Kendell Foster Crossen

“ Kevan asked, bewildered. "Your Uncle Loki seemed happy that it was Ragnarok."
"He would be," the girl said bitterly. "Don't you understand, Kevan, Ragnarok is the end of the world."
"Oh, pshaw," scoffed Kevan. "People are always predicting the end of the world whenever there's a little argument."
"But I'm not people," Thrud said. "I'm the daughter of Thor, the granddaughter of Odin, and I tell you that Ragnarok means the complete destruction of the universe. Only Lif and Lifthrasir will be left to start a new world. ”

“ Kevan asked.
"It was the law of the land—and still is," said Alviss. "If the sun shines on any of the Little People while in Asgard, they turn to stone. Thor had tricked me. I would be there still if Hreidmar and Sindri hadn't come to rescue me. As soon as they carried me back to Midgard, the spell was gone and I was myself again. But Thrud was lost to me forever."
"Why didn't you go back some night and get her?" asked Kevan. Being a practical man, he added, "Or why didn't she run away and join you?"
"You're excessively stupid, even for a mortal," snapped the dwarf. ”

“ Loki said. "It's romance. In a way, it's legitimately part of my business. If love is a fire kindled in the heart, then surely the god of fire can concern himself with it. Tell me, Kevan MacGreene, is there anything in your mortal world which Thor might consider flattering to himself?"
Kevan thought for a minute and then suddenly remembered something. "I believe so," he said. "One of the days of our week is called Thursday. I believe that it was originally named after Thor." ”

“ Kevan had tried several times to get Thor's attention to bring up the matter of his challenge, but found it almost impossible to make himself heard above the roar of voices in the banquet hall. But the matter was finally settled for him by Odin, whose curiosity could no longer stand the strain.
"Quiet," shouted the chief of the gods, leaping to his feet. He struck the table a mighty blow with his hand, causing the mead cups to jump and spill. "Silence!" He waited until the shouting and talking died down. "The mortal who is our guest would like to challenge my son, Thor, on three riddles." ”

“ Now, a gnome, or a dwarf, if you prefer—he's been called both—named Alviss is one of the finest gneiss-makers in the world. Recently, he had just finished what he considered his masterpiece, a gneiss composed of some fifteen different minerals, and all of fifty feet long, when directly over the spot where it was located an atom bomb test was held. You can imagine the results. The gneiss was cracked beyond repair. Alviss, with certain provocation you must admit, is angry. In fact, he grows angrier every minute and I understand that he is on the verge of declaring open war against all mortals. ”

“ Kevan said. "If he fails to answer them, then I will claim his daughter, Thrud."
"Thrud, eh?" Odin said. A crafty look came into his eyes. "If it's only a matter of a woman, why not stay here and expound your riddles. I'll let you have one of the Valkyries. It'll be a much better bargain. They are all quite skilled in the arts of love and Thor is rather strict with Thrud so she may be a little too innocent for a man of the world such as yourself." ”

“ There were men whose vices corrupted the innocent and enslaved the free. And there was warfare on such a scale as never imagined by gods. As I watched, my strength grew."
"You watched the wrong people," Kevan said. "There are many good people—although I suppose you don't hear much of them. Still, I'm glad you were able to get free."
Loki's gaze switched to Kevan's companion. "Thrud," he said, "I'm sorry, but Ragnarok cannot be held back by a mere romance.... Goodbye, Kevan MacGreene." He spurred his horse and was gone. ”

“ I must admit that I'm grateful to you, Kevan MacGreene."
"Think nothing of it," Kevan said. He started to step through the hole, then hesitated. "There is one thing I'd like to know," he said.
"What?"
"What was in that mixture that stopped Ragnarok and is strong enough to hold the evil gods of Asgard?"
"Just what the recipe called for," Alviss said proudly. "All of the pitch-blende in the world. The egos of a general, a dictator, and a number of lesser persons. The vanity of some American Congressmen. The greed of an infinite number of men. ”

“ One lobbyist's expense account. Finger-nail cuttings from every politician in the world. All of these boiled together in the juice of man's inhumanity to man. Your world is now minus all of those things, but we achieved a brew which possessed more evil than Loki and his pack could stand."
"I can still remember the odor," Kevan said nodding.
"What it contained that may be of value, if used differently," said Alviss, "can sometime be regained by a world in which the mortals cannot misuse them. Although such action will also release Loki, it will then do no harm. ”

“ If you're looking for Thor, I can tell you one thing. He'll bore you to tears trying to show you how strong and smart he is. I'd rather be in chains than with Thor."
"Well," said Kevan, "the truth of the matter is that I don't want to see Thor, but I'm afraid I have to."
"Ah," said Loki, "is it a matter of asking Thor for some sort of intercession on behalf of the yeomen or peasants? I wasn't aware that we were still worshipped among people. It seems to me I remember Hermod returning from one of his trips with the news that other gods now had the concession among you mortals. ”

“ In the days when people had enough sense to believe in the Little People, diplomatic relations were handled on an individual basis. The individual who aroused the anger of a gnome would himself put out an offering of milk, with perhaps a wee drop of brandy in it, or offer him a new cloak and hood. But with the coming of such fine education that the Little People were forgotten there was a problem. ”

“ Now, what were you saying about not crossing the bridge in my jeep?"
"I don't believe it's safe," the serpent said. "I understand that fire and petrol do not mix well. You can walk across, y'know—it makes a splendid little outing. I believe the water and air keep the fire cool enough not to burn and I understand, in fact, that it's rather invigorating."
"Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but walk," Kevan said. He shut off the motor and climbed out of the jeep.
"You're quite sure it's safe?"
"Positive, old chap. It's safe for everyone except Thor. ”

“ A look of speculation crept into Loki's face as the explanation was being given.
"This is really very nice of you," he said when Kevan had finished. "I wonder if I might impose on you for another favor?"
"Of course," Kevan said promptly.
"I have three children," Loki said, "two boys and a girl. Would it be possible to get such a machine for each of them? I'm sure they would enjoy it."
Kevan nodded. "Television is wonderful for children," he said. "I understand they have some very delightful children's programs on, too. Do you think table models might do for them?"
"Anything," Loki said. ”

“ The old man is a stickler for convention, so you merely send him a message asking to call on him first before visiting Thor. Better not mention that you've already met me. The old man will be pleased that a mortal recognizes that he's still the head of the house. While you're talking to him, casually mention that you're going to challenge Thor to three new riddles. Be sure to stress the new."
Kevan nodded. He could see little sense in any of this, but was willing to grant that this was possibly because he was a stranger in the land.
"My father," continued Loki, "is a real pig for knowledge. ”

“ When each is back in the place where they were originally imprisoned, pour the contents of this bucket over Loki's chains, the silken cord that bound Fenris, the water in which Jormungandr coils, and the door to Niflheim. Then you can bring Thrud safely here."
"What's in it?" Kevan asked.
"There's no time to tell you now," Alviss said. "But I guarantee you that this will stop Ragnarok if you get there before the fighting has stopped. If you do as I say, it will also keep Loki and his pack chained up. There will be only one way they can ever get loose in the future—and that will be all right. ”

“ It was while being questioned by a fatherly doctor, who, it turned out, was a psychiatrist, that Kevan made his first slip. Usually he was more alert, but the hangover was demanding attention and he automatically admitted that he often heard voices. Under the pressure of questioning, while wondering if his head was really as hollow as it felt, he went into some detail on the voices and what they said. By the time he realized what was happening it was too late. He was classified as an unstable personality and was being ushered through the door reserved for those who weren't wanted. ”

“ Loki said promptly. "That's the general idea, although you'll need to get newer ones than that. The really old ones Thor will know. Can you manage some more modern ones?"
"I'll try," Kevan said. He remembered that his mother had often read riddles to him as a child and he thought he could recall some of them.
"About three good riddles should be about right. When you get to Belskirnir, the first thing you'd better do is tip off Thrud why you're there. Then you challenge Thor to guess your three riddles. ”

“ It was a news broadcast, which normally would have interested him, but he was more curious to see Loki's reaction. The god was staring at the screen with bulging eyes. Satisfied, Kevan turned the volume down so that he wouldn't have to compete with the announcer's voice.
"That," he said, "happens to be what we call a news broadcast. That is, the man is telling what is actually happening in the world of the mortals. But you will find other things that are more amusing. ”

“ Kevan MacGreene got over in the farthest corner and huddled against the wall. He had no idea of how much time passed, but the tunnel was suddenly choked with the comings and goings of Little People. He noticed that some carried pickaxes, some were armed with huge needles, and others carried bags. While some were still going out on the orders of Alviss, others were returning and mysterious objects were being dropped in a new cauldron. Alviss was already stirring and chanting before the last of the workers returned. ”

“ When men are not evil, then their gods dare not be. Now, be along with you, Kevan MacGreene—I have a spot of courting to do."
Kevan stepped through the hole and found himself in a subway station. He hurried up the stairs and a moment later stepped out on the streets of New York.
While he'd been sure that it was almost daylight when he'd left Alviss, here it was only approaching evening. ”

“ The chains were tight so that he had little room to move about. Directly above the cave a large serpent was lying. Its open mouth was just above the entrance to the cave and its venom was steadily dripping from the gleaming fangs toward the man below. But standing alongside of the cave was a beautiful blonde—and, Kevan noted with some embarrassment, scantily-clad—young woman. She held a silver cup in her hand in which she caught the dripping venom just before it reached the young man.
"By Gimli," the young man was saying as Kevan arrived, "you took long to empty that last draught, Signe. ”

“ Kevan said. "After all, they are electrically powered and I doubt if they have many modern conveniences here."
"No problem at all," the voice said cheerfully. "Electrical objects become so charged during teleportation that they run for a long time. Did you want to give Loki a radio?"
"No, I was thinking of a television set. Perhaps one with a twenty-four inch screen. Now, after your information, I'm even more sure that this will make a superb gift for him. If you are correct in saying that he's the god of the evil, some good wholesome entertainment may be good for him. ”

“ It did occur to him that he should have recommended a few good programs for Loki, perhaps one or two of a spiritual nature, but he decided against turning back to correct it. There was a possibility that a god might resent being instructed by a mere mortal.
Kevan walked rapidly along the broad path he discovered and it wasn't long before he arrived at what Loki had called the first station—although in reality it was little more than a thatched hut. Kevan entered and soon composed the two messages which he wanted to send to Thor and Odin. ”

“ You'll be quite ready to go to work at once?"
Kevan MacGreene was more confused than ever, but a generous streak of stubbornness came to his aid. "You may be satisfied," he said, dropping into the chair in front of the desk, "but I want to know something about the job before I take it. What does Troubleshooters, Inc., do?"
"You don't know?" the little man asked in surprise.
Kevan shook his head, an act which painfully reminded him of his headache.
"Oh, well," sighed Brian Shanachie, "but it'll have to be brief. There is an emergency. Tell me, Kevan MacGreene, you know of the Little People?" ”

“ It's been going on ever since Finbheara endorsed Macushla's Magic Beard Groom, claiming that he had the longest beard in all Midgard. Iubdan brought suit in the Court of the Leprechauns to prove Finbheara a liar, but then Geanncanac and Daoine Glas called both of them liars and so it started."
"Do you think it'll last long?" Kevan asked anxiously.
"Until there's not a hair left on the chin of a one of them," the gnome said with anticipation. "Then they'll retire for a few hours until their beards grow back—and they'll be at it again. Isn't it heavenly?" ”