Molière

“ It drives me mad to hear folk talk such nonsense.
MARIANE
Oh dear, Dorine you get in such a temper!
You have no sympathy for people's troubles.
DORINE
I have no sympathy when folk talk nonsense,
And flatten out as you do, at a pinch.
MARIANE
But what can you expect?—if one is timid?—
DORINE
But what is love worth, if it has no courage?
MARIANE
Am I not constant in my love for him?
Is't not his place to win me from my father?
DORINE
But if your father is a crazy fool,
And quite bewitched with his Tartuffe? And breaks
His bounden word? Is that your lover's fault? ”

“ DORINE (to Orgon)
It is a man who comes, with civil manners,
Sent by Tartuffe, he says, upon an errand
That you'll be pleased with.
CLEANTE (to Orgon)
Surely you must see him,
And find out who he is, and what he wants.
ORGON (to Cleante)
Perhaps he's come to make it up between us:
How shall I treat him?
CLEANTE
You must not get angry;
And if he talks of reconciliation
Accept it.
MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
Sir, good-day. And Heaven send
Harm to your enemies, favour to you. ”

“ Love without scandal, pleasure without fear.
ELMIRE
I've heard you through—your speech is clear, at least.
But don't you fear that I may take a fancy
To tell my husband of your gallant passion,
And that a prompt report of this affair
May somewhat change the friendship which he bears you?
TARTUFFE
I know that you're too good and generous,
That you will pardon my temerity,
Excuse, upon the score of human frailty,
The violence of passion that offends you,
And not forget, when you consult your mirror,
That I'm not blind, and man is made of flesh. ”

“ You may discover in a woman's heart?
TARTUFFE
But if my worship wins your gracious favour,
Then why refuse me some sure proof thereof?
ELMIRE
But how can I consent to what you wish,
Without offending Heaven you talk so much of?
TARTUFFE
If Heaven is all that stands now in my way,
I'll easily remove that little hindrance;
Your heart need not hold back for such a trifle.
ELMIRE
But they affright us so with Heaven's commands!
TARTUFFE
I can dispel these foolish fears, dear madam;
I know the art of pacifying scruples
Heaven forbids, 'tis true, some satisfactions ”

“ DORINE
He passes for a saint in your opinion.
In fact, he's nothing but a hypocrite.
MADAME PERNELLE
Just listen to her tongue!
DORINE
I wouldn't trust him,
Nor yet his Lawrence, without bonds and surety.
MADAME PERNELLE
I don't know what the servant's character
May be; but I can guarantee the master
A holy man. You hate him and reject him
Because he tells home truths to all of you.
'Tis sin alone that moves his heart to anger,
And heaven's interest is his only motive.
DORINE
Of course. But why, especially of late,
Can he let nobody come near the house? ”

“ TARTUFFE
Sir, it is half-past three; certain devotions
Recall me to my closet; you'll forgive me
For leaving you so soon.
CLEANTE (alone)
Ah!
SCENE II
ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE
DORINE (to Cleante)
Sir, we beg you
To help us all you can in her behalf;
She's suffering almost more than heart can bear;
This match her father means to make to-night
Drives her each moment to despair. He's coming.
Let us unite our efforts now, we beg you,
And try by strength or skill to change his purpose.
SCENE III
ORGON, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DORINE
ORGON
So ho! ”

“ But now, methinks,
They mustn't find you chattering together.
(To Valere)
You, go at once and set your friends at work
To make him keep his word to you; while we
Will bring the brother's influence to bear,
And get the step-mother on our side, too.
Good-bye.
VALERE (to Mariane)
Whatever efforts we may make,
My greatest hope, be sure, must rest on you.
MARIANE (to Valere)
I cannot answer for my father's whims;
But no one save Valere shall ever have me.
VALERE
You thrill me through with joy! Whatever comes . . .
DORINE
Oho! These lovers! Never done with prattling! ”

“ DORINE
Poor man!
MADAME PERNELLE
My son, I cannot possibly
Believe he could intend so black a deed.
ORGON
What?
MADAME PERNELLE
Worthy men are still the sport of envy.
ORGON
Mother, what do you mean by such a speech?
MADAME PERNELLE
There are strange goings-on about your house,
And everybody knows your people hate him.
ORGON
What's that to do with what I tell you now?
MADAME PERNELLE
I always said, my son, when you were little:
That virtue here below is hated ever;
The envious may die, but envy never.
ORGON
What's that fine speech to do with present facts? ”

“ DORINE
Yes, so he says himself. Such vanity
But ill accords with pious living, sir.
The man who cares for holiness alone
Should not so loudly boast his name and birth;
The humble ways of genuine devoutness
Brook not so much display of earthly pride.
Why should he be so vain? . . . But I offend you:
Let's leave his rank, then,—take the man himself:
Can you without compunction give a man
Like him possession of a girl like her?
Think what a scandal's sure to come of it!
Virtue is at the mercy of the fates,
When a girl's married to a man she hates ”

“ And he loves none but you, and longs for nothing
But just to marry you, I stake my life on't.
MARIANE (to Valere)
Why did you give me such advice then, pray?
VALERE (to Mariane)
Why ask for my advice on such a matter?
DORINE
You both are daft, I tell you. Here, your hands.
(To Valere)
Come, yours.
VALERE (giving Dorine his hand)
What for?
DORINE (to Mariane)
Now, yours.
MARIANE (giving Dorine her hand)
But what's the use?
DORINE
Oh, quick now, come along. There, both of you—
You love each other better than you think. ”

“ Tartuffe is well enough . . .
DORINE
A pretty phiz!
ORGON
So that, although you may not care at all
For his best qualities . . .
DORINE
A handsome dowry!
(Orgon turns and stands in front of her, with arms folded, eyeing her.)
Were I in her place, any man should rue it
Who married me by force, that's mighty certain;
I'd let him know, and that within a week,
A woman's vengeance isn't far to seek.
ORGON (to Dorine)
So—nothing that I say has any weight?
DORINE
Eh? What's wrong now? I didn't speak to you. ”

“ TARTUFFE
Why take such care for him? Between ourselves,
He is a man to lead round by the nose.
He's capable of glorying in our meetings;
I've fooled him so, he'd see all, and deny it.
ELMIRE
No matter; go, I beg you, look about,
And carefully examine every corner.
SCENE VI
ORGON, ELMIRE
ORGON (crawling out from under the table)
That is, I own, a man . . . abominable!
I can't get over it; the whole thing floors me.
ELMIRE
What? You come out so soon? You cannot mean it!
Get back under the table; 'tis not time yet ”

“ Mr. Tartuffe, your friend, is mighty lucky . . .
MADAME PERNELLE
He is a holy man, and must be heeded;
I can't endure, with any show of patience,
To hear a scatterbrains like you attack him.
DAMIS
What! Shall I let a bigot criticaster
Come and usurp a tyrant's power here?
And shall we never dare amuse ourselves
Till this fine gentleman deigns to consent?
DORINE
If we must hark to him, and heed his maxims,
There's not a thing we do but what's a crime ”

“ TARTUFFE
Would you accept this bit of licorice?
ELMIRE
The case is obstinate, I find; and all
The licorice in the world will do no good.
TARTUFFE
'Tis very trying.
ELMIRE
More than words can say.
TARTUFFE
In any case, your scruple's easily
Removed. With me you're sure of secrecy,
And there's no harm unless a thing is known.
The public scandal is what brings offence,
And secret sinning is not sin at all. ”

“ DORINE
Well,
We'll try all sorts of ways.
(To Mariane)
Your father's daft;
(To Valere)
This plan is nonsense.
(To Mariane)
You had better humour
His notions by a semblance of consent,
So that in case of danger, you can still
Find means to block the marriage by delay.
If you gain time, the rest is easy, trust me.
One day you'll fool them with a sudden illness,
Causing delay; another day, ill omens:
You've met a funeral, or broke a mirror,
Or dreamed of muddy water. Best of all,
They cannot marry you to anyone
Without your saying yes. ”

“ ORGON
These girls are ninnies!—always turning nuns
When fathers thwart their silly love-affairs.
Get on your feet! The more you hate to have him,
The more 'twill help you earn your soul's salvation.
So, mortify your senses by this marriage,
And don't vex me about it any more.
DORINE
But what . . . ?
ORGON
You hold your tongue, before your betters.
Don't dare to say a single word, I tell you.
CLEANTE
If you will let me answer, and advise . . .
ORGON
Brother, I value your advice most highly;
'Tis well thought out; no better can be had ”

“ MARIANE
To do so is the height of my ambition.
ORGON
Excellent well. What say you of—Tartuffe?
MARIANE
Who? I?
ORGON
Yes, you. Look to it how you answer.
MARIANE
Why! I'll say of him—anything you please.
SCENE II
ORGON, MARIANE, DORINE (coming in quietly and standing behind Orgon, so that he does not see her)
ORGON
Well spoken. A good girl. Say then, my daughter,
That all his person shines with noble merit,
That he has won your heart, and you would like
To have him, by my choice, become your husband.
Eh?
MARIANE
Eh? ”

“ DORINE
So ho! Go slow now. Just you leave the fellow—
Your father too—in your step-mother's hands.
She has some influence with this Tartuffe,
He makes a point of heeding all she says,
And I suspect that he is fond of her.
Would God 'twere true!—'Twould be the height of humour
Now, she has sent for him, in your behalf,
To sound him on this marriage, to find out
What his ideas are, and to show him plainly
What troubles he may cause, if he persists
In giving countenance to this design. ”

“ With me you need not fear a public scandal.
These court gallants, that women are so fond of,
Are boastful of their acts, and vain in speech;
They always brag in public of their progress;
Soon as a favour's granted, they'll divulge it;
Their tattling tongues, if you but trust to them,
Will foul the altar where their hearts have worshipped.
But men like me are so discreet in love,
That you may trust their lasting secrecy.
The care we take to guard our own good name
May fully guarantee the one we love ”

“ And even insists, to spite the scandal-mongers,
That we shall be together constantly;
So that is how, without the risk of blame,
I can be here locked up with you alone,
And can reveal to you my heart, perhaps
Only too ready to allow your passion.
TARTUFFE
Your words are somewhat hard to understand,
Madam; just now you used a different style.
ELMIRE
If that refusal has offended you,
How little do you know a woman's heart! ”

“ ELMIRE (to Dorine)
Send him to me.
DORINE (to Elmire)
The man's a crafty codger,
Perhaps you'll find it difficult to catch him.
ELMIRE (to Dorine)
Oh no! A lover's never hard to cheat,
And self-conceit leads straight to self-deceit.
Bid him come down to me.
(To Cleante and Mariane)
And you, withdraw. ”