Johann Karl August Musäus

“ With the exception of John Buncle, whose rare fortune it was, into whatever bye-nook or out-of-the-world place he found his way, ever to meet with a party of ladies, all of them so many chaste Venuses and beauteous Minervas, never was mortal so unexpectedly blessed in this way as was Count Ulric von Klettenberg, when he found himself thus transported, from an uncomfortable, supperless night’s lodging under a tree, in the depths of an unknown wood, to a mansion which seemed the abode of the loves and the graces. ”

“ I can prepare a powder, which, diluted in water, would have the property of producing in the heart of whoever takes it, an irresistible passion for the person from whose hands it has been received. Let the coquette who trifles with your feelings but moisten her lips with this beverage, and she will in a moment be overcome with a resistless love for you. Then repulsing her with all the scorn she has cast upon you, mocking with her own bitterness of insult her sighs and tears, you would be amply avenged in the eyes of the whole Court ”

“ I know how deeply your basilisk glances have infused the sweet poison of love into the hearts of my knights and nobles. You must now suffer the just penalty you have incurred, and yourself wear the chains wherewith hitherto it has been your sport to enslave your lovers, for I will not rest until I have provided you with a husband.”
When the humbled Lucretia found that the Empress was thoroughly in earnest, she did not venture to offer any further opposition, lest she should still more highly irritate her mistress. ”

“ Ulric was quite inconsolable at the intelligence; more especially he felt in its full force the bitterness of malice with which the insolent Lucretia had cast at him reproachfully a defect which he himself hardly ever thought of, so little did he deem it noticed by others. “Could the shameless creature,” cried he, “find no gentler pretext for dismissing me, after having ruined me as she has done? Was there any necessity for her thus to accompany a condition impossible for me to fulfil, with the sting of her adder’s tongue? ”

“ All her thoughts were upon balls and drawing-rooms, and parties, and fine dresses, and amusements, and herein she fully gratified her utmost desires, outvying in splendour, as in beauty, all her youthful companions, who, though of course they hated her most cordially, were fain to keep their envy and malice to themselves, and to profess the utmost fondness for “dear Lady Lucretia;” “dear Lady Lucretia” happening to continue very high in the Empress’s favour. The young knights and nobles were, to a man, equally loud in their expressions of admiration ”

“ The moth may fly at the candle many and many a time with impunity, but it is at last caught in the flame, and, despite its convulsive struggles, is only freed by death. The appearance even of so contemptible a rival as Rupert served to open Ulric’s eyes to the violence of his own passion, and the entire absence of it on the part of Lucretia. ”

“ Absence, so far from mitigating his passion, increased it; every step that led him from the object of his love seemed to pour a fresh drop of oil on the flame, and the charms of the beauteous but insensible Lucretia seemed to grow more and more wondrous, the farther they were removed from his vision. Often did the desire well nigh overcome him, to retrace his steps, and seek his salvation, not in the Holy Land, but at Goslar. ”

“ For the first nine days she submitted in silence to the meagre diet which her hostess inflicted; on the tenth she threw out a gentle hint touching a little chicken broth. The old lady turning a deaf ear to this, she at length spoke out: “Good Madam,” said she, “your soups are so poor and so sour, and your bread so hard, that altogether they make my gums sore. Do pray give me something more nourishing; I’ll pay you well for it. There’s the hen, which makes such a noise in the house: roast that for me, that I may get up the strength necessary to enable me to proceed on my journey with my child. ”

“ In a few days, after a long struggle between love and duty, Count Ulric, in fulfilment of his promise, proposed forthwith to join the Emperor’s army; but Lucretia would not permit him to depart: “Dear Ulric,” said she, “during the honey-moon, at least, you must not oppose my wishes; when that is past you must, I suppose, take your own way, as you men always do; at present, I require you to accompany me to Bamburg, on a visit to my mother, whom it becomes you, as a dutiful son-in-law, to pay your respects to.” ”

“ Once secure of her conquest, she ever treated the aspirant with the greatest coldness and contempt, taking a malicious pleasure in beholding the throes and pangs of his disappointed passion. Her own heart was defended by a wall of brass, which none of her paladins could force, or produce any effect upon. However ardently beloved, she loved not in return; whether it was that her hour was not yet come, or that her ambition had not found wherewithal to satisfy it, or that coquetry had closed her heart against sentiment. ”

“ There was the round, rustic Thuringian, Count Rupert’s cousin, who might have been made excellent use of by the accomplished Ulric, in just the same way in which Lucretia meant to employ Count Rupert himself; but all his skill in love manœuvring was thrown out by the deep passion which had now taken possession of his heart; it had happened to him as sometimes befals actors who on the stage have to make love frequently to the same person: the sentiment he at first but feigned became a strong, an all-absorbing reality. ”

“ The wedded pair next day set out for Bamburg, and great was the rejoicing in the house of Mama on the arrival of these beloved visitors. The only thing that annoyed the Count in his new residence was that every morning the sweet sleep he was enjoying by the side of his Lucretia was broken by the shrill cackling of a hen in an adjoining apartment. He at last lost all patience with his inconvenient neighbour, and vowed to twist its neck about if ever it fell into his hands. “Nay,” said his wife, “that will never do; that hen lays an egg every morning that we could ill spare.” ”

“ She threw herself at the feet of her mistress, seized her hand, which she bathed with tears, and as soon as she had somewhat recovered from her consternation, said: “Be not angry with me, mighty Sovereign; if my poor attractions produce any disorder in your Court, the fault is not mine; I cannot help it. Do not the courtiers cast their bold glances at all your ladies? ”

“ After a night’s repose, which was most welcome to him, he would early next morning have taken his leave of the ladies and continued his journey, but the Signora pressed him to stay with such winning grace, and the Signorina Ughella begged him, with so enchanting a glance, not to refuse her mother’s invitation, that he could not but comply. ”

“ About this period (1057) the Emperor convoked the Germanic Diet at Bamburg. So encumbered was the town by the numerous trains of the Princes and Prelates who flocked thither, that our widow, to withdraw herself from the crowd, retired with her daughter to one of her country houses; but the worthy Bishop spoke so highly of Lucretia to the Empress, that she expressed a desire to have the young beauty as one of her maids of honour. Now as Henry’s court was far from being a model of correctness, the anxious mother would have willingly, with all due thanks and respect, declined this honour ”

“ The fair Lucretia was accordingly sent to Court, furnished with a splendid wardrobe, and received in charge from the Empress her work-box, with the additional privilege, in common with five other young ladies of quality, of bearing on gala days her Majesty’s train. Whenever she made her appearance, every eye was fixed upon her; and it was soon unanimously voted by the courtiers that she was, beyond any comparison, the loveliest lady of the Court. ”

“ On the old doctor’s death, his widow inherited his large fortune and valuable manuscripts. Feeling no disposition to a second marriage, she had amused herself in her widowhood with the study of her late husband’s writings, and had by this means acquired not only a rare acquaintance with the more hidden secrets of nature, but also such a knowledge of physic, and thereby, after awhile, so high a reputation, that the University of Padua had conferred upon her a doctor’s degree, and appointed her to a public professorship of medicine. ”

“ In this village the widow hired a cart and a yoke of oxen, with which she proceeded to Bamburg, where she arrived quite safe with her child, her hen and fifteen eggs, and took a house. She lived at first very retired, directing all her attention to the education of her daughter and the cherishing of her hen; but after a time, her eggs having multiplied, she purchased lands and houses, vineyards and castles, and lived in excellent style on her rents; she gave alms to the poor, and made rich presents to the neighbouring convents ”

“ Think you it becomes a modest girl to have two lovers at once in her train, both of whom she amuses herself with rendering alike confident of success, though caring, as it would seem, for neither? This cannot be permitted to continue. You have given Count Ulric, and you have given Count Rupert, such encouragement as to authorise them in demanding with confidence your hand. I will not speak in favour of the one more than of the other; but one of them you must elect for your husband, or incur my severest displeasure.”
Lucretia turned quite pale ”

“ His excesses at length became perfectly intolerable; no one for miles round felt himself safe, and a powerful league was accordingly formed against him, whose members swore, at whatever cost, to drive this insatiate vulture from his nest, and to destroy his strongholds. Having sent him their mortal defiance, they armed their vassals, and by a simultaneous movement, beleaguered his three castles on the same day, giving him no time to take the field against the confederates. ”

“ A few mornings after, Ulric, while walking with his hostess and her fair friends, announced his intention to take his leave of them the next day, and this time she made no objection to his going. In the evening, when they were all assembled in the saloon, the ladies were in higher spirits even than usual, not excepting the Signora herself, who rarely laid aside her gravity, though always cheerful. On this occasion, however, she went so far as to express a wish to dance a saraband with her visitor. The Count exerted himself to maintain his reputation of a first-rate dancer ”

“ Often would he pick an unfounded quarrel with one or other of his neighbours, so as to give him a pretext for despoiling their domains. It was quite in his power to have rested from the fatigues of war, in the society of an amiable wife; but to him repose seemed a disgraceful effeminacy. Popular opinion in those olden times deemed the sword and spear as essential to the character of the knight, as the spade and reaping-hook to that of the peaceful tiller of land, and as little to be laid aside while health and strength remained ”

“ Could you but resolve to hate the perfidious creature, it were easy for me to provide you with the means of holding her up to ridicule and scorn, and repaying her doubly all the evil she has inflicted upon you. ”

“ But seeing the very inferior force they had to contend with, they recovered their courage, surrounded the enemy, and after a fierce and sanguinary struggle, put Winnebald and all his followers to the sword, not one of them escaping but the confidential esquire, who, in the confusion, galloped off with his mistress to the cave in the forest. ”

“ The more consummate masters in the science of the female heart, indeed, discovering that the fortress was impregnable, made a timely retreat, without hazarding the dishonour of a defeat; but plenty of inexperienced youths took their places, who were, one after the other, made the victims of their silly credulity, while she herself remained heart-whole. ”

“ Endure with patience what cannot now be helped. There is still hope for you: the Signora has a compassionate heart, and what she has distorted she can, if she pleases, make straight again. If, after the expiration of three years, you return hither, she will, doubtless, have ceased to bear you ill-will ”

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