Ruth Plumly Thompson

“ Do you suppose I'd be here as a cook if I had my magic powers, you ridiculous old bird!" Snip could see Pajuka's eyes grow round as buttons at this dismal news.
"What?" wailed the unhappy goose. "Must I continue forever to lead this simple life? Must I associate with ducks and farmers to the end of my days?"
"You ought to be glad you're alive at all," mumbled Mombi uncomfortably. These words had a startling effect on Pajuka.
"Ah!" groaned the goose remorsefully. "Here I've been thinking of myself when it is the King who matters." ”

“ At each dreadful question, her Maltese Majesty drew nearer to Pajuka. Snip looked appealingly at Mombi, but the old witch had forgotten them both and was seated blissfully under the catsup tree, her lap full of kittens.
"As a man I was in my prime, but I'm a very old goose," panted Pajuka, edging nervously away from the greedy Queen.
"I don't believe it," said her Majesty, giving Pajuka a playful poke. "What fun! A guest! A prisoner and a dinner! The witch shall stay, the boy shall be publicly chased and scratched and the goose, ah the goose shall be eaten! ”

“ The thing for us to do is to find the King. Once we've come to the little wood where you transformed him you'll remember where he is. Why, maybe we'll find him before then."
"Yes, but what good will it do if I don't remember my magic," sniffed Mombi. "Unless you want to be a goose for the rest of your life, you'd better make up your mind to do what I say. As for you," the old witch whirled angrily upon Snip, "any more of this supposing and I'll turn you to a six pence and spend you at the first village." ”

“ Humpy, Pajuka, Snip and the tailor were simply stunned by the magnificence of the capital, but to Dorothy, Mombi and Kabumpo, the Emerald City was an old story. Accustomed to its beauty and familiar with its grandeur, they scarcely gave it a second glance. Many of the town's people, recognizing Dorothy, waved cheerfully as they passed and all too soon for Snip, who could have ridden up and down its enchanted streets all day, the Elegant Elephant charged into the royal park and approached the Palace of Emeralds itself. ”

“ To think that all of this belongs to you!" Pajuka stretched his neck exultantly. "I wonder if there's a pipe anywhere in the castle?" he puffed suddenly.
"You shall have twenty pipes, my good goose!" promised the dummy. "Everybody shall have a pipe!"
Dorothy and Snip giggled a little at this. Then, as Kabumpo stepped upon the broad portico, Pajuka, remembering Mombi's past threats, began to scream hoarsely, "The witch—don't let her go, don't let her go, whatever you do! She'll steal Ozma's magic and destroy us all. ”

“ Mombi looked pleadingly at Dorothy and Snip, but the little boy and girl felt now that any punishment was too good for the old witch.
"Give me time," muttered Mombi, casting uneasy glances from one to the other. "The formula should have restored the King, but something went wrong. I must have more time."
"Here, take it." Stumbling across the room, Humpy pressed a dollar watch into the old witch's hands. "Here's all the time in the world," said the dummy dolefully, "but don't ask me to be King again. Let Kabumpo sit on the throne and see how he likes it." ”

“ I do wonder what you are stuffed with!"
"Hair, I think," yawned the dummy indifferently, and leaning over he picked up his crown and set it jauntily upon the side of his head. "I wouldn't go back to that Oz place if I were you," he advised earnestly. "Stay here and you can see a moving picture every day—exciting and adventurous stuff too."
"But what's the fun of looking at other folks having adventures," sniffed Dorothy. "In Oz we have adventures ourselves, and in Oz I'm a Princess and live in a castle." ”

“ But nothing at all happened after the Wizard's incantation and Sir Hokus stepped down from the throne with real relief.
"Odds buckles and bonnets, my dear, I would like to be your father but not your King," sighed the Knight. "I prefer fighting to governing any day."
The Wizard cast his eye about for another candidate of proper size and shape to fit the robe, but no one in the room seemed to qualify.
"You're wasting time," grunted Kabumpo irritably. "This person," he waved loftily at the old tailor, "this person had better have kept out of it. What does a tailor know of magic?" ”

“ It was set in the very center of a thick button wood in the Gilliken country, and had more chimneys and windows than any dozen castles I can think of.
The castle owed much of its coziness to Rosa Merry, the quaint little Queen of Kimbaloo, who kept it spick and spandy and simply blooming with flowers. This she could easily do, for in the castle garden grew a simply enormous bouquet bush, where old and new fashioned bouquets blossomed in bewildering profusion. ”

“ Now Snip's suit, like all the suits of the button wood boys, was generously trimmed with buttons. He had always considered it quite handsome, but now, as the trees continued to rock and roar with merriment, he began to feel uncomfortable and a little provoked.
"Quit your laughing!" puffed Pajuka indignantly. "What right have trees to laugh at people?"
"Every right in Oz," chuckled the second tree, leaning down to tickle Mombi under the chin with one of its twigs. "We're laughing willows, we are, always looking for a good joke, Hah! Hah! And the laugh is on us, Ho! Ho! ”

“ Do you know, you are dreadfully humpy in spots. Humpy! Why I believe I'll call you Humpy!" cried Dorothy, clapping her hands softly.
"Oooh! Ouch! What's that?" In sudden terror Dorothy clutched at her left shoe.
"I don't care what you call me, but I'd call you very odd!" said the dummy in alarm. "You've grown at least a foot while I've been looking at you. People in this country are supposed to stay the same size," he muttered, edging away uneasily. But Dorothy scarcely heard him. There was a frightful pain in her heart and both shoes pinched so terribly that she screamed aloud. ”

“ The tailor squinted doubtfully up at the sun and, after a few more useless guesses, they determined to take a chance and started diagonally across the field.
"I wonder what shape Mombi did turn the King into," muttered Snip, as they hurried along through the wheat. "And I wonder whether Ozma can change Pajuka back to his own self again. He's so tired of being a goose!"
"It must be pretty tiresome," observed Tora, pushing his specs up on his forehead, "though no worse than tailoring from morning till night for a city full of invisible and ungrateful rascals. ”

“ I'm glad the King of Oz is alive, but I'm not going to have Ozma turned to a piano. Oh dear! Oh dear! Why doesn't Kabumpo hurry back?"
"Hadn't we better start anyway?" asked Snip, who was growing more and more worried about Pajuka. He felt sure Mombi meant to get rid of the goose as soon as she found the King. "Let's go without the elephant," he proposed eagerly.
"No, we'd better wait," advised Dorothy, "for Kabumpo can travel a hundred times faster than we can, and a hundred times faster than Mombi can." ”

“ I resign! I abdicate. Let me be the bell boy, or the furnace man. Why even in the movies I have never been treated like this. It's a crime. It's an outrage!" coughed Humpy, struggling to a sitting position and trying to pry his crown upward.
"Now Humpy," began Dorothy reprovingly, "you're talking like a dummy instead of a King. Just wait—"
"I am a dummy," insisted the poor fellow, feeling of himself to make sure. "Has that old wretch changed me one hair's breadth by her villainous magic? Oh, to think I should have sunk so low!"
"She's a fraud," hissed Pajuka, who had also picked himself up. ”

“ Dorothy was too worried over the strange silence in the castle to bother with Kabumpo's saucy speeches, but the dummy, falling headlong from the Elegant Elephant's back, put his arm affectionately through Tora's.
Humpy waved Kabumpo aside and pulled the old tailor to a seat beside him. Tora shoved his spectacles up on his forehead and looked gravely at the pompous dummy.
"Let him stay by all means," said Humpy condescendingly. "Every King must have his tailor and he's mine. ”

“ Hundreds of the creatures had gathered by this time and, as Snip sank down on a bench to rest, the very tallest Hooper came rolling toward them.
"What do you mean by beating my subjects in this heartless fashion?" demanded the great fellow, unrolling to his full height and glaring sternly down at the little button boy.
"Well, they started it," replied Snip, keeping a firm hold on Mombi's stick. "Didn't they, Pajuka?"
"They certainly did," asserted the goose, settling down on the bench beside Snip. "Is it usual to knock down innocent travelers without reason or ceremony?" ”

“ Only a week ago I had a letter from a sixteenth cousin of mine in the Emerald City telling of a famous invisible cook who lived near her. Why not send for this invisible cook, your Highness?"
"That's what we've got now, isn't it?" put in General Whiffenpuff, gloomily, but Kinda's eyes began to snap at the Town Laugher's suggestion.
"Why an invisible cook would be simply out of sight!" cried the King, motioning for the Town Crier to cease his lamentations. "Let us send for her at once!"
"And meanwhile I'll be cook," smiled Rosa Merry, happy that everything was turning out so well. ”

“ You say that this witch, Mombi, transformed and hid her father and now proposes to find and restore him to the throne? And the goose? Whom did you say he was?"
"Pajuka is the Prime Minister," puffed Snip hastily. "He's been trying for years and years to find the King himself. If someone doesn't help him soon, and get him away from Mombi, he'll be roasted or eaten or lost!"
Snip opened his hand, where still clutched in his moist grasp were the feathers he had pulled from Pajuka's wing as he fell down the well. The tailor leaned forward to examine them. ”

“ Hold on to Mombi!"
Kabumpo had been on the point of dropping the old woman so he could pull the jewelled bell rope, but at Pajuka's warning he tightened his grip.
"Pray alight, Dorothy, and announce his Majesty!" puffed the Elegant Elephant, forgetting that not more than an hour ago he had called the King a piece of a night shirt. Dorothy and Snip slid down together and, both seizing the rope, set it to jingling merrily.
"Won't they be surprised," murmured Dorothy, looking over her shoulder at Kabumpo and his strange passengers. "Won't they be surprised when they see who is here? ”

“ Do you expect me to associate with a tailor?"
"But gaze upon his ears," cried Humpy, waving his cloak triumphantly at Tora. "They wag, wiggle and fly off by themselves. And we're hunting a king, a witch and a goose. Hurry up, you elegant old thing, we need you in this picture."
"No we don't, we'll go on by ourselves." Snip looked angrily at Kabumpo and, taking Tora's arm, began to walk off.
"Oh wait!" gasped Dorothy, more embarrassed by Kabumpo's rudeness than by the dummy's ridiculousness. "Kabumpo doesn't mean that. He's really awfully jolly when you get to know him better." ”

“ The two had been thrown unceremoniously into a small summer house at the end of the Queen's garden. It was surrounded by cat guards, so their chances for escape were cut off on every side.
"Maybe something'll happen," sighed Snip, pressing his nose against the slats. It had been late afternoon when they reached Catty Corners and in the gathering gloom the giant cats, parading up and down, looked like some dreadful sort of goblins. Turning back to Pajuka for comfort, Snip was horrified to see that the goose had drawn up one foot and closed his eyes. ”

“ Mombi, suspended precariously in Kabumpo's trunk, smiled darkly to herself, for Mombi, as usual, had a plan to outwit her enemies. She could not remember changing the King to a dummy at all, and had at first doubted that Humpy really was the King, but when she had read upon his collar the forgotten green magic formula, even Mombi was convinced. All that was now necessary to dispel the enchantment was to reach the Emerald City. ”

“ Snip's ears were buzzing from the shaking and he looked gratefully at Pajuka.
"Do you think I'm going to let him carry his tales to Kinda Jolly? No sir! Into the soup kettle with him," puffed Mombi, rushing Snip toward the stove. But at her first step, the white goose flung himself at her head with such an outcry that she stopped at once.
"Let the boy alone," panted Pajuka. Then, seeing that it was useless to appeal to Mombi's goodness he began to appeal to her badness. "The King will reward you generously, if you restore him to the throne," began Pajuka craftily. ”

“ That was the best that Hah Hoh could think of, but they all laughed so loud that seven little button boys stuck their heads in the window to see what all the fun was about.
"Well, do you give it up?" asked Kinda, after Rosa had made seven more merry guesses.
"Yes," said the Queen, shaking her head till the curls flew out in every direction. "What is it?"
"A goose!" puffed Kinda Jolly, settling back comfortably on his throne. "The finest, fattest goose you ever saw in your life. Cost me a thousand gold buttons," he finished, smacking his lips and winking at General Whiffenpuff. ”

“ They were staring ahead in great astonishment, for the last zig in the road had brought them quite suddenly to the edges of a sparkling inland sea.
"Water!" exulted the goose, instantly restored to good humor. "Oh, let's go swimming!"
"Swimming!" shuddered Mombi, whirling around in a hurry. "Don't you know water is death and destruction to witches?"
"Is it?" asked Snip in pleased surprise, and secretly wondered whether he hadn't better push Mombi in at once. But Pajuka, half guessing what was in his mind, shook his head reprovingly.
"But how are we to get across?" demanded the goose. ”