Edgar Wallace

“ When you talk about sensible young women, you mean plain young women."
"That's true," said Bones; "I never thought of that. What a naughty old mind you have, Ham."
He seemed inclined to change the subject.
"And now, dear old son," said Bones, with a brisk return to his what-can-I-do-for-you air, "to business! You've come, dear old thing, to consult me."
"You're surprisingly right," said Hamilton.
"Well," said Bones, trying three drawers of his desk before he could find one that opened, "have a cigar, and let us talk." ”

“ I know the Company well. Makes a huge profit! You can see the car all over the town. I think the jolly old Partridge——"
"Plover," said Hamilton.
"Plover, I mean. They've got another kind of car called the Partridge," explained Bones. "Why, it's one of the best in the market. I thought of buying one myself. And to think that I put you off that Company! Tut, tut! Anyway, dear old man," he said, brightening up, "most of the good fish is in the sea, and it only goes bad when it comes out of the sea. ”

“ Bones went home to his office with a new set of notes, and wired to Hamilton, asking him to come on the following day.
It was a great scheme that Bones worked out that night, with the aid of the sceptical Miss Whitland. His desk was piled high with technical publications dealing with the motor-car industry. The fact that he was buying the Company in order to rescue a friend's investment passed entirely from his mind in the splendid dream he conjured from his dubious calculations.
The Plover car should cover the face of the earth. ”

“ They've got a wretched broken-down factory somewhere in the North, and the only Plover car that's ever been built was made by a Scottish contractor at a cost of about twice the amount which the Company people said that they would charge for it."
"What did I say?" said Bones quietly. "Poor old soul, I do not give advice without considering matters, especially to my dearest friend. A company like this is obviously a swindle. You can tell by the appearance of the cars——"
"There was only one car ever made," interrupted Hamilton. ”

“ What are the eggs you eat?"
"I seldom eat eggs," said the girl quietly, "but when I do they are the eggs of the common domestic fowl."
"It ain't him," said Bones, shaking his head. "No, it's—I've got it—Plover—the Plover Light Car Company."
The girl made a note on her pad.
"I want you to get the best men in London to search out this Company. If necessary, get two private detectives, or even three. Set them to work at once, and spare no expense. I want to know who's running the company—I'd investigate the matter myself, but I'm so fearfully busy—and where their offices are. ”

“ Bones produced a dinky little pocket-book from his waistcoat and read his notes, or, rather, attempted to read his notes. Presently he gave it up and trusted to his memory.
"You've got forty thousand pounds subscribed to your Company," he said. "Now, I'll tell you what I'm willing to do—I will take over your shares at a price."
Mr. Soames swallowed hard. Here was one of the dreams of his life coming true.
"There are four million shares issued," Bones went on, consulting his notebook. ”

“ She inclined her head and walked out of the room, and Bones cleared his throat once more.
"Bones——"
The young man turned to meet Hamilton's accusing eye.
"Bones," said Hamilton gently, "who is the lady?"
"Who is the lady?" repeated Bones, with a cough. "The lady is my secretary, dear old inquisitor."
"So I gather," said Hamilton.
"She is my secretary," repeated Bones. "An extremely sensible young woman, extremely sensible."
"Don't be silly," said Hamilton. "Plenty of people are sensible. ”

“ I don't suppose any other young woman in London would have——"
"Oh, yes, they would," she said. "You'd already told me. I suppose that you've forgotten it."
"Well, to cut a long story short, dear old Miss Marguerite," said Bones, leaning confidentially on the table and talking down into her upturned lace, "I must find the whereabouts of a certain rascal or rascals, trading or masquerading, knowingly or unknowingly, to the best of my knowledge and belief, as the——" He stopped and frowned. "Now, what the dickens was the name of that bird?" he said. ”

“ He read an article on mass production, showing how a celebrated American produced a thousand or a hundred thousand cars a day—he wasn't certain which—and how the car, in various parts, passed along an endless table, between lines of expectant workmen, each of whom fixed a nut or unfixed a nut, so that, when the machine finally reached its journey's end, it left the table under its own power.
Bones designed a circular table, so that, if any of the workmen forgot to fix a bar or a nut or a wheel, the error could be rectified when the car came round again. ”

“ Bones put out his lean paw and solemnly shook the girl's hand.
"If," he said, with a tremble in his voice, "if there's a typewriter in London that knows more than you, my jolly old Marguerite, I'll eat my head."
On which lines he made his exit.
Five minutes later the girl came into the office with a slip of paper.
"The Plover Motor Car Company is registered at 604, Gracechurch Street," she said. "It has a capital of eighty thousand pounds, of which forty thousand pounds is paid up. It has works at Kenwood, in the north-west of London, and the managing director is Mr. Charles O. Soames." ”

“ What with the state of the labour market, and the deuced ingratitude of the working classes, it's positively heartbreaking—it is, indeed, dear old Ham."
And then and there he changed the whole plan and went out of industrials for good. ”