Holworthy Hall

“ McHenry assured him. "I'm not so blamed selfish that I can't try to give the public a run for its money. The crowd doesn't come down there to see a set of professional games—it comes to get a laugh. Well, I'll furnish the laughs, and take the cup along, too. So it's all settled, and you'd better appoint me captain of the Lampoon track team right away, so I can get my men together." ”

“ Miller and Hopkins, who hadn't been allowed to attend the Crimson punch the night before, Titherington, and a kangaroo.
"First heat—Wilcox, Titherington, Pope, Lewis, and Young. On your marks!"
Titherington took his mark. He not only filled his own lane to repletion, but he also crowded the men on either side of him. They protested vigorously to the Rougheree.
"Take your time, take your time!" said McHenry. "I dare you to find anything in the rules against him!"
"You're crazy, man! They say distinctly that you can't wear anything for the purpose of obstructing your opponents!" ”

“ Important men from the upper classes began to drop in—they conceded, without much argument that it was the liveliest Crimson punch in the history of man. A member of the Student Council who suggested that the interpaper meet would be a dismal failure was told to go home and turn in and get a good night's rest. Eleven o'clock came, and twelve—the serious-minded men drifted homeward in twos and threes, but the interpaper athletes stayed on. McHenry was indefatigable. He positively refused to speak to a friend who didn't have a stein in his hand. ”

“ A very fair proportion of the men had served apprenticeship on class or prep-school baseball squads, so that when they really turned their minds upon the necessity of victory, they utterly ruined the spectacle which had delighted so many generations of Harvard students, and, instead of enjoying a riotous burlesque, fought bitterly for the possession of the pewter cup. ”

“ Eventually the punch ran out, and the guests had to go home. To each of the Lampoon men present, McHenry addressed a vivid phrase or two at parting.
"Meet at the sanctum at one o'clock to-morrow afternoon without fail," he ended. "It's vital! You won't forget, will you? The whole meet depends on it!"
"B-but where were MacManus and Vose and Hopkins and Grant and Miller?" said Morse sleepily. "They aren't athletes—they C-could have come over, all right?"
McHenry smiled his inscrutable smile.
"You're right they're not athletes," he acknowledged. ”

“ We killed the baseball game by the same silly stunt we—"
"I know we did. At the same time, if there's a mug to be won, we've got to win it, that's all. And there's no use trying to have the regular comic stuff if we really want to win. That's why we've got to cut out the costumes and the foolishness."
"Not in a hundred years!" exclaimed McHenry. "Ever since those fool graduates started out to put up trophies, the interpaper sports have gone straight to the bowwows. First it was hockey, and then it was tennis, and then it was baseball, and now it's track! ”

“ We don't care—Miller'll run next to the fat boy!"
Miller went in. He wasn't much of a sprinter, but he had slept well and eaten wisely, whereas the majority of the competitors wished they hadn't gone to that punch. At the pistol, he got off creditably, and, obeying instructions, kept his mind on the race and his eyes away from Titherington. Not so the others, for as they saw the gelatinous sides of the Lampoon's "crack sprinter" wabbling and shaking, they collapsed beside the track, and laughed until they cried. The audience down by the finish tape was convulsed ”

“ The Crime has four men on the varsity squad, and the Advocate has two—we haven't such a whale of a chance to win, anyway, and we wouldn't be anywhere if we handicapped ourselves with togas or hand organs, the way we did last year. ”