Nelson S. Bond

“ Congratulations, Sparks! I didn't know you had such depths of perspicacity."
"I haven't!" I told him indignantly. "But I still know a phony when I see one!"
"To continue," Thaxton smirked, "I made arrangements with the Cyclops, finest space cruiser of the Venusian navy, to intercept this ship at a point halfway between the two planets. Thus, you see—"
"Amazon?" said Biggs. "Wangpoo?"
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Biggs?" Thaxton appeared puzzled.
I said, "Don't mind him, Thaxton. He's our triple-fret man. You were saying—"
I was stalling desperately for time. ”

“ Lancelot Biggs was still muttering to himself. I was beginning to get worried about Biggs. He had a bad case of water on the brain, apparently.
He kept saying, "Nile? Red? Saar?"
Cap Hanson had finished his calls. Anyway, that's what he thought. Thaxton thought differently.
"If you don't mind, Captain," he reminded him. "Give the same message to the chief steward. We don't want any mess-boys or waiters interrupting our little tête-à-tête. Too many cooks, you know—" And he grinned.
"Ha!" growled the skipper. "Ha! I'd gladly laugh at your funeral, Thaxton." ”

“ Confucius say, "Wise guy who shoot off trap sometimes spring same for self." Rope was the one thing I wanted Thaxton to have the most of. For Q.E.D. reasons.
"Thus, you see," he continued pleasantly, "within the next hour or two, the Cyclops will keep its rendezvous in space with the Saturn. And at that time, gentlemen, it will be my great pleasure to seize this ship, interne its crew, and take over its cargo as contraband—No, Sparks! There's no use trying to reach that audio!" ”

“ Of course we can't use violence. In the first place, if we did, the Venusian authorities would know something was wrong, confiscate our ship and goods, ignoring our navicert, [2] interne us—"
"If we don't," I reminded him gloomily, "they'll do all them things anyway. And maybe give us two slaps on the wrist for good measure. With a crowbar."
"Knowledge!" said Biggs feverishly. "Knowledge is the answer to all problems. It's right on the tip of my mind, but I can't quite grasp it. Mississ—no! Thames? No!"
"Thames and tide," I punned, "wait for no man. Oh, go 'way, will you please? ”

“ You're running under a navicert, and that means you won't be inspected at Sun City. You'll be free to make a short hop to New California and leave the aft hold cargo with the assigned parties." And with that he signed off.
A moment later the door busted open and in came Cap Hanson, his face the color of an uncleaned pullet. He bawled,
"Sparks! Sparks, for gosh sakes' get in touch with Earth immediately, if not sooner! Find out what we're to do! That there Thaxton guy, he's a phony. A—"
"Park it, Cap," I said glumly, "and hear the rest. He's a spy. And he's also an esper." ”

“ They'll have to comb the entire ship looking for the contraband."
Thaxton sniffed. "Thanks to your stupid friend, the radioman," he said, "we know the contraband is stored in the aft section of the ship."
"But there are many bins in the aft section," Biggs pleaded. "I can spare you the trouble of searching them all. I'll tell you which ones to look in—if you'll grant me full pardon. I—I might even be willing to accept service in your army."
"The Venusian army uses traitors," said Thaxton pointedly, "but it does not employ them. However, I think your suggestion has merit. ”

“ Thank you very much, Lt. Biggs. And now, Captain—you were going to show me your storage holds, I believe? Didn't you say something about the aft holds?"
"Migawd, no!" said the skipper. "I mean—er—no. There's nothin' down there. We'll go visit the for'rd hold."
And they left. All of them, that is, but Lancelot Biggs. He made some excuse and stayed there in the control-turret with me. ”

“ And to the worst possible person. For unless I'm greatly mistaken, that Thaxton person is a spy!
"More than that, he's the cleverest sort of a spy. Because—he's an esper!" [1]
The minute he said it I knew he was right. A spy. And an Esper! Earth is lousy with 'em. Most of them are quacks. But a few—
I gasped, "But sweet shades of Io, Lanse! If he's an esper, he's sure to learn all about the cargo. From you or me or Cap or one of the crew—What in Sam Hill are we going to do about it?"
"Po?" said Lancelot Biggs. ”

“ Then Cap Hanson risked apoplexy with a roar that lifted furniture.
"What! What, sir, do you mean by issuing commands to me in my own spaceship? By what authority—"
The diminutive esper glanced meaningly at the pierce-gun in his right hand.
"This is my authority, Captain. It will suffice until you and your crew can be turned over to the soldiery of the Venusian government. And—
"Ah, Mr. Biggs! You're just in time to join our little party. No—if you please! Don't make it necessary for me to—er—take drastic measures. Be kind enough to raise your hands and walk across the room—so!" ”

“ Earth itself hadn't had a war for almost a hundred and twenty years—not since the North India uprising of '92. But the distribution of land and governmental control of the colonies was still what you might call "unfinished business." ”

“ That completely screwball, absolutely mad, incredible genius—Lancelot Biggs!
[1] In the world of Lancelot Biggs, an esper is a man who makes his living telling fortunes. This he is able to do through his ability to make use of extra-sensory perception, the psychological phenomenon discovered by Dr. J. B. Rhine of Duke University, and outlined in his book "New Frontiers of the Mind."—Ed.
[2] A navicert is a navigation and transport permit issued by foreign consular authorities for space travel. Here, the Venusian consulate on Earth certified the Saturn's passage.—Ed. ”