John Trevena

“ Besides, he knows how fond I am of Aunt Sophy, and what great care I take of her. I have saved her from serious injury many a time, and that doesn't suit Percy at all. He wants the dear old lady to fall about, and hurt herself, and die of shock, so that he can get her money, which I hope will be a curse to him."
"I understand the position," said Nellie. "You really are going?" she added.
"I must go," replied George gloomily. "It is hard on both of us, but you must try to be brave, for we shall soon meet again. Aunt Sophy won't live long when she hasn't me to look after her." ”

“ Get Nellie, quick!" cried the lady; for Miss Yard had got away from her chair and was knocking things over.
Nellie appeared in full flower, to scold her mistress for not remaining dormant until her usual bedtime; but on this occasion Miss Yard rebelled against discipline.
"You have deceived me," she said bitterly. "You have been a little viper. Everybody in this house deceives me, and keeps things from me, except George. He is the only gentleman here. He's the only one who knows how to behave properly. ”

“ Nor was he much restored to gaiety by the joys of married life; for Matilda rapidly developed a flow of small talk which astounded him; when George ordered her to bring him a cup of tea she prescribed herself a glass of beer; and when he called for his slippers she threw the dirty boots at his head and told him to clean them. Matrimony was not all bee-keeping and rose-pruning for George.
Still more tragic were affairs at Drivelford, where Nellie and Sidney had come to realise that, for them at least, the married state was unattainable. ”

“ George Drake, the most respected man in Highfield, the sole gentleman, the fearless idler, was now a homeless fellow, a destitute person, without a scrap of inheritance he could call his own. The Drake whom they had honoured as a swan was hardly worth the price of a goose.
A gentleman was not defined by the worthies of Highfield as a man of good birth, but as one who declined all labour. ”

“ The secret of wealth is to invest your cash in those things which everybody must have. Now every man must buy tobacco and drink beer; they are necessities of life. And every woman must carry an umbrella. What is a woman's principal necessity next to an umbrella?"
"No respectable girl would even think of anything except umbrellas," replied Nellie. "But most girls are not respectable, I'm afraid, and, though it is a horrible confession to make, they cannot be happy unless they are constantly supplied with chocolates."
"Is that really the truth?" asked George, with much interest. ”

“ His Aunt Sophy he loved with good reason, for he made a living by mortgaging his fruit farm, and when the borrowed money was spent he had only to explain matters to Miss Yard, and she would pay off the mortgage and immediately forget all about it. Percy was not an idler like George, but he possessed little business capacity, and had selected a form of occupation about which he knew nothing whatever; and as he would be quite a rich man when his aunts departed, he did not take the trouble to learn. Nor did he care to consider such examples of longevity as the giant tortoise and the Yellow Leaf. ”

“ So I can never marry you, Sidney—at least, not until Miss Sophy dies."
"She'll have to be jolly quick about it," said the young man fiercely.
"She is very kind and considerate," Nellie murmured doubtfully; trying to work out the algebraical problem. If a Giant Tortoise is hale and hearty at five hundred, and a Yellow Leaf is trying to inveigle a Mere Bud towards the matrimonial altar at ninety-something, what is the reasonable expectation of life of an old Lady who has nothing to die for?
"All this time," said Sidney, "grandfather is peering at us, while Teenie is simply goggling. ”

“ I have kept a copy of aunt's will, which was properly drawn up by a lawyer, so I shall know how to do it. Then you must ask Aunt Sophy to sign it. Kezia and Bessie ought to be the witnesses. It would serve them right," said George, chuckling vastly.
"I'll have nothing to do with it," cried Nellie.
"Then I must work alone as usual. I'm not going to let you be defrauded. The only way to get justice is to help yourself," declared George. "There's Hunter now! He would give twopence with one hand and steal your last sovereign with the other. ”

“ I do hope you won't be the next, George. Of course you know poor Percy is gone," she wailed.
"You were very good in your young days," said George gallantly, "but you are still alive. There's nothing much the matter with Percy, except that he's going to get married."
"Take that woman away," snapped Miss Yard, "and make her stop growing. She gets worse every day."
"I finished long ago, thankye, miss," said Bessie.
"What a wicked story! She's done a lot since yesterday," complained Miss Yard. "Do let me have one peep at my dear little Nellie before they take her away." ”

“ The next thing we shall hear is that Hunter has gone to study the business habits and professional morals of the Esquimaux. Out with it, Nellie, or I shall suffer from a horrible suspicion that Percy has squared you."
"I have spoken nothing but the truth, and you won't squeeze anything more out of me," she said.
"When a fellow stays in lodgings," said George, "he must either read novels or go mad. I have been reading a quantity of novels, and they convinced me that women are deceitful beings."
"They have to protect themselves against the perfidy of men," cried Nellie. ”

“ Drake opened her heart and purse when she discovered George was about to accept a position as station-master. Miss Yard said she was sorry to hear he was giving up tomatoes, then in the same breath implored Percy to keep away from junctions where people were lost and trains collided with distressing frequency. Kezia mended linen, packed, and uttered many a dark saying about men who left their homes on Friday in the pride of life and were not heard of again. Percy assured his aunts they might always rely upon him to settle any difficulty. ”

“ Miss Yard's memory underwent all manner of shocks, when she found herself installed in the parlour of Windward House. She perceived her sister clearly enough, but where was Nellie, and what was George? She had completely forgotten Captain Drake until she turned her spectacles towards the Egyptian mummy; and then she asked questions which caused Mrs. Drake to use her smelling salts.
"This is George, our nephew. He does nothing for a living," said the widow severely. ”

“ George sought the opinion of the Dismal Gibcat, who replied that the house presided over by a wife was bound to be respectable, while the house ruled by spinster or widow was not; besides, a housekeeper could not be scowled at with impunity, whereas a wife might easily be taught all the accomplishments of her husband: that was to say, if the husband found it necessary to slander another man, or to deprive some woman of her character, the partner of his joys and sorrows would slander these persons too; whereas a housekeeper might find it her duty to defend them. ”

“ Having satisfied himself that the names of Jenkins and Alloway appeared upon it, he went downstairs with the undraped vases, thankful his visitor had called at the time of day when Miss Yard and Nellie were shut up together, and Kezia was occupied in the kitchen.
The millionaire stood in the attitude of a clergyman about to receive a child for baptism; and, when George extended one of the vases, he accepted it reverently, then walked to the window, examined it, tapped and stroked it, hugged and adored it, and very nearly kissed it, before turning to exclaim, "These are the goods, Mr. Drake!" ”

“ It's a pleasure to have some one to talk to, for your poor Aunt Sophy is getting so stupid, and George is no company at all. What do you think of George?" she asked suddenly.
"Not much," replied Percy with a laugh.
"I want to speak to you about George," Mrs. Drake continued. "You're the head of my family, so I should like your advice about the good-for-nothing creature. He is getting on for forty, and has never done a day's work in his life. He sleeps here, and takes his meals, and grumbles, and begs money—and, my dear Percy, he has been seen coming out of the public house. ”

“ You know, Nellie, you were rather too cross about mother, and—and I lost my temper because you wouldn't trust me, and I made up my mind you should."
"You are nearly as bad as George Drake," she declared.
"Nearly isn't quite."
"And who are you, please?"
"Oh, we are not of vast importance. My full name is Arthur Sidney Stanley. It was a shame to give me such names, as I can't possibly put my initials on anything. That little beast, Teenie, always calls me ass. We're not exactly paupers, as we own a big share in a number of stores all over the south. There's one at Drivelford." ”

“ Miss Yard did not know much about wickedness, therefore when a servant told her it was time for a cheque she always smiled and signed one. She could not understand why no servant would stay with her more than a few years; but, being a kind-hearted old soul, she was delighted to know one was going to marry a gentleman, another to open a drapery, and a third to retire altogether. It was not until she engaged a rather shy little orphan, whose name of Nellie Blisland was good enough to tempt anybody, as a lady-servant-companion-housekeeper, that the bank stopped writing to her ”

“ He may be a crook, a man of straw."
"He's all right," said George. "Crampy sent me a list of collectors I could trust, and his name is on it. I suppose Crampy himself is safe, as a firm of lawyers, who are supposed to be respectable, sent him down here."
"Crampy is as genuine as the rising sun. He's valuer to your Court of Probate, he's got a fixed place of business, his name's in the Directory. He's just got to tote fair, but he won't get rich till he grows more brain. I've known Crampy to pay down big money for a fake."
"He made me an offer for these vases," said George. ”

“ But what's the good of staying now Maria has gone to the seaside? I want to go home, and see my friends again," declared Miss Yard, declining the next garment until she should receive a satisfactory answer.
"This is your home," said Nellie.
"Then why don't we have tea parties, and why don't we meet every week to knit chest protectors for the people who eat one another?"
"Because we no longer live in a town full of old ladies with nothing to do." ”

“ Drake inquired.
"Yes, Aunt," said George, who was busy designing locomotives. "She asked me the way—at least the driver did. They were both strangers to me."
"Quite a young gal, warn't she, Mr. George?" appealed Kezia.
"Not more than eighteen, I should think. But she wore a wedding ring; I saw it distinctly."
"Yes, mum; I saw her drive past, so bold and staring. They say she's an actress, mum."
"How awful! I suppose she's his wife."
"Well, mum, us all hopes she is."
"The wretched young man! How can he be so wicked!"
"Is anybody wicked?" asked Miss Yard vacantly.
"Never mind, Sophy. ”

“ He told Robert the like, I fancy."
"My uncle generally found the soft answer a success," said George. "He told me once how another captain once called him 'a bullying old scoundrel with a face like a lobster-salad,' and he replied, 'You're a ewe-lamb.' The other man got madder than ever though, as my uncle said, you can't find anything much softer than a ewe-lamb. But Robert isn't always calling you a rich man. He's in our kitchen every evening, and he talks pretty freely when he has a drop of cocoa in him." ”

“ That was a rhyme, mum."
"I have heard quite enough," said Mrs. Drake wearily. "I wish to goodness I had never seen the fellow," she murmured.
The following week she visited the Captain's grave, staying longer than usual, and scribbling industriously on scraps of paper the whole evening. Next day the exodus took place, Kezia and Nellie accompanying the ladies to the seaside, while George remained in solitary possession. As any pretence of industry was no longer necessary, he settled down to enjoy a honeymoon with indolence, until a letter arrived to waken him completely. ”

“ What is it he does for a living?"
"Nothing whatever," said Mrs. Drake.
"I've got a weak back," George mumbled.
"He's got a weak back, Maria. He must try red flannel and peppermint plasters," said Miss Yard with barbaric simplicity.
"Stuff and nonsense! He's got the back of a whale, if he'd only use it. This is not Percy, our real nephew, who for some reason never comes near me, but my nephew by marriage. He's not your nephew really." ”

“ George promised.
"You shouldn't say such a wicked thing," cried Nellie.
"Are you suffering at all, Aunt?" he inquired, anxious to change the subject.
"I don't think so," said Miss Yard. "It's all going to be wonderfully peaceful. I'm so thankful!"
"Shall I ask the vicar to call?" George whispered.
"Of course not," said Nellie fretfully. "She would think he had come to prepare her. I am very sorry you sent for the doctor. Here's another beastly wasp! Do kill it."
"Is she packing my clothes?" whispered Miss Yard, peering over the bedspread. ”

“ Then Bessie proffered her bundle with a sorrowful smile. First of all she was to have the bed she had once slept on, then all the furniture in her bedroom, much of that in the parlour, half of that in the dining room, with "the pair of silver candlesticks given me by Louisa as a wedding present," most of the ornaments including the Chinese vases, the Egyptian mummy, and "any other little thing Mr. George does not care about." ”

“ So the male sex is the most deceitful after all."
"Why can't you stick to the subject?" said George sourly.
"Certainly," laughed Nellie. "This business about the furniture must be settled finally one way or the other. Are the Mudges to have anything, and, if not, how are they to be prevented from taking just what they want?"
"Robert and Bessie are not to take a stick from the house, or a stone from the garden; and they must give back the things they have stolen," replied George.
"Are those scraps of paper worth anything at all?" she demanded. ”