J. W. Hayes

“ CALIFORNIA ELECTS A PRESIDENT WHILE the telegraph boys of Chicago were enjoying themselves and making merry, a great noise was heard up the line, and a cloud of dust was discernible, acting as a precursor of the California contingent, who had just learned of the recent election on Earth and desired to share their honors with their brothers there. ”

“ A cry of joy went up from the readers of the message from Professor Morse, many remembering how his first message, “What hath God wrought?” had broken the fetters of time and annihilated space, and now comes a second message to break the shackles of human belief.
All day and evening messages were exchanged between the planets Mars and Jupiter, nothing undergoing censorship.
“Bogy” got in the first deadhead message to the Earth. It was addressed to John B. Taltavall, publisher Telegraph and Telephone Age, and announced his safe arrival on the planet Jupiter. ”

“ Ernest Emery’s eyes sparkled with greater brilliancy than ever as he heard the names of his old-time Washington friends mentioned. “I hope that ‘Washington Day’ will be an event worthy of the great city and its associations,” he said. “Being the capital of the nation the best [Pg 66] men in the telegraph profession exist there, and those now here will enter into the festivities of the occasion with the greatest of pleasure, when their lives in that city are recalled and rehearsed. All will have something pleasant to relate.” ”

“ Young, “it gave me great pleasure to assist our boys through their difficulties, and make their lives less burdensome, and it now makes my heart feel good to see those who have passed from Earth to Mars enjoying their well-earned rest. The Washington boys all partake of the nature of the ‘Father of his Country,’ whom we have all met in this ethereal mansion on various occasions, and are proud to be identified with so distinguished a gentleman, though we are all on a level here.” ”

“ The love of state is strong and it is beautiful to observe the consideration shown to the denizens of the Smoky City by the dwellers of the City of Brotherly Love, and also to see how freely the former citizens of the oil region will hob-nob with the residents of the more favored Harrisburg, Stroudsburg and Erie.
Such is the condition of affairs on the terrestrial planet during life and it is not to be wondered at that the feeling would exist after the inhabitants of Pennsylvania had taken a long flight to the planet Mars. ”

“ I want to convey to the telegraph people on old Mother Earth that it is a psychological fact that if they would only make their profession a life-long business, similar to that of a doctor, dentist, lawyer or minister, their condition while on earth would vastly improve. They should take advantage of all the education obtainable in their line, through reading and studying text books on electrical matters and endeavor to qualify themselves for higher positions which are bound to come. ”

“ There’s Nelson A. Buell, of Cleveland, Ohio,” cried out A. H. Vanduzer, and instantly the Cleveland fraternity marshalled into line, as one great body, to welcome the arrival of one of its loved members while on Earth.
It was easy to recognize the face and form of the former manager of the Cleveland office, with his Napoleonic face, from which radiated love and kindness for his brother man.
There was a long list of friends and former associates to greet Mr. Buell, operators, linemen, clerks and messengers being in the gathering. ”

“ Tom Finnigan, who barricaded the entrance to the operating department with his portly form, was a character different from anyone else that ever graced the New York telegraph ranks. His utterances were dry and crispy and served to keep the “good fellows” on the force supplied with ample material as a basis for their jokes. It was Tom’s duty to announce to the manager those at the door who wished to see him. One day a Texas operator was an applicant for a position. Tom reported his arrival to Manager Downer, who asked Finnigan if the fellow looked as though he was a good, fast telegrapher. ”

“ Of course it must be remembered that the exceptional operators of ye olden days sooner or later gravitated to the large telegraph centers, such as New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, St. Louis, Boston, San Francisco and a dozen other cities which have housed at one [Pg 34] time or another the brilliant operators of the past, those who have left their impress on the fraternity that will not be effaced for many generations to come. These old-timers have left their record in printers’ ink. The younger-timers, as they advance in years, become the old-timers of tomorrow. ”

“ Everyone is on a higher and more ennobling plane and it is only the few who still thirst after the lusts of the flesh who are rendered unhappy, but these are not quite purged of their earthly desires.
It was announced upon the ever-ready bulletin board, viz., the bright firmament of Mars, by the usual magic touch of the wireless wand, that there would be an entertainment given at the Telegraphers’ Tabernacle, the chief feature of which would be a phonographic concert, to be followed by an exhibition of perfect Morse sending. ”

“ ECHOES FROM GOTHAM THE PLEIADES CLUB, of which so much has been written lately, seems to possess some value based upon the fact that it brings to the attention of the old and new-timers the names of former prominent telegraph people, those who excelled in the art of telegraphy and those who possessed qualities that made them shining marks in the eyes of their contemporaries. It is the intention of the author to cover those sections of the country where there were well-known members of the profession. ”

“ I feel that I would have the hearty thanks of the telegraph and railroad companies and also of all the telegraph employes once the bill became a law and all were inured to it.
“Our people on Mars are true blue and there is no insincerity to be found in our ranks. We have all been purged of that and we all feel the better for it.”
Mr. Rowe continued in his happy vein to relate his experiences while he was manager at Elko, Nev., when that office was a repeating point, his remarks evoking many merry rounds of applause. ”

“ Louis, Omaha, San Francisco and other places throughout the United States, joined hands with their brother operators and were presently whirling on the green sward to the sweet strains of Strauss’ Blue Danube waltz, which followed the more formal square dance.
The music was rendered by the miniature talking machine which had been entertaining the company all evening with songs, band melodies, telegraph records and now came in to be used for dance music. ”

“ From all points of the compass were arriving in balloons, dirigibles, aeroplanes, members of the craft anxious to be present at the big blow-out. Submarines, only on pleasure bent, however, came up the Hesperian canal, filled with the operators of the olden days; across the River “Styxx” arrived colony after colony of ex-telegraph officials, operators and linemen, but there was no elbowing to obtain a front seat.
President Fred Catlin looked magnificent as he called the vast assemblage to order. ”

“ A cordial invitation was extended the Chicago delegation and any other members of the craft who wanted to come, and preparations for the entertainment were immediately begun.
Wednesday, July 4, 1917, arrived and the grounds around Telegraphers’ Tabernacle, on the planet Mars, were the scene of much merriment, the badges of the Keystone State being in evidence everywhere.
It was not what the people on Mother Earth would term a “sane” Fourth, as there was a big display of firecrackers and the like, the wish having been expressed that the occasion would be one of the “old-fashioned” kind. ”

“ PENNSYLVANIA DAY ON PLANET MARS IN MOST every western city in the United States there exists a Pennsylvanian Society to which any genteel person is eligible provided he or she hails from the classic precincts of the Keystone State, the members of the society evidently being of the opinion that “Once a Pennsylvanian, always a gentleman.” ”

“ If that fellow had ever worked in Cheyenne alongside of Comb Green, when I worked the overland at Omaha, he would have known something about keeping adjusted and the dear old Earth would have received startling news which would have thrown the feat of Commander Peary into the shade.
“Don’t you know, cull,” continued Cook, “that I really believe that our planet Mars may be called upon to perform her good offices in case any hostile nation should [Pg 10] attempt to invade the United States, and I believe that Tom Edison has solved that intricate problem.” ”

“ It will not be long ere the prevailing company will build into Mexico, and, in fact, cover South America. Those fellows down there need somebody to show them how to telegraph and I guess there would be a great number of good tutors in New York, Chicago and St. Louis, and just fancy the revenue that would be derived.
“The opening of this southern country would give every ambitious and capable man in the service an opportunity of shining as a superintendent or in some other official capacity. ”

“ This last-named gentleman had fastened to his belt many practical jokes he had “pulled off” while on Earth. In fact, it was a dull day or busy one at the wires, whatever the case might be, when Fred. Baldwin failed to disturb the serenity of the otherwise calm atmosphere of the operating department with his mirth-exciting pranks. ”

“ The newcomers are objects of much interest to the old sojourners on Jupiter, there having been no accessions from the Earth or Mars for as much as a thousand years, as nearly as anyone could reckon time, there being no established manner of computing the years. ”

“ Charles L. Hallett, died in Winnipeg recently, had been in the insurance business for the past twelve years, formerly circuit manager at Fort William, aged fifty-four years; Winnipeg is such a healthy place there are not many applicants for membership in the Pleiades Club; Orville A. Glenn, one of Winnipeg’s best known stars, died 1911, aged thirty-seven years. At time of his death he was a member of the grain exchange and doing a lucrative brokerage business; Joseph Quelch, a first class telegrapher and at one time manager of the Dominion Telegraph Company at Montreal in the seventies. ”

“ TELEGRAPHERS’ TOURNAMENT AS THE planet Mars has more than 600 days to its year, and as time is of no moment in that delightful abode, Washington’s birthday could be celebrated anytime convenient to the members of the Pleiades Club, and accordingly the telegraph tournament was scheduled to come off when all preparations were completed. ”

“ I have undertaken to describe a reign of harmony that exists after “Life’s fitful fever” which is more worthy of credence than the hell afire and damnation espoused by some creeds and religions; and I hope that my telegraph friends will feel better on this score from a perusal of the “Pleiades Club.”
THE AUTHOR.
[Pg 7] CHAPTER I.
ON THE PLANET MARS Eternity Illustrated. ETERNITY is an awe-inspiring theme and one which our little finite minds are unable to comprehend. ”

“ No married operator in the New York force thirty or forty years ago was considered first-class until he had purchased in one of the suburban New Jersey or Long Island towns a home of his own. It was not a difficult task to him to figure how six good laying hens could yield a sufficient number of eggs, the profit on which would pay for his home in five years. One of these lightning calculating operators had drummed up quite a few customers for his fresh-laid eggs. ”

“ PLANET MARS THE FOLLOWING list of Canadian operators who lived, flourished and passed away, either in this country or in Canada, has been furnished by John Fletcher, superintendent Canadian Pacific Railroad Telegraph, with the suggestion that they be admitted into the sacred precincts of the Pleiades Club. ”

“ ON THE PLANET MARS ALL OF the telegraph people residing on the planet Mars had gathered around in the grand stand to get a front view in the tournament which was scheduled to come off February 22, Washington’s birthday. There was no crowding or elbowing or pushing, as there was a place for everyone, and everybody was in his place. ”

“ Moxon, with the remark, “More to come.”
And so it appears that the doings of our earthly brothers are being solicitously watched over by those engaged in the same line of business and who have gone before us, and we are never for a moment left alone, even to our innermost thoughts and desires.
The railroad superintendents of telegraph as well as the commercial superintendents are forming an association on the planet Mars and a report of the meeting and the names of those present will be the topic of a future chapter in the Pleiades Club series. ”

“ We turn on our searchlight, which is equal to a billion candle power and signal for her to turn back. Upon her refusal to do so, the bottled up energy of the sun is turned on and presently a smoke arises which in five minutes is lifted and nothing can be seen of the unfriendly man o’ war. ”