Ian Hay

“ Once more Margot appeared impressed.
“It’s unbelievable!” she said—“absolutely!”
“Oh, not at all!” said William Peck, who really was a very modest fellow.
“It is unbelievable,” reiterated Margot emphatically, “that any human being should go about doing such uncouth things and actually boast of it.”
William Peck, who for nearly twenty-eight years had cherished a belief that the one thing which a woman requires of a man is rugged strength (such as his own) , merely gaped.
“Have you no recreations, my good Peck,” continued Margot compassionately, “except those of a hobbledehoy?” ”

“ Margot lit a cigarette. . “Then go and learn, my Peck!” she said.
“After all,” William Peck argued to himself as he trotted home in the dark,-he made a point of running a mile every day, and the Thé Dansant, with its vitiated atmosphere, had rendered this exercise even more indispensable than usual,-“she would not have told me to go and learn unless she had taken some interest in my progress. Besides, one must make allowances for women. They are”—pant, pant, pant—“wayward, and”–pant—“capricious. One must indulge them to a certain extent: come down to their level, and so on. ”

“ Then we would dine together and talk over all the gossip of the day. There's nothing so dull in life as having a lot of interesting things happen to you all day and know that there’ll be no one to tell them to in the evening.”
“That's very true,” said William Peck with a sigh. Of late he had contracted the habit of jotting down memoranda of interesting things which happened to him, with the intention of retailing the same to Margot when an opportunity should arise. ”

“ Margot was minded to make the lesson permanent.
“My good creature,” she said, “I had no idea that you were as impossible as all this. I thought every human being with two feet could dance the one step!”
“I don't dance,” muttered William Peck faintly but doggedly.
“One-stepping is n’t dancing. It's putting one foot before the other. Surely you can do that! Or is it that you’re afraid to hold on to a girl?”
Dumb, driven, inarticulate, William Peck merely hung his head. ”

“ People don’t change much. Perhaps he was n’t the sort of man I ought to have married.”
“What sort of man ought you to have married?” inquired William curiously. He was interested in the question of affinities just now.
“A man who would like being taken care of. I used to wish the War was over, so that I could really take care of Ted. You know—look after his clothes, and see he got his meals properly, and get him off in comfortable time for the morning train, and be there when he came back in the evening—”
“And give him a kiss,” said William Peck automatically. ”

“ I don’t know, though. Perhaps things are best as they are. Ted did n’t like staying at home much any evening, and if he had gone out I dare say he'd have gone out without me. I may be one of the lucky ones, really!” She smiled philosophically. “Finished your pipe? I don't want to turn you out; but you know what neighbours are. When'll suit you again?”
William Peck suggested the following Saturday afternoon.
But he did not keep the appointment. Margot made a reply to a long-hoarded invitation which exceeded his wildest hopes, and they attended a matinée together. ”

“ William explained with an indulgent smile, “who actually do their work behind the counter are the cashiers. Now, I—”
“Never mind that,” said Margot hastily. “What I mean is, what do you do when they open the door of the hutch at five o'clock, and put you out?”
“You mean, what do I do for exercise? Ah!” When William Peck paused for his next mouthful he had told her all about the difference between fixed and sliding seats, and also about the time he had once lain insensible for three quarters of an hour after a personal encounter with the boot of the centre forward of the Peckham Peripatetics. ”

“ But don't go and blow out your brains, or anything, because it is n’t done. We're having a Thé Dansant on Saturday. Come, and let me see if you can dance a one-step without treading on my feet. We must always be friends, must n’t we, old man?” she concluded, switching suddenly to diplomacy.
“By all means,” said William Peck—a little disappointingly, Margot thought.
Two days later he completed his course of six lessons, within the period of which, it will be remembered, proficiency had been guaranteed. ”

“ Have you finished that cigarette? Well, I bet you’ve got a pipe in your pocket. Light it, and put your feet on the fender, and I’ll tell you,” commanded this discerning young person.
William Peck, feeling strangely soothed and comfortable, obeyed.
“I was married all right,” continued Esther presently. “All wrong, rather. It was one of those War weddings—me eighteen and Ted twenty-one. London was full of schoolboys dressed up as officers, all mad to have a good time dining and dancing before they went out and went west. Mother and I started a dancing-school over a tea-shop in Regent Street. ”

“ About the time that Daisy reached the age of fourteen, and had begun to develop a fondness for her own point of view which her father unhesitatingly attributed to lack of maternal discipline, and her mother (in a mental memorandum) to heredity, she was sent to a large school for girls at Brighton. ”

“ Dale, whose voice could easily be heard above the roar of trains, while Margot's could not. But after Putney Bridge Station, where the train emerged into upper air and cavernous noises ceased, Miss Dale was enabled to bring her lighter artillery to bear with telling effect. Finally, on the walk home from Wimbledon Park Station to Lime Lodge, Acacia Avenue, S.W. 17, she launched a counter-attack of such a voluble and penetrating character that her slow-moving opponent was reduced first to inarticulate boomings and finally to vindictive sulks. ”

“ They would retire to bed early, because a man with a hard day's work behind and ahead of him must maintain a perfect standard of physical fitness. (Forgive me if I have referred to this already.) On Saturday nights, however, they would really kick up their heels a bit—dine somewhere, go to the Hippodrome, and as likely as not get home at midnight. ”