Ruth Plumly Thompson

“ He felt guilty every time he looked at the jolly, companionable clown. The more he thought about the Patchwork Girl's suggestion, the more ashamed of himself he felt. Why it was perfectly unish, this idea of devouring a brave man. No wonder he had grown a larger bunch of feathers than Notta and Bob! If there was no other way to acquire courage, he would stay a coward forever and that was the end of that! No sooner had the Cowardly Lion reached this conclusion, than he, too, felt light-hearted and happy again and began to roar with appreciation at Notta's funny antics and jokes. ”

“ As Bob continued to regard him with disfavor, he explained hurriedly, "You see we're going to this Emerald City, Bob Up, where every other person is more or less magic. Now, what attention would they pay to a silly clown? Why, they might not even listen to me. But if I pretend to be a powerful witch, Princess Ozma and the Wizard of Oz, whom we've been hearing so much about, will hasten to do what I say."
"You'll frighten them," said Bob stubbornly, but Notta shook his head.
"People in fairy cities aren't frightened as easily as little boys," he chuckled knowingly. ”

“ It was the bird's beak that had made Notta laugh in the first place. It was long and blue, and curved so that it could fit over the comical creature's ear like a personal telephone connection.
"But why does it curl?" asked Notta, sitting down and staring at the bird intently.
"So I can hear myself snore," replied the bird. "As soon as I snore in my own ear I wake up and stop snoring." With its claw the Snorer adjusted its beak, much as one would adjust a pair of spectacles, and looked blandly at Notta. "I'm unusual—don't you think?"
"Unusual," whistled the Clown. "I'll say you are! ”

“ For tears are more magic than anything else, when it comes to melting stone, and every spot where Dorothy's tears fell was beginning to quiver with life. When Notta ran to the palace with the news, the excitement was tremendous. Everyone, from Ozma down to the littlest kitchen maid, came to weep over the Cowardly Lion, and bring him back to life. The Tin Woodman cried a perfect torrent of tears and quite rusted his chain. The Scarecrow and Scraps had not a tear in their cotton constitutions, but Snorer made up for this by crying enough for three. ”

“ A shout from Snorer made him pause. Notta was bumping along on the end of the rope like a big bag of clothes.
"You've killed him," wailed Nick angrily. But just then, with a watery sigh, the clown opened his eyes. Immediately he began fumbling in his chest pocket. "What are you trying to do?" screamed Snorer.
"My disguise," choked the clown. "I must put on my disguise—first disguise, then joke and run, you know!"
"You don't need any disguise," wailed the Cowardly Lion remorsefully. "You look like almost anyone." ”

“ The doorman whisked a little book from his pocket and, after flipping over a number of pages, read in a high nasal voice, "Any one caught stealing the Queen's door jam shall have his knob twisted and every door in the kingdom slammed on him besides."
"How fearfully unhealthy," muttered Notta, rising to protest his innocence. But the Queen waved him back, and banging her keys on the arm of her throne called loudly, "Slammer, carry out the sentence!"
Slammer immediately blew a sharp whistle and every doorman in the room sprang toward the trembling Notta.
"Stop!" cried Bob, doubling up his fists. ”

“ Are you the Cowardly Lion?" he demanded, pointing his scimitar at poor Notta. The clown roared dismally, to prove he was no coward. How was he to know that in the land of Oz all animals can and are expected to talk? Why, he did not even know he was in Oz, and in the hands of the Mudgers.
"He refuses to answer," said Mustafa gloomily. "Well, a dumb lion is better than no lion at all. Take him away, Panny, and lock him up with the other lions. I hope he's a good fighter. Let me see, that makes ten thousand for you to feed, Tazzywaller, if the others don't chew this one up." ”

“ It was Sir Hokus of Pokes, falling down like a ton of kitchen tins beside the monarch of Mudge. And before the lions had stopped blinking at that, down rattled the Tin Woodman and Tik Tok, Glinda and the little Wizard of Oz, followed by Dorothy, Snorer and Bob and last of all, Ozma, the Scarecrow and Notta Bit More.
"Help!" screeched the Guards running in every direction.
"It's raining royalty!" shrilled Tazzywaller, who had sneaked out to witness the fight. "Fly for your life!" The fat little lion feeder tugged at Mustafa's robe, for he had at once recognized Princess Dorothy and Ozma of Oz. ”

“ Mustafa stared solemnly into the clown's face. "Why are you so white? And why is his hair,"—Mustafa jerked his thumb at Bob—"so red?"
"For the same reason that your Majesty's whiskers are blue," replied Notta promptly. Mustafa did not quite like this answer.
"Your business?" he inquired next. "I suppose you deny being a wizard?"
"Oh, absolutely!" said Notta. "But my business, if your Majesty insists, is fun. I make people laugh and thus prolong their lives."
"A funny business," sniffed Mustafa, with a puzzled look at Tazzywaller. ”

“ When I look like myself I feel funny and when I feel funny, I can't fight."
"Well, with me," said the Cowardly Lion, who like most of us enjoyed talking about himself, "the funnier I look, the harder I fight. So don't frighten me, I beg of you, for when I'm frightened I fight terrifically."
"I'll remember what you say," said Notta, turning a somersault, and wondering uneasily what the Cowardly Lion would do when he tried to capture him. ”

“ The Cowardly Lion was familiar with all the forests in Oz, and though the one through which he was passing was so dense that, even in the morning, only a dim light filtered through the trees, he had no difficulty finding his way. In the center of this forest lived a small colony of woodcutters, and the Cowardly Lion was heading straight for this colony, roaring and growling to keep up his courage. The more he thought about devouring a brave man, the faster he ran. ”

“ An isle is a small body of land entirely surrounded by water," cried Bob, delighted to find that geography was of some use after all.
"Well," said the Featherhead uneasily, "then I guess you'll understand when I tell you that a skyle is a small body of land entirely surrounded by air."
"Air!" spluttered Notta. "I say, how does one get off a skyle?"
"You'll soon find that out!" muttered the Featherhead, and all the others began nodding and clucking for all the world like a company of hens.
"What do you call yourselves?" asked the Cowardly Lion. ”

“ He waved scornfully at the poor clown.
"A wizard, your Highness!" hissed Panapee. "A wizard, that's what he is."
"Now don't call me names," begged Notta, extending the front paws of his disguise. "I'm Notta."
"Not a wizard, I suppose," said Tazzywaller scornfully.
"Why don't you ask him how he got here?" sighed Mixtuppa, reasonably enough. Notta stared curiously at the large head of Mixtuppa, wagging through the blue curtain. Perhaps here was someone who would understand politeness. ”

“ Sir Hokus of Pokes restrained the reckless girl, and Ozma, tapping on the arm of her throne for order, begged Notta to explain his presence in the Emerald City and his reason for coming as a witch.
"We are sorry to have treated you so rudely," said Ozma gravely, "but we must blame your costume for that."
"Certainly," said Scraps, shaking her cotton finger at Notta. "If you come as a witch you must expect to be treated every witch way." Notta looked rather embarrassed as he explained his rules of disguise, politeness, joke and run.
"I always seem to choose the wrong disguise," sighed the clown. ”

“ Now, while Panapee goes for his book, I must tell you that Mudge is a blue and barbarous country in the southwestern part of the Munchkin country of Oz. It is a hot, dry, desert land and the Mudgers themselves are a short-tempered, long-legged tribe of troublemakers. They live in blue, striped tents and, if it were not for their bright blue whiskers, you would take them for Arabs, as they wear sweeping white robes and turbans to protect themselves from the heat and desert sands. ”

“ The Cowardly Lion was so pleased that he jumped for joy, and started to run and look in the woodcutter's mirror, upsetting Notta as usual.
"It's because you're no longer unish," explained Snorer wisely, as Notta scrambled to his feet and hastened to accompany the lion to the mirror. "When you both stopped planning unwise and unfair things the feathers just naturally dropped out, and Bob's followed suit, for there isn't an unish bone in that boy's body," continued Snorer, rolling his eyes knowingly. "And now that we've all decided to stick together everything will be as happy as possible." ”

“ In a jar, barring breaks, you will last for years, and needing neither food nor drink will find it quite unnecessary to work. So you see, we put ourselves up here for the same reason most housewives preserve their fruit—to keep from working."
"Put yourselves up to keep from working," gasped Notta. "But I love my work!"
"Then you are very different from most people," observed the Squawmos, looking at the Cowardly Lion with great interest. "But, never mind, you will soon be a perfect Preserve. And this lion—he will look perfectly handsome in a jar. ”

“ So it was small wonder Notta and Bob forgot the Uns, and even their fishing lines, blowing gently to and fro in the soft pink air waves. Then, all at once, Bob's line gave a jerk and had he not been tied to the tree he would certainly have been pulled off the skyle.
"Oh! Oh!" screamed the little boy in delight, "I've caught something!"
Giving his rod to the Cowardly Lion, who was blinking dreamily at a wonderful cloud city, the clown ran to help Bob, and hand over hand they pulled up the line. What do you suppose was on it? A goose—a simply enormous goose. ”

“ Shall we fly or follow?"
"Let's follow," rumbled the Cowardly Lion. "We can fly any time, and I'd like to see all the Preserves while I'm about it, for I think Dorothy will enjoy hearing about them."
Notta ran the Flyaboutabus slowly and carefully down the glass street after the solemn jar-men, the rest of the population following at a safe distance. Bob's eyes grew larger and larger and when a preserved dog ran briskly in front of the bus he gave a shout of glee.
"I think Oz is the funniest place in the world, don't you, Nick?" cried the little boy merrily. ”

“ Notta winked merrily at the little orphan, and then peered curiously through the holes in the net. "This reminds me of a balloon trip I once made for the circus. Wonder where we'll land?"
"Are we to land at all?" sighed the Cowardly Lion unhappily. Two of his legs had slipped through holes in the net and he was feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. "Climb on me, Bob, my boy. It will be a little softer. When you've been in Oz as long as I have, you'll take nothing for granted." He looked mournfully at the clown who was that moment below him. ”

“ Calling Panapee, and running so fast he lost both of his sandals, Mustafa rushed out to the lion enclosure and with trembling hands unlocked the gates. Fortunately the nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine lions were in another part, and when he waved for Crunch and the Cowardly Lion to enter, they did so without disturbing Mustafa's ferocious pets. The Cowardly Lion wobbled slightly, for he was still shaken by his terrible journey, but the Stone Man tramped defiantly toward the blue whiskered monarch of Mudge. ”

“ It was early morning in the Emerald City, and Ozma and her court had not yet risen, but many of the palace pets were abroad and talking sociably together in the garden. Ozma's Saw Horse was running races with Hank, Betsy Bobbin's small mule, the Comfortable Camel and Doubtful Dromedary were ambling down the paths in their wobbly-kneed fashion, while Dorothy's little dog, Toto, and the Glass Cat were arguing over the Patchwork Girl's last verses. They all seemed happy and contented and the Cowardly Lion, noting this, sighed heavily. "Not one of them is ever afraid," he murmured sorrowfully. ”

“ After a hearty breakfast, Nick came flapping back and was so startled by the clown's disguise that his nose fell off the hook with a crash. But Notta soon reassured him and, as Bob was tingling with impatience to show them the boat, they finished the berries in great haste.
"This is the friendliest forest I ever was in," repeated the clown, viewing Bob's discovery with delight. "This will take us out faster than we could walk and it's much safer than the Flyaboutabus. Now then, all aboard for the Emerald City!" ”

“ The Prime Preserve saw him and made indistinct gurgles of protest under his lid, but before he could warn the Cookywitch or the Prime Preserva, Notta had pressed the button, and the Flyaboutabus, with a jerk that sent hundreds of the jar-men crashing to the glass pavement and knocked Squawmos head over heels, rose into the air. Snorer made a flying leap and caught it on the wing, so to speak, and in a flash they were hurtling toward the sky. ”

“ Go to Mudge!
Udger budger,
You're a Mudger!"
A roar of delight went up from the crowd, and a roar of terror from the ringmaster, for the orphan had disappeared—disappeared as completely as a punctured balloon!
"Help!" screamed the clown, dancing frantically up and down on the elephant's head. The audience was enchanted and rocking to and fro with merriment.
"That's the best trick I've ever seen," gurgled a fat man, mopping his face. "Look at him pretending to be frightened. Come on now, bring him back, you!"
The clown cried out another verse:
"Udge! ”

“ He was followed by a small Mudger servant, with three white packets upon his head.
"Here," said Mustafa, with a wave at the packets, "are provisions for three days. Travel straight north until you reach a yellow brick road and follow that road till you come to the Emerald City. There you will find the Cowardly Lion."
"But, see here," began Notta, who had been doing some quick thinking, "why does not your Majesty transport this lion to Mudge by the magic verse?"
"For a wizard," sniffed Mustafa, "you are astonishingly stupid. That verse only transports people, and one must touch the person." ”

“ Afternoons they fish and evenings they fight. Wish, fish and fight—that's the program here."
"But how do they get anything done?" asked Notta, standing on his head to settle his feathers.
"They don't," replied Snorer calmly. "Everything is undone; and about your feathers," he pointed his claw at the Cowardly Lion's mane, "every time anything unish happens to you you'll grow another. First you were unwise to come here. That accounts for one; then you were uncomfortable and unsafe."
"Unlucky, unhappy and unfed!" spluttered the clown, turning a somersault with each word. ”

“ So, as quickly as he could, and without stopping to describe Doorways or Un, the clown told his story.
"Ah," sighed Glinda, as he finished, "that explains the entry in the Magic Record Book. Hurry up, my friends. Some of us must go instantly to Mudge."
"What did the records say?" asked Dorothy, and all the celebrities looked frightened and anxious, for the Cowardly Lion was a great favorite. The Magic Record Book is one of the treasures of Oz. It tells, just as they happen, all the events in that marvelous country and in every other country. ”