George A. Birmingham

“ You don't realise, Major, what a restless animal the modern Member of Parliament is. He never stops long in one place. He can't, you know. The British Empire has grown so enormously of late that the Members of Parliament simply have to dart round to get a look at it at all. Besides, even if Higginbotham does see them it won't matter. I have everything fixed up for to-morrow. By the evening we'll have our hands on the treasure and be in a position to laugh at the whole Government. Ah! there's the kettle boiling."
A few minutes later Meldon entered the cabin with the teapot in his hand. ”

“ Well, sugar candy, then—it's all the same. It wouldn't make any difference if it was peppermint lozenges. You worry and threaten the poor child about a pennyworth of some ridiculous sweetmeat, and then you profess to be astonished that the old man won't give up his house to you. I'd have been very much surprised indeed if he did under the circumstances. No man likes to have his grandchildren ragged. You wouldn't like it yourself if you had any. And a little girl, too! Higginbotham, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. ”

“ I can tell you there are some mighty smart men in Parliament now. It just happens, Higginbotham, that this morning, while you were chasing and ballyragging that unfortunate little Mary Kate round and round the island for the sake of a bit of sugar candy, I was having a quiet chat with Thomas O'Flaherty Pat. ”

“ I'm past caring."
"An alibi," said Meldon, "is what they call it when a man is in another place from where the prosecuting counsel wants him to be. Now I don't want old O'Flaherty down on the pier to-morrow morning when we land. I don't want Higginbotham either. For the matter of that I don't particularly care about seeing Mary Kate there. So I've settled things in such a way that they'll all three of them be somewhere else between half-past eight and half-past nine to-morrow morning. That's the alibi. See?" ”

“ It doesn't matter to us whether Mary Kate has a mother or not. The point is that somewhere behind Mary Kate there's a competent woman, a grandmother, or an aunt, or a deceased wife's sister—it doesn't in the least matter which. Whoever she is she can bake. ”

“ But I'll tell you what it is, Major, if we had my little girl here on board, we shouldn't be going on our bended knees to strange women for the want of a bit of bread. We'd be sitting down now to a good dish of steaming hot potatoes, with their skins just beginning to peel off them. ”

“ Will you——?"
"There's no use doing that," said Higginbotham. "I saw them going ashore in their punt as I came off to you."
"All the same, I'll look them up," said Meldon. "I'm sure to find them somewhere about on the island. What I want you to do is to stay here and play chess with the Major till I get back."
He winked fiercely at Major Kent as he spoke.
"I know you play, Higginbotham, for you were a member of the chess club in college. You'll enjoy having a go at the Major. He's a perfect whale at the Muzio gambit. Very few men know the ins and outs of it as he does." ”

“ I simply haven't time to waste over sugar candy. If the children have taken your sugar candy, see their parents about it and get them properly whipped. You can't expect us to go about taking sticky stuff out of their mouths to gratify you. ”

“ There's old Thomas O'Flaherty Pat, for instance, as decent an old fellow as I ever met, and quite easy to make friends with. He went out to-day, quite off his own bat, without so much as a hint from me, and caught a crab and gave it to me. Any one with a grain of tact could get on with poor Thomas O'Flaherty Pat. As quiet a man as you'd see anywhere. But you go and rub him up the wrong way, get his back up, and generally play old hokey with his temper by nagging at his granddaughter about some barley sugar."
"It was sugar candy," said Higginbotham, feebly ”