Rudyard Kipling

“ I answered.
"A thirsty job with the lime flyin' an' the heat strikin' off the shingle. What a lot of 'ard work one misses on leaf! It looks cooler below here," he said, and waved a hand.
We slid into Wapshare, which, where the jerry builder has left it alone, precisely resembles an illustration in a mediaeval missal. Skirting the shade of its grey flint walls, we found ourselves on a wharf above a doubtful-minded tidal river and a Poole schooner—she was called the Esther Grant—surrounded by barges of fireclay for the local potteries.
"All asleep," said Pyecroft, "like a West India port. ”

“ Bright and beautiful, an' bloomin' 'ard to live with—as usual."
We had swung over a steep, oak-crowned ridge, and overlooked a map-like stretch of marsh ruled with roads, ditches, and canals that ran off into the still noonday haze on either hand. At our feet lay Wapshare, that was once a port, and even now commanded a few dingy keels. Southerly, five or six miles across the levels, the sea whitened faintly on grey-blue shingle spaced with martello-towers. As the car halted for orders, the decent breathing of the Channel was broken by a far-away hiccough out of the heat haze. ”

“ One never knows what one'll pick up on inspection tours like ours."
"Why, she goes!" said Leggatt over his shoulder, as the barge drew after the car.
"Like a roseleaf on a stream," said Pyecroft at the tiller. "Jump in! Kindly increase speed to fifty-seven revolutions, an' the barge an' its lethal cargo will show you what she can do. Look 'ere, Mr. Llewellyn, you ain't with your wife now, an' your non-commercial language don't appeal. If you've anything on your mind, sing it in a low voice. We're runnin' trials. Sixty-seven revolutions, if you please, Mr. Leggatt." ”

“ The canal streaked past like blue tape, the inshore landmarks—coast-house and church-spire—opened, closed, and stepped aside on the low hills, and the cement works enlarged themselves as under a nearing lens. ”

“ Go back to the beach! Don't you move for an hour! We may 'ave to coax 'im!" he shouted. "Get back and wait! Let 'er go, Leggatt!"
We plunged down the shingle to the pebble-speckled turf at the back of the sheds. Leggatt doubled with mirth, steering most vilely. The crowd retired behind the ridge.
"Whew!" said Pyecroft, unbuttoning his jacket. "Another minute and that bridegroom in the four-point-seven hat would have made me almost a liar."
"Stop!" I said, as Leggatt leaned forward helpless on the tiller ”

“ Decapod petrol motor can haul a barge of x tons capacity down a straight canal at the rate of knots; but that the wash and consequent erosion of the banks is somewhat marked. The Welshman lay still. Pyecroft was at the tiller, the delighted Leggatt was stealing extra knots out of her. Our wash roared behind us—a foot high from bank to bank. I sat in the bows crying "Port!" or "Starboard!" as guileless fancy led, and rejoiced in this my one life.
The cement works grew small behind us—small and very still. ”

“ Pyecroft bit back a weighty reproof.
"Wind her up, Mr. Leggatt," he said, "and ram 'er at the first lowest place in the ridge. You men fall in an' push behind if she checks."
"What's that for? You ain't never—"
"We're goin' to shift 'im. All you've got to do is to 'elp the car over the ridge an' then take cover. You talk too much." He swung out of the car, and Leggatt mounted. The churn of the machinery drowned Mr. Voss's protests, but as the car drew away along the sands westerly, followed by the men, he said to Pyecroft : ' But—but suppose you annoy him? He may blow up the works. ”

“ I felt I need not apologise to Leggatt, for, after all, it was my own car that I had brought up with so round a turn. The barge seemed well at rest.
"They'll 'ave to dig 'er out—unless they care to blow 'er up," said Pyecroft, climbing into the seat. "But all the same, that Man of 'Arlech 'as the feelin's of a sailor. Meet 'er! Meet 'er as she scends! You'll roll the sticks out of her if you don't!" he shouted in farewell.
We left Mr. Llewellyn clawing off a verdant lee shore, and this the more readily because Captain Dudeney and three friends were running towards us. ”

“ I saw Leggatt's shoulders shake. Pyecroft wrapped himself up in his virtue.
"I have not yet been officially informed there's anything to report," he answered ponderously. "The man's present and correct. You've searched 'im?"
"That I assure you I 'ave," said the policeman.
"Then there's no evidence he ain't drinkin' for a cure—or a bet. I don't believe in seein' too much; an' speakin' as one man to another, from the soles o' my feet upwards I pity the beggar!"
The policeman expanded like one blue lotus of the Nile.
"Yes," he said. "You've seen the miserablest man in Wapshare. ”

“ He edged towards the car on the top of the ridge, Mr. Voss clinging to his manly hand.
"But, suppose—" said Mr. Voss. "The risks are frightful."
"They are. You know 'ow it is with the horrors. If he catches sight o' one o' your men, 'e's as like as not to touch off all the fireworks, under the impression that 'e's bein' bombarded. Keep 'em down on the beach well under cover while we try to coax 'im. You know 'ow it is with the horrors."
"No, I don't," said Mr. Voss with a sudden fury. "Confound it all, I'm going to be married to-day!"
"I'd postpone it if I was you," Pyecroft returned. ”

“ Pyecroft admitted. "Let's hope it's Mr. Voss's canal. That bakin' bridegroom owes us a lot. A little more, Mr. Hinchcliff—or Leggatt, I should say. We're creepin' up to twelve."
"People—comin' from Wapshare—four of 'em!" cried Leggatt who from the high car-seat could see along the road.
Pyecroft passed me the tiller as he unslung the binoculars to look. None but Pyecrofts should steer barges at P. and O. speeds. In that brief second, just as he said "Captain Dudeney!" the barge's nose ran with ferocity feet deep into the mud ”

“ I said, as we ran between the sheds to the basin.
"The machinery cost thirty thousand pounds, 'e says. 'E's sweatin' blood to that amount every minute. He ain't thinkin' of his bride."
An empty whisky-bottle broke like a shell before our wheels. We had come between the sheds within effective range of the man on the barge.
"Good hand at description, Captain Dudeney is," said Pyecroft critically, never moving a muscle. "Fig-nose—saucer-ear, freckle-jaw—all present an' correct. What a cousin! Perishin' 'Eavens Above! What a cousin! Good afternoon, Mr. Llewellyn! ”

“ What's in the barge? Shells?" he said, turning to the half-petrified policeman.
"No. No ammunition comes here, sir. It's only the Admiralty dynamite for the works down the coast. Sixteen tons with fuses—waitin' for the Government tug to tow 'em round when the tide makes. He isn't the regular crew. He's one of the watchmen. He's relieved at four."
"But where's his red flags?" said Pyecroft suddenly. "A powder-barge ought to 'ave two." ”

“ Hinchcliff, or the engine-room staff, would be where poor Tom Bowling's body was, an' one man's orders down the speakin'-tube is very like another's. Besides, think o' the taxpayer's feelin's. What 'ud you say to me if I came flyin' back to the beach signallin' for a commissioned officer to continue the battle—there bein' two warrants an' one carpenter still survivin'? ”

“ Pyecroft was on his knees tying expert knots round the rear-axle. I had never seen motor-cars applied to canal traffic before, and so stood deaf to Leggatt's highly technical appeals.
"Go ahead slow and take care the tow don't foul the port tyre. A towin' piece an' bollards is what we really need. ”

“ I remember a Welsh fire-man in the Sycophant 'oo got drunk on Boaz Island, an' the only way we could coax 'im off the reef, where numerous sharks were anticipatin' 'im, was by urgin' 'im to fight the captain. ”

“ He's only the watchman."
"He's taken two large laps out o' that bucket beside 'im since I've had 'im under observation. It is now," he unshackled a huge watch, "eleven twenty-seven. The prima facie evidence is that 'e got that grievous mouth last night about two a.m. ”