Lady Florence Eveleen Eleanore Olliffe Bell

“ CURTAIN SCENE II.—THE DREAM
A market place. A ring of children dancing hand in hand round Banbury Cross, which stands in the middle, half way up stage. Children sing:
"Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse:
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes."
At the end of the tune they leave off dancing after singing it through.
First Child. Oh, I'm so out of breath.
Second Child. Let's rest a little.
Third Child. Yes, till the Procession comes. ”

“ Muffet. No, I don't want to give the path a treat, do I? Oh, I'll be so careful, nursie, you'll see. Do let me.
Nurse. Very well then, just for once you may. But mind, you mustn't begin Curds with a K.
Muffet. I'll begin it with a spoon, dear nursie—that's best. I'll go and get it from the kitchen.
Nurse. And I'll go and fetch the darling baby. Bless his pretty heart for a popsy wopsy toodelums.
SCENE II
The grounds—a grassy hillock—some trees. Enter the Spider, prowling mysteriously.
The Spider should have eight legs, made of thick wire, bent and covered with black. ”

“ Spider. What's the matter, little Two-legs?
[Sits down by her on the tuffet. Miss Muffet puts down the curds and whey and rushes in to meet Nurse coming in L. with baby.
Nurse. What is it, darling? What's the matter?
Muffet. Oh, Nursie, it's a spider—the biggest you ever saw, and he came and sat down beside me and frightened me away.
Nurse [seeing Spider] . Oh! he is a monster.
Spider. Really, the manners of these two-legged persons!
Nurse. I'll soon chase it away. Shoo! Shoo! I'll stamp upon him if I get a chance. That will teach him to be a spider. ”

“ Dog. Dogs are always honest, they are not like cats.
Cat. And cats are always polite. They are not like dogs.
Dog. Now listen, Cat. If the Cow jumps so high that we can see the moon beneath her, that shall be counted jumping over the moon.
Cat. All right, then, draw the curtain so that we can see the moon.
[Dish draws the curtain—moon seen on the horizon.
Dog. Now then. One, two, three.
[Cow jumps. Moon seen under her as she jumps.
Dog. Ha, ha, ha! It makes me laugh to see such sport. Cow, you have won. We saw the moon under you as you jumped.
Dish and Spoon. Yes, we did!
Dog [to Cat] . ”

“ As to costume, the period of none of the plays, fortunately, is precisely known, and the performers therefore can be dressed up as they choose. Where animals' heads are required, such as the Cow, Dog, and Cat in the Cat and the Fiddle, the Goose and Drake in Goosey-Gander, and the Cock in Ride-a-Cock-horse, these will not be found very difficult to make out of cardboard, not too stiff, bent to the shape required and roughly painted. ”

“ The audience, which will probably largely consist of the relations of the performers, will be just as pleased whatever happens, and so will every child-lover who is looking on. So will the actors, whose enjoyment is assured if they are acting and dressing up. And the spectator who does not like seeing their enjoyment does not deserve to have any himself, so we need not take him into account. ”

“ Muffet. And they won't be real savages?
Nurse. Certainly not.
Muffet. I always think it's so much nicer to pretend.
[Nurse goes off R. Muffet goes on eating her curds and whey. Spider comes in L. with coil of string. Spider, before seeing Muffet, looks up at bough.
Spider. No, this is the best place, I'm sure.
[Sees Muffet, who has nearly eaten her curds. She looks up and sees him, and cries out.
Muffet. Oh! Oh! Oh! Nurse! Nurse! Here's an enormous spider!
Spider. You are very rude—that's worse than being enormous.
Muffet [looking frightened] . ”

“ Mrs. S. Yes, she does, but to-day she's out. I'm afraid she must have had a tumble off her bicycle.
Mrs. C. Bicycle indeed! In my young days feet were good enough.
Mrs. J. [laughing] . Quite true, Mrs. Crabstick. If we had been meant to go on bicycles we should be born with wheels instead of legs. [Pg 19]
Mrs. B. Ah, it's a weary world.
Mrs. S. Oh dear me, Mrs. Crabstick, don't be so gloomy. I've got another little maid to take Sukey's place this afternoon. You'll get your tea all the same. The kettle's boiling now. Polly, is everything ready?
Polly. Yes, ma'am. ”

“ Farmer Giles. Ah, the little uns was teasing of him, I daresay. It'll do them no harm to be learned how to behave in the farmyard.
Bailiff [mounting his horse] . Well, he had better not do it again.
[Shakes his stick at Gander. Gander rushes at him. They fight. Drake and Gander peck and flap. Bailiff beats them with his stick. Gander gets hold of his coat with his beak. Bailiff beats him off. Farmer Giles looks on, smoking and smiling.
Bailiff. My best coat! Look! this is intolerable. I shall go straight to the castle and complain to her ladyship.
[Gallops off R.
Farmer Giles [to Gander] . ”

“ If a grown-up who can play the tune on one of these instruments is not available for the part of the cat, the child who acts it can be taught, while mewing the tune through after tuning, to draw the bow across the open D string and A string on first beat, provided the instrument is not too precious for such handling. ”

“ In every case the tune of the nursery rhyme, the dramatized version of which is about to be acted, should be played through twice on the piano before the curtain is raised: the first time without singing; the second time the audience, of which the majority presumably will be children, should be asked to join in and sing it too, led by the performers singing it behind the scenes. ”

“ Here comes a candle to light you to bed,
And here comes a chopper to chop off your head.
Neighbours. Oh, what a noise!
Bow. It's Bellringers' Day, ma'am. We may make as much noise as we like. Now then, all together.
[They stand in a row and sing the song straight through. Then they either march round in single file without singing, but ringing their bells, while the tune is played on the piano, or else dance. In either case the neighbours may join in.
CURTAIN
[Pg 32]
RIDE A COCK-HORSE SCENE I
Timmy and Jimmy in separate beds, feet to audience, as the curtain goes up. ”

“ Kitty [sings to tune, ringing bell] . Oranges and lemons, says the Bells of St. Clement's!
St. M. Jolly good they look.
Kitty. Buy one?
St. M. Yes, if they're not too dear. How much are they?
Kitty. Two pennies for each orange, and two pennies and three farthings for each lemon.
St. M. All right, I'll have one of each. Now, twopence for this, you say, and twopence three farthings for this. Can you reckon up how much that is?
Kitty. No—you must.
St. M. Girls are silly. That makes fourpence three-farthings. Now, here's a sixpence, and you must give me five farthings change. ”

“ Mrs. P. My Billy would never have done such a thing.
Humpty. Of course he wouldn't—he's much too stupid.
Mrs. P. Stupid! Not he—he's got too much sense to go falling off a wall just when a procession was coming. I shall go home and tell him what you did.
Humpty. And mind you tell him that all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't pick Humpty Dumpty up again—till he chose!
[Gets up.
CURTAIN
[A] For this brew plenty of blacking should be mixed with water; it should be shaken up the last thing to make sure that the blacking has not sunk to the bottom. ”

“ Mrs. C. [grimly] . We all have. It's a weary world.
Mrs. J. Oh, Mrs. Crabstick, cheer up, just when we've come to such a nice tea-party.
Mrs. C. I depend on my tea.
Mrs. B. Oh, of course; so do I.
Mrs. J. We all do.
Mrs. S. Well, I hope you'll get it as you like it to-day.
Mrs. C. One doesn't get what one's used to out of their own house, but if you come out to tea one must make the best of it.
Mrs. J. [to Mrs. S.] . And your little maid, Sukey, makes such good tea. ”

“ Pours out: water only comes out of the pot.
Mrs. S. Oh!
Mrs. J. There's only water in the teapot.
Mrs. B. There's no tea in it.
Mrs. S. Oh dear, what can have happened? Polly!
Polly. Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. S. There's no tea in the teapot.
Polly. No, ma'am.
Mrs. S. But I told you to put in some tea, and I gave you the tea-caddy.
Polly. Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. S. Then what did you do with the tea?
Polly. Put it into the kettle, ma'am.
Mrs. S. Into the kettle! Give me the kettle at once.
Polly. Yes, ma'am. ”

“ Shoreditch [sings, smiling] . "When I grow rich, says the bell of Shoreditch."
Old Bailey. That's all very well, but it's a long time to wait. You put back that orange and give me back the pennies.
[They begin fighting, their bells making a noise as they do so. Enter Stepney and Bow, ringing bells, Stepney in front.
Stepney. Stepney!
Bow. And Bow!
Stepney. Stepney!
Bow. And Bow!
[They look at the boys fighting.
Bow. What's all this about?
Old Bailey. I've lent this Shoreditch boy twopence, and he says he'll pay me when he grows rich.
Stepney [to Shoreditch, sings] . "When will that be? ”

“ So should I.
[They begin to talk sleepily.
Tim. And what about the fine lady? What do you think Banbury Cross is like?
Jim. Oh, there's the picture. Look, it's a great stone thing; and there's the fine lady all in white, with a crown on.
Tim. I wish there was a picture of the cock-horse too.
Jim [more sleepily] . I should like to ride on it—and—go to see the fine lady.
Tim. Yes, we'd go to Banbury Cross and—see—her. ”

“ Dish. Come along, Spoon. I'll run away with you into the fields.
Cow. Oh, what fun! we'll all elope together. Come on, Dog!
[They all dance round, and finally out. Length of dance ad lib., but they must go round twice at least. As they go from one side of the stage to the other, Cat comes in, in the contrary direction, meeting them. She carries her 'cello and stick in one hand, and in the other a small suit case. She tosses her head scornfully at the others and marches out.
CURTAIN
[Pg 13]
LUCY LOCKET CHARACTERS MRS. LOCKET
LUCY, her daughter
KITTY FISHER, her niece
⁂Produced at St. ”