Mrs. Wilson Woodrow

“ I ain't, Celia, you're my flesh an' blood, an' I got the what-y'-may-call-it that the Bishop talks about—the mother-love for you. But what I got for Mis' Evans is respect. Why, that woman ain't no bigger'n a minute, and yet she's all mind. Don't tell me that Effie Evans' brains is in her head. They ain't nothin' of the kind. They're all over her, in her hands an' feet an' everywheres. I do solemnly believe that she kin think harder with one of her little toes than most people with their whole brain. And Marthy Thomas ain't so slow, neither, when she kin get men outen her head. ”

“ Evans paused half way to the gate to fling this over her shoulder.
"Ef you see Celia, tell her to come a-runnin'," adjured Mrs. Nitschkan dejectedly from the door.
Meanwhile Celia, just seventeen, was loitering down the piny trails beside a handsome young fellow with clean, well set-up limbs and a determined, earnest face. Pretty Celia was the capable daughter of an incompetent mother. Educators discourse much on the value of a proper environment and training for the young of the human species; but theories aside, practical results seem rather in favor of casting the "bantling on the rocks" ”

“ The two ladies exchanged glances at once expressing indignant credence and complete comprehension.
"Ain't that just like Sadie Nitschkan?" demanded Mrs. Thomas of Mrs. Evans. "It do beat the dogs."
Her tiny friend shrugged her shoulders in impatience, "Look a-here, Celia," she began authoritatively, "there ain't no reason why you and Harve shouldn't get married. You can't neither of you expect to get nothin' better than each other. Your Paw's on your side, ain't he? Yes. Well, now, me and Mis' Thomas'll help. ”

“ Look here! Did you ever see anything like it?" pointing to the cards in neat rows before her; "trouble, trouble, nothin' but trouble. If it ain't actual murder an' death, it's too near it to be any joke. Look how them spades turns up every whipstitch, an' Gosh A'mighty knows trouble's come to me while you been gone. Celia, how kin folks doubt?"
"What's happened, Mommie? I saw Mis' Evans an' Mis' Thomas an' Mis' Landvetter with their heads together; what's up now?"
"This here's a Wednesday," groaned Mrs. Nitschkan; "well, next Tuesday night I got to entertain those dratted Bon Amis. ”

“ Nitschkan emphatically, "an' sacrifice myself to stay home an' punish 'em when I might be jantin' 'round my own self; to have 'em go and get married just when they get to the useful age."
"Well, that's between you and her," replied Mrs. Evans coldly; "though I will say, Sadie Nitschkan, that there ain't a soul in this camp that don't consider but what you're actin' real devilish to Celia. ”

“ Evans magnificently. "Go on to the kitchen, Mrs. Landvetter, and get some good, strong, hot coffee ready to pour into her when she gets the strikes.'"
"Don't you want Harve?" asked Celia, with reluctant generosity. "He ain't afraid of anything, even of Mommie."
"This ain't no time for men folks. When a female has to be dealt with, it takes females to do it," replied her mentor.
A moment later she pushed her way through the throng and touched Mrs. Nitschkan on the elbow.
"Come here a minute, Sadie. Marthy wants you to help with the coffee and heat up some of the things." ”

“ It's too hard; but," pausing suddenly in her emotional exhibition, her face purpling, and her eyes again showing red, "I bet I'll get even with Celia. I'm a-goin' to give that girl a good hidin'."
"Now Sadie, Sadie," adjured Mrs. Thomas, "you can't hide a married woman. If there's any hidin' to be done, the husbands are a-goin' to do it theirselves. They ain't goin' to let no mother-in-law get in her whacks."
"Yes, and you've had your cry out now, and you can listen to sense," remarked Mrs. Evans decisively. "Here's your coffee. Take and drink it while it's hot. ”

“ Well, if Effie Evans had 'a' been there, I'll tell you now, Celia, what'd 'a' happened. She can't bear for nobody, man, woman, child, or devil, to get ahead of her; and she'd 'a' looked at that fiery furnace an' then give them Bible boys cards and spades about gettin' the hairs of their heads singed. She'd 'a' took in their asbestos coats and gone 'em one better. Effie Evans would have wore organdie trimmed with val lace."
"Mommie!" expostulated Celia, "I believe you're a-puttin' your money on Mis' Evans 'stead of on me." ”

“ Now listen; instead of having to give Celia a weddin' and stay at home and sew your fingers to the bone getting her ready, you've been jantin' 'round, fishin' and prospectin', with all the trouble taken off your hands, and no thanks to you that Celia's caught one of the best miners in the county and fixed herself for life."
Mrs. Nitschkan sniffed wrathfully, but drank her coffee.
"Yes," cooed Mrs. Thomas, "an' think what the Bon Amis'll say to two surprises in one evening. They'll say no one ever gave 'em so much for their money as Mrs. Nitschkan's done. ”

“ I thought I'd run 'em over an' try and get some light, so as I kin tell how to go ahead. How anyone kin get along without a pack of cards! It's sure a lamp to the feet, like what missioner told about last Sunday. ”