S. Weir Mitchell

“ MRS. GRABEM AND FUZ-BUZ.
MRS. GRABEM was a hairy spider who knit cobwebs and caught flies and brought up a small household of nine young spiders.
When I first knew this happy family, and learned all the wonderful things they heard and did, their home was as pretty a place as a spider need want. Their web was spun to and fro across the crotch of an old apple tree, and when they looked down they could see the green grass, and when they looked up they could see the great jolly red apples which must have looked to those young spiders just as the stars look to our own young folks. ”

“ Then all the young spiders listened, and the old mother spider began.
"One night the King Almanzor was walking alone when he overheard three water-carriers gossiping.
"'I would not be the King,' said Amric, the first who spoke. 'Every morning before prayers I peep through a crack in the wall of the Palace garden, and always I see the King grave and sober, just when the sun is rising red and the birds are laughing and telling their dreams. I would not be a King, to look sober at dawn every day in the year. A grave man is the King.'
"'Bosh!' said the second, whose name was Hassan. ”

“ Grabem, "you will do us a great deal of good very soon. You are a queer-looking fly any how. I hope you won't disagree with my children. Where do you live?"
"In Spain," replied Fuz-buz proudly. "I am a Spanish fly."
"Dear me," cried one of the spiders, "perhaps you can tell us some stories."
"I know a thousand fairy tales," said Fuz-buz.
"Oh mamma!" said one fat little spider, "It would be a shame to eat a thousand stories all at once. Let us keep him until he tells us nine hundred and ninety-nine tales, and then we can eat him afterwards." ”

“ There were two ships on the sea, and Prince Clever with a hundred men. Very soon they came up the hill and began to push the egg and to heave it over with crow-bars and beams of wood, until it rolled to the edge of the sand heap. Then to Prince Sturdy's horror the egg began to turn over and over down the hill to the sea. ”

“ He who lengthens the life of this world makes shorter the life of the world to come. Beware!'
[Pg 43]
"'Fool!' said the King, 'thou art ten years younger than I. Let it be as I have said.'
"Soon after this the mermaid said to Ali, 'It is time Prince that you left us. The King desires a cup of the fountain of youth, and to him who brings it he will give the Princess. Therefore have no fear, but take thy sword and this crystal flask, and passing through yonder gateway journey on until you reach a deep valley, at the bottom of which you will find the fountain. ”

“ And no one shall kiss me, and no one ever shall have a lock of my hair, and where on earth will any one get a Roc's egg? and so how shall I ever be married? No, I never will marry anybody.'
"At this her Father was in despair, but as he thought that perhaps some one might be bright enough to outwit the Princess, he caused it to be proclaimed everywhere that the Lady Golden Hair would marry the man who had kissed her, and who could show a lock of hair just like hers, and who owned a Roc's egg. ”

“ After eating a great many folks they came to a beautiful country where lived a King who had a daughter as good as she was pretty.
"When the two giants reached the borders of this land they sat down and began to talk.
"'I am getting so big,' said Krusstikuss, 'that I find it a labour to walk about and look for babies. They must be very scarce.'
"'Not more so than young ladies,' cried Growlegrum. ”

“ On this last evening he overheard the spiders talking as he lay tied by the leg in a deep dark crack of the apple tree where he slept.
"My children," said the old spider, "After Fuz-Buz has told us one more story we will eat him. It will be best to wait until after dark, and then seize him on a sudden and kill him; for he is a very strong fly, and may give me trouble." ”

“ After four days he was still too fat, so he began to think of all the hard conundrums and riddles and charades that ever were heard of, but at last when he had been two days thinking how to make apple pies out of donkies he became so thin that his bones were no thicker than walking sticks, and when he stood sideways he had no shadow at all. ”

“ The young spiders could hardly wait.
"Quick!" they cried, "a story!" "a story!"
"What about?" replied Fuz-buz, glad to be spared.
"Oh about men, big men like Robert Bruce," said they, "and about a Princess too."
"Very well," returned Fuz-buz, "Don't eat me, and I will tell you no end of stories and the first shall be about
Lady Golden Hair and her Two Lovers, Prince Clever and Prince Sturdy.
"A long while ago, and far far away, a lady lived who had such beautiful locks that the people named her Lady Golden Hair. ”

“ So saying he dealt the Bee such a crack that he was forced to stab him like the rest, and there at last was the end of all of them.
As for Fuz-Buz, he said "Well, it's one spider less, and so many flies more. Spiders are of no use and flies are."
Meanwhile Sir Bee wiped his sword and took up his bag of honey, feeling that he had done a clever day's work, while Fuz-Buz flew away to Spain, and never could be brought to tell anybody a story long or short up to the end of his happy life. ”

“ She was such a comical little old lady that the Prince sat down and laughed for five minutes. He ceased his mirth, however, when the old creature waved her fins in a helpless way and groaned aloud.
"'What can I do for you Mrs. Woman-fish?' said he, 'and how came you here?'
"'My dear,' said she, 'I am, as you see, a mermaid. I happened to come on shore last night just to do a little knitting by the light of the moon, when up came a big storm, and the waves gave me a great toss over these rocks and into this hole. ”

“ They fought for two days and two nights, when Krusstikuss got so weak that Growlegrum took him up by the heels and stood him on his head and gave him a mighty spin, for he was made just like a top, and then, while he was spinning, treated him to a kick, and hoisted him over two hills into the sea, where he spun to the bottom and never more was heard of. ”

“ You, a soldier, in the gardens of the Palace! You will be put to death at once.'
[Pg 75]
"'No!' he answered, after thinking a little. 'Not if I can save the Princess. Let us go to the Caliph and confess all. Meanwhile have no fears.'
"Lelie at last gave her consent, and with trembling steps she left him, and seeking the Princess related their strange story.
"In a moment all was confusion. A man in the harem!
"'Bowstrings and sacks!' cried the captain of the guard, as he hurried Mustapha before the Caliph.
"'Wretch!' said Al Raschid the Caliph, 'Who art thou?'
"'A soldier,' said Mustapha. ”

“ The Prince took it up, and laughing, whispered a few words in its curled lip, and then as the mermaid bade him threw it far out into the sea.
"'Now,' said the mermaid, 'If you tell a lady once that you love her she laughs. If you tell her twice she is angry, but when you have ten times said 'I love,' she will either hate or love you, or perhaps may hate and love by turns, each for five minutes as sometimes doth [Pg 34] chance. Now, therefore, many times you must say to her I love you.'
"'But how shall I do this?' asked Prince Ali. ”

“ So the Fox Weeska ran into his den in the rocks, and the Beaver Trowel Ku cried, 'Woe is me! the water has become white stone,' and the Loon Kanecri sang a song to the stars and flew up into the skies and sailed away and away. But Hoota the Owl said, 'I'm comfortable,' and fell fast asleep in a hollow stump."
The next night Mrs. Grabem herself came along with her little ones to hear Fuz-buz relate a tale.
"Be sure it is a nice story," said one of the spiders.
"For my part," cried Mrs. Grabem, "I take no interest in stories, but it pleases me to see the youngsters amused. ”

“ You must think I am a fool.'
"'Eat him!' cried Jack.
"'No, sir,' said Krusstikuss. 'I'd rather leave. If I must die I would like to die easy.'
"So saying the giant gave a groan and set off across the hills. I do not know where he went, but I suppose he travelled home to his mamma, and told her what a fool Jack had made of him.
"As soon as the giant had gone Jack and Prince Bluets went to the castle and set free the Princess and all the babies, who showed their gratitude by screaming for a week. ”

“ Without further words the young man did as he was told, when instantly a great white swan descended from a vast height and alighted on the water's edge beside them. The mermaid at once began to dig in the sand, and presently found a large oyster shell which she desired Ali to open. As he did so a necklace of pearls fell out, the like of which no jeweller ever saw before or since. ”

“ Here are some nice little dishes for breakfast!' and so saying, he emptied his pockets of about two wagon loads of cakes and candy and bon-bons and all kind of goodies such as Princesses eat.
"'Sir,' said the Princess, 'If I am to be a giant's wife, I must learn to eat babies. If you love me you will bring me all the babies you get, that I may keep them until they get so fat and tender that I shall be tempted to eat them.'
"'But what shall I live on myself?' cried Krusstikuss. ”

“ I am grown younger! Woe is me! I am further from Allah.'
"But the King, saying no word, set the flask to his lips and drained it to the utmost drop. Then with a cry of delight he threw the vessel away, and shouting aloud, 'I [Pg 46] am young again!' bounded up the steps and pausing faced the mutely wondering crowd.
"When he turned he was seen as a man in the lusty vigour of life, stalwart and strong of limb.
"'Ho!' he said, 'my guard!' but none stirred, for his face was still changing, and now his beard was gone, and it was a lad who sat upon the throne, and a lad's voice which cried aloud. ”

“ Grabem, who overheard what the fly had said.
"Ha! ha! you would like to be eaten; would you like to have your legs pulled off and your wings torn, and—-?"
"Oh dear! oh dear!" shrieked Fuz-Buz. "Pray stop, I am all in a shiver. I will never be so hasty again."
"Very well," returned the spider firmly. "See that [Pg 63] you remember what I have said, and on no account venture to keep my blessed little children waiting. It spoils their tempers for life. ”

“ What ails you?'
"'Oh dear!' said the other, 'to-morrow I am to be [Pg 51] taken by the guard to be eaten by the Ogres, Growlegrum and Krusstikuss, and when I am gone who will comfort my old mother, for she has no child but me?'
"When the Princess heard this she told her to wait a little, and went herself to find the King.
"'Father,' said she, 'it is hard that all the young girls should be eaten alive by these false giants. Why do not you raise an army and go and fight and kill them? ”

“ It is base to give up to them in this way. Were I a man I would slay them myself.'
"'It would be in vain to try,' answered the King. 'Well,' said the Princess, 'to-morrow I shall go alone in place of the maiden who is chosen, and perhaps some good knight will not willingly let me die so mean a death.'
"The King was very angry, but the Princess was obstinate. Then a young Prince who was present arose and said,
"'I have come, lady, a thousand miles to help you. My name is Prince Bluets, and I am the great-grandson of John, who is sometimes called Jack, the Giant Killer. ”

“ No sooner was her birth known than the magicians foretold that she would be beautiful, and would have blue eyes like lakes, which last was not very hard to foretell because they were already blue, but the magi also declared that on the day of her marriage the King would die.
"'Oh ho!' said the King, who was called Omar, 'If this be so she shall never marry, and I shall live long and pleasantly, and after me she shall be queen. As for my nephew, I fear that he may wish to be king when he grows to manhood. Therefore let him be thrown into the sea.' Then an old Magician arose and spoke thus. ”

“ But as for Fuz-Buz the fly, he sat on a limb above and looked on. After a little, when it was dark or nearly so, [Pg 79] out came Mrs. Grabem slowly, and crawling over her web went down into the crack to murder poor innocent Fuz-Buz. Presently she cried aloud,
"Oh! I'm dead!" which was true in a moment, for Sir Bee had run his long sword straight through her, and she had tumbled off the tree as dead as could be.
At the sound of her voice all the young spiders ran out, and in a moment they saw Sir Bee with his quick sword. ”

“ Then they seized him and thrust him into the circle before the cloudy form of the King of the Genii who thus addressed him.
"'It is not given us to slay, but that thou shalt no more trouble us we order thee to become a gourd, and as we may not sentence any to an endless fate it shall be that [Pg 70] when it pleaseth Allah to turn thee inside out thou shalt then only assume again the form of man.'
"'It is well,' cried Yussef. 'Thanks, oh King!'
"At these words Mustapha fainted. When he recovered he found himself hanging on a vine near by, and presently discovered that he was a huge green gourd. ”

“ Prince, 'and because I want a tress of golden hair the like of which is not to be had on earth.'
"'We don't know much about kisses,' said the rose. 'But it is pleasant to touch a young rose bud when the winds blow us against one another. I suppose that is a kiss.'
"'Yes,' said Sturdy laughing, as he pushed the two roses together till their red lips touched. ”