Florence Marryat

“ But now that I have returned, you must come out more, Henry. It is quite time you came back to the world. It is—let me see!—quite nine months or more, surely, since that poor girl met with her death—’
‘Stop! stop!’ cried Henry suddenly. ‘What poor girl? What are you talking about?’
Arthur looked bewildered.
‘Why! Miss Crampton, or rather Mrs Walcheren, of course. It was her death, wasn’t it, that led to the other. You must have felt it terribly. Such a sudden shock, and when you regarded her as almost one of the family.’
‘Oh! no, I didn’t,’ replied Hindes, in an incoherent manner. ”

“ Hannah! it is useless to ignore the fact. My doom is fixed! If it is not the gallows, it is public and utter disgrace.’
All the woman rose in Hannah’s breast at these words, and the man before her was one to be protected and solaced and thought for.
‘It shall be neither, my dearest,’ she answered firmly; ‘only trust to me. I have pondered over the difficulties that might happen in your case, Henry, and I think I have found a way out of them. You are tired and worn out with misery and suspense, my poor love. Let me think for you. You must go to your room now, and try to rest. ”

“ Done growing! And Wally was not yet three years old. Henry Hindes would groan within himself, and say that it was impossible. He could not be kept so long in suspense. He must know at once. He almost felt sometimes as if he would rather his boy had been killed outright, than condemned to such a lingering illness as this promised to be. He could not bear it! He could not! He could not!
During those days of mortification and miserable impatience, how more than vividly Jenny Crampton’s fair image returned to his memory to torture him. ”

“ At last Frederick Walcheren understood that he must say something, or his conduct would be open to misconstruction, but his voice sounded like that of an old man; no need to disguise it now.
‘Absolution,’ he replied, ‘is for the truly penitent. There, you are right! But the truly penitent make amends, for the wrongs they have committed, to the world as well as to God. A foul, uncalled-for murder needs expiation according to the law, as well as before heaven. The blood of your victim cries to you from the ground. ”

“ Father Tasker, I have had many doubts, as you know, since entering the Church, whether I have not made a grave mistake, but I have none at the present moment. I see that I have put myself in a wrong position. Had I had the least idea of what I have heard to-day—had I imagined, however vaguely, that my precious wife had come unfairly by the death which I always believed to be due to an accident, nothing would have induced me to bind myself by any vows but those which should bring her murderer to justice. ”

“ He knew me then and ran away, horrified, no doubt, at his own indiscretion. And now, father, tell me what steps can I take? To whom should I go? I feel as if I could not pass through the Sunday services with this black secret in my keeping. Tell me downright, what shall I do?’
Father Tasker looked at him sadly.
‘You should know better than to ask me. You can do nothing!’
‘Nothing? Are you laughing at my agony?’
‘God forbid! I am grieving for this fresh pain you are called upon to endure, more than I can say. But I repeat, you can do nothing. ”

“ I do not love my husband, Arthur? I know far more of him than you do, and could have saved you the trouble of bringing a mad doctor to gloat upon his infirmities. Henry is unhappy, poor darling! He has been unhappy ever since his partner’s death, and his nerves have become unstrung. He is foolish, perhaps, to take so much morphia, but it soothes and relieves him, and anything is better than that he should suffer. ”

“ She was murdered! Killed by a man! Pushed over those cruel cliffs!—oh! my poor darling, why did I let you leave my sight for one moment? Why was I not there to protect you from his villainy?—and dashed to pieces on the beach beneath, out of a spirit of wicked jealousy and revenge! And I have come to ask you to tell me, as a man, what shall I do? Think of the days when you were free, when you, too, perhaps, loved and lost, and advise me how to act, to bring this murderer to justice?’
Father Tasker was visibly affected by this recital. ”

“ You lay a task on me that I am unable to fulfil.’
‘You shock me,’ said the old priest. ‘You are indeed right, with such feelings, to say you should never have accepted the office you fill. What are you saying? You cannot, and you will not, and it is unnatural that you should. You forget you are no longer a free agent, but must do as the Church commands you—not as you think, or feel.’
‘The Church may unfrock me, but she cannot unmake me a man, with all a man’s feelings and desires. My love I buried in the grave with my darling, cheerfully, for the Church’s sake. ”

“ You are not master of yourself, Henry! That dreadful morphia makes you just the same as if you were intoxicated. It is killing you, body and soul. You take far too much of it. You must give it up. Oh! do promise me, Hal, to try and do without it. Half your time you are so stupid, you don’t know what you are saying or doing. Even the servants see the alteration in you. Do give it up, Henry. ”

“ I don’t wish to bring more discredit on my faith and family than I need, so I shall make my home in a new land, and never offend their sight or hearing again. I am penniless, as you know. Every farthing of my fine fortune has gone into the coffers of the Church. I can’t say I don’t regret it, for I do; but I must accept the loss as part of the penalty of not knowing my own mind.’
‘Money does not make all the happiness of this world,’ said Rhoda, softly. ”

“ He would not insult his Maker by addressing Him whilst in so earthly a mood. Father Grogan, who usually remained on his knees for about an hour after service, heaved a sigh as he saw the newly-ordained priest tear out of the church as if he had had more than enough of it, and put up an extra petition, good soul, for his impatient and undisciplined companion.
But Frederick Walcheren knew nothing of it. He was hastening with all dispatch, and in a state of the greatest excitement, to seek an interview with his superior. But Father Henniker was unable to see him. ”

“ Frederick Walcheren was nearly rushing out of the confessional and seizing his penitent by the throat; but he restrained himself in time. But he could not speak plainly. He sat in his box, paralysed with horror and his desire for revenge. How could he fail to guess what was coming! The murderer of his Jenny knelt before him. He knew it for a certainty, but he forced himself to reply,—
‘Go on! Tell all!’
‘I loved her,’ wailed Henry Hindes; ‘I would have given my life for hers at any time, but she preferred another man, and ran away and married him. ”

“ I have no power to pronounce [Pg 111] absolution over you until you have made what reparation the law demands.’
‘Do you mean that I must confess it before men?’ asked Hindes, in a cold sweat with terror.
‘Most certainly! You owe it to all of whom you stole her life! You think only of your own misery and fear! What of her husband’s—her parents’—the society which delighted in her youth, and beauty, and innocence? Make your peace with them first, and then ask forgiveness of God.’
‘Oh! I cannot, I cannot! I am a married man myself. I have a wife and children dependent on me! ”

“ You would have been condemned to be burnt at the stake!’
‘Should I?’ retorted Rhoda. ‘Well, I should not think much of a religion that could do that!’
‘They both did it,’ replied Frederick, ‘the Protestants as well as the Catholics! Everyone who differed from them in opinion, had to pay the penalty of their rashness.’
‘Then I shouldn’t have thought much of either of them,’ said the girl. ‘Fred! religion was meant to bring us nearer God, not farther from Him. The Church is not God, the priests are not God, the Bible, prayer—all these—are only so many helps to bring us nearer Him. ”

“ Had this wretched man told you of his sin anywhere else than where he did—had you been with him in the open street, or in your private rooms, you would be justified in refusing to keep his secret for him, even though you are a priest. But he came to you, believing that he was safe in speaking openly to a confessor; therefore, to betray his confidence would be to perjure yourself, and without effecting your object. You could not take the secrets of the confessional into an open court of law as witness of a man’s guilt. ”

“ Good-night, dear Arthur and Edie. Thanks so much,’ and, with that, she drew him quickly away.
When they had disappeared, Captain and Mrs Hindes looked at each other in sorrowful surprise.
‘What is the matter with him?’ asked Edith of Arthur. ‘Is he mad?’
‘I am very much inclined to believe it,’ replied her husband. ‘There is certainly something very wrong about him, and I shall speak to a doctor on the subject to-morrow. Hannah says he has refused to see anybody, but, when a man begins to be as unreasonable as this, it is time his friends acted for him. ”

“ It is your own thoughts that take bodily shape to haunt you. But this sad accident calls loudly for reparation and repentance. Confess your sins to God, Henry. Ask Him to forgive them—tell Him everything—your unhallowed wishes and desires, your hasty temper and revenge, your disregard of advice and entreaty. ”

“ This Mr Walcheren is as much dead to you, Rhoda, as if he was in his grave, where I’m sure I wish to goodness he had been before he had ever met you, and so you must try not to think of him, and that’s why I’d like to see a few more miles put between you. It does you no good to live so near London.’
‘Mother,’ said the girl, as she dried her wet eyes, ‘if you imagine for a moment that I think of Fred in any other light than that of another woman’s husband, you are very much mistaken. ”

“ Does confession really relieve your mind? Does it make your sins fall off you like an old garment? My friends have told me so, but I cannot believe it.’
‘Oh, sir, your friends were right, indeed. It is the greatest comfort anyone can have. Why, when the priest absolves you, they are all gone. You not only need not trouble yourself about them again, but you are strictly forbidden to do so. It would be doubting God’s goodness, and the power He has imparted to His priests. Oh, sir, do try it, only just once,’ continued the woman, who saw in Hindes a possible convert. ”

“ But it was hard on her—very, very hard, that she should suffer, through her little son, for his father’s sins. Hannah sat by the baby’s side, thinking these sad thoughts throughout the day, and when night fell, and Wally was asleep, she wrestled with Heaven in prayer that the cup might pass away from her. Yet she knew, even while she prayed, that it is part of the world’s plan that the innocent shall suffer for the guilty, and often more than they suffer themselves. ”

“ Arthur sat down beside her again, and took her hand.
‘My dear Hannah,’ he said, ‘I feel sure that all the dear old man wants is a complete change. He has been brooding over these sad deaths of the Cramptons, and that, added to business matters being a great anxiety, and this confounded neuralgia driving him half crazy, has had a great effect upon his mind. But, if he went right away, it would work a miracle for him. Come, dear girl, think over my proposal a second time, and bring him to Switzerland, with Edie and me.’
‘No, no, no; anything but that,’ said Hannah, shaking her head. ”

“ His reappearance in the office was so far beneficial that a business never proceeds so well and regularly as when the head of it is absent; but Hindes had almost rendered himself incapable, by this time, of taking any active part in the management of affairs, which he left entirely to his two chief men, Abercorn and Bloxam, whilst he sat brooding in his private room, or wandered restlessly about the streets, waiting for the doctors’ verdict respecting Wally, and wondering how much longer they would keep him in suspense. ”

“ Once Henry was out of England, she would seek an interview with Mr Walcheren, and ask his forbearance for the sake of her poor children, who would have their innocent lives stained by the publicity of their father’s crime. Once her husband was safe, she was sure she could arrange everything to her own satisfaction, and, when she joined him, they would begin a new life, unshadowed by fear or deceit. ”

“ But this—this heinous murder, which cries aloud to God’s Throne for vengeance—is not the same thing. If murderers and such like criminals are to believe that, by coming to us and depositing their vile secrets in the confessional, they may obtain relief and absolution, the Church will be turned into a depository for crime—a sink hole of wickedness without any judgment to follow.’
‘Whatever you may think, Frederick, the fact remains that, as a priest, you cannot reveal this terrible secret, nor even breathe a hint that you have heard it. ”

“ How could I have, when Jenny’—here Hannah’s tears commenced to flow and her utterance became choked with her sobs—‘when she was my very, very dearest friend? No one mourned her [Pg 200] loss more than I did, and to think—to think— But my wretched husband has lived in hell since that miserable day. He has never known one happy moment. If any man ever repented a sin, he has done his. Can you not find it in your heart, Mr Walcheren, to show him a little mercy? It would be very noble of you if you would. Henry shall never annoy you by his presence again. ”