Edward Hart

“ Sam was reformed in spite of himself. For the sake of peace he put up with rumpled hair, moist and slimy kisses and greasy fingerprints on his coat. Such is the mollifying discipline babies hand around in humanizing their elders.
The naming of the baby had been a dreadful ordeal, and nearly ended in a rupture between Sam and Tilly.
“We do not know her name,” said Sam, “so we had better give her one which is merely descriptive; then when her real name is divulged there will be less temptation to ignore it. I propose to call her Monday October Jones until we discover her real name. ”

“ When the time comes for putting in wheat I know of nothing more enjoyable than hauling out manure and spreading it on the field. The smell is appetizing, and like most perfume, it clings. The flies are active and make the horses playful. I seldom enjoy life so much as then; and it worries me that the dear ladies are not privileged to participate.”
“Sam is right,” said Anita, “The women are privileged to bring up the children. They bear the brunt of their childish impatience, recklessness and disobedience. ”

“ I then tried various additions to the green oat straw with the object of finding some substance capable of uniting with and destroying the phenol. This I have at last succeeded in finding; and I am now in possession of a reagent which will so far destroy any of these phenols contained in food, that old age is indefinitely arrested. This as you will see places a dreadful responsibility in my hands. This is not the Secret of Perpetual Youth exactly, for I cannot so far restore youth to the aged—I can only arrest decay. By feeding this antidote to a baby it may remain a baby forever. ”

“ Houses were burned, churches were robbed and cattle were lifted. No one was sure of his life or property. Landless men were organized as bands of robbers making the highways unsafe. As a direct consequence of this waste of life and treasure the French lands won by Edward the Third, his son, the Black Prince, and Harry the Fifth were rapidly lost by the incapable Duke of Suffolk until only Calais and a strip of territory in the south of France remained.
With all his goodness the sixth Henry was but a feeble king, not ruling but ruled by his imperious wife and rugged, warlike barons. ”

“ The rider of the stricken horse crawled into the bushes from which he was quickly hauled and despatched, after which the men gathered around the man desperately wounded.
“Mercy! mercy! Sir John,” shrieked the stricken man looking at John, “Spare me! spare me! I am not fit to die!”
“Thou wilt die, sure enough,” said Steve, “thy right lung is shot through, but why call him Sir John? ’Tis but John Fenchurch.”
“’Tis the ghost of Sir John Jernyngan whom I stabbed at Bordeaux. Mercy! mercy!”
“He raves,” said Steve, “get along, John, out of his sight.”
“Leave him with me,” said Jed. ”

“ After breakfast next morning Billy produced a map of the city for each member of the party. “A taxicab is coming at eight,” he began, “to take us to the place where our excursion starts. I’m going to walk part of the way; the rest of you may do so or ride, just as you please.”
“Where are we going?” said Tilly.
“We are going to circumnavigate the city,” said Billy. “I doubt whether you know your own town. Most people do not. If we first go around it, and then go through all the streets and alleys you will know it on the outside at least. ”

“ There was a threat of rain in the air as the sullen clouds drifted past over the moon. As they returned to the car, which had been left in a side street, a tiny muffled wail greeted them: “Gracious! it’s a cat,” said Tilly. “Good Lord! it’s a baby!” ”

“ But on the whole she inclined toward Arma, for Gaudeamus did not sound like a female. So the baby was named Arma Virumque Jones.
Arma was a romantic little soul. She thirsted for the unusual and wonderful. As she grew to girlhood she invested those dear to her with imaginary virtues. Tilly was a lovely and stately lady and Sam the personification of all that was noble and good. She was a beautiful girl, with curly brown hair and a clean mind. With her twelfth birthday began her affairs of the heart. Her first flame was a beautiful Italian boy who dwelt in an old house in the alley. ”

“ The miller was a little Gnome who lived in the mill with his wife and daughter. The mother had once been beautiful, but hard work had made her old before her time. Her face was wrinkled; there were crow’s feet in the corners of her eyes; her steps were slow and feeble and her hair was growing gray.
The daughter was a very beautiful and charming girl; she was happy-hearted. She moved around quickly, helping her mother wash the dishes, sweep the floor, put wood on the fire, take up the ashes, milk the cow and feed the pigs and chickens. ”

“ Sam and Tilly were reading and Arma was getting out her lessons, when a resounding knock on the door was heard, and a great big, strong, jolly man burst in, shook hands with Sam and noisily proclaimed how glad he was to see “this darn old fraud” once more.
Sam’s face lighted with pleasure as he welcomed him and introduced him as “Billy Gesundheit, my old friend and comrade in Pittsburgh.”
“My word, what a name!” thought Tilly, “But what a fine looking man. He seems too good to be true.” This was during her trip upstairs to inspect the guest room where he was to spend the night. ”

“ Then along came a baker’s cart. “Hi!” said Reddy, “Here’s the Staff of Life!” So saying, he pulled out his pistol and fired at the tire. There was a bang and rattle, just as if a pane of glass had fallen on the sidewalk, and the baker’s cart began to wabble and pound on the road. “Ho!” said the baker’s 13boy who was driving, “there goes a tire.” He got down and went around the car. Just then Reddy came rushing up.
“Hands up for pie!” said he.
The baker’s boy was so frightened that he ran and jumped into the canal, swam across and hid behind some trees. ”

“ I have formed a great many hypotheses to account for the ageing of plants and animals, but under the test of experiment these have all broken down one after another. Recently, however, it occurred to me that perhaps the ageing might be due to the formation of resinous substances in the tissues by the combination of two substances one contained in the food the other in the tissues. You will remember that the insoluble resin, bakelite, is formed by the union of an aldehyde and a phenol under suitable temperature conditions. ”

“ What a fuss they make when we do and how glad they seem to be to see us. I have been something of a traveler in a small way and everywhere I have gone, and been able to turn aside to visit the boys, I have met the most cordial welcome. This is one of the rewards that come to the teacher who has tried to do his best. Sometimes he comes in contact with people from distant lands in strange ways; and it is about one of these strange happenings that I am about to tell.
After I had been teaching for several years I married Sally Lunn, the daughter of a local baker. ”

“ I am selfish and I would like to have you both; but, oh, my dear boy! I am so glad to have found you.” Jack said nothing but she turned her face to conceal the tears.
They had been many days on the road. That afternoon they crossed the Funeral Range into Death Valley. The rocks of this range are black, rough, crumbly and forbidding. It is a bad climbing ground for the rocks are rotten and afford very insecure support. As they were slowly and painfully groping their way down into the valley a rock upon which he was standing gave way and he came sliding down in an avalanche of stones and dirt. ”

“ One of the boarders disturbed us, too. He was a minister and a very good young man, but when he wanted a piece of pie he looked straight at it, like a pointer dog, until some one asked him to have a piece. I had boarded for two years and I was growing tired of boarding. My position as a teacher in Rochambeau College was pleasant but I was growing restless.
The next Saturday I started to drive my car to Trenton. I was fond of reading, and it was my custom to visit Traver’s bookstore in Trenton or Leary’s in Philadelphia and purchase several books at a time. ”

“ Fissure springs, from deep faults in the earth’s crust let out small streams of water from sources far remote; sometimes fit to drink; sometimes loaded with salts in solution and sometimes hot. Such a spring is that which gives rise to Willow Creek which rises among the niter hills of the Great Basin and empties into the Amargosa River a short distance below its source. Alas for the name! The Amargosa “River” turns out on examination to be a stream scarce large enough to turn a mill. After a run of less than 25 miles it sinks into the sands to rise no more. ”

“ Everywhere, inside and outside of Rome, were foundations of buildings of the oldest masonry upon which a second structure had been erected, to be in turn destroyed and serve as the foundation of another erection, but still leaving visible remains. ”

“ Jim Barkley was not present because he was looking for another job in New York. Sally and I have been married now for twenty years and have two fine 175boys in college. Sally is getting as round as a dumpling, but I like her so much I never notice what she looks like. Neither do the boys. So much kindness shines from her eyes when she looks at us that we see nothing else. ”

“ If, now, the aldehyde like body formed part of the tissue, and the phenol were contained in the food and passed unchanged into the circulation, we should have slow combination and the formation of hard material—perhaps also material in the form of fibers and therefore flexible—within the tissues, which would cause them to harden and stiffen, inducing the other changes we ascribe to old age. ”

“ There are high banks which shelve off rapidly into deeper water. Along the edges solemn shadows form as the sun sets, and here the big bullies gather and croak in solemn tones: Man—yunk! Man—yunk! Man—yunk! ”

“ When Sam awoke to the state of affairs he knew the second bomb had fallen and might burst at any minute.
79 Bomb the Third Arma’s first loves were merely fancies. Having no substantial foundation they died as soon as born. Sam and Tilly had made no secret of her origin and she was spared a shock when she learned it of those pests of society whom, like the poor and Congress, we have always with us. She was a great reader and devoured all the books she could obtain. Among these was Charlotte Bronte’s story of “The Professor.” ”

“ Sam had a poor opinion of college men. Part of this low rating was no doubt prejudice and part was due to the fact that he was not a college man himself. He saw very clearly, however, that many college men acquire only a fine polish. The process fails to get enough paint on the rough wood of the foundation to hide the coarse grain which shows through in all its crudity. ”

“ The food gained by begging was supplemented by petty thefts of chickens, eggs, green corn and other produce and the snaring of rabbits and other small game.
Just above Milford, New Jersey, the Delaware River breaks through a ridge of New Red Sandstone, forming a cliff of red rock, the color of which is due to peroxid 100of iron, facing the south. Along these cliffs there are many ledges; and in the winter, as the sun beats against these ledges, it heats the rocks and creates an atmosphere several degrees warmer than that of the surrounding country. ”

“ After all are educated up to this point, the tests should gradually be toughened until only those really fit can vote. They should be made to vote every time. Gradually, in this way, every man can learn how to milk cows, 118husk corn, run a plow and chase the pigs out of the oats. The women will be able to darn stockings, bake bread, sew shirts and run a bridge party.
By the time these ideas are put to work the millennium will be close at hand and we need no longer flee from the tax gatherer or hide from the bond salesman. ”

“ We are accustomed, as you are aware, when traveling into new ground to form first an hypothesis as an explanation of the facts known to us. Beginning with this hypothesis, we first reason out the consequences which must follow if the hypothesis should be the real explanation. We then proceed to test these consequences by experiment. We then reason out other necessary consequences of the hypothesis and proceed further with our tests. If the results of our tests confirm 54the hypothesis it presently becomes a theory and in course of time a law. ”

“ If now these phenol bodies are contained in the plant and animal juices constituting our foods they must be contained in those that are short lived in largest amount, and it should be possible to bring on old age much more rapidly by feeding short lived plants. For this purpose I used first oat straw, but I found this did not produce the desired effect. On further consideration it seemed 55unlikely that it should: for the ripe, and therefore dead, straw would contain only the resin and neither aldehyde nor phenol. ”

“ There was once a band of robbers who lived in a cave on the side of this big mountain. They stole sheep and pigs and chickens from the farmers who lived in the valley. Once they had no bread, and the chief robber said: “Go and steal all the eggs you can find and we will trade them for bread at the store.” So they all went out to steal eggs except one. He was a red-headed robber and he said: “I think I am for Direct Action. I don’t believe in this roundabout business of stealing eggs and then trading them for bread. Besides I should like to have some pie and cake also.” ”

“ Sometimes they took long walks together in the woods. Woozy would run off among the trees but pretty soon he would come back to the boy and look up in his face and say: “woof,” which meant why don’t you come along and have some fun? Once robbers tried to steal the boy, but Woozy growled and showed his teeth until the robbers ran away.
One day the boy was crossing a pasture field. There was a cross bull there lying down behind some bushes. When he saw the boy he began pawing the dirt and then he ran after him. Woozy grabbed the bull’s tail and held on till the bull turned around. ”

“ Bomb the First Sam and Tilly loved the movies. They formed a background of romance to their prosaic lives. They read, eagerly, all they could find in print about the stars of 70moviedom and were well acquainted with the features of the prominent actors. ”

“ In 1461, John was present at the rout of the Yorkists at the second battle of St. Albans and escaped with difficulty. In March of the same year he also took part in the decisive battle of Towton where the hopes of Henry the sixth and his Queen found their grave. This was a fiercely fought field where the mallets of lead crushed many a skull. In the nick of time the troops of the Duke 149of Norfolk arrived and the Lancastrians broke and fled. ”