L. T. Meade

“ As I write these words there is not a happier girl in England. My name is Primrose Ward, and I am just of age. I have been well educated, and am now a student at Newnham. I have no mother, nor any brothers and sisters, but I have a father. This story has a good deal to say to my father. I never thought him perfect, but I have always loved him; I love him still. He is a handsome man of sixty years of age, he is considered aristocratic, and he moves in the best society. He has no settled home, and financial crises come into his life, as a rule, once or twice every year. ”

“ I said with spirit. "Any girl who deliberately marries an old man for his wealth and position does wrong. If she is unhappy afterwards she has only herself to blame."
"You think so," he answered slowly; "are those your real sentiments?"
"Undoubtedly," I replied.
His eyes flashed with a queer light, his smoooth face underwent a revolution. All in a moment it looked crooked and distorted. He said something coldly polite in a voice which I scarcely recognised as his, and then made way for Captain Lawford, who came up eagerly to claim me as his partner. ”

“ I!—I have fallen in love with the dearest, the prettiest, the best girl in the world. I want her answer, I want to know if there is a ghost of hope for me. Primrose, I thought I read something in your face to-day. I would give my life for you. Answer me, darling, answer me. Never mind the shortness of our acquaintance; we have known each other in some other state, we are not strangers. Do not our hearts each respond to the other? Primrose, say it is true. ”

“ Is it true that the old man's darling has more liberty than the independent unmarried girl—the girl of the present day—who is poor, doubtless, and lives in a tiny flat, and earns, perhaps, by hard work, five shillings an hour, but who has liberty unbounded, who is free as the air? Is it true. Sir Henry, that your wife will be better off as regards freedom than the unmarried girl whom I have just described? ”

“ Perhaps the cold water will loosen your tongue—the balance is uneven, Primrose, but love can put it straight. Talk to me of love. What! you fear the cold water, but my arms will be round you, our lips shall meet, even if it is in the embrace of death. Come!"
He dragged me forward. The ice cracked and shivered. I thought my last hour had arrived. Suddenly a voice shouted in our ears.
"Let go, sir! You coward, let go this minute."
A man skated rapidly up. I turned and looked in his face. His blue eyes flashed back a gleam of comfort into mine. He was Charlie, Captain Lawford ”

“ With that salvation ends the painful part of my story, for Sir Henry, who sank almost as soon as I did, was not rescued in time from the grip of that icy embrace. When they brought him to the shore he was dead. Thus ends my tragedy. I could not pretend to mourn for the man I had never loved, and whose mind was already trembling, to a dangerous degree, in the balance. My tragedy is over, thank God! but my love story goes on. Charlie and I are engaged. We are not to be married for a year, and I am going back to Newnham after all. By the way, Charlie approves of the Modern Woman. ”

“ Before lunch to-day you were the most delightful girl in the world. We were friends, real friends, comrades, the shortness of our acquaintanceship did not matter. We had tastes in common, feelings, all the rest. By the most accursed ill-luck I was allotted to the wrong girl while out riding, and since then you have been different; I see it in your face. What is wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," I answered; "why do you question me so closely?" ”

“ Sir Henry has promised to set me on my feet again. He will meet the bill for me. If you refuse him, all is up. If I fall, I shall drag down others in my ruin. What is one girl's happiness where so many are concerned; and Sir Henry will make you a good husband. If you marry him all this misery will be averted. ”

“ I could not add any more, it was impossible for me to mention Captain Lawford's name. My father took hold of my hand and drew me close to him.
"This is a very serious matter," he said; "you are a very young and inexperienced girl. I think I can read your thoughts. There is another man here who has paid you attentions. Notwithstanding the shortness of your acquaintanceship, he has marked you out in a way which, under the circumstances, is nothing short of insulting. I allude to Captain Lawford. You know, of course, that he is engaged to another woman." ”

“ Should I give up my own happiness for the sake of another. Should I turn my back on the man I loved? Yes, I knew it now. Whether Charlie was engaged or not, I loved him with all the strength of my youth. I thought out the problem, and in my own way I answered it. Before that evening arrived I had accepted Sir Henry's offer. As a matter of course I was congratulated and the engagement publicly announced. The only person who did not give me pleasant words and smiles was Captain Lawford, but he had left Pine Woods early in the day. ”

“ I left the library and returned to my own room. There I spent the blackest hour of my life. All in a moment, from the careless, happy life of a Newnham student, I found myself confronting one of the great problems of the world. ”

“ I feel that it will remain with me as long as I live. I never saw a woman before who quite seemed to fit to all my requirements. You are young, strong, beautiful; you are well educated, you have got a mind. ”

“ The married woman takes a different place in society; she has freedoms which the unmarried girl cannot enjoy. You will understand someday; I cannot explain."
Sir Henry talked then on all sorts of matters, and I pretended to listen to him with my head in the air and my eyes gazing straight before me. Now and then my laughter rang out clear and full. Of course, it didn't matter in the least whether Captain Lawford was engaged or not ”

“ I had an invitation to join my father at Pine Woods. Pine Woods is the well-known and very beautiful seat of the Winchilseas. There was to be a large house party. I did not particularly want to go. I should have much preferred spending Christmas with a college friend in a small flat in town ”