E. J. May

“ I want to know how it is you are so much better than any one else here. I want to be better myself.”
“Oh, dear Ferrers,” said Louis, gazing earnestly in Ferrers' face, “if you do want to be better, come to our Saviour, and He will make you all you want to be. It is the feeling of His goodness, and the happy hope of being God's children, and having all their sins forgiven, that make all God's people so happy; and you may have this happiness too, if you will. I do not think we think enough of our great name of Christian.” ”

“ Some of the parties were very dull, for no effort was made by the instructor to impart a real delight in the Word of God to his pupils; and religion was made merely a matter of question and answer, to remain engraved in such heartless form on the repugnant mind of the learner. And, alas! how can it be otherwise, where the teacher himself does not know that religion is a real and happy thing, and not to be learned as we teach our boys the outlines of heathen mythology?
Sitting on the ground, lolling against one of the benches under a tree, sat Hastings Meredith and Reginald and Louis Mortimer ”

“ As he joined his companions, Trevannion remarked to Hamilton, “Little Mortimer is so much the gentleman, you never know him do or say any thing vulgar or awkward. It is a pity one can't depend upon him.”
“I am not quite sure that you cannot,” replied Hamilton.
“How!” said Trevannion, in astonishment.
“Are you going to turn Paladin for her ladyship?” asked Frank.
“I have been watching Louis very carefully, and the more I see, the more I doubt his guilt,” replied Hamilton.
“After what you saw yourself? After all that was seen by others? Impossible, my dear Hamilton!” exclaimed Trevannion. ”

“ Alas! how apt we are all to condemn our fellow-creatures; forgetting that, had we been throughout similarly situated, our course might have been the same, or even worse. “Who is it that has made us to differ from another?”
Louis, as I have mentioned, felt very deeply for Ferrers; for, besides their late close connection, had he not known what it was to suffer for sin? He knew what it was to carry about a heavy heart, and to wake in the morning as if life had no joy to give; and he knew, too, what it was to lay his sins at a Saviour's feet, and to take the light yoke upon him. ”

“ Reginald followed his brother into the study, where Louis took his books to learn more quietly than he could do in the school-room.
“My dear Louis,” he said, “you must try; the doctor will be so displeased if you go into a lower class; and just think what a disgrace it will be.”
“I know,” said Louis, wiping his eyes: “I can't tell how it is, every thing seems to go wrong with me—I am not at all happy, and I am sure I wish to please everybody.”
“A great deal too much, dear Louis,” said Reginald. “You are always teaching everybody else, and you know you have scarcely any time for yourself. ”

“ Ferrers then in broken sentences renewed his thanks, and Louis, after hearing a few in silence, as if he heard nothing, turned his full moist eyes on him with a sorrowful beseeching look,
“You have done a very wicked thing, Ferrers. Oh do pray to God to forgive you.”
“I will try to do any thing you wish,” replied Ferrers.
“A prayer because I wished, could do you no good. You must feel you have sinned against God. Do try to think of this. If it should make you do so, I think I could cheerfully bear this disgrace a little longer for you, though what it is to bear I cannot tell you.” ”

“ Do you know what you'll get if you give it back?”
“Whatever happens,” said Louis, “I feel I have done wrong—wrong in listening to you, too, Casson. Oh, if ever it please God to make me happy again, I hope I shall be more careful! I have been afraid to do right—I am afraid to think of all that has happened lately.”
“I always thought you were a canting hypocrite,” said Casson, sneeringly. “I never see that you religious people do any better than any one else. Go and get a thrashing, as you deserve, for your cowardice, only don't tell any lies about me. ”

“ Neville has as many faults as the generality of boys, but you must not forget how much longer he has begun the good fight than yourself; and the earlier we begin to struggle against the corruptions of our nature, the easier the task is; but, Louis, instead of wishing yourself like Neville, or any one else, think how you may approach most nearly to the high standard of excellence which is placed before us all.”
“But, father, how can I? What must I do?” sighed Louis. “You cannot tell how difficult it is to keep good resolutions. I fear I shall never be any better.” ”

“ Ferrers begins to be found out.
“Ferrers, you know it's all true,” said Louis.
Ferrers' face was white with passion and anxiety. “Get along with you, Alfred, you'd better not let me hear any more of your lies, I can tell you.”
“If you had not been listening you would not have heard,” replied Alfred, taking care to stand out of Ferrers' reach. “Listeners never hear any good of themselves, Mr. Ferrers: you know it's all true, and if I'd told Edward, you wouldn't have liked it.” ”

“ Ferrers threw himself full length inside the cart: and Louis, drawing Alfred to the shady side, seated himself by him on the grass. His example was followed by Churchill, who exclaimed rapturously as he did so, “How nice! This puts me in mind of a Latin sentence; I forget the Latin, but I remember the English—‘Oh, 'tis pleasant to sit in the shade!’ ”
“Of a wagon,” said Frank, laughing. “Remarkably romantic! It is so sweet to hear the birds chirp, and the distant hum of human voices—but language fails! As for Lady Louisa, she is in the Elysium of ecstasy. It's so romantic.” ”

“ Meredith looked angry, struggling with a feeling of shame, and a wish to laugh it off. “You are exclusively precise,” he said; “others are not, and have as much right to their opinion as you to yours. Trevannion, for instance—he's going into the church because it is so genteel.”
“I hope you are mistaken,” said Louis, quickly.
“Not I; I heard him say the same thing myself.”
“I am very sorry,” said Louis, sadly. “Oh! I would rather be a laborer than go into the church with such a wish—and yet, I had rather be a very poor curate than a rich duke: it is such a happy, holy life.” ”

“ Norman was on the point of speaking, but Hamilton continued in the same calm, irresistible manner:
“If Louis is vain, we are proud; and I should like to know which is the worst,—having an exalted opinion of ourselves, or craving the exalted opinion of others? We have not behaved well to Louis, poor fellow! we first spoiled him by over-indulgence and flattery, and when this recoils upon us, we visit all the evil heavily on him.”
“I only want to remark,” said Meredith, “that we had a right to expect more consistency in a professed saint.” ”

“ A glance at the changed and terror-stricken countenance of that school-fellow checked the exuberance of Louis' joy, for he was too sympathizing not to feel for him, and he said in a gentle tone,
“I am very sorry for you, Ferrers,—you have heard all that Alfred has said.”
“Louis Mortimer!” exclaimed Ferrers, in agony; and Louis was half alarmed by the wild despair of his manner, and the vehemence with which he seized his arm. “Louis Mortimer—it is all true—but what shall I do?” ”

“ There was no pity in his countenance—the dark lines in his face seemed fixed in their most iron mould; and briefly announcing to his trembling pupil that the time allowed him for consideration had expired, he asked whether he were prepared to acknowledge his fault. Louis meekly persisted in his denial, which had only the effect of making the doctor consider him a more hardened offender; and after a few words, expressing the strongest reprehension of his wickedness and cowardice, he gave him severe caning, and sent him immediately to bed, although it was but the middle of the day. ”

“ He who waits closely upon his God is sure to be enabled to serve him in the beauty of holiness: and those who thought at all about Louis could not but be struck with the wide difference between the gentle, humble, happy-looking boy, who bore so meekly what was unkindly done and spoken, and the equally industrious, but fevered, restless, anxious, and now rather irritable being, who toiled on day after day almost beyond his strength. ”

“ The last exclamations were elicited by a violent effort of Louis to extricate himself.
“Frank, leave him alone!”
“What is the will of royalty?” said Frank, struggling with his refractory cousin.
“That you leave Louis Mortimer alone,” said Hamilton. “You will like us better presently, Louis,” added he, shaking hands with him: “my subjects appear to consider themselves privileged to be rude to a new-comer; but my royal example will have its weight in due time.”
“Your majesty's faithful trumpeter, grand vizier, and factotum is alive and hearty,” said Frank. ”

“ Papa once said to me that the Bible is like a garden of flowers, through which a careless person may walk, and notice nothing, but that one who is really anxious to find flowers or herbs to cure his disease, will look carefully till he finds what he wants, and that some happy and eager seekers will find pleasure in all.”
“Louis, you are very happy,” said Ferrers, “though very strange. I would give a world, were it mine, to lay this heavy burden of mine down somewhere, and be as light in disgrace as you are.” ”

“ Mortimer, laying his hand on Louis' shoulder; “tell me, what is the grace of God?”
“God's favor and help,” replied Louis.
“And to whom is this promised?”
“To all who will ask for it, father.”
“And will you say you can do nothing? Oh, my dear son! God is a God of all grace, and can give to each of us what we need for every emergency. Without Him, we can, indeed, do nothing, but with Him we may do all things; and blessed be His name for this unspeakable gift by which He works in man a gradual restoration to more than his primeval condition. ”

“ Just as they passed out, Mr. Witworth, the usher, approached Louis, and asked him if he could lend him a pencil. Louis laid his pen down, and began to search his pockets for a pencil he knew should be there, when he was startled by the ejaculation of the master:
“Hey!—what!—This is it, is it? So I have found you out, sir.”
Louis looked up in alarm. “Found me out, sir?” he said, in a terrified tone: “what have I done?”
“Done!” exclaimed Mr. Witworth,—“done, indeed: what are you doing there?”
“My exercise, sir.”
“To be sure, to be sure. What's the meaning of this, sir?” and he held up the key. ”

“ Mentally putting himself in Louis' place, he acknowledged that no persuasion could have induced him to act so generously and disinterestedly; and knowing the keen sensitiveness of Louis to disgrace, he wondered how one so alive to the opinion of others, and naturally so yielding and wavering, could steadily and uncomplainingly persevere in his benevolent purpose; for not by word or sign did Louis even hint the truth to Reginald—the usual depository of his cares and secrets. ”

“ I don't wonder he has such a horror of a joke; I should think the dear man never was guilty of such a crime in his life himself; or he has a strong imagination; or, perhaps, a bad opinion of your humble servant—all the same—the cause doesn't much signify; the effect's what one looks at.”
“Something dreadfully mysterious,” said Reginald.
Hamilton was silent. He watched anxiously Frank's varying countenance, the twitching of which, as well as the thick, quick tone in which he spoke, betrayed great excitement. ”

“ You only think about that and do it at once; and because I have so many friends, and even care about pleasing those I do not like, I am always getting into scrapes, and always doing wrong. I think there never was anybody so bad as I am. I wish papa hadn't sent me to school.”
“I like you very much,” said Clifton; “and I am sure you have done me good—on Sunday, at least.”
“Ah, it is much easier to know and talk of what is right than to do it,” replied Louis, sighing very deeply. “Oh, domum, dulce domum! But there is Reginald, and I must go and ask him a question.” ”

“ Louis answered in the affirmative.
“I did not much like him, only one doesn't judge people fairly at first, often.”
“Oh, Hamilton's such a good creature!” exclaimed Louis, in his energy letting fall one end of a skein of silk he was holding. He gathered it up, apologized, and resumed his defence of his friend.
“He is, perhaps, a little blunt, but he is so sincere, and so steady and kind, Dr. Wilkinson is very, very fond of him, I know; he makes me sit by him every night, and I learn my lessons with him. I am sure if it were not for him I should be terribly behind Clifton.” ”

“ While he spoke, there was a buz of inquiry at the lower end of the school, and those who knew the story crowded eagerly up to the dais to speak to Louis. Alfred's voice was very distinct, for he had worked himself up to his brother:
“Edward, tell me all about it. I'm sure if I'd known I'd have told. I didn't know why Louis was so joyful.”
Edward could answer nothing: his heart was as full as the doctor's, and with almost overflowing eyes and a trembling step, he pushed his way to Louis, who had thrown himself on Reginald and was sobbing violently. ”

“ Thank God, Mortimer, that you have been spared so terrible a punishment. But you will always be in danger of this unless you learn to put a curb on your hasty temper. The same feelings which urge you into a quarrel as a boy, will hurry you into the duel as a man. It is a false spirit of honor and manliness that makes you so ready to resent every little insult. ”

“ Pale with anxiety, he affected to notice nothing, and looked for a place at one of the tables where he might lay the books he had brought in with him. The silence, however, had made Hamilton now very conscious of what, till this moment, he had been in blissful ignorance—that his voice was raised to nearly a shouting pitch to make his admonitions sufficiently impressive to his protegé—and the sonorous tones of his voice, delivering an emphatic oration on weakness and perseverance contrasted, were so remarkable that the attention was a little drawn from Ferrers by this unusual phenomenon. ”

“ He had scarcely left the school-room when Trevannion met him, and volunteered to accompany him.
“I shall be very glad of your company,” said Hamilton; “I am going to choose the music. You may stare when I talk of choosing music—it is well I have so powerful an auxiliary, or I am afraid I should not give much satisfaction to our committee of taste.”
“What powerful auxiliary are you depending on?” said Trevannion; “I shall be a poor one.”
“You—oh, yes!” exclaimed Hamilton; “a very poor one, I suspect. I was speaking of Louis Mortimer; he is going with me.” ”

“ And against his better judgment, Louis spent half an hour in hearing this idle youth a lesson, which, with a little extra trouble he might easily have mastered himself in three quarters of an hour.
“Thank you, Louis, you're a capital fellow; I know it now, don't I?”
“I think so,” replied Louis; “and now you must not talk to me.”
“What are you doing?” said Churchill, looking at his book; “oh, ‘Kenrick's Greek Exercises.’ If I can't tell you, I can help you to something that will. Here's a key.” ”

“ There was a dead silence, for Hamilton's address had something solemn in it. He added, after a short pause—
“I feel that we seniors have an immense responsibility: the power of doing much good or harm lies with us. I have been far too selfish and indifferent: Trevannion, will you forgive the thoughtless words that so justly offended you, but which, I assure you, had only the meaning of an angry emotion?” ”

“ Frank stooped to pick up the penny, and was some minutes finding it. When he rose, he said:
“One will grow old in time, but it's hard to pay so dearly for good spirits. However, you couldn't expect such a flow cheap, I suppose,” he added, with a little laugh.
“You must have mistaken him,” said Trevannion; “he couldn't have meant it.”
“I am not in the habit of taking offence at nothing,” replied Frank. “Nay, I can be as purposely obtuse as any one when I choose, but one couldn't be blind.”
“What did he say?” said Reginald. ”

“ Louis was very humble, and longed to throw open all his troubles to his master, the only person who had spoken kindly and sensibly to him since his disgrace, yet foolishly afraid to declare the whole truth to him, especially as, by the doctor's recommendation to him to follow the example of his friends Hamilton and Clifton, he found that his master was not aware that Hamilton was so much displeased with him. Unhappily, Dr. Wilkinson did not know of Louis' intimacy with Casson, nor had Casson been long enough with him to enable him to know more of him than as an idle, troublesome dunce. ”

“ The event furnished idle conversation enough for that evening, and it was long before it was forgotten; and, in spite of Frank's reiterated boast that he did not care, and his apparent participation in the mirth occasioned by his failure, it required the utmost exercise of his habitual good-humor to bear equally the untiring teasing of his school-fellows, and the still more trying coldness and sarcasm of his master, whose manner very perceptibly altered towards him for some time after. ”

“ I must take care then.”
“Come, Frank, have done,” cried one of his class-fellows, “can't you leave Louis Mortimer alone—it doesn't signify to you.”
“I only meant to admonish him by a gentle hint, that he must not presume to contradict gentlemen whose honor and veracity may at least be on a par with his own.”
“Frank,” said Louis, “I cannot think how you can suppose me guilty of such meanness.”
“The least said, the soonest mended,” remarked Salisbury. “We must have large powers of credence where you are concerned. Clear off your old scores, and then we will begin a new one with you.” ”