George A. Birmingham

“ Beth's nerves had already been shaken by the noises and the falling stones in the cave. It was small wonder that the sudden rising of her uncle from what looked like a grave startled her afresh.
The vicar was nearly as frightened as she was. A face appearing at a church window high up in the walls of a chancel is scarcely likely to belong to a human being. In all probability it is an angel, and though we respect angels and like to sing hymns about them we do not want to come into personal contact with one. ”

“ For the rest of that morning and all the afternoon the Pallas Athene raced at incredible speeds, east and west on the great main roads of the south of England. Jimmy, at the steering-wheel, broke record after record and rejoiced. Beth, beside him, glowed with a satisfaction not unlike her aunt's. Like the Reverend Timothy Eames, Jimmy, her lover, was proving himself a worthy man, actually doing something of real usefulness. ”

“ She wore a bright red bathing dress and a blue waterproof cap. At the moment when Sir Evelyn caught sight of her she was poised for a plunge into the green water.
An imaginative and slightly short-sighted man might have fancied himself unexpectedly blessed with a vision of a mermaid or some other kind of water nymph. The great arch [27] of the cave, the gloomy hollow beyond it, the clear water and the shining rock, formed a natural and proper haunt for a marine damsel. But Sir Evelyn was not romantic. Men who rise to eminence in politics are almost always realists. ”

“ You'll help too, Mary, won't you?"
"Of course I will. I may not be as keen on bishops as you are, Beth, but there are very few things I wouldn't do for the sake of three dozen pairs of silk stockings."
"The first question," said Jimmy, "is, can we persuade your uncle to chip in and stand by us?"
"He'd do anything for Aunt Agatha," said Beth. "He's just as fond of her as she is of him."
"I wonder would he do the sort of thing that some people might call wrong?"
"Of course he would," said Mary. "Anybody would. All really nice and exciting things are wrong, but everybody does them." ”

“ Here Sir Evelyn's guardian angel smiled again. How far these beings arrange our future for us is uncertain, but there is no doubt that they know what is going to happen to us some time ahead. When they hear us asserting confidently that we are going to do something, or not going to do it, they are [24] amused, being aware that our plans have very little to do with what actually happens. Sir Evelyn's angel knew perfectly well that his ward would lunch that day at the vicarage, that he would meet Mrs. Eames, and that consequences of the most unexpected kind would follow. ”

“ Every man, institution or party has enemies. The enemies of religion, atheists and mockers, would fasten on the bishop and through him would injure the Church and Christianity itself. The enemies of the State, socialists and communists, would swarm round Sir Evelyn and work incalculable mischief. The scandal would give them the opportunity they wanted. He pleaded earnestly. Beth backed his appeal; but Mrs. Eames's eyes still flashed righteous indignation and her fist was still tightly clenched.
"Agatha, dear, do let me speak," said the vicar in a hoarse whisper. ”

“ Nevertheless a car crept down the hill one warm, May morning, a light car, driven by an elderly man who sat alone in it. He went very cautiously, his engine responding to its lowest gear, his foot pressed on the brake pedal, his hands clutching the steering wheel convulsively. This was Sir Evelyn Dent, and the car was a new possession which he had only just learned to drive, indeed had not yet learned to drive without nervousness. The age of sixty-five is rather late in life for acquiring so difficult an art as motor driving. ”

“ Sir Evelyn hesitated. He knew that, once caught by Linker, his morning would be gone, and he had been looking forward to taking Beth Appleby and Mary Lambert round his rock garden. They were very agreeable and well-mannered young women. Jimmy might have had his way and the message might have been sent—though perhaps not delivered—by Hinton, if Beth had not recognised the name of Linker. She had heard a good deal about him from the dressmaker maid and knew that he was the man who had supplied her and Mary with clothes. ”

“ The cave had been advertised by the pageant, would be re-advertised by the vicar's discovery. Crowds of people would come to see it. Antiquaries would explore its depths. Picnic parties would shout hilariously to its echoing walls. Just one effort, scarcely an effort, merely the allowing of things to take their course and all this would be realised. Hailey Compton would be famous. Wealth would pour in upon its inhabitants. A great and glorious work for the village would be accomplished. ”

“ Now what about your photo of the cave? I mustn't interrupt you by chattering here. Would you like me to pose for you as a pirate? I mean to say a smuggler. A real live smuggler seated on a stone at the entrance of the cave would be rather a catch in your book, wouldn't it?"
Sir Evelyn did not think it would, and tried to say so politely.
"I see what you mean," said Mrs. Eames. "My figure, of course. It's too plump for even a well-to-do smuggler. What you want is someone lean. Now if poor Timothy were here—— But he's too mild-looking for a smuggler. ”

“ Baby clothes and shrouds are all the same to him and of course anything in between."
"How thrilling!" said Beth. "Do you mean to say that you were arranging all that while we thought you were swapping your motor for a Ford? But do you think Hinton will remember everything? I'd like a toothbrush, I must say."
"Hinton," said Jimmy, "is to be relied on absolutely."
"Hinton?" said Sir Evelyn. "Is that the man who keeps an inn in a village called Hailey Compton? If so, I know him, and I really think, Miss Appleby, that you may rely on him. He has a knack of getting exactly what he wants. ”

“ They'll never be able to hold up their heads again. What I mean to say is, it doesn't matter about a fellow like me. But how can Uncle Evie go on being a leading statesman and all that? How can the bishop go on preaching the way bishops do? How can your aunt go on being a vicar's wife, if once it comes out that they've all been deliberately defrauding the revenue on a large scale?"
"Do you mean to say that Aunt Agatha will have to give up being married to Uncle Timothy?" said Beth. "She never will, whatever they say or do to her."
"She'll have to," said Jimmy. ”

“ Eames. "Timothy says I indulge it too much. But I always tell him something must be done for the good of the parish, and as he won't, I do. The year before last we had 'Macbeth,' acted entirely by the village people. I do think Shakespeare is so educative, don't you? Last year we had 'Othello,' and now we're getting up 'Hamlet.' Oh, here's Timothy coming back with some chairs. Now we'll be able to sit down and listen to you, Sir Evelyn. I always say that the greatest pleasure in life is hearing a clever man talk, a really clever man. ”

“ He'd hate it."
"'Sir Evelyn,'" said Beth, writing as she spoke, "'who between ourselves——' I mean to say 'entre nous is something of a grand seigneur.'"
"I know I'll be petrified with terror," said Mary. "A grand seigneur in a moated grange." ”

“ Eames persuasively, "and you can do that easily."
"I'd rather give you fifty pounds myself," said Sir Evelyn desperately, "than ask for a grant from any public fund."
"How perfectly sweet of you," said Mrs. [65] Eames. "Now there needn't be any worry about money. There can't be much more wanted. Timothy will be delighted when I tell him. He's always just a little inclined to fuss about money, and these things do cost something, don't they? I wish I could tell him about your fifty pounds at once and make his mind easy. But he's up in the church and I simply daren't disturb him." ”

“ Hinton says Uncle Evie is a perfect dragon on decorum."
"That's where you'll have to be careful, Mary, my dear," said Beth.
"Me!" said Mary. "I shall be a petrified icicle with sheer terror. But, I say, Jimmy does that mean no cigarettes?" [141]
"What do you say about that, Hinton?" said Jimmy. "Is Uncle Evie down on women smoking?"
"Many ladies of good position smoke nowadays, my lord," said Hinton. "I should imagine that Sir Evelyn Dent is quite accustomed to it!"
"One cigarette after each meal, Mary," said Jimmy. "Certainly not more." ”

“ There would therefore be no evidence that contraband goods had been landed or that any smuggling had actually been done. Whatever suspicions might be entertained there would be no sort of proof.
"But we can't get the things out of the cave with a policeman on guard," said Beth. "Unless—— Oh, Jimmy, the hole from the church into the cave! Could we?"
"We can," said Jimmy, "if the vicar will let us."
"I won't have poor darling Timothy mixed up in it," said Mrs. Eames. "He's never done anything wrong in his life." ”

“ It may have been excitement about the pageant which kept them from sitting. Not that they understand what's happening, poor things, but excitement gets into the air. So we can have pancakes and scrambled eggs. I know you like scrambled eggs, Sir Evelyn."
"Oh, greatly," said Sir Evelyn. "But I really wish you wouldn't take so much trouble."
"It won't be any trouble," said Mrs. Eames. "Gladys's aunt is nearly sure to be in the kitchen, and if so she can make the pancakes. Gladys can't or won't or both. I wish I could offer you an omelette. Beth, dear, can you make omelettes?" ”

“ In the meantime she caught Mrs. Eames whenever she could and asked intelligent and important questions. "Where," for instance, "would the spectators be on the day of the performance?" "Where would the orchestra be placed?" "What kind of platform would be provided for the Nautch Girl dance?"
Mrs. Eames, one of those fortunate people who enjoy fuss, replied to her as she replied to Jimmy Bunce and Gladys, without a sign of irritation, though sometimes a little hurriedly.
Sir Evelyn was gloomy. It did not seem to him possible that order would ever be achieved or the rehearsal be done. ”

“ Mary Lambert, fully dressed for the motor run, slipped into the room in time to hear Jimmy's defence of his uncle's character.
"If he won't," she said, "I wish somebody else would. The price of silk stockings is scandalous, and unless something is done about it poor girls like me won't be able to live at all. It seems to me, Jimmy, that it's your plain duty to do a little smuggling in the interests of the profession. Other people may be able to get on without silk. We can't. It's a business necessity." ”

“ I'm not particularly modest and I don't mind any ordinary man watching me. But a policeman is different somehow. I'm sure you'd hate to have a policeman standing about while you undress, wouldn't you, Mary?"
Beth evidently disliked the presence of the policeman quite as much as her aunt did, though not perhaps through feelings of modesty. She caught Jimmy's arm and looked anxiously into his face.
"Let's wave towels and bathing dresses," said Mrs. Eames, "and if that doesn't make him understand that he's not wanted you'll have to ask him to go away, Lord Colavon." ”

“ What do you think Sir Evelyn did then, Timothy? He sat straight down to historical research of the most abstruse kind. There's an example for you! Now, Sir Evelyn, you talk to him about Christological heresies while I go and make the pancakes. You'll hardly believe it, but I've put the advantages of that corner of the Dean's before him dozens of times and he hasn't done a thing yet, not even ragged a Monophysite, though that must be an easy enough thing for anyone who knows Greek. ”

“ Shortly before twelve o'clock the Pallas Athene, hooting constantly, came down the hill, and the sight of Jimmy's face, smiling and [304] confident, brought a momentary cheerfulness to the village. But behind the Pallas Athene, close behind it, came another car, and in it, very soon discernible by the anxious eyes of the watchers, were men in uniform, that neat, half naval uniform of customs officers. The gloom of undefined dread settled down on everyone again. Old Bunce growled sulky curses. Younger men muttered threats, which they knew they dare not fulfil. ”

“ The demonstration with towels and bathing dresses had no effect whatever on the policeman. He stood there, stolid and unmoved, an Englishman at the post of duty, and in all the world there is nothing so immovable as that.
Jimmy, pushed forward by Mrs. Eames, approached the man.
"I wonder," he said, "if you'd mind moving away a little, a few yards along the beach in either direction. The ladies want to bathe in this pool and it's rather awkward if you stand just there. No place to undress, you know."
"Very sorry, sir," said the policeman. "No one is allowed to enter the cave. ”

“ A very old Ford car came rattling towards them at a steady, but apparently laborious, twenty miles an hour. At the steering wheel sat James Hinton of the Anchor Inn in Hailey Compton.
Jimmy was determined not to be passed by. There are a few motorists as indifferent to the calls of charity as if they were priests or Levites, who go their way without succouring those in distress on the roadside. The driver of the Ford might be such a man. Jimmy made sure that he would at least stop by standing with outstretched hands in the middle of the road. ”

“ Hailey Compton is a village which until the other day escaped the curse of popularity. Its good fortune was due partly to the fact that there are no houses or lodgings in it suitable for letting. Nor can any be built for there is no room for building. The village lies in a narrow nook between high cliffs and all the ground is already occupied by fishermen's cottages, with their patches of garden, the church, the vicarage, and the Anchor Inn. ”