Henry C. Rowland

“ Where is the vicomte?"
"In the gardens, Madame," said 6677-X-7.
The marquise gave a little cough. "H'm," said she. "Do you know, Vicomte, this looks to me very like a rendezvous. The vicomte is a suitor for the hand of Mlle. Alyette, but the comte will not give his approval, as he is anxious that his daughter should marry a rich old senator. Personally I sympathize with the young people. This is very indiscreet of the vicomte. My chauffeur is not to be trusted, and I noticed that he glanced at your name-plate. I do hope that he will keep his mouth shut." ”

“ You turn over fast enough, and the marquise is a bit foundered. She goes downhill like an old lady crawling down a ladder. Keep her going, and give us time to catch the boat. Ta-ta! now watch me give that Frankfurter a dust cure for the beer habit. ..." He leaped ahead like a greyhound.
The vicomte, followed by the French maid, who had exchanged coats with Mlle. Alyette, sprang quickly aboard and the next instant 677-X-7 had jumped forward, then turned sharply into a rough trail that led through the middle of a big meadow that had been planted with sugar-beets. ”

“ Turning into this jam, my right hind wheel slipped in a puddle of grease, and I thought that I was going to faint."
"Nonsense, my dear!" soothed the marquise. "Just a little roughness in the pinion gear of your differential. That will pass."
"But I can scarcely breathe," said 677-X-7. "Just as my lungs begin to clear, M. le Vicomte reaches over and souses them full of oil."
"He knows his business," said the roadster. "Oil is good for babies. ”

“ They live a hundred hours, and then the crucible for theirs. Tell Willie to chase 'em over, Herr Holstein. We 'll show him some wing-shootin', and not on driven birds, either. Just look at that," said he to the Englishman, for the prince was backing out into the traffic. "I 'll bet he learned to drive out of a book called 'Motor manœuvers for the German Army.' No living man could teach him anything."
But 677-X-7 had lost the thread of the conversation. The vicomte was coming across the street. ”

“ His Yankee scrutiny had discovered sundry splashes of dried brine on the rough enamel of the new-comer.
"Aw, beg pardon, but have I been introduced to you?" drawled the Englishman.
"Oh, that's all right, old sport. We 're first cousins, 3000 miles removed."
The Briton stared through his searchlights. "I say, are n't you an American?"
"All but my shoes. Hello! your left mud-guard's bent. Hit something?"
"Aw, a mere trifle. These silly foreigners persist in turning out to the right. ”

“ Thirty meters she got, then stopped, bogged down by the weight of her limousine.
677-X-7 chuckled. "It will take about four yoke of oxen to get her out of that," he said to himself as he crashed through the pollards and out into the lane.
"No," said the big American to little 677-X-7 as they talked the matter over in the garage of the Savoy, "the race ain't always to the swift. But in my case it was. I caught that sauerkrauter about half a mile this side of the Boulogne octroi. 'Vorfahrtsrecht," growls he, tearin' chunks off the top of the road ”