Montague Glass

“ Feldman exclaimed.
"That's Birdie Goldblatt," Margolius replied, blushing. "But Fannie—that's a different proposition, Mr. Feldman. Well, Goldblatt gives me all kinds of inducements; but I ain't that kind, Mr. Feldman. If I would marry I would marry for love, and it wouldn't make no difference to me if the girl would have it, say, for example, only two thousand dollars. I would marry her anyway."
"Very commendable," Mr. Feldman murmured.
"But Fannie Goldblatt—that is somebody a young feller wouldn't consider, not if her hair hung with diamonds, Mr. Feldman," Margolius [10] continued. ”

“ Philip Margolius cried bitterly; "that's a business for a business man! If a feller's in the clothing business and it comes bad times, Mr. Feldman, he can sell it his goods at cost and live anyhow; but if a feller's in the real-estate business, Mr. Feldman, and it comes bad times, he can't not only sell his houses, but he couldn't give 'em away yet, and [4] when the second mortgage forecloses he gets deficiency judgments against him." ”

“ Feigenbaum gasped. He felt that he was a drowning man and looked around him for floating straws.
"I ain't so helpless like some other ladies that I know," Miss Goldblatt went on. "My poor mother, selig, was a good housekeeper, and she taught me everything what she knew. She used [32] to say: 'The feller what gets my Fannie won't never die of the indigestion.'"
Feigenbaum nodded gloomily. ”

“ Philip cried; "I come once, the first time, to see your sister, and the other times I come to see you."
"Ain't you got a nerve?" Miss Goldblatt exclaimed.
"Why do I got a nerve?" Philip asked. "Miss Goldblatt—Birdie, what's the matter with me, anyway? I'm young yet—I ain't only thirty-two—and I got a good name in the cloak and suit business as a salesman. Ask anybody. I can make it my five thousand a year easy. And supposing I am a foreigner? There's lots of up-to-date American young fellers what [17] couldn't keep you in hairpins, Birdie." ”

“ It ain't enough for that loafer that he disappointed her himself, but he also got to bring around here that one-eyed feller—another such lowlife as Margolius—and he also disappoints [66] Fannie. That feller Margolius is a dawg, Birdie, believe me."
Birdie rose from her seat and threw her napkin on to the floor.
"I won't sit here and listen to such talk," she cried and ran out of the room. For a moment Goldblatt essayed to finish his dinner, and then he, too, rose and followed Birdie. He found her weeping on the parlour lounge.
"Birdie!" he cried. "Birdiechen, what are you taking on so for?" ”

“ Fannie hazarded.
"No, I live in Pennsylvania," said Feigenbaum. "But I used to live in New York when I was a young feller."
"Why, you're a young feller yet," Fannie suggested coyly.
"Me, I ain't so young no longer," Feigenbaum answered. "At my age I could have it already grandchildren old enough to bring in a couple dollars a week selling papers."
"I believe you should bring up children sensible, too," Miss Goldblatt agreed heartily. "If I had children I would teach 'em they [31] should earn and save money young." ”

“ Feldman, I used hours and hours of the best salesmanship on that feller," Margolius answered, "and all he says is that he wouldn't have to pay no interest, insurance and taxes on a deficiency judgment, [5] while a house what stands vacant you got to all the time be paying out money."
"But as soon as they put the subway through," Mr. Feldman continued, "that property around Two Hundred and Sixty-fourth Street and Heidenfeld Avenue will go up tremendously."
"Sure I know," Margolius agreed; "but when a feller's got four double flat-houses and every flat yet vacant, futures don't cut no ice. ”

“ Levy replied. "A feller like that deserves all he gets, and you can bet yer sweet life he won't have any let-up from me, Mr. Goldblatt."
Levy was as good as his word, for that very afternoon he filed a notice of pendency of action against the Heidenfeld Avenue property, and the next morning, as Philip left his house, a clerk from Levy's office served him with four copies of the summons and complaint in the foreclosure suit of Goldblatt vs. [46] Margolius, actions numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4. But Philip stuffed them into his pocket unread; he had other and more poignant woes than foreclosure suits. ”

“ And then for the first time it occurred to him that not only was One-eye Feigenbaum proprietor of the H. F. Cloak Company and its six stores in the northern-tier counties of Pennsylvania, but that he was also a bachelor. Moreover, a bachelor with one eye and the singularly unprepossessing appearance of Henry Feigenbaum would be just the kind of person to present to Fannie Goldblatt, for Feigenbaum, by reason of his own [23] infirmity, could not cavil at Fannie's black moustache, and as for Fannie—well, Fannie would be glad to take what she could get. ”

“ Forthwith, the auctioneer announced a week's adjournment of the four sales, and Philip resumed his wedding ring with a parting diabolical grin at Goldblatt, and left the auction-room. He went to the nearest telephone pay station and rang up the Goldblatt residence, [61] but for over half an hour he received only Central's assurance that as soon as there was an answer she would call him.
"But, Central," he protested, "there's got to be somebody there. They can't all be out." ”

“ Daily the same scene was enacted at the Goldblatt residence on One Hundred and Eighteenth Street, and daily Birdie refused to forsake her sister, until six weeks had elapsed.
"But, Birdie," Philip announced for the hundredth time, "so sure as you stand there I couldn't keep this up no longer. I will either go crazy or either I will jump in the river." [48]
Birdie patted him on the back.
"Don't think about it," she said. "Take your mind off it. To-day your property gets sold and Popper says he will be down at the salesroom at twelve o'clock."
"Let 'em sell it," Philip cried; "I don't care." ”

“ Philip whispered, "how about the old man?"
"Don't you worry about him," she said. "He went to Brownsville to play auction pinocle, and I bet yer he don't get home till five o'clock."
Half an hour afterward they sat [36] around the dining-room table, and Fannie helped Feigenbaum to a piece of gefüllte Fische, a delicacy which never appears on the menus of rural hotels in Pennsylvania. At the first mouthful Feigenbaum looked at Fannie Goldblatt, and while, to be sure, she did have some hair on her upper lip, it was only a slight down which at the second mouthful became still slighter. ”

“ Although I got to admit I did go up to Goldblatt's house a great many times, because, supposing she does got a moustache, she could cook gefüllte Fische and Fleischkugeln better as Delmonico's already. ”

“ He dug his hand into his trousers pocket and produced a ring containing a solitaire diamond as big as a hazelnut.
"I took a chance on the size already," he said, "but I bet yer it will fit like it was tailor-made." ”