Ian Hay

“ Every crew which succeeds in rowing over the course without being touched (or “bumped”) by the boat behind is said to have “kept its place,” and starts in the same position for the next day's racing. But if it contrives to touch the boat in front, it is said to have made a “bump,” and both bumper and bumped get under the bank with all speed and allow the rest of the procession to race past. Next day, bumper and bumped change places, and the victors of the day before endeavour to catch the next boat in front of them. ”

“ Seven, incredible as it may appear, was a very fair oar. He was not popular with the rest of the crew, who, from a cause which I could never fathom—probably the instinct which prompts the British workingman to call a man who likes to earn a regular living a “blackleg”—considered him “no sportsman.” It was chiefly owing to his unremitting efforts that the boat, overcoming the languid resistance of the Cam and the more strenuous opposition of Five, was enabled to move at all. ”

“ Three's presence in the crew was entirely due to the fact that St. Asaph's College only possessed eight undergraduates. I need say no more.
Four was a Scholar of the college, and, as he once informed me in a burst of confidence, had taken up rowing for his stomach's sake. I trust that organ benefited by his exertions: after all, it's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.
Five, as I have already mentioned, was a man of commanding presence. He was not intended by nature for an oarsman, but would have made an excellent chairman at a parish meeting. ”

“ I accepted the situation, and Five.
I may as well describe my crew in detail. Nature has framed strange fellows in her time, but it is improbable that such a unique collection of oddities will ever again be seen at once. ”

“ No ordinary stretcher could contain him, and he succeeded in flattening his knees only when, in excess of zeal, he pushed himself over the back of his sliding-seat. The valuable work done on these occasions by Bow in restoring his colleague to his rightful position only goes to illustrate the great truth that the meanest creatures have their uses. ”

“ The boat made fluctuating progress. Sometimes it went badly, sometimes indifferently, sometimes unspeakably. More than once I found myself wondering whether, after all, a Don with gout in both legs would not be of more use than all my present crew put together. Still, a crew has to be very bad to be the worst on the Cam, and St. Asaph's were confident that the end of the races would see them several places higher on the river than before. ”

“ The races take place on four successive evenings. It is thus possible for a crew by making a bump each evening to ascend four places. This was the mobest programme which St. Asaph's had mapped out for themselves, the alternative of a corresponding descent being mercifully precluded by their geographical position on the river. ”