John Lyly

“ Martin, thou seest I come not abruptly to thee like a rednosde ieaster, that in the pride of his pottle-pots curries ouer a reuelling riffe raffe of Tapsterly tauntes, and course hempen quippes, such as our brokerly wits doe filsh out of Bull the Hangmans budget, but I speake plaine English, and call thee a knaue in thine owne language. All the generation of you are Hipocrites and belli-gods, that deuoure as much good meat in one of your brotherly loue meetings, as would wel-nye victuall the Queenes ships a whole moneth. ”

“ I lyke such a wench that will stande to her tackling, why Bishoppes are but men, and she will carrie a Martin in her plackarde in despite of the proudest of them all. Learne of her you London Matrones, to make hodie-peeles of your husbandes, and leade them like good soules up and downe the streetes by the hornes, let it be seene by your courages in scolding, that women haue soules, which a balde eloquent brother of yours, denide not long since in his Sermon at Lichfielde. ”

“ If the dogge Martin barke againe, Ile hold him tugge for two or three courses, and then beware my blacke booke you were best, for I haue not halfe emboweld my register. Amend, amend, and glorie no more in your hipocrisie, least your pride and vaine glory betray our prosperitie to our enimies, and procure the Lords vengeance to dwell in the gates of our citie. The simple are abused, the ignorant deluded, and Gods truth most pitifully peruerted, and thou art that most wretched seducer, that vnder wolues raiment deuourest widowes houses. ”

“ Tis you that are so holy, that you wil not forsooth be seene to handle anie monie, nor take golde though it shoulde filch it selfe into your purse, but if God moued the heartes of anie of your brethren or sistren in the Lord, to bring in pots, beds or houshold stuffe into your house, you would go out of doores of purpose whiles it was brought in, and then if anie man aske you, how you come so well storde, your answere is that you know not how, but only by the prouidence of God. ”

“ Men are by men and may erre, yea goodman Spe. himselfe in Paules church-yard, although he saith he hath no sinne, what maruaile is it then, though some corruption cleaue vnto our aged Gentleman by his owne confession. Learne of me to iudge charitably, and thinke that nature tooke a scouring purgation, when she voided all her imperfections in the birth of one Martin: which if it be so, hee is not to be blamed, since as Arist. ”

“ Adam eate the Apple and gaue it to his wife, whereby is to be noted that the man eate and the woman eate, the man eate, but how, a snap and away: the woman eat, but how, she laide her thumbe on the stalke, and her finger on the coare and bitte it ouerthwart, in which byting it ouerthwart, she broke all the commaundements, insomuch as vnder ten greene spots the ten cōmmandments in euery Apple are comprised: and besides that corrupted her fiue senses. From whence wee may gather this obseruation, that a woman alwaies eates an Apple ouerthwart. ”

“ But you fond men, as in garments so in gouernment continually affecting new fashions, thinke no man can be saued yt hath not bin at Geneua. Your beleefe forsooth must be of that Scottish kinde, and your Bibles of the primitiue print, else your consciences God wot, are not of the cannonical cut, nor your opinions of the Apostles stamp. ”

“ The humours of my eies are the habitations of fountaines, and the circumference of my heart the enclosure of fearefull contrition, when I thinke howe many soules at that moment, shall carrie the name of Martine on their foreheads to the vale of confusion, in whose innocent bloude thou swimming to hell, shalt haue the tormentes of tenne thousande thousande sinners at once, inflicted vppon thee. There will enuie, mallice and dissimulation bee euer calling for vengeance agaynst thee, and incite whole legions of deuilles to thy deathlesse lamentation. ”

“ Holla, holla brother Martin, you are to hasty, what, Winter is no time to make warres in, you were best [26] stay til summer, and then both our brains wilbe in a better temperature, but I think ere that time your witte wilbe welny worn thredbare, and your banquerout inuention, cleane out at the elbowes, then are we well holpen vp with a witnesse, if the aged champion of Warwicke, doe not lay to his shoulders, and support discipline ready to lie in the dust, with some or other demonstration. I can tell you Phil. Stu. is a tall man also for that purpose. ”

“ What greater pride then that one man should aduance his iudgement, aboue the sentence of a whole congregation, as if he alone had the spirit of God. Pride ouerthrew the towr of Babell, prostrated Golias, hūg vp Haman, kild Nichanor, consumed Herod, destroied Antiochus, drowned Pharao, subuerted Senacherib, and I hope will also confound arrogant T.C. and all his accomplishes in the Lords good time. And now that I haue vnburdened my shoulders of the weight of his learning, Ile ribroste my brother Martin a litle, for obiecting to my Lord Archbishop, the not answering of his bookes. ”

“ Repent, repent thou runnagate lozill, and play not the Seminary any longer in corners, least thy chiefest benefactors forsake thee, and recouer the pouerty of their fines, by bringing the pursiuants to thy forme. I heare some vnderhande whisperers, and greeneheaded nouices exclaime against our Bishops, for not granting thee disputation. Alas alas brother Martin it may not be: for thou art known to be such a stale hackster, with thy welch hooke, that no honest man wil debase himselfe in buckling with such a braggar. ”

“ What talk I to him, of hel or damnation, whom Lucifer hath furnisht to infection, with the painted poison of snout-holy deuotion, and all the powers of darknesse, haue adorned as an intelligencer to their kingdome, of the infirmities in our flourishing Church of England. To this purpose haue they inspired him with a most scurrile spirite of lying, [12] that when his eagle-sighted enuy can truely atract no argument of infamy, his poetica licentia, may haue a fresh supply of possibilities, that encrease by cōtinuance to a compleat libell of leasings. ”

“ Many write bookes to knights and men of great place, and haue thankes, with promise of a further reward for their paines: others come of with a long Epistle to some rufling Courtier, that sweares swoundes and bloud as soone as euer their backe is turnd, a man can not goe in the streetes for these impudent beggers. ”

“ Simple English men, that cannot see into pollicie before it supprise your peace, nor interrupt the ambition of trechery, before it hath besieged your prosperitie. Doe you beholde whiles innouations bud, and do not you feare lest your children and family be poisoned with the fruit. The Scythians are barbarous, yet more fore-seeing then you, who so detested al forren innouations, tēding to the derogation of theyr ancient customes, that they kild Anacharsis for no other cause, but for yt he performed the rights of Sibil after the manner of the Grecians. ”

“ If you be remembred you were once put to your trumpes about it in Wolfes Printing-house, when as you would needes haue clari the infinitiue moode of a verbe passiue, which determined you went forwards after this order. Sunt there are, oculos eies, qui the which, cernis thou doest see, clari to be cleare, tanquam sydera as the Stars. Excellent well done of an old Maister of Arte, yet why may not hee by authority challenge to himselfe for this one peece of worke the degrees hee neuer tooke. Learning is a iewel my maisters, make much of it, and Phil. ”

“ A good vertuous Matrone is she and a wise, hauing no fault but this, that [55] she will be drunke once a day, and then she lyes her downe on her bedde, and cryes, O my God, my God, thou knowest I am drunke, and why I should offend thee my God by spuing thus, as I do. ”

“ Then see if hee doe not make three pounds a yeere of her ouer and aboue all costes and charges. I marie sir, is not this a husbande in deede, that besides the multiplying of the Church of God, in his householde ministerie, will keepe his wife and familie by crosse bargaines a whole twelue moneth. What woulde he doe my maisters, if he had two good legges, that wil thus bestirre him in his vocation with one and a stump. The world may saie he is lame, and so forth, but hee that had seene him runne from Houns the other daie, for getting his maide with childe, woulde neuer thinke so. ”

“ Thou art the man, olde Martin of Englande, that I am to deale withall, that striues to outstrip all our writers in witte, and iustle our gouernement forth of doores with a iest. What, wee must not let you passe with such fauourable tearmes, as our graue Fathers haue done, your Bookes must bee lookt ouer, and you beaten lyke a dogge for your lying. I thinke, I thinke I shall haue occasion to close with you sweetlie in your Hay anie worke for a Cooper, and cutte off the traynes of your tedious syllogismes, that [16] nowe haue no lesse then seauen or eight Termini waiting on them. ”

“ Those that bee neither hotte nor colde, Ile spue them out of my mouth, sayth the Lorde. Denie this, and Ile bring a whole Assizes, as Obsignatos testes of your trecherie. To come neerer to thee Brother Martin. Hast not thou in thy firste booke agaynst Doctour Bridges, as also in Hay anie worke for Cooper, excluded her Highnesse from all Ecclesiasticall gouernement, saying she hath neyther skill nor commission, as shee is a Magistrate, to substitute anie member or minister in the Church. ”

“ Marry God send vs more of her making, and then some of vs should not liue so discontēted as we do: for now a dayes, a man can not haue a bout with a Balletter, or write Midas habet aures asininas in great Romaine letters, but hee shall bee in daunger of a further displeasure. Well, come on it what will, Martin and I will allow of no such doinges, wee can cracke halfe a score blades in a backe-lane though a Constable come not to part vs. ”

“ I haue another in my tables, that handling that place of Iosua where Rahab entertained his spies, would needes conclude all Inkeepers to be harlots, because Rahab the harlot was an Inkeeper. I shall run my penne out of breath, if I articulate all the examples of their absurdeties that I could. Haue not Trinitie Hall men in Cambridge a preaching brother in Bury yet in sute, for saying all ciuillians were papists. ”

“ I haue not beene in Essex yet, but Ile set in my staffe there as I go home, for I haue a petition for my brother that made the Sermon of Repentance to deliuer vp for me to the Councell: but it must not be such a one as he deliuered for him selfe to my Lord Treasurer, beginning with O sweet Margery, could thy eyes see so fare, thy hands feele so farre, or thy eares heare so farre &c. for then euerie seruing man will mocke vs, but it must be of another tune, with most pitifully complaining, that a man can not call an Asse, asse, but he shall be had coram nobis. ”

“ Alas poore idiot, thou thinkest no man can write but thy selfe, or frame his pen to delight, except he straine curtesie with one of thy Northren figures, but if authority do not moderate, the fiery feruence of my enflamed zeale, ile assaile thee from terme to terme with Archilochus, in such a compleat armour of Iambicks, as the very reflexcye of my fury, shall make thee driue thy father before thee to the gallows, for begetting thee in such a bloody houre. ”

“ Nash himself speaks of his beardless years, in Pierce Penniless; and Gabriel Harvey, in his Pierce’s Supererogation, 1592, calls him “a gosling of the printing house;” and in another place “a proper young man;” and elsewhere, “a young man of the greenest spring, as beardless in judgment as in face:” so that he must have taken his degree of B.A. early in life, and we know that he never proceeded Master of Arts.
It would appear from the Introduction to the following tract that Nash had visited Italy. Mr. ”

“ All hopes shall shake the head at thee, and saie, there goes the poyson of puritie, the perfection of impietie, the serpentine seducer of simplicitie. Zeale her selfe will crie out vppon thee, and curse the time that euer shee was maskte by thy mallice, who lyke a blinde leader of the blinde, sufferedst her to stumble at euerie steppe in Religion, and madest her seeke in the dimnesse [22] of her sight, to murther her mother the Churche, from whose pappes thou lyke an enuious dogge but yesterdaie pluckest her. ”

“ Let vs giue God thankes for the safe deliuery of one of our sisters, for the other let vs not giue God thankes, for she is a straunger, and we haue nothing to doe with her, I take her to be Dinah the harlot, that sat by the high way side, for she hath a vayle ouer her face. ”

“ Martin Iunior, Martin Martinus, Pen. the scholler of Oxford to his friend in Cambridge, Pen. totum in toto, et totum in qualibet parte, was somtimes (if I be not deceiued) a scholler of that house in Cambridge whereof D. Per. was maister. Where, what his estimation was, the scorn wherin he liued can best relate. For the constitution of his bodie, it was so cleane contrarie to all phisiognomie of fame, that a man wold haue iudged by his face, God and nature deuising our disgrace, had enclosde a close stoole in skinne, and set a serpentine soule, like a counterfet diamond, more deepe in dong. ”

“ Whiles by study they search out more then they vnderstand, they breake forth into peruerse opinions, and whiles they neglect to be the schollers of truth, they most basely become the schoolemaisters of error. ”