Shakespeare

“ I serve the good duke of Norfolk, and tis his lodging. Storm, I care not, serving the good Duke of Norfolk: thou art an actor in this, and thou shalt carry fire in thy face eternally.
[Enter Smug, Mountchensey, Harry Clare, and Milliscent.]
SMUG. Fire, s’blood, there’s no fire in England like your Trinidado sack. Is any man here humorous? We stole the venison, and we’ll justify it: say you now!
HOST.
In good sooth, Smug, there’s more sack on the fire, Smug. ”

“ HOST. Knight, thy breath hath the force of a woman, it takes me down; I am for the baser element of the kitchen: I retire like a valiant soldier, face point blank to the foe-man, or, like a Courtier, that must not shew the Prince his posteriors; vanish to know my canuasadoes, and my interrogatories, for I serve the good Duke of Norfolk. ”

“ God a mercy, my good host Blague:
Thou hast a good seat here.
HOST. Tis correspondent or so: there’s not a Tartarian nor a Carrier shall breath upon your geldings; they have villainous rank feet, the rogues, and they shall not sweat in my linen. Knights and Lords too have been drunk in my house, I thank the destinies.
HARRY. Pre’ thee, good sinful Innkeeper, will that corruption, thine Ostler, look well to my gelding. Hay, a pox a these rushes!
HOST. You Saint Dennis, your gelding shall walk without doors, and cool his feet for his masters sake. ”

“ Mine host, mine host, we lay all night at the George in
Waltham; but whether the George be your fee-simple or no,
tis a doubtful question: look upon your sign.
HOST. Body of Saint George, this is mine overthwart neighbour hath done this to seduce my blind customers. I’ll tickle his Catastrophe for this; if I do not indite him at next assisses for Burglary, let me die of the yellows; for I see tis no boot in these days to serve the good Duke of Norfolk. The villanous world is turned manger; one Jade deceives another, and your Ostler plays his part commonly for the fourth share. ”

“ BILBO. O, I cry you mercy, he is your father, sir, indeed; but I am sure that there’s less affinity betwixt your two natures then there is between a broker and a cutpurse.
MOUNCHENSEY.
Bring my gelding, sirra.
BILBO. Well, nothing grieves me, but for the poor wench; she must now cry vale to Lobster pies, hartichokes, and all such meats of mortality; poor gentlewoman, the sign must not be in virgo any longer with her, and that me grieves full well.
Poor Milliscent
Must pray and repent:
O fatal wonder!
She’ll now be no fatter,
Love must not come at her
Yet she shall be kept under. ”

“ MOUNTCHENSEY.
Pursue the project, scholler: what we can do
To help indeavour, join our lives thereto!
[Exeunt.]
ACT II. SCENE I. Waltham: The house of Banks. [Enter Banks, Sir John and Smug.]
BANKS. Take me with you, good Sir John! A plague on thee, Smug, and thou touchest liquor, thou art founderd straight. What, are your brains always water-mills? must they ever run round?
SMUG. Banks, your ale is a Philistine fox; z’hart, there’s fire i’th tail on’t; you are a rogue to charge us with Mugs i’th rereward. A plague of this wind; O, it tickles our catastrophe. ”

“ BLAGUE. Come, ye Hungarian pilchers, we are once more come under the zona torrida of the forest. Let’s be resolute, let’s fly to and again; and if the devil come, we’ll put him to his Interrogatories, and not budge a foot. What? s’foot, I’ll put fire into you, ye shall all three serve the good Duke of Norfolk.
SMUG. Mine host, my bully, my pretious consull, my noble Holofernes, I have been drunk i’ thy house twenty times and ten, all’s for that: I was last night in the third heavens, my brain was poor, it had yest in ’t; but now I am a man of action; is ’t not so, lad? ”

“ Inspired with knowledge, should by that alone
Which makes a man so mean unto the powers,
Even lead him down into the depth of hell,
When men in their own pride strive to know more
Then man should know! ”

“ I can meet mine host Blague, I’ll tell him how Smug is
tain, and will him to look to himself.
[Exit.]
HOST. What the devil is that white thing? this same is a Church- yard, and I have heard that ghosts and villenous goblins have been seen here.
[Enter Sexton and Priest.]
PRIEST. Grass and hay! O, that I could conjure! we saw a spirit here in the Church-yard; and in the fallow field there’s the devil with a man’s body upon his back in a white sheet. ”

“ JERNINGHAM. The Abbot of Waltham will have as many Children to put to nurse as he has calves in the Marsh.
MOUNTCHENSEY. Well, to be brief, the Nun will soon at night turn tippit; if I can but devise to quit her cleanly of the Nunry, she is mine own.
FABELL.
But, Sirra Raymond,
What news of Peter Fabell at the house?
MOUNTCHENSEY.
Tush, he’s the only man;
A Necromancer and a Conjurer
That works for young Mountchensey altogether;
And if it be not for Friar Benedick,
That he can cross him by his learned skill,
The Wench is gone ”

“ O Lord, I saw fifteen spirits in the forest, like white bulls; if I lie, I am an arrant thief: mortality haunts us—grass and hay! the devils at our heels, and let’s hence to the parsonage.
[Exeunt.]
[The Miller comes out very softly.]
MILLER. What noise was that? tis the watch, sure; that villanous unlucky rogue, Smug, is tain, upon my life; and then all our villeny comes out; I heard one cry, sure.
[Enter Host Blague.]
HOST. If I go steal any more venison, I am a Paradox: s’foot, I can scarce bear the sin of my flesh in the day, tis so heavy ”

“ Be lively, boys, before the wench we lose,
I’ll make the Abbas wear the Cannons hose.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE III. The same. [Enter Harry Clare, Frank Jerningham, Peter Fabell, and
Milliscent.]
HARRY CLARE.
Spight now hath done her worst; sister, be patient.
JERNINGHAM.
Forewarned poor Raymonds company! O heaven!
When the composure of weak frailty meet
Upon this mart of durt, O, then weak love
Must in her own unhappiness be silent,
And winck on all deformities.
MILLISCENT.
Tis well:
Where’s Raymond, brother? where’s my dear Mounchensey?
Would we might weep together and then part ”