John Murray

“ And never, I believe, did any man in public life enjoy more: he was the admiration of the many, and an object of the warmest affection in those social circles, in which it was his felicity to mingle. The pleasures of the table were highly zested by Mr. Whitefield, and it was the pride of his friends to procure for him every possible luxury. The pleasure I derived from this gentleman's preaching, from his society, and from the society of his friends, contributed to lessen the weight of melancholy, which depressed my spirits on my departure from home. ”

“ I leave you my dear son, to act a father's part, when I shall be here no more; let your mother, your brothers, and your sisters, receive from you that attention, and care, they can no more obtain from me; but, although I shall be no more with you, your God, your father's God, will never leave nor forsake you. Nay, my own beatified spirit may obtain increasing felicity, by being sometimes permitted to behold the order, and harmony of my beloved family, while collected before the throne of grace, with the love of God, and love of each other, glowing with divine ecstacy in every bosom. ”

“ Sir, I have the same authority for preaching, which the apostle Paul had; he received his mission by the will of God, so have I. "Ay, sir, give us the same miracles Paul wrought, and we will believe you." If the power of working miracles were necessary to prove a right to preach the gospel, perhaps you, sir, would be also at a loss to prove your own right, either to preach, or thus to question a fellow creature. "Sir, you are a deceitful, hypocritical man. If you had come properly in at the door, I should have received you; but you are an impostor, I pronounce you an impostor." ”

“ I continued, would that every individual were more intimately acquainted with that most elevating subject, the love of God to man, the never-beginning, never-ending love of God to man. This, sir, is a species of knowledge, which doth not puff up; but it lifts up, as on eagles' wings, ever mounting, never tiring, but still discovering, new wonders, through the wasteless ages of eternity. But man, poor, fallen man, who in his present state is enmity against God, is ever measuring the love and compassion of Deity, by his own scanty rule. ”

“ He was well acquainted with the religion of the world, and, possessing a happy facility of manifesting his knowledge, when it pleased God to show him his salvation,—when he had power given him to believe with his heart the word of God, which giveth life unto all men,—from the abundance of his believing heart, his mouth became full of the praises of his God; and wherever he went, so often as opportunity offered, he delighted to magnify the name of the Redeemer: spreading far, and wide, to the utmost of his abilities, the truth as it is in Jesus, the glad tidings of the gospel. ”

“ Is it possible, that you, a clergyman, highly distinguished, the head of the Presbytery, and now in the evening of life, should be so little acquainted with the scriptures, as to call the language of revelation, gibberish? "You know nothing about revelation; there never was an individual of the human race, that ever had any interest in Christ, or in God, until they had repentance and faith." Pardon me, sir; you do not believe this yourself. "I say, I do." Excuse me, sir; you certainly do not. "Give me leave to tell you, you have a great deal of impudence, thus to talk to me." ”

“ We have had a hard and bloody campaign, yet we ought rather to dwell upon the mercies we have received, than to repine because they are not greater. But man is a thankless creature; yet you, dear Murray, know, that the mercies of God are happily proportioned to our weakness. Retired to winter quarters, the social passions once more kindled into life. Love and friendship triumph over the heart, and the sweet pleasure of domestic happiness, call to remembrance my once happy circle of friends, in which you my dear Sir, appear in the first rank. ”

“ Sir, I once believed the faithful Creator had called into existence by far the greatest number of human beings, with no other intention, than to consign them to endless misery, rescuing only a few respected persons, from a state of sin and suffering. You will, my dear sir, probably regret that you have invited me hither, when I inform you, that the Christ, in whom I trust, and the gospel, which I preach, is not the Christ, of whom you expected to hear, nor the gospel, you supposed I should preach. ”

“ What is it to make any one a liar, but to deny the truth of what he has said? But, if God had no where said, he had given life to unbelievers, how could the unbeliever make God a liar? The stronger this argument seemed in favour of the grace and love of God, the more distressed and unhappy I became; and most earnestly did I wish, that Mr. Mason's pamphlet might contain something, that was more rational, more scriptural, than a mere pun; that he might be able to adduce proof positive, that the gift of God, which is everlasting life, was never given to any, but believers. ”

“ And I deemed myself happy, beyond expression happy, upon comparing myself with those, among whom I was compelled to live; who were posting, without concern, in what I deemed the road to ruin, from which I had, by divine favour, been mercifully drawn; my bosom swelled with the most delightful sensations, while I frequently exclaimed, Lord, why me? Why take me, and leave these poor, unfortunate beings to perish in a state of sin, and misery? But such was the sovereign will and pleasure of my God; he would have mercy, on whom he would have mercy, and whom he would be hardened. ”

“ Little shed tears, and entreated me to change my conduct. "You have," said she, "in this wide world no such friends, as we are disposed to prove ourselves; you will be abundantly more happy at home, than you can be abroad. You should supply to us the place of our deceased children: we expect consolation from your society. You are greatly beloved in this house; your enemies are not under this roof. For God's sake, if you have any regard for us, if you have any regard for any of your friends, if you would secure your own happiness, or the happiness of your mother, do not thus conduct." ”

“ Never before did I witness such sad, and heart-affecting sorrow: a gloomy Religion is always increased by scenes of melancholy, hence the horrors of my mind were beyond description. Every thing I had done, every word I had uttered, not strictly conformable to the rule of right, returned upon my mind with redoubled terror, and in the midst of these agonizing fears, I was violently seized by the same fever, which had destroyed my friend. ”

“ Yes, it is indeed true, that Mr. Murray considered the interests of the people of his charge as his own. Most fondly did he cherish, and perseveringly did he seek, by every possible means, to advance their reputation. He sympathized with the afflicted, and largely partook their sorrows; while, so often as the course of events brought joy to their bosoms, his eye beamed gladness, and his tongue exulted to dwell upon facts, which illumined the hours of his protracted pilgrimage. His voice, at the bed of death, was the herald of consolation. ”

“ I am, said I, I am, O Lord God, in thine hand, as clay in the hand of the potter. If thou, in thy providence, hast brought me into this new world to make known, unto this people, the grace and the blessings of the new covenant; if thou hast thought proper, by making choice of so weak an instrument, to confound the wise; if thou hast been pleased to show to a babe, possessing neither wisdom nor prudence, what thou hast hid from the wise and prudent,—be it so, O Father, for so it seemeth good in thy sight. ”

“ Murray laying his spread hand upon his breast, answered: "Sir, I feel such a consciousness of innocence here, that I know not what it is to fear. It is with perfect composure that I commit myself to God, and the Laws of this Commonwealth. If I have broken any law, let me be punished by law; but I bless God I am not a lawless person. Sir, I am a stranger to fear, I have committed no action worthy of punishment. Sir, I know not what it is to fear. No man can have any power over me, except it be given to him from above, no injury can be done me, but by the permission of my God. ”

“ Murray, how greatly you succeed, when engaged upon a theme which I emphatically call your own. I love to hear you speak upon any subject; but on this, you are, I had almost said, divine; your whole soul seems engaged, when dwelling upon the Redeemer, and His love to man; nothing but the voice of the God who made you, and who hath so wonderfully endowed you, can exceed the honied accents of your heaven-inspired tongue. Do you wonder that I am daily wishing myself among the number of your hearers, your happy hearers! ”

“ The impressions are too lasting to be effaced, and so deeply are they marked together, that, when the ideas of the great redemption arise in my mind, those of Relly and Murray, are inseparable therefrom, as the mediums through which sublime truth beamed upon my soul. I am desirous of anticipating that adult age, you so beautifully describe, when knowledge shall be conveyed, not by the obstructed tongue, or tardy pen, but by intuition. ”

“ I attended my mother home, with mingled sensations of pain, and pleasure; pain from the consideration, that I was leaving a family, which I had been accustomed to view as, in a very tender sense, my own; and with which I should never perhaps in like manner again associate; pleasure, from the reflection, that I was entering upon a new scene of life, from which I had a prospect, not only of independence, but affluence. It is true, upon my departure, which took place upon the succeeding morning, I wept bitterly, so did my widowed mother, and her children ”

“ I fear, my good sir, that when you hear me thus preaching the gospel, which God himself preached to Abraham, and which he testified by the mouth of all his holy prophets ever since the world began, your disappointment will be grievous. I know, sir, you have not been accustomed to hear of Universal Love, of boundless compassion; and these sounds may make you as angry, as they have made many of our brethren in every age. ”

“ I drew consolation from remembering, the time of suffering was not long; that there was a rest, a life of uninterrupted felicity, beyond the grave; that of this rest, this life, no power on earth could deprive me; and that I ought therefore quietly to wait, and patiently to hope, for the salvation of my God. Thus, although my night had been sleepless, my mind became so calm, and my spirit so greatly refreshed, that when the keeper opened the door in the morning, to inform me, that in three hours he should lodge me in Newgate, I answered with unaffected composure: I am ready, sir. ”

“ I recollect your preaching with pleasure, and I bless God for the light he has been pleased to convey to my mind, through your instrumentality; may your labours be blest with success; but I predict the genuine Gospel labourers will be but few. Poor man! you must stand singly opposed, without human aid: be persuaded that the conflict will be inferior to your strength. I really despise the world, for their treatment of you; but you know who says, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the World." What mildness was there in the majesty of the person of the Redeemer! ”

“ I have recently endeavoured to recollect how many gentlemen, the circle of my connexions from Maryland to New Hampshire contained, who were suspected of being unfriendly to the present order of things, and I could number but five persons, not an individual of whom has ever been proved inimical to American prosperity. For myself, I rejoice in the reflection, that I am a staunch friend to liberty, genuine liberty. It is well known that I have laboured to promote the cause of this country, and I rejoice that I have not laboured in vain. ”

“ I will, sir, in as plain english, as I can command;—and then, addressing the congregation, I thus delivered the genuine sentiments of my soul: I am commissioned to say, to every individual before me, that God loves you, and that you are not to accept this declaration upon my bare word; you have the word of a God, who cannot lie; who proclaims Himself loving unto every man; who has given you proof positive of His love. ”

“ We are dumb, our countenances are sad; our silence is sometimes broken by Mr. Little, who questions in anger, "Where is our young gentleman to-night? any society but ours!" Then follows a heavy sigh: "Well, let us go to bed, it will be late before he returns; but this will never do." We dare not open our lips, but my girls mingle their tears with mine. Greatly moved by these observations, I sincerely repented of my past conduct; and I determined I would, in all things, conform myself to the wishes of my parental friends. ”

“ Jesus never was, nor never will be, the Saviour of any unbeliever.
"Do you think Jesus is your Saviour, sir?"
I hope he is.
"Were you always a believer, sir?"
No, madam.
"Then you were once an unbeliever; that is, you once believed, that Jesus Christ was not your Saviour. Now, as you say, he never was, nor never will be, the Saviour of any unbeliever; as you were once an unbeliever, he never can be your Saviour." ”

“ To quit this house, to quit this country. The dear lady threw her maternal arms around me, and with flowing tears interrogated: "Is it thus you will avoid offending us? Ah, my dear child, how little do you know of us, or of yourself: For God's sake, let me persuade you not to take so rash a step! Where would you go, what would you do? Would you leave a home, an envied home, and thus, while you afflicted your dearest friends, gratify your malignant foes?" ”

“ The prayer, the sermon, the concluding prayer, deeply affected every one; and the evening witnessed a renewal of these pious exercises. Thus were our nights and days devoted, until the interment. On that day the throng was prodigious. The worth, the good actions of my father, were the theme of many a tongue; his praises were echoed, and re-echoed, while tears of sorrow moistened many an eye. Every one bore in his, or her hand, to the grave-yard, a sprig of bays, which, after the body was deposited, was thrown over the coffin. ”

“ My mother continued by his bedside, overwhelmed by sorrow; the slumbers of my father were sweet, calm, and unbroken, until near midnight, when she perceived he was awake, and believing him to be speaking, she inclined her ear to his lips, and heard him say, while his heart, his full heart, seemed nearly bursting: "The souls of believers are at their death made perfectly holy, and do immediately pass into glory; but their bodies, being still united to Christ, do rest in their graves till the resurrection." ”

“ But death comes not at call. In this situation I continued, bedewing the earth with my tears, until it pleased the kind God to speak peace to my tortured heart, and I seemed to hear a voice calling unto me, Be of good cheer, your God is with you, He will never leave you, nor forsake you; He is in the wide waste, as in the full city. ”

“ I took lodgings at a small distance from town, returning myself every day to London. The disorder advanced with terrific strides; my soul was tortured; every time I approached her chamber, even the sigh, which proclaimed she still lived, administered a melancholy relief. This was indeed a time of sorrow and distress, beyond what I had ever before known; I have been astonished how I existed through such scenes. Surely, in every time of trouble, God is a very present help. I was obliged to remove the dear creature, during her reduced situation, the house in which I had taken lodgings being sold ”

“ How often have I told you, that no enemy could ever injure you, if your own conduct was uniformly correct. You have deeply wounded a heart that loves you. I promised myself, that you would become a large addition to our domestic felicity. But you are apprehensive you have offended beyond forgiveness! Alas! my daughter is more distressed for you, than for herself; you know not how much she has suffered on your account; you know not how much we all suffer! Why, my dear child, will you thus afflict your best friends? ”

“ Religion was not a native of the soil, it was an exotic, which, when planted, could only be kept alive by the most persevering attention. Hence Religion became a subject of terror. I was not ten years old when I began to suffer; the discovery of my sufferings gave my fond father much pleasure, he cherished hope of me when he found me suffering from my fears, and much indeed was I tortured by the severe, unbending discipline of my father, and the terrifying apprehensions of what I had to expect from the God who created me. ”