that, Cordt.”
She clung to him with eyes of entreaty.
“I am not really wicked, Cordt ... am I? I was with our little baby day and night when he was ill ... wasn’t I, Cordt?”
“Yes,” he said.
“Yes ... I was. But I cannot always be quiet.”
He lifted her from her chair and crossed the room with his arm round her waist. They went out on the balcony. A carriage came across the square at a brisk trot, followed soon after by a multitude of others. ”

“ They talked of Finn and she talked softly and soothingly to him as to a child, happy to be going the way he wanted. [314] She found such gentle words and such impressive ones ... she found her smile again and looked at him and met his smile, which came stealing to his face like a sun-gleam and vanished again at once.
He heard but little of what she said. But the sound of her voice did him good. He heard it and the rain, which beat against the panes, and it grew warm and peaceful around him. ”

“ Then his eyes blazed with anger and scorn:
“What a number of years have passed since we two first met, Fru Adelheid ... what a number of miserable years!”
“Yes,” she said and raised her head for a moment and laid it on the chair again.
“You went away ... in search of your [309] red happiness. You were not content with your husband, whom you loved and who loved you ... you must have all men on their knees before your beauty ... you must needs see the desire in their eyes and their unchaste hands cramped because they dared not lay them upon Cordt’s wife.” ”

“ When a man has rent like a rag in twain
His own life’s bliss, by his own hand slain,
Being never his fortune’s master.
There was a brief silence when she ceased. Then they crowded round her in admiration and with endless requests for more.
[288] Fru Adelheid rose. She talked and smiled and thanked them. But her glance wandered far beyond all these people, who meant nothing to her, to Cordt, who stood at the far end of the room and was talking to some one and did not see her and had not heard her.
But Finn had heard her. And Finn had seen her great, humble, plaintive look. ”

“ Then the years will be gone. Then the strings of the old spinet will be rusted and mute and the spinning-wheel will have fallen to dust and the fire died out in the chimney. Then your fancy will be frightened and bewildered, like the bird that keeps on flapping against the window-pane. Your faith will be lost and your modesty turned to unchastity.”
He rose and went across to the balcony-door. [134] Fru Adelheid lay with her cheek on the fender and with closed eyes. ”

“ The stupidest, the most ignorant dervish is cleverer and kinder than you!”
Finn wanted to say something, but Cordt made a preventive gesture with his hand:
“A man must not understand everything. [275] He must choose and judge and reject. If he doesn’t do that, there is no happiness in the world and no loyalty and no peace. And, if he cannot hate, he cannot love either.” ”

“ Finn sat down by the window where he stood, with bent head and his hands upon his knees. He wound the cord of the blind round his fingers and unwound it again.
“I wonder if you will miss Hans?”
“Oh ... yes.”
“I shall,” said Cordt. “Hans represents the new order at its finest ... the hero in modern poetry ... the engineer, you know, whom they can never put on the stage without making him insipid ... because he never acts a part. He is strong and has the courage to employ [257] his powers. To us he often seems lacking in refinement and he finds it difficult to grant us our due. ”