Samuel McChord Crothers

“ You must not stop to think: that's where you lose time. If I had stopped to think, I should have brought the horse home with me, and I might have had it on my hands yet. There are ever so many people grumbling about the care of their property; they say it is a burden [51] to them. I tell them that it's all their own fault. If they kept their eyes open, they would find plenty of ways of getting rid of it."
Hans had such a shrewd twinkle in his eyes that Miss Muffet felt sure that he would always get the best of a bargain, no matter how it turned out. ”

“ I can't have little girls coming over on the banks of the Tigris and taking the bread out of the mouths of my family."
But when he saw that Miss Muffet was beginning to cry, he changed his tone and said, "I am sure you meant no harm, only you didn't understand about the wages. You could easily earn a hundred sequins at listening, and it isn't so hard to learn when you are young. I would give that much myself to have you listen to a queer thing that happened to me once in Bagdad. ”

“ Miss Muffet could not object to this, because it was the kind she liked best herself.
"I never have been so much afraid of giants," she said, "since I learned about their diseases. They are not nearly so strong as they look. There was Giant Despair,—'in sunshiny weather he fell into fits.' It was while he was having a fit, you know, that Christian and Hopeful got away. ”

“ And once you bought a beautiful purple jar instead of shoes, even though your old shoes had holes in them?"
"It was a youthful indiscretion," said Rosamond, "and I have learned a lesson from it."
"It was just lovely. Any one can have shoes, but a purple jar is something one dreams about: it's almost as good as having a party." ”

“ Then one by one the guests came to Little Miss Muffet and told her what a good time they had had, and how glad they were that Christmas comes once every year. Wynken, Blynken, and Nod sailed away in a wooden shoe. They were such dear little fellows that Miss Muffet was sorry that she hadn't noticed them till they came to say good-by. Mr. Esop put out the lights in his pavilion; and the Arabians mounted their camels and rode slowly toward Bagdad, first making the Sultana promise to tell them a story that would last through the whole Arabian Night. ”

“ Spider positively blushed green. "If you have no objection, let's change the subject again. Business is business; as for flies, there is a difference of opinion about them, and we can't all live on curds and whey, Miss Muffet. ”

“ There were hosts of brownies and elves and fairies, and intelligent white bears, and one or two reformed wolves, and an old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked, and the Marsh King and his daughters, and an old gentleman who looked so much like Santa Claus that Miss Muffet was sure that he must be his brother. Indeed, she could not help noticing that a great many of these North Country folks bore a strong family resemblance to Santa Claus,—but perhaps it was only [28] the way they wore their beards. When she saw them all, she was sorry that she had not invited Santa Claus himself. ”

“ The tailor said that not all of them were so stupid, though fortunately a great many were, and generally when they grew beyond a certain size, something happened to their heads.
"If it weren't for that, Miss Muffet, there would [52] be no room for us common people on the earth. The giants would eat up everything. Now and then there is a young giant like Thumbling who is active and keeps his wits about him. But Thumbling was very little to begin with. Most giants get foolish when they grow up, and then we can put an end to them." ”

“ That must have been an awful time when you had to choose a needle-book instead of that funny stone plum that you could have fooled the boys with."
"But Mamma wanted to train me to be a Free Moral Agent," said Rosamond.
"I don't like agents," said Miss Muffet, and then she was sorry that she had been so rude. "I mean I don't believe in being one till one is more grown up. And now that we are talking about [67] it, maybe you could tell me what the other line means,—
'While on the stithy glows the steel.'"
"You dear little Rosamond"
"A stithy," said Rosamond, "is a kind of blacksmith shop." ”

“ I'll have to write very correctly or he'll criticise the spelling; and then if I invite Rollo, I shall have to invite Jonas, too."
"Certainly," said the spider, "we must invite Jonas, and we must arrange some moral amusement. Suppose in your invitation you leave out the word 'party' and ask him to attend a 'serious symposium.' How would this do?—'Respected Sir, You are earnestly requested to attend a serious symposium at Miss Muffet's, to meet the Rev. Swiss Robinson and other persons interested in the education of youth. The Little Old Woman who [17] lived in a Shoe will preside. ”

“ They had suffered so much that they could not speak of a giant without bitterness.
"But aren't there good giants?" asked Miss Muffet.
"I never heard of one," said the tailor, "except Christopher, and he is a saint and learned how to fast. It isn't a question of their being good: the trouble with them is that they are too big. It takes too much to support them. They eat us out of house and home. We can't get along peaceably till we are all more of a size."
They were all of that opinion, and the stories which they applauded were of the kind where a [53] little man gets the better of a big one. ”

“ Sindbad to hurry on and tell me that [42] he really did get away from them. I can't stand the suspense. The cannibals are frightful creatures, Miss Muffet; they say they eat people. Mr. Sindbad has a perfect genius for having accidents. They come in the most unexpected places. And then he escapes. I sometimes think that is the most wonderful part of it."
"Do you think a little girl who studied hard could learn your profession and practice in Bagdad?" asked Miss Muffet timidly. ”

“ Esop, who, though an excellent man, was inclined to be jealous. Miss Muffet went out to remind the children of the Morals, but in a little while she became as interested as the rest of them.
"His way of talking is different from Mr. Esop's, but I am not sure but he may be right. At any rate, I am glad to hear some one who speaks respectfully about animals, and who doesn't say anything behind their backs that he wouldn't say to their faces. He always remembers that they are persons and have feelings. Then when they do things, he doesn't blame them or call them bad names. ”

“ And there was Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland; and a very queer set they were, for Wonderland is rather out of the world, and the fashions of the Wonderlanders were peculiar, and [24] not at all like anything Miss Muffet had ever seen before. And then how they did act! It was a great relief to see, after the March Hare and the Cheshire Cat and the Duchess, who were skipping along in the most extraordinary manner, Mr. Robinson Crusoe. "He looks so solid and respectable," said Miss Muffet, "and so English, you know." ”

“ Indeed, they didn't know that any one was ever admired unless he had found a pot of gold or done something equally praiseworthy. The shoemaker had never done anything but make shoes, and his wife did the cooking and made the clothes for the family. When they received the invitation to the party, they were greatly astonished and thought it must be a mistake, but the village priest, who read the letter, told them that it was certainly intended for them, though why they were invited was a mystery. ”

“ Fairly jumped off her tuffet
"Yes," answered Miss Muffet wearily. "Sixty seconds make a minute; sixty minutes make an hour. Even Christmas Eve will come to an end some time; but what's the good? For then Christmas will come, and that will never get through." [7]
"What do you say to a party?"
Miss Muffet fairly jumped off her tuffet, for she had never had a party in her life. "Who will invite the people?"
"I will," said the spider.
"But do you think any one will come if you invite them?"
"Why not?"
"Oh! I was just thinking; some people are such 'fraid-cats ”

“ Miss Muffet ran to them and put her hands in theirs.
Scampering off into the dark
"I have just loved you since the time I heard what you did for the little elves who used to come at night after you had gone to bed and finish your work for you. Some people take what's done for them and think no more about it except that they're lucky; but you sat up till midnight and peeped [49] into the room where the elves were working, and saw that they didn't have enough clothes to keep them warm. Then you made each one a shirt and a coat and waistcoat and a pair of trousers and a little pair of shoes. ”

“ He had always made it a rule to be thorough, for whatever was worth doing was worth doing well, and he determined to be the very best listener in Bagdad.
"You see, in my country, we have a great many gentlemen who gain wealth by having adventures. [41] When they come back from their shipwrecks, they naturally want to tell about them; but there's so much competition that it's hard to get a hearing. When they meet with people, like those horrid Wise Men of Gotham, who prefer their own shipwrecks, they go into a decline." ”

“ I asked one of the North Country princes about it just now, and he bowed and said he thanked me for the compliment, but he was no philosopher. It doesn't matter where it is, in the Red Fairy Book or the Green Fairy Book or any color, the third is always the charm, and it seems very much the same way in your country. The oldest brother is always vain and selfish, and when he goes into the forest, always does the very thing he was told not to. ”

“ Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp
[39]
"Listening . . . is hard on the eyes"
A sturdy, round-faced man stood just behind the group, but took no part in the conversation. Whenever Sindbad was talking he became so excited that his eyes seemed almost to pop out of his head, but he quieted down as soon as any one else began. After a time Sindbad came over to him, and taking out his purse, gave him a handful of gold pieces.
"A hundred sequins?" asked Miss Muffet. ”

“ Just then the spider came to take Miss Muffet away to meet some children who came from The Golden Age. Their names were Harold and Edward and Charlotte, and they said they had an Aunt Maria, who had stayed at home because she had not been invited to the party. They had walked all the way along the Roman Road, which made the spider think that they must be tired. In this he was mistaken; though they said that they were ready for the refreshments.
[44]
The Golden Age children said that they didn't like to play with grown folks ”

“ The longest letter was that sent to Agamemnon Peterkin. Miss Muffet wrote it very carefully, underscoring all the important parts, and adding a map showing the way from the Peterkins' house to the palace. She asked him to bring all the family, including the little boys.
"I don't see how he can make a mistake," she said, "but he probably will. They are all so ingenious. They find out how to make mistakes that other folks would never think of."
"What about Mr. Henty's boys?" said the spider; "there are so many of them." ”

“ I don't like to mix up Myths with my Fables, for the chances are that the Mythical Personage, instead of having a Moral, may turn out to be only a Sign of the Zodiac. This is always confusing to the Public. ”

“ This suited Miss Muffet just as well. [74]
"It's what I really want to hear about," she said. "Dervishry must be very hard work when you do it well, but it gives you a chance to meet all the interesting people. Let me see; you have a bowl, and you sit under a palm-tree by a well, and then the Calendars and Cadis and Muftis and Merchants and Mendicants and the ladies of Bagdad come and ask you questions, and when they put things in your bowl you answer them?"
The Dervish said that that would be against the rule. ”

“ Some were evidently very good, and some were painful examples of youthful wickedness, while others were chiefly interested in Natural History.
"Youths," said the Little Old Woman, "are easier to understand than boys and girls and other young folks. Youths have habits, and each one practices only one at a time. When they do a naughty thing, they keep on doing it regularly ”

“ Then Uncle Remus cried out with infinite scorn, "Come along, little boy; dat ain't worth shucks; dat ain't Brer Rabbit, nohow. I 'low dat rabbit's stuffed."
"But, Uncle Remus," said Miss Muffet, "perhaps you will like the Fables better when you get acquainted with them. I'm sure they have always borne a good reputation. And now I should like to introduce you to Mr. Esop; it's such a pleasure to bring together people of the same tastes. Mr. Esop, allow me to introduce my friend, Mr. ”