Ruby M. Ayres

“ There would be life there, at any rate––life and people and music––something to make a man forget the depression that sat like a ton weight on his shoulders.
He felt utterly at a loose end; he stalked moodily into the lounge. There were many people there, girls in pretty dinner frocks, with their attendant cavaliers. Micky glanced at none of them, till suddenly a girl who had been sitting on a couch listening rather listlessly to the conversation of a youth beside her, rose to her feet when she saw Micky, the hot colour flying to her cheeks. ”

“ She found herself in some gardens where an elderly man was feeding sparrows; she sat down on a bench and watched him.
It seemed years ago that she went down to Enmore with June––since she sat in the little inn with Micky and heard those two men talking.
The hot blood beat into her cheeks as she remembered something that for the moment she had forgotten––that Raymond Ashton was married!
The man gave the sparrows his last crumbs and went away. The little brown birds came hopping to Esther’s feet, looking up at her with bright, eager eyes, as if expecting her to supply a further meal. ”

“ The silence of the room was unbroken save for the little crisp sound as Micky turned the paper; then the letter fluttered to the rug at his feet and lay there, half-curled up, as if it were ashamed of the words it bore and wished to hide them.
Micky raised his eyes and looked at his reflection in the glass above the mantelshelf. The pallor of his face surprised him, and the look of passionate anger in his eyes.
He was a man of the world. ”

“ Esther said. There was a little flush in her cheeks; she was really enjoying herself. “It’s the dream of my life to have enough money to be able to do anything I like,” she added earnestly. “Just for a month! If I could be really rich just for one month I wouldn’t mind going back to being poor again.”
Miss Mason said “Rubbish!” briskly. “Money can’t buy happiness, my dear, and don’t you forget it. My people think it can, and lots of other people think the same. It only shows what fools they are. It was the money my people couldn’t get over when I declined to marry Micky Mellowes....” ”

“ He raised his hat and turned away, and June dived across the road, perilously near to a motor-omnibus, clutching her samples jealously to her heart.
“It’ll be all right now,” she told herself, with a sense of comfort. “Everything’s always all right as soon as Micky gets hold of it.”
A soliloquy which made it seem all the more curious that she should have hesitated to trust herself to him for life. Perhaps, as she had told Esther, she cared too much for him to take the risk for them both. He had told her candidly that he did not care for her as a man should care for the woman he marries. ”

“ Esther trudged to and fro from the agency where the stiff and stately lady presided so many times during the next few days that she began to hate the sight of the tall building and the dark stairs covered with worn linoleum.
Every day the waiting-room seemed crowded with girls, many of whom were a great deal more shabby and hopeless looking than she was, and they all sat patiently on the wooden chairs and eyed one another with a sort of jealous suspicion till their turn came to pass within the magic portal which guarded the stiff and stately lady from the vulgar gaze. ”

“ Esther asked deliberately.
Micky did not answer.
“Do you like him?” she persisted.
Micky’s restraint broke its bonds; if he had died for it he could not have checked the words that rushed to his lips.
“I detest the fellow!” he said. “He’s a beastly outsider!”
He dared not look at her. He held his breath, waiting for the storm to break, but if he had lost his self-control she kept hers admirably.
“Really,” she said. Her voice was a little breathless, but quite calm. “What does a man mean when he calls another man––such a name?” ”

“ She really did make a picturesque figure as she sat there with her mauve cushions all around her. Her yellow blouse and dark hair and wonderful rose-leaf skin reminded one of some brilliant portrait painted by a master-hand.
Esther would have been surprised could she have known the thought in June’s mind at that moment.
“She’s just sweet! I don’t know when I’ve seen a face I admire more. Micky would adore her! She’s just the sort of woman he always raves about. I must ask him to tea to meet her one day.” ”

“ Micky stood and watched till they could no longer be seen. He was chilled to the bone in spite of his warm coat; he turned the collar 229 up round his throat and thrust his hands deeply into his pockets.
His fingers came in contact with the telegrams he had written in the train and forgotten to send. He swore under his breath.
He kept out of the Delands’ way when they reached Calais; he was first off the boat; he stood in the darkness trembling with excitement.
There were all sorts of people pouring past him––men, women, and children. ”

“ June said promptly; she nestled down amongst her mauve cushions.
Micky was sitting straddle-ways across a chair between the two girls, and Esther had drawn back a little so that her face was in shadow. Micky glanced at her once, but could only see the glint of firelight on her hair and her hands clasped listlessly in the lap of her frock. He glanced at them; she still wore Ashton’s ring, with its three inferior stones; he wondered how long the farce was going to be kept up and what would happen to bring it to an end.
“If some one doesn’t talk,” June said drowsily, “I shall go to sleep.” ”

“ Oh, why didn’t you let me tell her?––I begged you to let me. It’s not my fault. I warned you what it would be––oh dear! oh dear!” and June fell into a sobbing heap on the uncomfortable horsehair couch behind her.
Micky stood clutching the paper and staring at her; it was some minutes before he could find his voice, then he went over to where she lay, put his hand on her shoulder, and shook her almost roughly.
“What are you talking about, June? For heaven’s sake sit up and behave like a rational woman. Who’s gone? What do you mean?” ”

“ June looked up from stroking Charlie.
“Now, I wish you hadn’t said that,” she said frankly. “No man can be really nice who doesn’t love his own mother.”
Esther looked distressed.
“But she’s horrid!” she said eagerly. “He has told me how horrid she is to him––really she is––and as he’s her only son–––” She stopped. “After all,” she went on, “there’s no law to make you like a woman just because you happen to be her son, is there?”
“It’s unnatural not to,” June answered shortly. “However, as neither of us know his mother, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. She may be a perfect old cat. ”

“ Marie’s dark eyes opened; like most women, she loved to hear of an engagement or marriage.
“Really?” she said. “At last!––not to––surely not to that little girl at Eldred’s?”
Micky flushed angrily. Did every one know about Esther? he asked himself savagely. He answered shortly that it was to Mrs. Clare, Tubby Clare’s little widow.
Marie looked amazed.
“But we all thought–––” she said, then stopped, remembering that Micky and Raymond had been great friends. “I hope he’ll be happy,” she said lamely.
Micky laughed shortly.
“I don’t,” he said. “He doesn’t deserve to be.” ”

“ She looked at him with a sort of fear.
“You don’t mean that,” she said, with a catch in her voice. “You don’t really mean that ... you’re just one of those men who say things like that to every woman you–––” She broke off, struck by the chagrin in Micky’s face. “No––I oughtn’t to have said that,” she went on hurriedly. “I beg your pardon ... I ought not to have said it, and I will tell you my name if you really want to know. My name is Esther––Esther Shepstone.”
“Thank you!” said Micky. “And now we’re going to drink to good resolutions for the New Year ... have you made one yet?” ”

“ Micky turned pale with anger.
“You’re deliberately trying to make out that I’m a bounder. It’s not fair––I don’t deserve it; and as to thinking anything good enough for you––I suppose you’d only take it as a fresh insult if I told you that there is nothing in the world I consider good enough for you.... I ... oh, what’s the good of arguing,” he broke out with sudden rage.
“It’s no good at all, and there’s nothing to argue about,” Esther said stiffly. She had taken off her gloves and was flattening them out nervously. ”

“ June Mason said when Esther came home after another fruitless journey. “They take your money and forget you till you turn up to remind them that you’re still in existence. Give it up, my dear, and come into partnership with me. I should love to take you round to all the big stores and tell them that you owe your milk and rose complexion to my famous cream.” She burst out laughing. “Can’t you imagine it! Esther, you and I ought to tour the country in a caravan or something. Call ourselves the new Sequah.” She rolled over in the big chair and hid her face in the cushions. ”

“ He can’t be anybody if he’s ashamed of you. You don’t like Micky, I know, but, with all his money and position, if he loved you he’d be only too proud to shout it from the housetops, and not care a hang what the world thought. There’s no rotten pride about Micky––if he loved a beggar girl he’d be proud of it.... No, don’t say any more, it makes me boil!”
She lit another cigarette and puffed at it furiously.
“Do you––do you think I should go with Mr. Harley, then?” Esther asked presently. Her pretty face was flushed and troubled.
“No, I don’t,” said June emphatically. ”

“ He had never written a love-letter in his life, but he knew positively that he was about to write one now.
He thought of Esther and the wistfulness of her grey eyes; she was the girl whom a man could love. He coloured a little as the thought involuntarily crossed his mind; she was a girl whom––he began to write rapidly.
“My darling little girl–––”
Micky was naturally rather eloquent with his pen, though he had never before tried it in this especial direction. ”

“ Esther got out of the car without waiting for him, and went on into the house.
After a moment Micky followed.
Esther was in the hall; she turned to him impatiently.
“Every one is out,” she said. “Miss Dearling and June are both out.”
There was a sort of strain in her voice which Micky could not understand. She looked as if she had had some bad shock, and yet what could have happened? He had not left her for more than a few minutes.
“Very well, I won’t wait,” he said formally. He spoke curtly; he felt sore enough; he raised his hat stiffly and turned away. ”

“ Esther had covered her face with her hands.
“I’m not crying,” she said in a stifled voice. “But I’m so ashamed. I don’t know what you must think of me––it’s so––so humiliating.”
“It’s nothing of the kind,” June declared. “The only mistake you’ve made is to put your money on the wrong man, if you’ll excuse the expression. Raymond Ashton was always an outsider.... There! I won’t say another word. You’ve come home, and that’s all that matters.”
It was only when they were safely up in the room with the mauve cushions that she flung her hat down on the sofa and drew a long breath. ”

“ Micky, when you saw him in Paris, didn’t he say anything, ask you anything? Oh, it all seems so extraordinary!”
“My dear girl, what could he ask me?” Micky objected gently. “I never discuss––Miss Shepstone with him, and he is not in the least likely to tell me his private affairs, and I’m sure I don’t want to know them.”
June was silent for a moment.
“Esther is laying up trouble for herself,” she said then. “Don’t you think she is?”
“I haven’t thought about it,” Micky maintained stolidly. “And if you take my advice, you won’t either. It never does to meddle with other people’s affairs.” ”

“ But June was obviously not the one concerned. It was not to June that he must confess.
The clock in his room struck twelve; too late to do anything to-night. The memory of Marie returned––Marie as she had looked when he found her in the drawing-room that night; as she had looked when he had left her in the little anteroom at the Hoopers’ and gone out with murder in his heart to find Ashton.
He stopped dead in his pacing.
“Oh, you cad––you cad!” he said with a groan.
Life was an intolerable, purposeless thing. He sat down at his desk and leaned his head in his hands. ”

“ He did not realise how long he sat there without speaking till Esther spoke to him again. There was a little anxious note in her voice.
“I’m afraid I’ve bored you horribly with all this. I know it’s no interest to you, but I felt that I must tell somebody.”
Micky roused himself with an effort.
“It’s of great interest to me,” he said. “And you mustn’t ever say a thing like that again. We’re going to be friends, and real friends are always interested in everything that concerns the other. I’m more glad than I can say that you’re happy. I only hope it’s going to last for ever.” ”

“ Ashton gave a savage little laugh.
“It’s all very fine for you to say that money isn’t everything––that’s only because you’ve got it, and are never likely to be without it. You don’t know what it feels like to be up to your eyes in debt and not knowing where to turn for a fiver. Bah! what’s the good of talking?” He let down the window with a run, turning his face to the keen night air.
They were nearing their destination, and there was still something he wanted to say to Micky which so far, he had been afraid to put into words. ”

“ Micky noticed that blush, too, as he turned the car with a fine sweep and came to a standstill.
Esther greeted him with a torrent of explanation.
“June couldn’t come, so she made me––she had to go out on business. She would make me come!”
“It’s very kind,” Micky said. “I’m later than I expected––the roads are bad down in this part of the world. Well, and how do you like Enmore?”
“It’s very quiet, but I like it for a change, and June’s aunt is ever so kind.”
“Yes, a dear old lady; I know her well. Did you tell her I was coming?” ”

“ Esther said. “He is nice––very!”
“It would be the dream of my life fulfilled if I could see June married to him,” the old lady went on. “June wants a firm hand. She is wonderfully high-spirited and clever, you know, but I always feel that she would be so much happier with some one to look after her, and he is just the man to take care of a woman.” ”