Irving Bacheller

“ WE were smoking before the camp-fire after a long day in canoes. Soon our guides joined us and began to fill their pipes. I called for a story, and one said to the other:
"Bill, tell 'em how you got to be a millionaire."
For a moment Bill puffed like a locomotive on a stiff grade, then off he started:
"For about half a day I was one o' the richest men in the world; then I unloaded all of a sudden, as ye might say. It was the second year after John Calladay had bought his big tract and built a camp in the middle of it. ”

“ I lifted my head, an' bang! went a rifle in the ravine above me, an' a bullet splashed the water right where I was goin' t' stick my face in. Wal, the swellin' went out o' me quick, an' I begun to fill up with useful knowledge. My thoughts moved like wild ducks. Lord! they were faster 'n the spray that flew in my face. Somebody was gunnin' for Calladay, and he had made me look like him! I had seen the likeness there in the water, and begun to think about it—same mustache, same kind of a face, and his clothes on me! Wal, I give a jump for life an' home an' mother. ”

“ Calladay,' says I.
"He found a book and drew the check I had promised.
"‘I was sorry to see you lose your temper, that 's all,' says he, and passed the check to me. 'There was really no occasion for it. You 'most broke my back.'
"‘And you 'most broke my head,' I says. 'I 'm still on the earth—thank God, for that, not you. But I 've had a plenty. You carried my load an' I carried yours, an' it 's a little too much for me. Hereafter I 'll take the old pack for mine, an' the togs I 'm used to. These are liable to get holes in 'em any day. ”